Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[yankeedave]

Mogg Shit 1R

Creature - Goblin
Flash
When Mogg Shit comes into play, it deals 1 damage to target creature or player.
1/2

Stingscourger or Piledriver?

[raindrainxi]

Stingscourger or Piledriver?

Not entirely sure what you mean. :)

[SpikeyMikey]

Talic, Tide Lord
3UU
Mythic Rare
Planeswalker

+1: Draw a card, then discard a card.
-2: Untap all permanents you control.
-6: Each opponent gains an emblem with: "Permanents you control do not untap during your untap step."

[Aggro_zombies]

Talic, Tide Lord
3UU
Mythic Rare
Planeswalker

+1: Draw a card, then discard a card.
-2: Untap all permanents you control.
-6: Each opponent gains an emblem with: "Permanents you control do not untap during your untap step."

Please tell me this starts with one loyalty.

[EpicLevelCommoner]

Brainstorm Alternatives:

Share - :wm:
Instant
Each player draws five cards, then puts four cards from his or her hand on top of his or her library.

Scheme - :bm:
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Scheme, pay X life.
Draw X cards, then put X cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.
Draw a card.

Improvise - :rm:
Instant
Shuffle up to three cards from your hand into your library. Then, for each card shuffled into your library this way, draw a card.
Draw a card.

Adapt - :gm:
Instant
Draw a card for each land you control, then put a card from your hand on top of your library for each land you control.
Draw a card.

Probably borkedezfork

[SaberTooth]

unified wish


sorcery

destroy target reserved list, it can't be regenerated

[raikenxy]

designing my own planeswalker

currently cost is BBW
Loyalty:3

current abilities are

+1: Target creature gets -2/-2

-2: Exile Target creature from a graveyard, put two 1/1 white flying spirit tokens onto the battlefield.

Currently trying to figure out a good ultimate ability, the one i was originally working with was "-6: You get an emblem that says whenever a creature die's, you win the game" or something like that but i dont feel it interacts too well with the first two abilities and overall it just feels cheap. anyone have any thoughts?

[colo]

The +1 ability is crap, because it requires a target in order to activate.

[imnotbrown]

Haven't thought of a name
2 Phyrexian Red Mana
Sorcery
Deals 4 damage to target creature or player.

[bruizar]

Pitchfork
Instant
2RR
You may exile a red card from your hand instead of paying its mana cost. Copy target instant or sorcery spell, except that the copy is red. You may choose new targets for the copy.

"Pitchforks are better than Plowshares" - Greenfinger, Goblin Gardener

[rufus]

Force of Madness

You may exile a red card from your hand and pay 1 life to cast Force of Madness
from your hand.
A player, chosen at random, takes control of target spell. That player may choose
new targets for that spell.

[Shawon]

My interpretation of what Young Pyromancer should've been in M14. It has decent abilities that actually require some thinking without making the text too complicated for new players to understand. It also retains the flavor identity of being a Red card:

Young Pyromancer
Creature - Human Shaman (U)
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, put a 1/1 red Elemental creature token with haste onto the battlefield. Exile it at end of turn.
Whenever you cast an instant or sorcery spell, target creature can't block this turn.
2/1

EDIT:

Pitchfork
Instant
2RR
You may exile a red card from your hand instead of paying its mana cost. Copy target instant or sorcery spell, except that the copy is red. You may choose new targets for the copy.

"Pitchforks are better than Plowshares" - Greenfinger, Goblin Gardener

I hope exactly everything about this card gets printed. Especially the name and flavor text.

[Gheizen64]

Pitchfork
Instant
2RR
You may exile a red card from your hand instead of paying its mana cost. Copy target instant or sorcery spell, except that the copy is red. You may choose new targets for the copy.

