For Damage Stacking Industry, Recession Hits Especially Hard

[Julian23]

RATH - WHEN MOGG FANATIC entered the work force in 1997, he never dreamed that his entry-level job of attacking and blocking would blossom into so much more.

With the great boom in the damage stacking industry in 1999, he found himself in the same position as many others — riding a bubble that seemed that it would last forever. Damage stackers were in high demand. The future looked impossibly bright.

And then, the bottom fell out.

“You can’t get no work no more as no damage stacker. Nobody wants ‘em. You applies and applies, but the jobs just ain’t there,” Mogg Fanatic told The Magic Lampoon this week.

The damage stacking industry has nearly evaporated. A Magic Lampoon study says that as unemployment nears double digits, damage stackers have lost more than 700,000 jobs this year. An industry that was thriving as recently as January threatens to all but cease to exist by late July.

IT’S NOT AS IF Mogg Fanatic and others like him don’t have skills.

“I coulds still attack. I’m still a goblin. And you know when I gets blocked, I can still sack and deal one to a target. Any target. I’ve been doing this for nearly 12 years,” Mogg Fanatic said.

Indeed, as a qualified goblin, Mogg Fanatic is professionally trained in both attacking and blocking, and possesses a certificate from Mogg University. As a member of the Goblin Union, he’s licensed to pump goblin piledrivers or sack to seige-gang commanders. But it isn’t enough.

“I knows how to do both, you know? Gets in there and hits my blocker and also hit another target? But those jobs are gone. They say it’s the back of the binder for me,” Mogg Fanatic said.

With the demand for damage stackers gone, many employers are turning to other goblins. Piledrivers will still find work, experts say.

But unemployment claim figures show that many are in Mogg Fanatic’s position. Ravenous Baloth jobless claims rose sharply in June.

Mogg Fanatic isn’t sure how he’s going to feed his family.

“It’s me matron,” Mogg Fanatic said. “She don’t gots no health care. Without work, I can’t affords the Cobra payments.”

ALL MOGG FANATIC can hope now is that he gets drafted, he told The Magic Lampoon. A once highly sought damage stacker, he is now relegated to sitting in a queue, hoping he gets picked in a draft. And that’s assuming there’s a draft in which he’s allowed to participate.

“That’s me entire future now. Hoping I’m relevant in some draft somewheres. I haves to haves hope,” he said.

Source: http://www.magiclampoon.com/

[rockout]

Pure Awesome.

[Guevera59]

Golden

[xTrainx]

LOL. Amazing.

[ParkerLewis]

LOL. Amazing.

[yawg07]

I read this and showed it to my gf (who also plays legacy) and she laughed and then honestly felt bad for the little guy. "Poor Mogg Fanatic! He has to has hope" XD

[SomeRandomDude]

You made my day

[mujadaddy]

Well-written article.

gf (who also plays legacy)

This actually answers a question I had earlier today.

[pw709]

Haha, very nice and descriptive! :)

[Van Phanel]

@Julian: Nice find.

my gf (who also plays legacy)

Pics or it didn't happen.

[Michael Keller]

I actually laughed pretty hard.

[paK0]

You made my day

#

[GreenOne]

On the topic, this one was pretty good too.

[Aleksandr]

Bodacious!

EDIT: http://www.cmus.cz/dnn/%C4%8Cl%C3%A1...-pravidel.aspx