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spirit of the wretch
01-18-2010, 07:32 AM
Long time, no tournament report, so time to end this dry spell and bring you another epic tale of valor and chivalry, nerdiness and piracy. So gather around, grab some beer and listen to the story of everyones beloved Legacy team raiding Hassloch.
(On a completely unrelated note: I pondered whether or not to rig this report with a fancier title, but couldn't come up with anything remotely clever. Although „clawing into top8“ had its appeal =)
As usual, the story starts saturday evening at my place, with some mean 2HG highlander session (how damn good is Nicol Bolas, Planeswalker, btw?!?) till way into the night. Strangely, no beer was involved, which makes the story much less fun. So the next day comes, noone has slept nearly enough and noone is motivated to play Legacy. Yeah, every goddamn sunday...
We arrive at Hassloch early, I manage to talk Adan out of playing TES and into ANT, as we both agree it's the better deck (if you want to rage out about what a moron I am and how I don't have a clue about storm combo, please do it somewhere, where it doesn't bore me!) and I collect a beer from Florian. He bet a beer, that I wouldn't win the GPT with a cat.dec. Stupid thing to do, as the thought of free beer motivates me to overcome a lot of obstacles! Anyway, the tournament starts and here comes the usual list:


Manuel “DerHeiler” Heiler: Bgw Rock
Harald “Locutus” Herrlich: GBu Loam/Rock
Daniel “Adan” Scherer: ANT
Stefan "spirit of the wretch" Czolk: Cats


Yeah, I choose to pet the kittens again. It's a considerable amount of fun to beat people down with cats and then fry their face =)

Yet more lists:

"[SPOD] No Cats, No Glory"

Main:

4 Wooded Foothills
4 Bloodstained Mire
2 Windswept Heath
2 Arid MEsa
3 Plateau
2 Taiga
1 Mountain
1 Forest
2 Horizon Canopy

4 Tarmogoyf
4 Qasali Pridemage
4 Wild Nacatl
4 Steppe Lynx
4 Grim Lavamancer
2 Tin-Street Hooligan

4 Lightning Bolt
4 Chain Lightning
4 Rift Bolt
3 Fireblast
2 Umezawas Jitte

Board:

4 Tormods Crypt
4 Gaddock Teeg
4 Red Elemental Blast
1 Tin-Street Hooligan
1 Jötun Grunt
1 Krosan Grip

Thanks a lot to Clemens for the help with the SB! It really pays off to have a team member in Africa with an internet connection and a lot of free time to theorize and test on MWS.
The first beer is finishes and off we go: 61 players meaning 6 rounds.

Round 1 Nico with ANT
I really like playing Nico, he's a fun guy and a good player. But enough with the ass kissing and on to the evil burnings
Game 1: I win the roll and have a Lynx. He has USea, Top and I wonder what kind of deck he might be playing. I shrug it off and decide to follow plan C (… CATS) fetch, beat and drop another Lynx. Nico just has Tundra, go, making me feel a little warm inside. Then he chants me in my next upkeep... so much for the warmth. On his turn, I ask him if he has it and he just nods. Yeah, screw that! He chants me (I don't have any burn in response) and casts some redicolous, expensive instant, reveals some very cheap artifacts and instants and I start to drift off to fantasy land, where kittens play with balls of wool mutilate black magicians. Nico plays a Brainstorm, then a Mystical ans still has a Petal, a LED and a Top on the board, so the play should be obvious. But instead Nico hesitates, ponders, agonizes and scoops it up, showing me the Tendrils in his hand. After the resolved Brainstorm. God, how I love fantasy land!

SB: -4 Rift Bolt, -2x Jitte, -2x Tin-Street Hooligan, +4x REB, +4x Teeg

Game 2: I have Lynx, go, fetch, beat, Lynx, Lavamancer go and miss my third Fetchland (noooo, I let the cats down). He tops/ponders/does whatever combo mages do to set up big, ugly instants and can't seem to find much action. Doesn't help, that I blast his Mystical, I guess. On my fourth turn I draw the Fetch and the cats turn bestial (… see what I'm doing there). He tries to combo during his turn, but a Fireblast and the shotgun mage take him down, as he has to fetch down to 6.

