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Thread: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

  1. #861
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Vicar in a tutu View Post
    No Pain, No Gain
    Enchantment
    Players cannot gain life.
    Players cannot pay life.
    Interesting card, brainstormed some stuff that it shuts down:

    Griselbrand
    Force of Will
    Batterskull/Jitte/Ooze/Deathrite lifegain
    Punishing Fire/Grove
    Fetchlands
    Necropotence (!)

    And stuff it makes worse:

    Shocklands
    Dismember
    Gitaxian Probe
    Sylvan Library
    Lim-Dul's Vault


    Neuters all fetchlands and FOWs for only two mana? Seems good.


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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Here are a few more cards. Goblin Cursechanter could easily see print in a core set, I think. (And still have obvious legacy-implications.)

    Warden of the Hidden Path
    Legendary Creature - Minotaur monk.
    Sacrifice Warden of the Hidden Path: Target player cannot search his or her library this turn.
    Legendary Landfall - Whenever a legendary land enters the battlefield under your control, you may draw a card.
    3/3.

    Goblin Cursechanter 1
    Creature - Goblin.
    Blue creatures get -1/-1.
    2/1.

    Leyline of Envy 2
    Enchantment.
    Legendary permanents cannot enter the battlefield.

    Ravage the Realms
    Sorcery.
    Destroy target basic land and target nonbasic land.

  3. #863
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Blakroc View Post
    Interesting card, brainstormed some stuff that it shuts down:

    Griselbrand
    Force of Will
    Batterskull/Jitte/Ooze/Deathrite lifegain
    Punishing Fire/Grove
    Fetchlands
    Necropotence (!)

    And stuff it makes worse:

    Shocklands
    Dismember
    Gitaxian Probe
    Sylvan Library
    Lim-Dul's Vault


    Neuters all fetchlands and FOWs for only two mana? Seems good.
    How does this work Thoughtseize?

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Vicar in a tutu View Post
    How does this work Thoughtseize?
    Thoughtseize - you would still lose the life since it's part of the effect, not of the cost.

    I like the enchantment alot - simple, effective, flavorful, elegant.

    Too bad Wizards would overcost it to make it unplayable jank because jamming fetchlands at a reasonable cost is bad.

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Barook View Post
    Thoughtseize - you would still lose the life since it's part of the effect, not of the cost.

    I like the enchantment alot - simple, effective, flavorful, elegant.

    Too bad Wizards would overcost it to make it unplayable jank because jamming fetchlands at a reasonable cost is bad.
    I think there is a chance that Wizards could print a card like this at . First, it might not affect the current standard environment much (though it does shut down Mana Confluence). Second, it would obviously not break limited. Also, Modern already has Blood Moon and this sets a kind of precedence. Why shouldn't Wizards let a card hose fetchlands? The effect is symmetrical, after all. You are not going to get much going with your own fetches after you play No Pain, No Gain, and its not like the enchantment is good in numbers.

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ravage the Realms is yet another card that would never see print becasue of WotC's policy on LD. However, it would be nice addition for Pox and similar decks.

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Museion, Abode of the Gods
    Legendary enchantment land
    All your permanents are enchantments.
    T: Add one colorless mana to your manapool.

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Someone told me Green deserves hatebears, so.

    Dreadie Mercury
    Creature - Human Snake Advisor

    Each player's maximum hand size is equal to the toughness of the creature they control with the largest toughness.

    ==OR==

    Players can't draw cards during other player's turns.
    Each player can't draw more cards than the greatest toughness among creatures they control.

    "My snakes show little interest in those which clearly do not partake liberally of the feast."
    1/4


    I have no idea.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

  9. #869

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Try, "Each player's maximum hand size is equal to the highest toughness amongst creatures he or she controls."

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Conan, the Barbarian
    Legendary Creature - Human Cimmerian Barbar

    First Strike
    Resist Magic (whenever a first spell this turn is cast that targets ~,
    exile that spell)

    When ~ etb, search you library for a legendary
    equipment with a Sword subtype and attach it
    to Conan.
    ___________________________________ 3/4




    Subotai, the Warrior
    Legendary Creature - Human Hyrkanian Warrior

    Plainswalk
    : Regenerate Subotai

    Whenever ~ deals combat dmg, search your library for
    one Bird creature, Horse creature, Wolf creature or Camel creature
    card per each opponent.
    Put that cards into play, then shuffle your library.
    ___________________________________ 2/3




    Valeria, the Thief
    Legendary Creature - Human Atlantean Rogue

    Shroud, Reach

    Tap: gain control of target non-creature Artifact until end of turn.
    If it's name starts with "Mox", instead gain control of it for the rest
    of game and untap Valeria.
    _____________________________________ 2/3

  11. #871
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I read Conan the Barbarian's creature type and I was like "why is he a Cinnamon Bear"

    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TsumiBand View Post
    I read Conan the Barbarian's creature type and I was like "why is he a Cinnamon Bear"

    That's because he's not vanilla.


