Peter_Rotten
10-20-2008, 12:45 PM
5-2, 20th place
Ugh, 2 hours and 40 minutes in the car by myself driving to a city I hate. Seriously, once in college, I partied in Binghamton. My friends and I were at a party, which was sorta lame, so we left it, wandered for like an hour looking for a bar, never found one, came back to the party which was still lame, hung with the stoners who were sorta lame, and finally went to sleep. Forever Binghamton is placed in my lame-party-city category. See? Even the story was lame. But I digress.
For any big tourney, I have a personal theory: I need to play a deck with few decisions. I need to play a deck that my opponent has to answer. I need to play a deck with redundant threats. Enter – surprise, surprise – GoyfSligh.
When I finally see the long lost Albany crew, JP has the nerve to inform me that he is going to play the pile known as WStax! What a fool. I try to convince him to not play that POS since it’s an um, POS, and he’ll never get near Top8 with that crappy deck. Besides, it has a bad Dreadstill match.
Before the tourney, I play some games with JimP. I will not reveal my whole list of my broken deck, but I will allow you to look at the synergies I’ve unearthed in these cards:
http://www.wizards.com/global/images/magic/general/slippery_bogle.jpg
https://www.coolstuffinc.com/images/Products/mtg%20art/Eventide/EVT151.jpg
http://www.wizards.com/global/images/magic/general/Shorecrasher_Mimic.jpg
(I take full credit for discovering these well-hidden synergies. I was the first to see these synergies and I am the first to post about them. I'm not saying that the Germans took my idea, which is a possibility. All that I'm saying is, that I hadn't supposedly taken theirs. I had no idea about the German’s take on the idea until I Googled Slippery Bogle myself. Dirty, idea-stealing Germans.)
It will be difficult to concentrate on my report once you too have noticed the inherent brokenness of those cards when played together. I apologize for this. If I had time to refine it, I would have played it on Saturday.
My Goyf Sligh list:
Critters:
4 Fanatic
3 Grims
3 Figures
3 Keldons
4 Goyfs
Burn:
4 Bolts
4 Chains
4 Rifts
3 Fireblast
3 PoPs
Fix it:
4 Magma Jets
2 Sylvan Library
1 Krosan Grip
Lands:
4 Foothills
2 Mires
7 Mountains
4 Taigas
1 Forest
SB:
2 Shattering Spree
2 Grip
1 Hearth Kami
4 Crypt
1 PoP
2 Shusher
3 Pyroclasm
Round 1: vs. Zach with Survival (2-0)
1. I get early beats in and Zach eventually drops Shriekmaw on my Grim that has been bigjobbing his life total. He has a bunch of critters to block – including a BoP and a Rofellos. At him at 3 life, with my critters sorta sucking compared to his, and my hand empty, he top decks Survival. I figure that I’ll lose that turn but he has NO life gainers to Survival up. Plus, Anger was IN PLAY! He goes semi nutz with Survival, passes the turn, and I top deck a Bolt.
2. I have a mediocre hand with 2 lands, Grip, critters, but keep it because it also has Library. His Duresses me turn one and takes…. GRIP! I’m like – oh snap!
http://www.forumspile.com/Misc-OhSnap.jpg
I might still be in this game! I drop a critter and he drops a turn two needle naming Grim Lavamang. WTF! He took Grip to protect his Needle! I drop my turn 2 Library and use it to filter into good stuff for the win.
Round 2: Wallace playing DragonStompy. (2-0)
1. Wallace leads with a turn 1 mountain-go and I think that maybe I’m facing the mirror match. However, his turn 2 lock piece (for the life of me I can’t remember if it’s a Chally or Trini) clues me in that I’ll be facing that rotten DragonStompy nonsense. I’m still at 17 life when I eventually win the game from under his lock pieces.
