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Thread: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

  1. #901
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Nonex View Post
    Forgetful Peasant (Uncommon)
    Creature - Human
    Put a card from your hand on top of your library: Put a memory counter on Forgetful Peasant.
    Remove a memory counter from Forgetful Peasant: Draw a card.
    1/1

    The casual, flavor-loving nerd inside me prefers a single ability with just the first cost and the second effect, but the Johnny inside me would rather cast this one in tournaments.
    If it was (tap) instead of just adding/removing counters, I think this would be fair.

  2. #902

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Lightning geist - 1RW

    Flying.
    First strike.

    4/3

  3. #903
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    My invitational card? Hmm ... something that could fit into either Nic Fit or Loam Pox (I'm a BG Control Junkie).

    Something like this:

    ~ - (B/G) (B/G)
    Creature - Zombie Shaman
    When ~ enters the battlefield, draw a card unless an opponent discards a card.
    When ~ dies, return target creature card with converted mana cost 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.
    1/1

  4. #904
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ravage
    RR
    Sorcery
    Destroy target nonbasic land.

  5. #905

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by DarthVicious View Post
    Ravage
    RR
    Sorcery
    Destroy target nonbasic land.
    Change it to "gain control of target nonbasic land"
    :)

  6. #906

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by miguelmatix View Post
    Change it to "gain control of target nonbasic land"
    :)
    Make it , and call it Return to Nature, and the original flavor fits.

  7. #907

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    ~


    Artifact


    9


    Indestructible

    Cards with "protection" in their rules text lose protection from everything.
    Each time an opponent draws a card, you may draw a card. Each time an opponent searches his/her library for a card, you may search your library for a card of the same type.


    The first time an opponent would gain priority during his/her turn, you gain priority first.


    Permanents and players with hexproof or shroud lose those abilities. If a permanent with hexproof or shroud would enter the battlefield, it is exiled instead.


    If ~ leaves play, you lose half your life, rounded up.

  8. #908

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    RRR - ruby visions

    Instant

    "You may sacrifice one mountain instead of pay Ruby Visions mana cost"
    "Until end of turn, all cards in play and all cards that aren't in play are red"

  9. #909
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Some more stuff from Conspiracy:


    Troll Hammer
    Limited Sorcery - Mirrodin block

    As the draft starts, you may
    search your binder for a card
    named Troll Ascetic and a card
    named Loxodon Warhammer.
    Put those cards into your deck.



    Alpha Strike
    Sorcery

    You may cast Alpha Strike
    only before blockers are declared.
    Stand up from your chair as you're
    declaring the attackers this turn.

    If a spell or effect gives you an additional
    attack phase this turn, you may
    stand up once again.

    All creatures you control must attack this turn.
    Attacking creatures with vigilance are tapped
    as though they don't have vigilance.

  10. #910
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    EpicLevelCommoner's Avatar
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Bed Decks Palyer View Post
    Alpha Strike
    Sorcery

    You may cast Alpha Strike
    only before blockers are declared.
    Stand up from your chair as you're
    declaring the attackers this turn.

    If a spell or effect gives you an additional
    attack phase this turn, you may
    stand up once again.

    All creatures you control must attack this turn.
    Attacking creatures with vigilance are tapped
    as though they don't have vigilance.
    Rules of Nature -
    Instant
    Prevent all combat damage that would be dealt this turn. If your opponent cast a spell named 'Alpha Strike' and is standing, that opponent ragequits instead.
    "The hell did you think was gonna happen!?"

  11. #911
    Hamburglar Hlelpler
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Low Overhead


    Instant
    Standing players lose the game.

    "Hey! I found my sideboard!" - Me (meaning 'you')

    sent from phone, don't be a dick
    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

  12. #912

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Barook View Post
    Complete discard protection AND being Brainstorm-level of stupid with shuffle effects? For 1 mana?

    No, just no.
    Not as relevant, but Miracles could benefit...
    Legacy decks-
    MUD

    "Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should fight everything with fire."