"Pitchforks are better than Plowshares" - Greenfinger, Goblin Gardener

Too bad this card would be broken as shit in combo. WOOOOO

[Shawon]

A Chalice on legs, but can't feasibly be played for 0:

Man-Chalice XX (no mana symbol for 'X'? c'mon)
Artifact Creature
Man-Chalice comes into play with X +1/+1 counters.
Whenever a player casts a spell with converted mana cost equal to the number of +1/+1 counters on Man-Chalice, counter that spell.
0/0

[Gheizen64]

A Chalice on legs, but can't feasibly be played for 0:

Man-Chalice XX (no mana symbol for 'X'? c'mon)
Artifact Creature
Man-Chalice comes into play with X +1/+1 counters.
Whenever a player casts a spell with converted mana cost equal to the number of +1/+1 counters on Man-Chalice, counter that spell.
0/0

I love those creature-twists on prison pieces, because they are both more easy to remove but also better in multiples and have additional utility. Just too good man, like Thalia.

This was an idea of mine today, as a waste-alternative:

Valley of Ashes
Land
Valley of Ashes come into play tapped.
When a non-basic land would tap for mana, if Valley of Ashes is untapped, it give 1 colorless instead.
T: 1 colorless
It may have been a great civilization here, but now it's all ashes


Best non-basic hoser you'll ever see.
It also feel like something WotC could print as it doesn't actually "kill" lands but just hose decks very light on basics, while keeping most of utility lands still useful (waste is still active under this, likewise port, and Karakas can still bounce).
It seems broken but even if you play this T1, it's basically just asking them to fetch for basics all game long and this don't stop fetches, and this also does nothing the turn it comes into play. It also get "killed" by any Waste or Port.

Things this beauty hose:

- Gaea's Cradle
- Tolaria's Academy
- Every multi mana land, from Workshop to City of Traitors and Ancient tomb and Urzatrons
- All duals
- Most utility lands are somewhat worse

Could work also as a blood moon variant for red:

Rain of Ashes 2R
Enchantment
Whenever a non-basic land would tap for mana, it gives 1 colorless instead.

[(nameless one)]

I submitted this card at Card Creation League back at MTG Sal:

Skeleton Key

Legendary Artifact (mythic rare)

, :tap:, Sacrifice Skeleton Key: Each player simultaneously puts all cards from his or her hand onto the battlefield, sacrifices all permanents, exiles his or her library, shuffles his or her graveyard into his or her library and returns all exiled cards back to their owner's hand.

"It's the key that opens every possibility"

I wonder if this can see play in Legacy and Vintage? Will it be broken? Can Workshop decks actually abuse this? Can Vintage Slaver shell abuse this? (I am not asking to get this fixed)

[(nameless one)]

I had a dream that I made a Legacy GP finals with the help of this card:

Recycled Mox

Artifact

If Recycled Mox would enter the battlefield, you may discard an artifact card instead. If you do, put Recycled Mox onto the battlefield. If you don't, put it into its owner's graveyard.

:t:: Add to your mana pool.

Only to be Grapeshotted by Bryant Cook in game 3 after locking him out in game 2 with a turn one Chalice and turn two 3sphere.

[Bed Decks Palyer]

Wetland Guerillas

Creature - Human Bear Rebel

Protection from blue.
Black spells cost additional to cast.

_____________________________ 2/2

[Bed Decks Palyer]

A funny one I thought about yesterday:

Ultimate Cantrip

Sorcery

Scry 2, then draw a card.

Look at the top three cards of your library,
then put them back in any order.
You may shuffle your library.
Draw a card.

Draw three cards, then put two cards
from your hand on top of your library in any order.

"In resp to AdN sac LED for UUU."

[Gheizen64]

An idea for a fixed moxen.

Null Gem 0
Artifact
Counter all spells you control
T: add 1 mana of any color to your mana pool. If that mana is spent on a spell, that spell can't be countered.
An existence that accept only itself

This:
- sucks in multiples because it will get countered , but need no "legendary" clausole or shit
- hoses all your other 0 mana spells, so cast them before it if you can
- sucks in combo because you can cast only a spell each turn. Even in SnT, it's pretty bad if you show an Omniscience or a Griselbrand, and it disables free counters for protection
- has a pretty unique effect, and a simple templating
- it hoses counters to an extent
- it would probably go unplayed

Would such a card even be played? Maybe as a sol ring variant it would be less narrow, but i like how narrow it is right now. Can also be paired with can't be countered cards for less restrictions (Abrupt Decay yo). Cavern of souls for 5-c aggro decks too. Or just to play more than 1 spell each turn.