2. This game Wallace leads with an early ArcSlogger, double Trini, and a Chalice for 1. Looks like I lose this one. Nope! This turns out to be a KILLER match. I got a 5/6 Goyf to hold off his Slogger. I got 2cc burn spells to kill his Magus and Morphies. I got a basic Forest to get green mana for a Library and Grip. I got Grip to kill Chally. I got Shattering Spree to kill both Trinis. I got another Grip to kill is OTHER Chally for one. However, I don’t have an answer to his third Trini. And here, I think Wallace misplayed. To keep Hellbent – just for the hell of it – Wallace, at 6 life, drops a City on the table with 2 tombs in play. Guess what I cast to kill him.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/9d/Pop_Goes_the_Weasel_cover.jpg/250px-Pop_Goes_the_Weasel_cover.jpg
Round 3: Jeremy playing UGW Thresh. (1-2)
1. Jeremy leads with Forest-Top and I’m like WTF. For a few seconds I think that he may be playing some sort of bad home-brew, Elf or Survival deck, and I get all giddy. But I remember him from Mass, and he generally plays good decks. I put two and two together and guess UGW Thresh. After all this time playing GoyfSligh, I have NEVER played against UGW Thresh in a tourney and I got bad feelings about it. In this game, I may have used Library too aggressively (spending a total of 12 life) and he wins with Goyf beats while at 7 life.
2. I get a better start and win the game at 5 life. The highlight of this game is when Jeremy did some serious searching at 1 life with a suspended Riftbolt on the table. He Pondered, B-Stormed, Topped, prayed to the Pope, but could not find the StP to gain some life.
3. He CounterTops a few of my spells which buys him enough time to get some beats on the table and finish me with an Enforcer. He is at a comfy 8 life and I have no (or few) cards in hand when he wins. Grumpy face. After starting the day at 3-0, Jeremy proceeds to lose his next three matches to make my tie-breakers yucky. Shame on you.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v35/TheCEO/Shame-award-1.jpg
Round 4: Eric playing Team America (2-1)
1. I drop a turn one critter while Eric turn 2 StinkHoles my land. In my head, I’m a jerk and slap myself high-five. When I see StinkHole, it’s like seeing that kid without sleeves sitting across from you – you know have a good match here. However, the Stifle on my Fetch land totally surprises me. I compose myself knowing that I’ve been whupping on JimP’s LD Deck forever – which seriously runs a LD spell for each of my 18 lands – so I’m not too worried. I get 2 Fanatics and a Grim on the table and even though I have no land for awhile, I get in enough beats to cast some cheap burn and win.
2. Eric Thoughtseizes to prevent 1 dmg. Seriously, I love that discard costs 2 life now. Unfortunately, Eric gets some Goyfs down and I lose the match with him at 2 life.
3. I win the game at 19 life, being able to RiftBolt/Lavamang his Tombstalker.
http://markschaer.com/drawings/2003/Stink-Hole.jpg
I go to play a casual match and realize that someone has stolen my super secret tech-deck, SlipperyBogle! I search everywhere! This is how HOT the SlipperyBogle tech is! PPL are stealing it! Eventually JimP confesses. Shamed by his loss to SlipperyBogle, he had “mistakenly” picked up the deck and put it in his bag. He then proceeds to lose again to it with his Sneak Attack deck. I hope he learned his lesson: don’t touch my SlipperyBogle.
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/07/71/779a828fd7a0293cde990110._AA240_.L.jpg
Round 5: Tariq playing Landstill (2-0)
1. I win the game at 19 life even though Tariq cheats and plays like 18 StPs to kill all my threats. I’m glad that I won game 1 since I know that that motherfucking Planeswalker that I refuse to name is coming in game 2 and 3.
2. I get a turn 2 Library down and Tariq has a few issues with only having blue mana. I use the Library liberally to draw plenty of burn and kill him before that Planeswalker gets into play. I hate that card and flip it the bird when Tariq shows it to me after the match.
http://www.waynebesen.com/Big%20Bird.jpg
Round 6: Kyle – UB AnD (1-2)
1. I saw what Kyle was playing last round and my hopes for Top8 die just a little more than they should. Dead on the inside, I mully to 5. I’m able to do 2 dmg to him before he goes off.
2. I have a near perfect hand against him and get some cheap beats and burn in to lower his life total. He attempts to go off and goes down to 6 life but still doesn’t find what he needs. Even though I’m tapped out, Fireblast in my hand and Fanatic on the table make sure that any non-0cc flip wins me the game.