1/0/0 2/0

Yeah, that MU really isn't that hard. I mean come on, just drop a bunch of cats and set fire to your opponent. And believe in the heart of cards cats. Also helps to be awesome, of course =)

Round 2 Raoul with Merfolk
HHHHHHAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEE... The fish again.
Game 1: Raoul wins the roll and keeps a one lander with 2 Vials. I too keep a one lander with 2 Qasali cats (I figured he would play Enchantress). He eventually does draw a second land. I don't. Yeah, screw this. There's nothing epic in the tale of „how I lost to the most annoying, overrated, pathetic tribe due to manascrew“, so let's move on!

SB:-2x Linx, -3x Fireblast, +4x REB, +1x Tin-Street Hooligan

Game 2: Knowing what I play against, I mulligan another one lander down to six. This game is truely ridicolous in the most extreme sense of that word: I draw a whole of 5 spells during this game (5! In words FIVE!!), while he has 4 (motherfucking 4!!!) Force of Will, so I manage to resolve exactly one spell. So imagine your playing my deck and you're allowed one spell to win the game, which one would it be? If you answered is either Goyf or Lavamancer, you haven't learned a thing. Go one, read my last report (http://www.mtgthesource.com/forums/showthread.php?t=16038), I'll wait here. And don't skip that lecture goddamit! So what is wrong about these two guys? While beeing perfectly fine creatures, they have the wrong subtype! The correct answer is of course: Lynx! Raoul declines to force that 0/1 cat and that cat decides to punish him hard for it. Five turns later he's dead. Gotta love the Lynx =)
Game 3: He has two Vials, two Forces (man really has a talent for drawing those!), a Daze and a Mutavault. You see what's missing? Yeah, the fish. The deck seems to suck even worse, if you don't draw any of those. The homarid/advisor delivers the beats, while I cleverly draw the counters with Hooligan and double Goyf to sneak a Qasali cat on the board. As usual cats > nomad/clerics and so it tears Raoul apart.
It's remarkable how I avoided any „feed to the fish“-puns. Yay, for my mad narrative skills.

2/0/0 4/1

Lunch break → meat and beer. These are the really appealing aspects of playing Legacy!

Round 3 Alexander with „Many“.Lands
I know what he's playing, know that he's a very skilled player and I know that there is a severe lack of PoP in my 75. That's gonna be fun...
Game 1: I make a cat, while he starts slightly less fair with Forest, Exploration, Bayou, Exploration, Maze. I knew this was going to be fun... NOT! He has Wastelands, Explosives and Tabernacles all over the place, but I have red cards. Of instant and sorcery nature. He decides to go the manly way and plays a Confidant who shows him a letal Intuition at his upkeep.
Wow, honestly didn't expect to win this! The good news is, it's going to get much harder from here on.

SB: -3x Fireblast, -2x Jitte, +4x Crypt, +1x Grunt

Game 2: This one is just brutal. I don't know what happens, but I know that I scooped about 4 turns into the game to a completly insurmountable board. I'd guess it involved an enchnment for G, a sorcery for 1G and a fuckton of mean lands, that don't tap for mana.
Game 3: I develop a board of Lynx and Lavamancer without a land while he has a whole lot of nothing (read multiple Crucibles withou relevant lands in the yard, an Exploration and a bunch of non-utility lands). I have 4 or 5 turns to draw a Fetchland (hell, any land would have won at that point) to beat/burn him out. I don't, and so I enter a worl of pain. Explosives/Crucible/Ghost Quarter/Chasm/Zuran Orb... and no cats to battle it. FUN.

2/1/0 5/3

Round 4 Harald with Bant Aggro
Game 1: I win the roll and make cats. He has Swords. I make a Goyf, he has a Sword (Surprise) and a Goyf of his own. And another one. And a gazillion of creatures with the word „Exalted“ in their textbox. I on the other hand keep drawing lands and those don't really do much against any of the aforementioned shitstorm. Damn, it sucks if non-red decks out-aggro you!