    "You can build a perfect machine out of imperfect parts."

  13. #913
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Here's a try on a sweeper-resilient/removal-resilient beater which also rewards your deck with an exile theme:

    King of Exile
    Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
    First Strike
    You may cast King of Exile from exile.
    When King of Exile would leave the battlefield or is put into a graveyard from anywhere, exile it instead.
    At the beginning of each upkeep, if a card was exiled last turn, put a +1/+1-counter on King of Exile.
    Counters remain on King of Exile as it moves to any zone other than a player’s hand or library.
    2/2

    Maybe there's another way to make it counter-resistant without breaking the color pie, simply because blue shouldn't have the best answers against it (like it always does against everything else). The synergy between the self-exile and growing is intentional - basically, he gets beaten, goes back into exile and comes back stronger. Everthing else that gets exiled are tools to make him stronger as well.

    You still need to recast him every time when your opponent gets rid of him. Karakas can also deal with him, as do -1/-1-counters, so I think the recycling ability, while annoying, isn't completely broken.

  14. #914
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    How about a cantrip cycle of stack interaction for every color?

    W - Instant
    While this spell is on the stack, and for the rest of this turn, triggered abilities of enchantments can't trigger.
    Draw a card.

    U - Instant
    While this spell is on the stack, and for the rest of this turn, triggered abilities of artifacts can't trigger.
    Draw a card.

    B - Instant
    While this spell is on the stack, and for the rest of this turn, triggered abilities of cards in graveyards can't trigger.
    Draw a card.

    R - Instant
    While this spell is on the stack, and for the rest of this turn, triggered abilities of lands can't trigger.
    Draw a card.

    G - Instant
    While this spell is on the stack, and for the rest of this turn, triggered abilities of creatures can't trigger.
    Draw a card.

  15. #915

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I'd settle for:

    RR Instant
    Counter target triggered ability.

    Or:

    Oppressive Heat
    RRRR Enchantment
    Triggered abilities of nonred permanents cannot trigger. Activated abilities of nonred permanents cannot be activated.

    Sent from my RM-820_nam_att_100 using Tapatalk

  16. #916
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I think that a cycle of Planar chaos Dragons' Lairs should be done. I'd make them a bit different, maybe some kind of different drawback than the last time.

  17. #917
    Hamburglar Hlelpler
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    See, the problem with giving every color "their version of Counterspell" is twofold -

    • Counters are not the only way to foster stack interaction
    • Counters don't necessarily belong in every color

    Now I know - believe me, I am a huge advocate of letting White be a distant second regarding playable counterspells - I know that it is stupid for Blue to be the best at interacting on the stack, and as a result it seems like it should follow that other colors should have stack mobility. I think that this confuses the issue though, and puts stack interaction through a giant bottleneck of an effect which has always been primarily Blue.

    It's like when we bitch about any spell that feels like the wrong color (and yeah, typically those are Blue spells like Delver, TNN, Snapcaster, etc etc) -- really it just poisons the game as a whole to blur the lines between colors. Think about if we were suggesting that Green 'should' have Terror effects to keep up with Black, or how other colors should have an effect on a par with Swords to Plowshares, or how discard could/should rightly be present in White as well. While it's interesting to try and explore how that might happen, really it just robs the identity of those effects away from their colors and decreases motive to play them. I know Blue's bag-of-tricks runs incredibly deep, but that isn't reason to take one of its staple forms of interaction and disburse it amongst other colors.

    Here's what I'd like to see, and maybe this is pedantic and fundamentally harder to express because it has not really been done in a meaningful way yet -- I would really like to see the other colors start to have methods of interacting with the stack in their own way that are potent enough to warrant consideration, without expressly just using the phrase "counter target" on it.

    So take for example a card like --


    Instant

    As target spell resolves, it deals damage equal to its converted mana cost to its controller. If that spell has a permanent type, it enters the battlefield with a crispy counter and loses all abilities.