3. Damn – this game was soooo close. I get a decent start and he is NOT happy with his hand. I nickel and dime him to 11 life and on his turn, he thinks for EVER. In fact, he thinks so long, I consider calling the judge. But, fuck it, it’s not like we’re going to go to time, so I decide not to be that dick today. He apologizes for thinking so long. I try to goad him into taking one more turn since I can deal maybe 5 more dmg to him and there is very little chance he could go off at that life, but he doesn’t fall for it. Hell, I may have “showed my hand” there and convinced him to try going off now. He casts some mana and AnD, and we watch his life total dwindle to 10, 8, 7, 6, - FLIPS TENDRILS - 2, then Chrome Mox which gives him enough to go off. CRAP! If only I had a Fireblast in my hand. Or if only I had cheaper burn. Or if only he flipped a Cabal Ritual, or Infernal Tutor, or AnD, or another Tendrils… yeah. This was my only “if only” moment in the tournament.
http://blog.nestlepoell.net/wp-content/images/If_only_02_(2004).jpg
Round 7: Jeff playing Merfolk
1. This a bit anti-climatic since I now know that I’m struggling to make top 16 instead of top 8. I’m still at 20 when I burn and beat him out. It helps that he was a bit land flooded. (hint, hint, pun).
2. I get him to 8 but his little fishies pretend to have synergy and swim on my grill.
3. An early Library helps filter my draws and I keep laying beats and casting burn to fry his fish.
After winning that match, I let Ben play with my SlipperyBogle. He enjoyed it.
Props:
Slippery Bogle. A 3/3 flying, vigilant can’t be the target of YOUR spells critter, pwning your chin sometime soon.
Anyone who had anything to do with organizing this thing.
Slops:
JP for playing bad decks.
Jeremy! Where’s my tiebreakers at?
Norm for playing Edict in his black deck and killing SlipperyBogle.
The God Hates **** people
http://loscuatroojos.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/god-hates-****.jpg
Ugh, 2 hours and 40 minutes in the car by myself driving to a city I hate. Seriously, once in college, I partied in Binghamton. My friends and I were at a party, which was sorta lame, so we left it, wandered for like an hour looking for a bar, never found one, came back to the party which was still lame, hung with the stoners who were sorta lame, and finally went to sleep. Forever Binghamton is placed in my lame-party-city category. See? Even the story was lame. But I digress.
For any big tourney, I have a personal theory: I need to play a deck with few decisions. I need to play a deck that my opponent has to answer. I need to play a deck with redundant threats. Enter – surprise, surprise – GoyfSligh.
When I finally see the long lost Albany crew, JP has the nerve to inform me that he is going to play the pile known as WStax! What a fool. I try to convince him to not play that POS since it’s an um, POS, and he’ll never get near Top8 with that crappy deck. Besides, it has a bad Dreadstill match.
Before the tourney, I play some games with JimP. I will not reveal my whole list of my broken deck, but I will allow you to look at the synergies I’ve unearthed in these cards:
http://www.wizards.com/global/images/magic/general/slippery_bogle.jpg
https://www.coolstuffinc.com/images/Products/mtg%20art/Eventide/EVT151.jpg
http://www.wizards.com/global/images/magic/general/Shorecrasher_Mimic.jpg
(I take full credit for discovering these well-hidden synergies. I was the first to see these synergies and I am the first to post about them. I'm not saying that the Germans took my idea, which is a possibility. All that I'm saying is, that I hadn't supposedly taken theirs. I had no idea about the German’s take on the idea until I Googled Slippery Bogle myself. Dirty, idea-stealing Germans.)
It will be difficult to concentrate on my report once you too have noticed the inherent brokenness of those cards when played together. I apologize for this. If I had time to refine it, I would have played it on Saturday.