SB: -2x Tin Street Hooligan, -2x Rift Bolt

Game 2: This one is just pathetic. We trade blows in the beginning resulting in an empty board midgame. This is where we both start ye olde game of „suck, go“. For god knows how many turn we draw land (I end the game with my 7 fetchable lands in game and still Fetchlands left in hand), counter (which we trade over every halfway decend spell) and pretty much nothing else. Good thing is, his deck plays some dead tempo cards (Stifle, Daze), while deck is a deadly, fiery ball of fur (well in theory at least). So finally, he assembles a board of double Qasali cat, while I accumulate the critical mass of fire in my hand. Yeah, you can't beat me with cats! All your kitten are belong to me.
Game 3: I open the pretty strange hand of 2 lands, a Nacatl, a Chain Lightning and 3 (!!!) Rift Bolt... Lands? Check! Cats? Check! So no reason to mulligan, but still not a good hand in this MU, as the cats gets removed/outclassed and you don't win on the back of fire only. Harald however decides not to play the two Goyfs in his hand but rather to keep up countermana for my red spells (of which I've draw two more the next two turns... BURN Motherfucker =) so my cats gets in for some critical beats. By the time he finally decides to end the cat rampage, he actually is in reach for my burn. And so he does, what every good christian would: Burn in hell! And the lesson kids: If you can disable the cat, better do so, otherwise it will disable you.

3/1/0 7/4

Round 5 Adan with ANT
Adan's literally figuratively drooling, as he sees he's paired against me. Ranting on, how he will break the curse today, how he will defeat me and that he is without fear. How he's always dreamed of that moment and how he's a (tiny) errection right now. Ok, maybe it was a little less creepy, but sure as fuck not much. Everybody is looking at me for a reply, as I am known to really enjoy a good smack talk, but Mr. Cool that I am, I just state, that I'll let Adan do the talking. This way the humiliation will be much stronger. Enough of the hype, here comes the action!
Game 1: I win the roll and start with a Lynx. Adan duresses me, taking a Fireblast. I fetch beat and Adan goes nuts with IGG. Quick and dirty!

SB: -4 Rift Bolt, -2x Jitte, -2x Tin-Street Hooligan, +4x REB, +4x Teeg

Game 2: I start out with Nacatl, Teeg, Nacatl and Lynx. He isn't able to keep up or even remove the Teeg. Quick and dirty too, kind of in the nature of the MU. All hype followed by fast, anticlimatic ass rapes.
Game 3: Adan chooses to play and takes a mulligan. His mood is worsening rather rapidely. Then he takes another mulligan. By that time you're able to boil spaghetti on his forehead. I play a ton of cats (a Lynx and 2 Qasalis), while Adan's content with just dropping lands (ohmygod, if you just knew how big of a lie that was =). At 1 life (I haven't seen a single red spell until now) with three cards in hand, Adan goes for it: Cabal Ritual, Dark Ritual, Infernal Tutor into Infernal Tutor into Tendrils for 10. I topdeck the Chain Lightning, drop the Fetchland and kick him for exactely 11. Good times =) Oh, and also I'm awesome! Haven't mentioned that nearly enough to sufficiently stroke my e-penis.

4/1/0 9/5 (Cats 2 : 0 ANT)

God, this MU is a fucking cakewalk! Cats and Fire are a way better combo than vomiting instants can ever hope to be.

Round 6 Florian with Aggro Loam
Finally at table two again! This will be an epic tale full of highly questionable plays (on one side of the table) and cat beatdown (on the other side =). I'll just describe the situation as objective as I possibly can and let you figure out the bad plays by yourself. Have fun and let the scrubing beginn:
Game 1: I win the roll and lead with Canopy → Nacatl. Florian decides to go ahead and waste the land. („Bad-Play-Count“: 1) I fetch a Plateau and beat in, he has land go. I play my second Canopy and drop a Jitte. On his turn, Florian plays his second land and then cats Devastating Dreams for 3 (BPC: 2). I have two more lands and a Goyf, while he gets stuck on a single land (discarded the other one into the Dreams) and gets beaten down by an armed Goyf rather fast.