  13. #873
    bruizar
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Vicar in a tutu View Post
    Here are a few more cards. Goblin Cursechanter could easily see print in a core set, I think. (And still have obvious legacy-implications.)

    Goblin Cursechanter 1
    Creature - Goblin.
    Blue creatures get -1/-1.
    2/1.
    Sleight of Mind sideboard tech for merfolk!

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by bruizar View Post
    Sleight of Mind sideboard tech for merfolk!
    Haha, awesome!

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Don't know if something like this have been posted yet, but I like the idea. I think it could really help red in Legacy

    Redsdirection
    You may exile a red card from your hand rather than paying Redsdirection mana cost.
    Change the target of target spell or ability with a single target.

  16. #876
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    This is all I want...

    Goblin Crusher

    When ~ ETB, destroy target noncreature artifact.

    2/1


    Fuck Manic Vandal.
    "Don't mess with me, lady. I've been drinking with skeletons."

    I write articles about Legacy Death and Taxes. Check them out.

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ruin That Shit
    Instant

    Put a char counter on target nonland permanent. As long as it has a char counter, it loses all abilities and gains "Whenever damage is dealt to this permanent, destroy it. It can't be regenerated."

    "So then I was all 'fuck it' and I just burned it until it quit pissing me off." - Jaya, to Chandra
    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by TsumiBand View Post
    Ruin That Shit
    Instant

    Choose a nonland permanent and put a char counter on it. As long as it has a char counter, it loses all abilities and gains "Whenever damage is dealt to this permanent, destroy it. It can't be regenerated."

    "So then I was all 'fuck it' and I just burned it until it quit pissing me off." - Jaya, to Chandra
    Fixed.

  19. #879
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    One thing I've wanted to see more of is hybrid cards that 'change color' if certain mana is or is not spent to cast them like Firespout etc. Only instead of enabling it by colors spent, reward the player for sticking with one color of mana. I think this would give players the "split card creature" thing that gets asked about from time to time but can't really happen under the rules of split cards.

    Meaty Lightning

    Creature - Ape Elemental

    Trample, haste
    Modal - If only was spent to cast this, it gets +1/-1 and "at end of turn, sacrifice -this-".
    If only was spent to cast this, it ETB with a +1/+1 counter and loses haste.
    2/2

    etc, etc, etc.

    Trouble is, I'm not the best designer in the world and I have trouble creating cards that aren't sucky when you pay both, and ideally the goal would be to let the card not be completely terrible if you go the hybrid route. Like if it were an RPG the monocolored variants would be pure builds and paying both costs would be a 'red mage' or a 'multiclass' or whatever. I dunno.

    I like the idea of rewarding mono-colored casting outside the notion of powering up spells with a hard triple or quadruple single color requirement, though. Those spells trend towards unplayable, even in Eternal formats with fetchlands and 100 different variants of mana fixing no one wants to pay for anything.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I like that idea. It would definitely help monocolored decks, while making the cards interesting enough for the two-or-threecolored decks, no matter if we speak of 60-rcards deck or about Limited environment. I'm afraid those cards might be a bit more complex than necessary, otoh, MtG community can survive quite some complexty, and as long as you'd make the (un)common ones quite easy, like for example...

    Badass-Name Brownie
    Creature - Elemental Ouphie

    If only red was spent to cast ~, it has haste.
    If only green was spent to cast ~, it has trample.
    __________________________________ 3/3


    ...which shouldn't be hard to understand even by a usual FNM boy.

    One thing I'm afraid of is that just like with any other idea, WotC may overdo it. And imagine a three- or four-colored creature with loads of modes to choose from... Also, it's quite possible that instead of mono- or double-colored decks, it'll be 5c piles that would profit the most, as they might choose whichever the mode they'd need the most under the particular circumstances.

    However you're right that (esp. considering Eternal) it's pretty hard to make a powerful and playable yet singlecolor card, unless we think of stuff like Moon (and the appropriate mono-R deck) or maybe some tribal aggro/prison. moreover, being monocolored is limiting, while multicolored/hybrid stuff may end in more decks and thus is inherently more diverse.

    I like the idea.

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