My Goyf Sligh list:
Critters:
4 Fanatic
3 Grims
3 Figures
3 Keldons
4 Goyfs
Burn:
4 Bolts
4 Chains
4 Rifts
3 Fireblast
3 PoPs
Fix it:
4 Magma Jets
2 Sylvan Library
1 Krosan Grip
Lands:
4 Foothills
2 Mires
7 Mountains
4 Taigas
1 Forest
SB:
2 Shattering Spree
2 Grip
1 Hearth Kami
4 Crypt
1 PoP
2 Shusher
3 Pyroclasm
Round 1: vs. Zach with Survival (2-0)
1. I get early beats in and Zach eventually drops Shriekmaw on my Grim that has been bigjobbing his life total. He has a bunch of critters to block – including a BoP and a Rofellos. At him at 3 life, with my critters sorta sucking compared to his, and my hand empty, he top decks Survival. I figure that I’ll lose that turn but he has NO life gainers to Survival up. Plus, Anger was IN PLAY! He goes semi nutz with Survival, passes the turn, and I top deck a Bolt.
2. I have a mediocre hand with 2 lands, Grip, critters, but keep it because it also has Library. His Duresses me turn one and takes…. GRIP! I’m like – oh snap!
http://www.forumspile.com/Misc-OhSnap.jpg
I might still be in this game! I drop a critter and he drops a turn two needle naming Grim Lavamang. WTF! He took Grip to protect his Needle! I drop my turn 2 Library and use it to filter into good stuff for the win.
Round 2: Wallace playing DragonStompy. (2-0)
1. Wallace leads with a turn 1 mountain-go and I think that maybe I’m facing the mirror match. However, his turn 2 lock piece (for the life of me I can’t remember if it’s a Chally or Trini) clues me in that I’ll be facing that rotten DragonStompy nonsense. I’m still at 17 life when I eventually win the game from under his lock pieces.
2. This game Wallace leads with an early ArcSlogger, double Trini, and a Chalice for 1. Looks like I lose this one. Nope! This turns out to be a KILLER match. I got a 5/6 Goyf to hold off his Slogger. I got 2cc burn spells to kill his Magus and Morphies. I got a basic Forest to get green mana for a Library and Grip. I got Grip to kill Chally. I got Shattering Spree to kill both Trinis. I got another Grip to kill is OTHER Chally for one. However, I don’t have an answer to his third Trini. And here, I think Wallace misplayed. To keep Hellbent – just for the hell of it – Wallace, at 6 life, drops a City on the table with 2 tombs in play. Guess what I cast to kill him.
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/9/9d/Pop_Goes_the_Weasel_cover.jpg/250px-Pop_Goes_the_Weasel_cover.jpg
Round 3: Jeremy playing UGW Thresh. (1-2)
1. Jeremy leads with Forest-Top and I’m like WTF. For a few seconds I think that he may be playing some sort of bad home-brew, Elf or Survival deck, and I get all giddy. But I remember him from Mass, and he generally plays good decks. I put two and two together and guess UGW Thresh. After all this time playing GoyfSligh, I have NEVER played against UGW Thresh in a tourney and I got bad feelings about it. In this game, I may have used Library too aggressively (spending a total of 12 life) and he wins with Goyf beats while at 7 life.
2. I get a better start and win the game at 5 life. The highlight of this game is when Jeremy did some serious searching at 1 life with a suspended Riftbolt on the table. He Pondered, B-Stormed, Topped, prayed to the Pope, but could not find the StP to gain some life.
3. He CounterTops a few of my spells which buys him enough time to get some beats on the table and finish me with an Enforcer. He is at a comfy 8 life and I have no (or few) cards in hand when he wins. Grumpy face. After starting the day at 3-0, Jeremy proceeds to lose his next three matches to make my tie-breakers yucky. Shame on you.
http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v35/TheCEO/Shame-award-1.jpg
Round 4: Eric playing Team America (2-1)
1. I drop a turn one critter while Eric turn 2 StinkHoles my land. In my head, I’m a jerk and slap myself high-five. When I see StinkHole, it’s like seeing that kid without sleeves sitting across from you – you know have a good match here. However, the Stifle on my Fetch land totally surprises me. I compose myself knowing that I’ve been whupping on JimP’s LD Deck forever – which seriously runs a LD spell for each of my 18 lands – so I’m not too worried. I get 2 Fanatics and a Grim on the table and even though I have no land for awhile, I get in enough beats to cast some cheap burn and win.
