I got two!
Fight Bear
GG
Creature- Bear
When Fight Bear enters the battlefield, Fight Bear fights target an opponent controls.
2/3
Or
Super Fight Bear
2GG
Legendary Creature- Bear
2G: Super Fight Bear fights target creature and opponent controls.
5/5
I want the first one more, but either would be amazing.
"eggs... why'd it have to be eggs"
Yeah, that's reasonable with cards like Burning Inquiry or Winds of Change.
And I would savor the taste of their tears.
In the long run a card like that would either force people to snap counter it, change their deckbuilding practices with regards to mana curve, or just cause them to straight up lose. When I first typed it up I forgot to include the nonland clause...
That's what you meant to say, right? I understand where you're coming from, but this is an homage to Cabal Therapy, updated to punish people for greedy deckbuilding. Notice also that I removed the flashback. One of these days I'll think of something (more ruthless than Ravage anyway) to punish decks for using greedy manabases.
So it ignores DRS, yay, still single handedly destroys just about every other opening in the format. No Brainstorm, no Ponder, no Dark Ritual, Exploration, Gamble, Duress, Thoughtseize, Pithing Needle... So on.
Decks it arse fucks with no effort:
Turbo
Miracles
Storm
Lands
Infect
Blade
Delver (If they don't have a threat in hand)
4c
The only decks I see it doesn't just bend over are Elves and DnT. Good card in Elves.
Sure. No deck runs Chalice risk free either, you fuck up yourself in deck building to run it. Don't make it a good card for the format writ large. I mean I like Chalice, I think it does some good work, but that doesn't take away the shitty situations it causes. This is the same.
Personally I'd like to see it. Run a black Stax deck where most of the cards are cmc 3 and you can use it on 1 and 2 with impunity. Not a good deck, but enough of a dickhead thing to do it's in my wheelhouse.
People say fetchlands are the real problem in legacy, facilitating crazily greedy manabases and breaking cards like brainstorm and deathrite shaman, while being not very sensitive to any nonbasic hate other than stifle. So, why not print more fetchland hate?
Smite the Perverted W
Instant
Counter target spell or activated ability if life was paid to cast or activate it.
Randomly also hits force of will and phyrexian mana spells. But not like they didn't have it coming.
Wall of Suppression W
Creature - Wall
Defender
Activated abilities cost 1 more to activate unless they’re mana abilities.
0/4
Spiked Force U
Instant
Gain control of target activated ability unless its controller pays 1. You may choose new targets for that ability if you gain control of it this way.
This might be too powerful, but gaining control of an ability seems rarely that more powerful than changing a target (like Divert). Fetches and wasteland seem the most prominent exception.
Barren Mindscapes BB
Sorcery
Target player reveals his or her hand and discards all land cards from it with activated abilities that aren’t mana abilities.
Super hymn, but only if your manabase is too fetch-heavy.
Rile the Paupers BB
Sorcery
Each player sacrifices a land that entered the battlefield since your last turn ended.
Imitate H/R
Instant
Copy target instant spell or activated ability you don’t control. (You may not choose new targets for the copy.)
There are not that many powerful instants and activated abilities around without a target or a target that doesn't matter much. There's brainstorm, predict, fetches... crop rotation? You can ruin the extraction part of a surgical?
Practical Joke R
Instant
The next time target opponent would search his or her library this turn, you search that player’s library for a card instead and put it into his or her hand. Then that player shuffles his or her library.
Scry 1, then fateseal 1.
Frontier Strike G
Instant
Counter target activated ability from a land if you don’t control a nonbasic land.
Draw a card.
Primal Moon GG
Enchantment
Activated abilities of lands can’t be activated unless they’re mana abilities.
Rootbind 1G
Instant
You may return a forest you control to its owner’s hand rather than pay Rootbind’s mana cost.
Counter target activated ability.
Sudden Crater RG
Sorcery
Split second
Destroy target land if it has an activated ability that isn’t a mana ability.
Quester's Moon R/GR/G
Enchantment
Nonbasic lands are Treasures (Colorless Treasure artifacts with “T, Sacrifice this artifact: Add one mana of any color.”).
Tap three untapped creatures you control, discard three cards, pay 3 life: Take an extra turn after this one. Exile Quester’s Moon. Any player may activate this ability.
Bottle of Doldrums 1
Artifact
Whenever you search your library, tap Bottle of Doldrums.
T, Sacrifice Bottle of Doldrums: Players can’t search libraries this turn.
How about a land that is to protection what Detection Tower and Arcane Lighthouse were to Hexproof and Shroud.
How does it ruin the flavor? Crack fetchland - Surprise, you found your swords to plowshares! etc.
Killing Fields.
Tap: colorless
Tap: All creatures and opponents lose all protection abilities, and cannot gain protection abilities, until the end of combat this turn.
I think it's funnier this way, but it should be pointed out that "can't search at all" effects that replace themselves only cost two Mana so having one cost one isn't really that novel. But if you wanted it could be like "If an opponent would search for one or more cards you may search for those cards instead. Then, if you did not find any cards your opponent may search their library for those cards. Either way, your opponent shuffles their library." It's a little wordy but I'm pretty sure by changing a card to those (that) card you can carry over the restrictions of the original search. It's Magic, everything is an ad hoc Oracle ruling away. Then there's the second search clause so if you get cute and fail, then they'll search again. It doesn't really work against searches that could find multiple cards since finding one would prevent your opponent from finding two but meh. Corner case.
There's a few clunky ways to do that (e.g. a library reveal like Guided Passage or a 'you lose the game' clause if you fail to find), but I don't like them very much. This way it's clean and actually does something relevant against fetches or other specific tutors like stoneforge mystic.
I had a cycle of one-color filter lands once, and the black one hated on protection:
Sheltering Dunes
Land
1, T: Add WW.
All creatures get +0/+1.
Foggy Crossing
Land
1, T: Add UU.
Whenever a creature becomes a target of a spell or ability, counter that spell or ability unless its controller pays 1.
Pit of Decay
Land
1, T: Add BB.
All creatures lose and can’t have or gain protection. They can’t be regenerated.
Circle of Passage
Land
1, T: Add RR.
Damage can’t be prevented.
Overgrown Battlefield
Land
1, T: Add GG.
Players can’t cast spells or activate abilities during combat.
Wanted to make some cards that incentivized playing a tempo deck without Delver. Make standstill great again!
Mercurial Drake U
Creature - Drake
Flying
Sacrifice ~: counter target spell unless its controller pays .
1/1
Some might say its power is fleeting, others say it's creeping
Flailing Scholar U
Creature - Human Wizard
Sacrifice ~: return target creature to its owner's hand.
1/1
His professors at the Academy predicted his expulsion
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