    -- it has the 'problem' that a lot of Red cards do, the old "aw shucks its just moar damage" thing, but it has the ability to affect the state of the board without just hard-countering something it doesn't want to see. It also turns spells like Force of Will into 5 to the dome (6, if you count the 1 life payment) and gives Red a way to mitigate the incoming repercussions of going all-in with the burn plan.

    I realize that the ability to say 'no' to things is really appealing, and since it is the kind of potent effect we are used to seeing we maybe falsely assume that it is the most appropriate method of interacting on the stack. I feel like there's some worthwhile design space in the area of interacting with the stack in "in-color" ways for all colors. It's no different, IMHO, than the difference between creatures on the battlefield. There's a certain expectation that Green creatures are recognizable from Blue creatures, which are recognizable from White creatures, and so on. We're used to that difference being expressed time and time again, so much so that I don't know if it occurs to anyone that the same kind of diversity could be applied to the stack; it just so happens that it hasn't really happened yet.
    Quote Originally Posted by Dissection View Post
    Creature type - 'Fuck you mooooooom'
    Quote Originally Posted by Secretly.A.Bee View Post
    EDIT: Tsumi, you are silly.

  18. #918
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Tsumi, why is it that every time Iread one of your posts, I agree with most (if not all) of your ideas?

    I really think that part of the trouble with "modern" magic are the blurred lines betwen the colors PLUS overdone design and mechanics, esp. on creature-spells and spell-creatures. Long gone are the times of four-mana 5/5 dudes with one combat or upkeep ability. Kinda reason why I cannot play highlander anymore, as (even just the potential) interactions are endless and one needs a PhD and/or chess master level to properly play this children's pictorial game meant to kill some time between D&D sessions; which is not.

    I think that white may slowly accumulate some counterspells, much like red has the Fork effects and such. Frankly, it would look awkwardly after all those years, but then again one can't start in the past. I guess a strictly beneficial/protective counterspells (similar to "protect yourself" mode of Dawn Charm) are white, similarly to how redirection and copy effects are red part of the pile. Blue being the most cool color is definitely not good for the other colors' image.

    We need stack interaction not because of creatures (white, black and red can kill them, green can overrun them), not because of those spell-creatures and creature-spells with sick etb effects - although they are annoying enough to warrant a counterspell -, but because of combo and also control. (Geddon left the Type II environment post 6th Ed. as it hosed non-blue control strategies.) So, if there are sick cards in the game that warrant answer (be those answers blue's counters, black's discard, green's/white's hatebears and red's... nothing), there is more than just stack interaction to stop the offenders. But this further "sharpens" the metagame and it's no surprise that it turns into Ux-based control, Ux-based combo, and Wg-based prison.

  19. #919
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    ~
    Land
    CARDNAME enters the battlefield tapped. CARDNAME does not untap during its controller's untap step. Untap CARDNAME during each other player's untap step.
    Tap: Add to your mana pool.
    Quote Originally Posted by GreatWhale View Post
    Gross, other formats. I puked in my mouth a little.

  20. #920
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by EpicLevelCommoner View Post
    My invitational card? Hmm ... something that could fit into either Nic Fit or Loam Pox (I'm a BG Control Junkie).

    Something like this:

    ~ - (B/G) (B/G)
    Creature - Zombie Shaman
    When ~ enters the battlefield, draw a card unless an opponent discards a card.
    When ~ dies, return target creature card with converted mana cost 3 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.
    1/1
    Funny. I was thinking of what my fictional invi card would be and determined a GB GY based dude would be awesome as well. Mine was more like:



    ~ can only be cast from the Graveyard.

    As an additional cost to cast ~ you must discard a card.

    When ~ Enters the battlefield, you may cast a creature with converted mana cost 2 or less from your graveyard without paying it's mana cost.

    2/2

    Basically just the most awesome Vengevine enabler.
    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Cheese View Post
    I've been taking shitty brews and tier 2 decks to tournaments and losing with them for years now. Welcome to the club. We meet for cocktails after round 6.
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    Top quality german restraint there.

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