2. Eric Thoughtseizes to prevent 1 dmg. Seriously, I love that discard costs 2 life now. Unfortunately, Eric gets some Goyfs down and I lose the match with him at 2 life.
3. I win the game at 19 life, being able to RiftBolt/Lavamang his Tombstalker.
http://markschaer.com/drawings/2003/Stink-Hole.jpg
I go to play a casual match and realize that someone has stolen my super secret tech-deck, SlipperyBogle! I search everywhere! This is how HOT the SlipperyBogle tech is! PPL are stealing it! Eventually JimP confesses. Shamed by his loss to SlipperyBogle, he had “mistakenly” picked up the deck and put it in his bag. He then proceeds to lose again to it with his Sneak Attack deck. I hope he learned his lesson: don’t touch my SlipperyBogle.
http://g-ecx.images-amazon.com/images/G/01/ciu/07/71/779a828fd7a0293cde990110._AA240_.L.jpg
Round 5: Tariq playing Landstill (2-0)
1. I win the game at 19 life even though Tariq cheats and plays like 18 StPs to kill all my threats. I’m glad that I won game 1 since I know that that motherfucking Planeswalker that I refuse to name is coming in game 2 and 3.
2. I get a turn 2 Library down and Tariq has a few issues with only having blue mana. I use the Library liberally to draw plenty of burn and kill him before that Planeswalker gets into play. I hate that card and flip it the bird when Tariq shows it to me after the match.
http://www.waynebesen.com/Big%20Bird.jpg
Round 6: Kyle – UB AnD (1-2)
1. I saw what Kyle was playing last round and my hopes for Top8 die just a little more than they should. Dead on the inside, I mully to 5. I’m able to do 2 dmg to him before he goes off.
2. I have a near perfect hand against him and get some cheap beats and burn in to lower his life total. He attempts to go off and goes down to 6 life but still doesn’t find what he needs. Even though I’m tapped out, Fireblast in my hand and Fanatic on the table make sure that any non-0cc flip wins me the game.
3. Damn – this game was soooo close. I get a decent start and he is NOT happy with his hand. I nickel and dime him to 11 life and on his turn, he thinks for EVER. In fact, he thinks so long, I consider calling the judge. But, fuck it, it’s not like we’re going to go to time, so I decide not to be that dick today. He apologizes for thinking so long. I try to goad him into taking one more turn since I can deal maybe 5 more dmg to him and there is very little chance he could go off at that life, but he doesn’t fall for it. Hell, I may have “showed my hand” there and convinced him to try going off now. He casts some mana and AnD, and we watch his life total dwindle to 10, 8, 7, 6, - FLIPS TENDRILS - 2, then Chrome Mox which gives him enough to go off. CRAP! If only I had a Fireblast in my hand. Or if only I had cheaper burn. Or if only he flipped a Cabal Ritual, or Infernal Tutor, or AnD, or another Tendrils… yeah. This was my only “if only” moment in the tournament.
http://blog.nestlepoell.net/wp-content/images/If_only_02_(2004).jpg
Round 7: Jeff playing Merfolk
1. This a bit anti-climatic since I now know that I’m struggling to make top 16 instead of top 8. I’m still at 20 when I burn and beat him out. It helps that he was a bit land flooded. (hint, hint, pun).
2. I get him to 8 but his little fishies pretend to have synergy and swim on my grill.
3. An early Library helps filter my draws and I keep laying beats and casting burn to fry his fish.
After winning that match, I let Ben play with my SlipperyBogle. He enjoyed it.
Props:
Slippery Bogle. A 3/3 flying, vigilant can’t be the target of YOUR spells critter, pwning your chin sometime soon.
Anyone who had anything to do with organizing this thing.
Slops:
JP for playing bad decks.
Jeremy! Where’s my tiebreakers at?
Norm for playing Edict in his black deck and killing SlipperyBogle.
The God Hates **** people
http://loscuatroojos.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/03/god-hates-****.jpg