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Thread: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

  1. #1841

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Make Zoo Mildly Okay Again or at Least Make Punishing Maverick Playable

    Naya Rogue
    G
    Creature – Ape Rogue
    0/1
    T, Add R, G, W to your mana pool.
    Naya Rogue gets +2/+1 as long as you control a Plains.
    Naya Rogue can’t be blocked by creatures with power 1 or less as long as you control a Mountain.

    Alpha Lion
    WR
    Creature – Cat
    3/1
    As long as you control a Forest, creatures you control have Haste.
    Landfall – Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, this card gets +1/+1 and gains Trample until end of turn.

    Lead Huntress
    GR
    Creature – Cat Warrior
    2/2
    As long as you control a Plains, spells your opponents cast that target a creature you control cost 1 more to cast.
    Landfall – Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, target creature can’t block this turn.

    The Pride
    GW
    Creature – Cat
    1/3
    As The Pride enters the battlefield, name a land card. That land loses all abilities other than mana abilities.
    As long as you control a Mountian, The Pride has double strike.
    Landfall – Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, this card gets +1/+0 until end of turn.

    Mayael of Naya
    WGR
    3/4
    Legendary Creature – Elf Shaman
    As long as you control a Plains, other creatures you control get +1/+1.
    As long as you control a Mountain, creatures you control have haste.
    As long as you control a Forest, creatures you control have trample.

    Okada, The Rainmaker
    WGR
    Legendary Creature – Kithkin Soldier
    3/3
    First Strike
    Non-creature spells your opponents cast cost 1 more to cast.
    Whenever you or a permanent you control becomes the target of a spell or ability an opponent controls, Okada deals 2 damage to that player and each planeswalker they control.

    Naya Irrigationist
    WW
    2/3
    Creature – Cat Cleric
    If a land would be put into an opponent’s graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.
    Whenever a spell or ability an opponent controls would destroy a land you control, you may exile it. If you do, create a copy of that land.

    Usurper of the Pride
    RW
    2/1
    Creature – Cat
    Vigilance
    Landfall – Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on Alpha Lion.
    Whenever a Mountain enters the battlefield under your control, you may deal 1 damage to each Planeswalker an opponent controls.

    Another land design that is still strictly worse than dual lands, will never replace dual lands, but might be okay in a deck here or there:

    Godswood
    Land – Forest Plains
    TAP: Add G or W to your mana pool.
    Godswood enters the battlefield tapped unless it entered the battlefield from your library.

  2. #1842

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by NeckBird View Post
    Make Zoo Mildly Okay Again or at Least Make Punishing Maverick Playable

    Naya Rogue
    G
    Creature – Ape Rogue
    0/1
    T, Add R, G, W to your mana pool.
    Naya Rogue gets +2/+1 as long as you control a Plains.
    Naya Rogue can’t be blocked by creatures with power 1 or less as long as you control a Mountain.
    Reading this design, I thought, "wow, that is way too much text" but then I remembered they did print Deathrite Shaman at one point, and I think that card was mostly fine, so this one probably is totally fine.

    Actually, a lot of the cards you submitted didn't even seem that pushed relative to current legacy, and it really highlighted for me just how insane a dude would have to be to make Plateau good.

    Quote Originally Posted by DarthVicious View Post
    Neo-Taiga
    R/G
    Land - Mountain Forest

    Yeah, duals with a mana cost. That's it. They're not cast. It just adds a mana cost to your land drop. Can't enter play without being paid for.

    Who says we all have to come up with exotic rares and fancy cards?
    This is literally the same as comes into play tapped, except it's actually worse because you can at least play a tapland and accept its drawback. This one needs an entire other land to go with it.

    Quote Originally Posted by NeckBird View Post
    Godswood
    Land – Forest Plains
    TAP: Add G or W to your mana pool.
    Godswood enters the battlefield tapped unless it entered the battlefield from your library.
    The first time I read Darth's, I thought this is what he wanted. I think this land would probably not be playable, and I think that even if it were, it would exacerbate the fetch issue.

  3. #1843

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by taconaut View Post
    Reading this design, I thought, "wow, that is way too much text" but then I remembered they did print Deathrite Shaman at one point, and I think that card was mostly fine, so this one probably is totally fine.

    Actually, a lot of the cards you submitted didn't even seem that pushed relative to current legacy, and it really highlighted for me just how insane a dude would have to be to make Plateau good.
    After trying to design these cards, I've come to realize how difficult it would be to make Zoo, or really any proper aggro deck, even Tier 2 again. I think the only way to do it is just throw hatebear abilities onto already powerful aggro creatures.

