Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[einhorn303]

What are some potential cards you'd like to see printed, purely by how they'd interact with old cards in Eternal formats?

For example, I wish WotC made a ridiculously huge, swingy Minotaur with a strong Sundering Titan or Nicol Bolas type ability that costs 8 or 9 CMC, just to make Digeridoo better.

Also, a land like:

Clanhome of Hans
Legendary Land
T: Add W to your mana pool.
T: Exile target Lhurgoyf.

[Humphrey]

Moxo Fizzle

Blue
Instant - Trap MR
Counter target Artifact Spell with CC1 or less.
"Its mythic because we need money"

[Float4WeldSlaver]

Aether Tether 2
Artifact
Permanents cannot be returned to their owner's hands.

I hate that no matter what hate you lay down, combo and/or control decks can just bounce it at your endstep and win next turn. This mostly applies to vintage.

[Nidd]

B.C.E.P.
CC1
Artifact Creature
B.C.E.P. can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.
Flying, Firststrike, Lifelink, Trample
5/6



This way, every deck has access to a broken creature.

[Humphrey]

B.C.E.P.
CC1
Artifact Creature
B.C.E.P. can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.
Flying, Firststrike, Lifelink, Trample
5/6



This way, every deck has access to a broken creature.

maybe 2020

Id prefer:

Hyperclone

Artifact Creature
You may have Hyperclone enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature on the battlefield.
0/0

[SilverGreen]

Amber Elemental 1G
Creature - Elemental
Amber Elemental can't be countered. (or Flash)
As Amber Elemental enters the battlefield, choose a color. Amber Elemental has protection from the chosen color.
2/1

Nacre Elemental 1W
Creature - Elemental
If an effect controlled by an opponente causes you to discard Nacre Elemental, return it from your graveyard to your hand.
As Nacre Elemental enters the battlefield, choose a card type. Nacre Elemental has protection from the chosen type.
2/1

[Digital Devil]

Keeper of Secrets ----
Creature - Human Advisor
, discard a Plains card: Draw a card.
"The land listens to all of our secrets, but only the enlightened can listen to those of the land itself"
2/2

[DownSyndromeKarl]

Enchantress' Citadel

Enchantment
Can't be countered. Shroud. Whenever a spell you play is countered, you may either gain 5 life or draw a card.

[Phoenix Ignition]

Clanhome of Hans
Legendary Land
T: Add W to your mana pool.
T: Exile target Lhurgoyf.

You know legacy has a degenerate card when the first thing I think of when I see this is "Holy shit, that card would be expensive!"

[Humphrey]

Leyline of Upwelling -
Enchantment
If Leyline of Upwelling is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
Mana pools don't empty as steps, phases, or turns end.

Goblin Fanatic
see below

[ykpon]

Draco Killer - 20
Artifact Creature - Human Assasin
When Draco Killer enters the battlefield, exile all creatures named Draco.
0/1

[Cire]

Goblin Fanatic
Creature - Goblin Hero
Sacrifice Goblin Fanatic: Goblin Fanatic deals 1 damage to target creature or player.
When Goblin Fanatic blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +1+0 until end of turn.
1/1

still cant block-->kill a dark confidant and ping an opponent.

How about

Goblin Fanatic
Creature - Goblin Hero
Sacrifice Goblin Fanatic: Goblin Fanatic deals 1 damage to target creature or player.
When Goblin Fanatic blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +1+0 until end of turn, if that creature has 1 toughness or less, instead sacrifice Goblin Fanatic and deal 1 damage to target creature or player.
1/1

[Zinch]

I swear for a fixed necropotence (my favourite card of all times (and I didn't use it in combo, I love Mono Black Control)). Maybe something like this:

Necropower BBB
Enchantment

You can only play one spell per turn
Pay 1 life: Draw a card. Use this ability only on your endstep phase.

[Humphrey]

still cant block-->kill a dark confidant and ping an opponent.

