Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[Jain_Mor]

I'd like fewer games to be completely one-sided, so:

Sensei's Broken Toy
Artifact
, Sac ~: Scry 2, then draw a card.
, Sac ~: Exile target card in a graveyard.
, Sac ~: Return target spell or permanent to its owner's hand.

It used to spin for hours, but no longer.


A colorless Preordain to combat mana screw. A weak way to interact with just about any nonsense that your deck would normally just lose to.

I like it. I'd change the number arounds, but I like the intent.

Sensei's Broken Toy
Artifact
, Sac ~: Exile target card in a graveyard.
, Sac ~: Scry 2, then draw a card.
, Sac ~: Return target spell or permanent to its owner's hand.

[Pittplayer]

Just for funsies... what would a Yawgmoth Planeswalker look like? I will post my idea of one tonight... anyone else want to join in and we can see who's idea is the coolest/best?

[Nonex]

Æther Bauble
Artifact
When Æther Bauble enters the battlefield, you may draw a card.
Sacrifice Æther Bauble: You may discard any number of cards, counter any number of spells or other abilities you control, sacrifice any number of permanents, then you may exile any number of cards from your graveyard.

Chain of Fissures
Sorcery
Kicker (You may pay an additional as you cast this spell.)
Target player sacrifices a nonbasic land.
If Chain of Fissures was kicked, search your library for a card named Chain of Fissures and cast it without paying its mana cost. Then shuffle your library.

Pull from the Coffin
Sorcery
Choose a nonland card name, then put cards from the top of your library into your graveyard until a card with the chosen name is put into that graveyard this way. You lose life equal to that card's converted mana cost, then you may cast it without paying its mana cost.

Combat Wisdom
Enchantment
Flash
Creatures you control get +1/+2 and have first strike.
Whenever a creature dealt damage by a creature you control dies, you may draw a card.

[Pittplayer]

What do you think?

[rufus]

What do you think?

...

That -2 ability is grossly OP.

[Pittplayer]

Casting one card from your gy, paying life instead of mana.. is op? What line of play would break it? Entomb into Ad Nauseum, ritual ritual cast AN? After playing a 4 mana walker? I don't think it's op at all.

[rufus]

Casting one card from your gy, paying life instead of mana.. is op? What line of play would break it? Entomb into Ad Nauseum, ritual ritual cast AN? After playing a 4 mana walker? I don't think it's op at all.

Enter the Infinite or Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger come to mind, but I'm pretty sure there would be better choices.

[Pittplayer]

Again, paying 10 tp 12 life and getting the card in the graveyard to begin with, after paying 4 mana to cast the PW, is op to you? Why would you play this over show and tell if you want to play those cards? I think Yawgmoth is fine.

[ronco]

Maybe a gravehater:

Perpetual Agony BR
Enchantment
Whenever a card is put into a graveyard deal 1 damage to target player.

Not only gravehate for dredge, but makes a pinger deck out of wastelands, fetchlands, etc. Kill cards do a net 2 to the dome in general.
Yet, the whole thing dies to RiP.

I'd like this but as an enchant world type of card, where both players get to use its ability. Like:
Whenever a card is put into a graveyard, that cards owner may deal 1 damage to target player. Might need to adjust the cc though. 2 mana might be reasonable enough to put in a dredge deck for some shenanagins.

[PirateKing]

I was reading Byant Cook's TES Mailbox #10 and they asked him for custom cards he'd like to see and one he said was this

Thalia's Undoing

Sorcery
All creatures get -2/-2 until end of turn.

But that made me think of this

Taxes-in-General Undoing

Sorcery
Taxes-in-General Undoing is Black
All creatures get -X/-X until end of turn, where X is the mana spent on this spell.

Kills Thalia if she's on the board, and -3/-3 for 3 under Trinisphere isn't bad

[Nonex]

Æther Fuse
Instant
Counter target spell. If that spell is countered this way, destroy each permanent that produced mana that was spent to cast it.

Screeching Cobra
Creature - Snake
Noncreature, nonland permanents have "At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice this permanent unless you pay ."
Its hissing isn't audible, but it resonates within inorganic elements with such force that they can shatter in seconds.
4/4

Void Elemental <>
Creature - Elemental
Whenever Void Elemental becomes the target of a spell or ability, you may pay 1 life. If you do, exile Void Elemental, then return it to the battlefield under its owner's control.
<>: Exile Void Elemental. Return it to the battlefield under its owner's control at the beginning of the next end step.
It's hard to interact with something that doesn't exist.
1/1

Engineered Magnet XX
Artifact
Engineered Magnet enters the battlefield with X charge counters on it.
Whenever an artifact with converted mana cost equal to the number of charge counters on Engineered Magnet enters the battlefield under an opponent's control, gain control of that artifact.

Griselbrand's Amulet
Artifact
As Griselbrand's Amulet enters the battlefield, choose a nonland card name.
Spells with the chosen name cost an additional "pay 7 life" to cast.

