Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[PirateKing]

There's Humility doing a way better job if played without Moat.
+ sweet with manlands.

Humility might be better until your Tarmogoyf sits across from their Batterskull/TNN. Actually maybe the card should be green... vanilla beaters for life!

[Julian23]

I didn't say it'd be competitive, but having GOML and Moat on the table is pretty much the ultimate lock vs. creatures :p

It's called Blazing Archon and I've beaten it with Elves - in game1.

[ESG]

Add hexproof to that and we have a deal.

That said, I think it should mirror Relic of Progenitus more and cost to sac. Otherwise, it's basically a colorless 1 mana cantrip that shits on protection creatures.

Yeah, that's a fair point.

[TsumiBand]

Guidance Counselor
Creature - Spirit Advisor

Intimidate

Exile -this-: Exile all other creatures you control. Return them to the battlefield at the beginning of the next end step.

"Lord, it's a miracle! Man up and vanished like a fart in the wind...!" Warden Norton
2/2

[Vicar in a tutu]

So what happens if I cast a creature from any other zone, does it remain on the stack?

Good point. I'm not sure what the correct wording would be here, as my rules-fu is quite weak. Do you have a suggestion?

[Quasim0ff]

It's called Blazing Archon and I've beaten it with Elves - in game1.

Well, a reanimate does take it's toll on his/her own life and a death rite or 2 might make fast work in that case, I assume. :)

[Emo]

What about the wirewood symbiote for goblins to make that deck relevant again

Goblin Spark-starter
1R

Return a goblin to your hand: deal one damage to target creature or player, you may activate this ability only once a turn

2/1

eh?

[Barook]

Good point. I'm not sure what the correct wording would be here, as my rules-fu is quite weak. Do you have a suggestion?

Whenever a nontoken creature would enter the battlefield, if its mana cost wasn't paid, shuffe it into its owner's library instead.

Gets around casting stuff from other zones (EDH) and prevents the "in limbo" thing Julian mentioned. I chose shuffling back since green doesn't exile creatures like this.

[Vicar in a tutu]

Gets around casting stuff from other zones (EDH) and prevents the "in limbo" thing Julian mentioned. I chose shuffling back since green doesn't exile creatures like this.

Very cool. How about changing "mana cost" to "casting cost"? So that it reads like this: "Whenever a nontoken creature would enter the battlefield, if its casting cost wasn't paid, shuffe it into its owner's library instead." Would this be a relevant change? For example in the case of Hellspark Elemental: Would the burn player be able to Unearth it if Gaea's Hierophant reads "mana cost"? Any different from "casting cost"?

[TsumiBand]

Very cool. How about changing "mana cost" to "casting cost"? So that it reads like this: "Whenever a nontoken creature would enter the battlefield, if its casting cost wasn't paid, shuffe it into its owner's library instead." Would this be a relevant change? For example in the case of Hellspark Elemental: Would the burn player be able to Unearth it if Gaea's Hierophant reads "mana cost"? Any different from "casting cost"?

I have doubts about whether this can work.

To be sure, things check for costs having been paid all the time - spells like Nix certainly check the amount of mana spent on a spell, and the Bestow ability checks which cost was paid to determine what kind of spell it will be, *while* it is on the stack but before you pass priority.

But I also feel like this doesn't work intuitively 100% of the time. The first thing I can think of is Morph; a face-down creature spell on the stack doesn't have a mana cost to not pay. I'm not entirely sure what actually happens there; typically costs you can't pay prevent you from doing things - Platinum Emperion prevents a player from cracking fetchlands because they cannot pay the cost, and you cannot cast Evermind from your hand without being tricksy as it has no mana cost to pay. I'm inclined to think that Morph creatures are sort of auto-shuffled away by this, which I guess is not the literal worst thing in the world.

I'm also a little curious about what would happen to such creatures under a Trinisphere. Like, I'm not sure if the game would consider casting Noble Hierarch under a Trinisphere as " spent to pay the casting cost and spent to satisfy Trinisphere - the cost is paid" or " spent to cast the spell, which is not the mana cost - the cost is not paid".

[Vicar in a tutu]

I have doubts about whether this can work.

To be sure, things check for costs having been paid all the time - spells like Nix certainly check the amount of mana spent on a spell, and the Bestow ability checks which cost was paid to determine what kind of spell it will be, *while* it is on the stack but before you pass priority.

But I also feel like this doesn't work intuitively 100% of the time. The first thing I can think of is Morph; a face-down creature spell on the stack doesn't have a mana cost to not pay. I'm not entirely sure what actually happens there; typically costs you can't pay prevent you from doing things - Platinum Emperion prevents a player from cracking fetchlands because they cannot pay the cost, and you cannot cast Evermind from your hand without being tricksy as it has no mana cost to pay. I'm inclined to think that Morph creatures are sort of auto-shuffled away by this, which I guess is not the literal worst thing in the world.

I'm also a little curious about what would happen to such creatures under a Trinisphere. Like, I'm not sure if the game would consider casting Noble Hierarch under a Trinisphere as " spent to pay the casting cost and spent to satisfy Trinisphere - the cost is paid" or " spent to cast the spell, which is not the mana cost - the cost is not paid".

Good points. I'm not sure either what Trinisphere would do here, but I don't think it's bad if it goes one way or the other, I'm fine with Gaea's Hierophant having weird interactions. Grafdigger's Cage reads: Creature cards can't enter the battlefield from graveyards or libraries. Doesn't this mean that there is an opening in the rules for a card that does: "Whenever a nontoken creature would enter the battlefield, if its casting cost wasn't paid, shuffe it into its owner's library instead."?

