Again: The ability once activated is independant from its source. Your Spirit will be 3/1
By what I get from your argumentation, it really seems to come down onto the exact formulation that player A uses. If he would've said 'Do you mind if I crack fetch now while you're thinking?', he doesn't really suggest using it as a shortcut, does he? He's simply asking for priority to crack his fetch. The fact that he will play Grip in response to the activation without passing priority back is simply a smart (though, not really a nice) play.
Yes. Any way you ask that suggests you're fetching to save time (or even implying it, really) while the other guy makes a plan is suggesting a shortcut. You're basically suggesting that what you're doing won't effect the game state, and therefore won't change your opponent's line of thought. The standard here for declaring shenanigans and allowing the backing up is pretty low honestly. I think most bluffs that won't work on MTGO probably won't/shouldn't work in paper.
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