[rufus]

Æther Fuse
Instant
Counter target spell. If that spell is countered this way, destroy each permanent that produced mana that was spent to cast it.

X-for-1 counterspell with land destruction. I guess Cryptic Command just wasn't good enough for you.

Engineered Magnet XX
Artifact
Engineered Magnet enters the battlefield with X charge counters on it.
Whenever an artifact with converted mana cost equal to the number of charge counters on Engineered Magnet enters the battlefield under an opponent's control, gain control of that artifact.

Automatic 4-of in Vintage, probably also in legacy. Lotus, moxen, LED, tormod's crypt, walking ballista, thopter tokens and some other stuff at 0, and plenty of good stuff at 1 and 2.

[Barook]

Would this be too good, interaction with Isochron Sceptre aside?

Draw Hate
Instant
Target player can't draw cards this turn. Exile Draw Hate.

You can either jam the natural draw phase of your opponent (to give it use outside of cantrip hating; I'm aware that's very strong and is sometimes a Time Walk) or counter a cantrip.

[maharis]

Would this be too good, interaction with Isochron Sceptre aside?

Draw Hate
Instant
Target player can't draw cards this turn. Exile Draw Hate.

You can either jam the natural draw phase of your opponent (to give it use outside of cantrip hating; I'm aware that's very strong and is sometimes a Time Walk) or counter a cantrip.

I think UBx plays this though. It's basically a 1-mana leovold that makes a pyromancer token (though at least it doesn't delve to Angler, very clever)

You want something like this

Rest in Drawing
1B
Enchantment
When Rest in Drawing enters the battlefield, each player exiles all cards from his or her hand.
If a player would draw a card other than the first card they draw in each of their draw phases, that player skips that draw instead.

That's also never going to happen but you need a hammer like RiP that doesn't synergize with the thing you're trying to hate on itself. Even then RIP gets played in Snapcaster decks and DRS decks occasionally so your mileage may vary.

[Nonex]

Some love for red.

Impetus
Sorcery
Search your library for a creature card with "This creature attacks each turn if able" and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.

Slave of Niv-Mizzet
Creature - Goblin Shaman
Whenever an instant or sorcery spell you control deals damage, draw a card.
: Slave of Niv-Mizzet gets +1/+0 until end of turn.
2/1

Forked Spark
Sorcery
Kicker - Sacrifice an untapped land.
Forked Spark deals 2 damage to target creature. If Forked Spark was kicked, it deals 2 damage to up to one other target creature. If the sacrificed land was a Forest, Forked Spark deals 3 damage to each of those creatures instead.

Frenetic Exploration
Sorcery
Choose a nonbasic land card name. Search your library for any number of permanent cards with the chosen name and put them onto the battlefield tapped. Then shuffle your library.

Revered Nomad
Creature - Human Advisor
At the beginning of your upkeep, reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a nonbasic land card. Put that card into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library in a random order.
2/1

[Kagehisa]

I would like an effect like this one :

Choose a legendary creature you control. It becomes your commander if it shares exactly the same color(s) identity of your commander.

[Rascalyote]

Some love for red.

Impetus
Sorcery
Search your library for a creature card with "This creature attacks each turn if able" and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.

Without looking up the other creatures, RR for ruric thar the unbowed from deck is busted

[DarthVicious]

Allied color swords:

Sword of Peace and Prosperity
Artifact - Equipment
Equip
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from white and blue.
Whenever it deals combat damage to a player, you may return an artifact and/or enchantment from your graveyard to your hand.

Sword of Rage and Fury
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from red and green.
Whenever it deals combat damage to a player, you may destroy target artifact and/or enchantment.

Sword of Pain and Suffering
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from black and red.
Whenever it deals combat damage to a player, that player sacrifices a land and you may put a -1/-1 counter on target creature.

Sword of Faith and Harmony
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from white and green.
Whenever it deals combat damage to a player, you may return a land from your graveyard to your hand and put a +1/+1 counter on target creature.

Sword of Deceit and Malice
Equipped creature gets +2/+2 and has protection from black and blue.
Whenever it deals combat damage to a player, you may return target creature that player controls to owners hand, then exile up to two target cards from that player's graveyard.


Ravage
Sorcery
Destroy target nonbasic land.

Solemn Caretaker
Creature - Human Cleric
Cards put into graveyards are exiled instead.
2/2

[taconaut]

Solemn Caretaker
WW, 2/2 Human Cleric
Cards put into graveyards are exiled instead.

Feels like it's only a matter of time before they print this, though we already have that one Anafenza, right?.

Also, seems like your blue black sword is considerably better than the others (though nothing new there for mtg amirite).

[Dice_Box]

Would this be too good, interaction with Isochron Sceptre aside?

Draw Hate
Instant
Target player can't draw cards this turn. Exile Draw Hate.

You can either jam the natural draw phase of your opponent (to give it use outside of cantrip hating; I'm aware that's very strong and is sometimes a Time Walk) or counter a cantrip.

I think it would be better if it read: Each player may only draw one card this turn.