[TsumiBand]

Good points. I'm not sure either what Trinisphere would do here, but I don't think it's bad if it goes one way or the other, I'm fine with Gaea's Hierophant having weird interactions. Grafdigger's Cage reads: Creature cards can't enter the battlefield from graveyards or libraries. Doesn't this mean that there is an opening in the rules for a card that does: "Whenever a nontoken creature would enter the battlefield, if its casting cost wasn't paid, shuffe it into its owner's library instead."?

I think Grafdigger's Cage is a good mention because it achieves a similar effect but with way different wording. It isn't so much about what the card aims to do, so much as how it aims to do it.

[Vicar in a tutu]

Necrotic Annihilation
Sorcery.
Pay 6 life: Destroy target permanent.

This might unnerve the color pie, but fuck it. Greatness at any cost.

[Vicar in a tutu]

Nature's Path

Instant.

Look at the top three cards of your library and put them back in any order. Then reveal the top card. If it's a creature or land card, put that card into your hand and gain 2 life.

Notes

Compared to Ponder, there are some advantages: Nature's Path is an instant (important). You can gain two life (narrow, but flavorful bonus). The card is put into your hand, not drawn (this works well with Spirit of the Labyrinth and similar hate). There are also several disadvantages: Nature's Path only cantrips if you find a creature or land (this puts some limits on deck contruction, if you want a full playset of Nature's Path, you can't fill your deck with artifacts, enchantments, planeswalkers, instants or sorceries). Nature's Path can only give you a creature or land (Ponder has no such in-built restrictions, the card draw happens no matter what). You have to reveal the top card of your library or the card that is put into your hand. Nature's Path cannot shuffle your library.

[TsumiBand]

Also one cannot place bad cards from hand into the deck to be shuffled away.
Honestly, seems fine. Green has more than a few "creature-or-land" draw spells already. Though they tend to favor putting the non-applicable cards in the graveyard or bottom of library. In fact if yours didn't stack the deck and just had the player reveal a card and tuck the rest, it'd definitely be printable.

[Vicar in a tutu]

Also one cannot place bad cards from hand into the deck to be shuffled away.
Honestly, seems fine. Green has more than a few "creature-or-land" draw spells already. Though they tend to favor putting the non-applicable cards in the graveyard or bottom of library. In fact if yours didn't stack the deck and just had the player reveal a card and tuck the rest, it'd definitely be printable.

I really don't understand why this card isn't printeable in a Commander / Planechase-product. It's not like green has never had library manipulation, with Sylvan Library and Natural Selection. Is the power-level of this card really higher than True-Name, Flusterstorm, Scavenging Ooze, et al?

[TsumiBand]

I didn't mean it quite like that. Either version is fine, just, one that tucks or mills the other two is even more printable (imho). I'd love to play the original in a non-Blue Sliver concoction, for example

[Bed Decks Palyer]

Knight of Karametra
Creature - Cleric Knight

When ~ etb, search your
library for a basic Plains or
basic Forest and put it otb tapped.
Shuffle your library afterwards.
________________________ 2/1



Deepwood Wanderer
Creature - Elf Mystic

When ~ etb, search target
player's library for a basic Forest,
put it otb tapped under his control.
Shuffle that library afterwards.
_________________________ 1/2



Vastplains Wanderer
Creature - Human Mystic

When ~ etb, search target
player's library for a basic Plains,
put it otb tapped under his control.
Shuffle that library afterwards.
_________________________ 1/2



Sythaeryn, Half-Elf
Creature - Human Elf Mystic

When ~ etb, search your library
for a Plains or Forest. Put it otb
tapped, then shuffle your library.
________________________ 2/2



I think my Kara.edh would be a bit better with cmc2 rampers.

[Vicar in a tutu]

Knight of Karametra
Creature - Cleric Knight

When ~ etb, search your
library for a basic Plains or
basic Forest and put it otb tapped.
Shuffle your library afterwards.
________________________ 2/1



Deepwood Wanderer
Creature - Elf Mystic

When ~ etb, search target
player's library for a basic Forest,
put it otb tapped under his control.
Shuffle that library afterwards.
_________________________ 1/2



Vastplains Wanderer
Creature - Human Mystic

When ~ etb, search target
player's library for a basic Plains,
put it otb tapped under his control.
Shuffle that library afterwards.
_________________________ 1/2



Sythaeryn, Half-Elf
Creature - Human Elf Mystic

When ~ etb, search your library
for a Plains or Forest. Put it otb
tapped, then shuffle your library.
________________________ 2/2



I think my Kara.edh would be a bit better with cmc2 rampers.

Strange that there are no cmc2 with etb-ramp. Is Wood Elves the best there is?

[Bed Decks Palyer]

Strange that there are no cmc2 with etb-ramp. Is Wood Elves the best there is?

I may be wrong, but I don't think there are any. If they'd be, I'd play them. :)
There is Dawntreader Elk and Diligent Farmhand that spread teh mana over two turns, yet they are worse versions of STE. Frontier Guide we cannot count, it's horribly slow. Greenseeker is playable in Madness, but that's about it. KotWO doesn't play well with Karametra; no Tithe effect would. Silverglade Pathfinder is worse Greenseeker with better frame. Veteran Explorer and Viridian Emissary need to die first. If they'd trigger on leaving, they'd be perfect for stampeding creatures, alas they work differently.