How about

Goblin Fanatic
Creature - Goblin Hero
Sacrifice Goblin Fanatic: Goblin Fanatic deals 1 damage to target creature or player.
When Goblin Fanatic blocks or becomes blocked by a creature, it gets +1+0 until end of turn, if that creature has 1 toughness or less, instead sacrifice Goblin Fanatic and deal 1 damage to target creature or player.
1/1

to complicated

got it:

Goblin Fanatic
Creature - Goblin Hero
When Goblin Fanatic blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +1+0 until end of turn. When Goblin Fanatic is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, it deals 1 damage to target player.
1/1

[Cire]

to complicated

got it:

Goblin Fanatic
Creature - Goblin Hero
When Goblin Fanatic blocks or becomes blocked, it gets +1+0 until end of turn. When Goblin Fanatic is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, it deals 1 damage to target player.
1/1

Yeah but then it can't ping in response to Humility or for example if the opponent has a DC your trying to kill, but is not attacking or blocking. And it can't block a 1/1 and kill off another 1/1....

[Nonex]

I hope my suggestions aren't too broken:

Sudden Unbalance
Instant
Destroy all artifacts and enchantments.
Cycling
When you cycle Sudden Unbalance, you may destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Ignorance
Creature - Incarnation
Shroud
Whenever a player reveals a card from his or her library, Ignorance deals 1 damage to that player.
2/2

Muscle Paralyzer
Artifact
Whenever a creature has power 4 or greater, its controller sacrifices it.

[TsumiBand]

I'm tragic at making Planeswalkers.

Stick the Unctuous 1ww

+1: Until your next turn, whenever a creature you control deals or is dealt combat damage, put that many +1/+1 counters on it at the end of that turn.
0: The owner of target nonland permanent shuffles it into their library, then draws a card.
-6: You gain an emblem with "Permanents you control have protection from the opponent of your choice".
3

sent from phone, don't be a dick

[apple713]

Gideon, harbinger of balance 1WW
Planeswalker - Gideon

+1: If you control fewer lands than any opponent, search your library for a plains card, reveal it and add it to your hand. Then shuffle your library.
-2: Exile target creature. Its controller may search his library for a basic land card and put it on the battlefield tapped. Then, that player shuffles his library.
-7: Basically, Balance.

Loyalty 3

The +1 would have to be any land not plains specific to be used

+1: Choose another target permanent. If it isn't a land, exile it. Return that card to the battlefield under its owner’s control at the beginning of your next upkeep.

Pretty sure this is vensurs ability or very close to it.

I'm tragic at making Planeswalkers.

Stick the Unctuous 1ww

+1: Until your next turn, whenever a creature you control deals or is dealt combat damage, put that many +1/+1 counters on it at the end of that turn.
0: The owner of target nonland permanent shuffles it into their library, then draws a card.
-6: You gain an emblem with "Permanents you control have protection from the opponent of your choice".
3

sent from phone, don't be a dick

+1 seems green like vigor almost
+0 is too powerful for infinate uses. Would have to be -1. Compare to jtms. I like the ability tho.
-6 is a very good white ability



Side note I mirrored jtms with white abilities. Totally not what the recent post was asking but i think it would be cool if we had more planes walkers with jtms' structure.

"Elspeth...the good one" - 2WW

+2: Until your next planeswalker activation, players cannot search their libraries or draw more than 1 card a turn.
-1: The owner of target nonland permanent shuffles it into their library, then draws a card.
0 : if you control less lands than opponent search your library for a land card and put it in your hand.
-12: You gain an emblem "as long as you control a non land permanent, your life total cannot be reduced below 1"
starting loyalty: 3

[Barook]

Pretty sure this is vensurs ability or very close to it.

I looked it up before posting, so not really: Venser, the Sojourner - he's limited to your own permanents and returns them EoT, not during your next upkeep. The abilities are different enough, kinda like the different "tap permanent + bonus" abilities.

[Bed Decks Palyer]

Plainswalkers are boring.

Sylvan Enforcer

I know what we're missing:


Ursine Hierophant
Creature — Human Bear Druid

Tap: Add to your mana pool.

Threshold — Ursine Hierophant gets
+2/+2 and has Islandwalk as long as seven
or more cards are in your graveyard.

____________________________ 2/2




Honey Badger
Creature - Badger

Double strike

Threshold — Honey Badger gets
+1/+1 and has "Cards in graveyards
cannot be exiled" as long as seven
or more cards are in your graveyard.

"Honey badger don't... you know."

____________________________ 1/1




Am I doing it right?