SB: -3x Fireblast, -2x Jitte, +4x Crypt, +1x Grunt

Game 2: I start out slowly, crypt his Loam and develop my board. On his fourth turn, the situation is the following: I have a Lavamancer, a Goyf, a Qasali cat and 3 land, one of which is untapped. Florian plays a Fetchland (his fourth land) and an EE on two. Then he fetches and tries to crack it (PBC: 3). Afterwards he plays a Goyf. I just attack with Goyf, play Nacatl, go. Now Florian has an EE and a Fetchalnd in the yard, while I have a Land, the Pridemage and a Crypt in mine, so he attacks with his 3/4 Goyf into my 3/3 cat (BPC: 4) and then play Devastating Dreams for 4 (his last hand cards). (BPC:5) After the dust clears, I'm left with a 4/5 Goyf and 4 cards in hand, while he has a single land and nothing else... Worst sequence of plays I've seen all day.

5/1/0 11/5

So because of my superior oppscore I finish in second place and take home a Tarmogoyf. The team standings, after 6 rounds:


Manuel “DerHeiler” Heiler: 4/2/0
Harald “Locutus” Herrlich: 3/3/0
Daniel “Adan” Scherer: 4/1/1 and 8th
Stefan "spirit of the wretch" Czolk: 5/1/0 and 2nd


The complete top8 breakdown can be found here (http://www.mtgthesource.com/forums/showthread.php?p=420245#post420245)

I think I'll just omit the usual props/slops section, I mean who gives a shit anyway? Just mad props to the organizer! Great job, as usual.
So next week is Mannheim and if I'm not to busy studying functional analysis for my exam the following monday, I'll be there.

Philipp2293
01-18-2010, 07:48 AM
Nice report, I may play the cats.deck mayself someday, you've won 2 times against Storm, is this a better MU for than for normal zoo? What would you say are the really bad MUs for your deck? Except Lands.deck.

Wargoos
01-18-2010, 07:56 AM
Most entertaining report, as always.
I really dig your list and will eventuallly copy it, being a mean copycat.
Your catdeck look so much better than my catdeck involing Leoniden HÖHLENWÄCHTER and bonesplitter and so on.

Don't you ever wish you had some pop's in your 75? I mean the deck seems to be good as is but I could imagine pop to help a lot with some less amusing mu's.

flrn
01-18-2010, 09:16 AM
Sad thing i wasnt paired against you to cast an Engineered Plague on cats. :(

eq.firemind
01-18-2010, 09:26 AM
Great report, spirit of the wretch!
I'll try Catzkrieg in MWS, it proves lots of fun to smash someone with kittens

spirit of the wretch
01-18-2010, 11:24 AM
Nice report, I may play the cats.deck mayself someday, you've won 2 times against Storm, is this a better MU for than for normal zoo?


The old crux with the nomenclature of Legacy decks. What exactly is a "normal" zoo deck for you? My deck ("my" sounds a little presumptuous as I didn't invent the archetype or anything, it's short for "my version of the Zoo/GoyfSligh/Naya/RGw Beats.dec") runs no Paths (obviously dead in the combo MU) or KotRs (too slow), but instead Fireblasts. Therefore I imagine the MU is better than the one of lists running those cards.


What would you say are the really bad MUs for your deck? Except Lands.deck.

All flavors of combo are still a pain, as are Loam-based strategies. Stax is obviously horrific. Other than that in my opinion the MUs are even or favorable.



Don't you ever wish you had some pop's in your 75? I mean the deck seems to be good as is but I could imagine pop to help a lot with some less amusing mu's.

As Loam in all its variations is indeed a difficult MU, I'll try to cramp 3 PoP into the SB. They seem to be worth the slot.

jazzykat
01-20-2010, 08:54 AM
Where are the pussy jokes?

All your cats (ahem...pussy) belong to us

badjuju
01-20-2010, 09:52 AM
My sympathies to Adan.

Bigface
01-20-2010, 10:03 AM
And this is how kittens slaughtered the filthy Combo decks. Nice work, and nice report.

Zach Tartell
01-20-2010, 11:12 AM
So, is this what happens when kittens masturbate?

Maagler
01-20-2010, 11:33 AM
So, is this what happens when kittens masturbate?

No, they go blind.