    Turn this:

    Usurper of the Pride
    RW
    2/1
    Creature – Cat
    Vigilance
    Landfall – Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on Alpha Lion.
    Whenever a Mountain enters the battlefield under your control, you may deal 1 damage to each Planeswalker an opponent controls.

    Alpha Lion
    RW
    Creature – Cat
    3/1
    As long as you control a Forest, creatures you control have Haste.
    Landfall – Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, this card gets +1/+1 and gains Trample until end of turn.

    Into this:

    Usurper of the Pride
    RW
    2/1
    Creature – Cat
    Vigilance
    Players can't cast cards in graveyards.
    Landfall – Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, put a +1/+1 counter on Alpha Lion.
    Whenever a Mountain enters the battlefield under your control, you may deal 1 damage to each Planeswalker an opponent controls.

    Alpha Lion
    RW
    Creature – Cat
    3/1
    As long as you control a Forest, creatures you control have Haste.
    During your turn, your opponents can't cast spells or activate abilities of artifacts, creatures, or enchantments.
    Landfall – Whenever a land enters the battlefield under your control, this card gets +1/+1 and gains Trample until end of turn.

    The biggest issue with doing this is how inelegant it is. Like, just throwing random abilities on creatures just for the sake of it is pretty stupid. I just don't see any other way to make these kinds of color combinations playable.

  4. #1844
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by taconaut View Post
    This is literally the same as comes into play tapped, except it's actually worse because you can at least play a tapland and accept its drawback. This one needs an entire other land to go with it.
    How about straight up reprints that punish fetchlands?

    Neo-Taiga
    Land - Forest Mountain
    As Neo-Taiga enters play, tap all lands you control unless it was played from your hand.

  5. #1845

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    The Throne:

    When The Throne enters the battlefield you become the monarch.

    Assassin creatures gain "T: Target play who is the monarch gets a poison counter".

  6. #1846
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Sword of Industry
    Artifact - Equipment
    Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from artifacts and lands. This does not remove equipment.
    Whenever equipped creature deals combat damage to a player, destroy target nonland colorless permanent and return target land to owner's hand.
    Equip

  7. #1847

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I've been thinking of designs which are very similar to reserved list cards, but (I hope) sufficiently different so that they might not break the list's rules.

    Communism X2WW
    Enchantment
    Communism enters the battlefield with X+1 hammer counters on it.
    All creatures lose all abilities and have base power and toughness X/X, where X is the number of hammer counters on Communism.
    When Communism has no hammer counters on it, sacrifice it.

    Ghiblify 3W
    Sorcery
    Until end of turn, players may cast enchantment cards from their graveyard without paying their mana cost and as though they had flash.
    If an enchantment card would be put into a graveyard from anywhere this turn, exile that card instead.

    Loxodon Saint 2W
    Creature - Elephant Cleric
    You may cast Loxodon Saint as though it had flash if you pay 2 more to cast it.
    Creatures can’t attack or block.
    At the beginning of your upkeep, pay 2/W W or sacrifice Loxodon Saint.
    0/2

    Magic Made Real 3W
    Enchantment
    When Magic Made Real enters the battlefield, each other enchantment becomes a creature with power and toughness equal to its converted mana cost until Magic Made Real leaves the battlefield.
    Whenever another enchantment enters the battlefield, it becomes a creature with power and toughness equal to its converted mana cost until Magic Made Real leaves the battlefield.

    Bide your Time 2U
    Instant
    Target opponent takes an extra turn after this one.
    Draw four cards.

    Infuse Artifact UU
    Sorcery
    As an additional cost to cast Infuse Artifact, sacrifice an artifact.
    Search your library for an artifact card and put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle your library. That artifact gains Echo X, where X is the converted mana cost of that artifact minus the converted mana cost of the sacrificed artifact.

    Inspirited Corridors 3UU
    Enchantment
    Rather than pay the mana cost for a spell, its controller may exile a nonland card from their hand that shares a color with that spell or has the same number of colors. (That number can be zero.)

    Recall of Times Past U
    Instant - Ancestral
    Draw three cards. Exile Recall of Times Past, then you lose 20 life for each other Ancestral exiled card you own.

    Costly Tuition 2U
    Instant
    Search your library for three cards and reveal them. Each opponent simultaneously chooses one of those cards. You may put a card chosen most frequently this way into your hand, then put the rest into your graveyard and shuffle your library.

    Hell's Dungeons 1B
    Enchantment
    Players skip their draw step.
    If a player would draw a card, that player discards a card instead. If they do, they draw a card.
    At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, that player puts the top card of their library into their hand.

    Maralen's Bargain 4BB
    Enchantment
    You can’t draw cards.
    Pay 1 life: Put the top card of your library into your hand.

    Normists of the Void 3B
    Enchantment
    Spells cost 3 more to cast.
    Players may discard cards any time they could cast an instant.

    Vengeance from the Afterlife 1B
    Instant
    The next time a creature card is put into your graveyard from anywhere, return it to the battlefield. It gains haste. Exile it at the beginning of the next end step or if it would leave the battlefield.

    Age of Discovery 2GG
    Sorcery
    Each player may set aside any number of cards from their hand face-down. Then, each player reveals those cards and puts all permanent cards among them onto the battlefield.

    Grand Spirit of Solitude 2G
    Enchantment Creature - Spirit
    As long as you control three or fewer creatures, Grand Spirit of Solitude isn’t a creature.
    Players can cast spells and activate abilities only during their own turns.
    2/6

    Honey Pot G
    Enchantment - Aura
    Enchant player
    At the beginning of enchanted player’s upkeep, destroy the creature with the least power. If two or more creatures are tied for least power, you choose one of them.
    At the beginning of each end step, if no creatures are on the battlefield, sacrifice Honey Pot.

    Primeval Forest 2GG
    Enchantment
    Creature spells can be cast as though they had flash.
    If a player casts a creature spell and its converted mana cost is determined to be 3 or less, that player does not have to pay any costs for that spell.

    Bird's Eye Maple 0
    Artifact
    Discard your hand, sacrifice Bird’s Eye Maple: The next time target land you control is tapped for mana this turn, add three mana of any color it produced.

    Lotus of Times Past 0
    Artifact - Ancestral
    Sacrifice Lotus of Times Past: Add three mana of any one color.
    If Lotus of Times Past would leave the battlefield, exile it instead, then you lose 20 life for each other exiled Ancestral card you own.

    Mox Corundum 0
    Artifact
    As Mox Corundum enters the battlefield, discard a land card. If you do, choose a color.
    Discard a land card: Choose a new color.
    T: Add one mana of the color last chosen for Mox Corundum.

    Rod of Revisionism 2
    Artifact
    Abilities of historic permanents can’t be activated unless they’re planeswalkers.

    Tawnos's Key 3
    Artifact
    Affinity for basic lands
    X, T: Untap X target lands.

    Thran Monolith 2
    Artifact
    Thran Monolith enters the battlefield with a charge counter on it.
    T, Remove a charge counter from Thran Monolith: Add CCC.
    4: Put a charge counter on Thran Monolith.

    The Ecclesia at Laname Peak
    Legendary Land
    At the beginning of each player’s upkeep, for each creature that player controls, they pay 1 or sacrifice it.

  8. #1848

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Isn't Porphary Nodes the fixed version of Drop of Honey?

  9. #1849

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    All the cards I read just tonally break the "spirit of the reserve list" and thus are absolutely unrealistic. (not that I am for it)

  10. #1850

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Mad Mat View Post
    I've been thinking of designs which are very similar to reserved list cards, but (I hope) sufficiently different so that they might not break the list's rules.

    ...

    Infuse Artifact UU
    Sorcery
    As an additional cost to cast Infuse Artifact, sacrifice an artifact.
    Search your library for an artifact card and put it onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle your library. That artifact gains Echo X, where X is the converted mana cost of that artifact minus the converted mana cost of the sacrificed artifact.
    ...
    Because Tinker cost too much to cast the first time around? Duplicating reserved list cards means duplicating mistakes.

  11. #1851

    Ravnica really needs to introduce a 7th basic landtype.

    Wastes was a fairly pointless addition, however it set a precedent that new basic lands are not untenable.

    Casual table top magic players desperately need the following land...

    Ravnica Land - Basic Land
    Ravnica Land comes into play tapped
    Tap: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.


    As far as competitive play goes, this would not make any impact. Decades of experience demonstrated that comes into play tapped lands are a nonstarter in competitive gameplay, especially in a world where fetchlands and duallands exist.

    Where this would make a HUGE impact is casual/kitchen table play. The cost of manabases is insane. Its what makes magic so obscenely expensive, and its a barrier to the game that Wizards can and should address by printing a land like the above.

    This idea shares a lot with a similar suggestion posted in the MTG Arena community forum that was right on point:

    Name: Highland
    Type: Basic Land
    Text:
    Tap - Add one colorless mana.
    Tap - Add one mana of any color. You may use this ability only if your deck contains no more than a single copy of any card other than basic lands.



    This one card would instantly shake up the meta completely. Suddenly so many new unique varied strategies would make an appearance in standard, modern, legacy and vintage. It would add so much variety to the game that I'm blown away the Wizards already hasn't printed such a land.

    Of course, it should be a common, as widely available as wastes atleast, but lets think about how it would impact magic as a whole.
    You can play a traditional consistent deck with 4 opt, 4 fumigate, and 4 teferi for control, 4 bomat courier and 4 lightning strike and 4 goblin chainwhirler for aggro etc.

    Or you can forgeo consistency by playing only a single copy of each card, to be able to play cards of any color you want.

    Those decks become a lot less predictable, decks would feel more similar to draft decks, with tons of possible starting hands and variety of game play. No two games would feel the same.

    It would make deck building a lot more fun too. You can use the most powerful cards you have, regardless of color, but you only get to play one copy of them.

    You could play your brawl deck in standard, or your edh deck in legacy and not have an inconsistent manabase.”

  12. #1852

    Re: Ravnica really needs to introduce a 7th basic landtype.

    This is not a shitty card.

    Its a massive and significant addition to the game that would make Magic far more affordable for beginners and casual players everywhere.

    For the first time ever, You could play your brawl deck in standard, or your edh deck in legacy and not have an inconsistent manabase.

    Its well past time that Wizards do something about the ridiculous price of manabases.

    Its well past time that Wizards reduce the barrier for entry into EDH and Brawl largely due to ridiculous manabase costs.

  13. #1853

    Re: Ravnica really needs to introduce a 7th basic landtype.

    No you wouldnt need to call a judge when Higland gets played.

    Do players call a judge at the start of every brawl or EDH game? Do legacy players automatically assume their opponents are playing 5 Brainstorm and call the judge preemptively to check?

    If your opponent ever plays a second copy of a card they already played, thats when you call the judge.

    If your opponent never casts the same card twice, why would call a judge?

    The real question is, how many legacy players wish they could make a legacy legal EDH deck that doesnt automatically suck in legacy due to having a horribly inconsistent manabase?

  14. #1854

    Re: Ravnica really needs to introduce a 7th basic landtype.

    How can you introduce a seventh basic land type when there's no sixth?

  15. #1855

    Re: Ravnica really needs to introduce a 7th basic landtype.

    So I get to run a five color deck as long as my lands come into play tapped? There's already cards that do this for your greedy Mana. Prismatic omen, chromatic lantern for example. The game is better balanced when available deck can't simply"do everything". No Mary Sue lands, please.

  16. #1856

    Re: Ravnica really needs to introduce a 7th basic landtype.

    Its not a “mary sue” land. As far as competitive play goes, this would not make any impact. Decades of experience demonstrated that comes into play tapped lands are a nonstarter in competitive gameplay, especially in a world where fetchlands and duallands exist.

    It would see casual/kitchen table play. No one would bring Ravnica land to a tournament.

    Highland on the otherhand might possibly see competitive play (not likely but possible), but since it requires your whole deck to be build around it, and it forces you to forego consistency, thats a more than fair trade off.

    Quote Originally Posted by FourDogsinaHorseSuit View Post
    How can you introduce a seventh basic land type when there's no sixth?
    Wastes is a basic land. This land would be akin to Wastes

  17. #1857
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  18. #1858

    Re: Ravnica really needs to introduce a 7th basic landtype.

    Most of those lands are aweful which is why they barely see any play even in a casual environment.

    Either of the lands in the OP would be far better alternatives for casual players. Highland would be a huge get for casual players.

    Highland could actually potentially enable a whole new slew of competitive decks in legacy, its unlikely but possible. If it does enable some new legacy decks, that would be a welcome addition to the format.

    It would at the very least generate a ton of interest in magic and bring back some players who stopped playing due to surge in costs of manabases, which is good for the game.

    It would also make edh decks easily portable over to legacy, making for a significant Quality of Life improvement for EDH and Brawl players.

  19. #1859

    Re: Ravnica really needs to introduce a 7th basic landtype.

    I mean this could be fine as a normal non-basic land even though I think it's shitty design.

    But as a basic? how doesn't this break any rule about a "basic" land?

    It would also rende any non dual or fetchlands useless for casualplay, which I find super boring tbh

  20. #1860
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Merged with card creation thread. Whether you think it's "shitty" or not, this is where this type of discussion belongs.
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