Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[Hanni]

I think a Spirit Guide for every color would just be cool, to allow decks of all colors access to minor acceleration. Many different decks can benefit from them, especially stompy decks. Giving combo a few extra tools hardly seems like a big deal, considering that they aren't dominating or warping the format right now.

Voracius vampire RB
Creature - Vampire
Haste Fly.
At end of your turn you lose 2 life.
4/1

Goblin Escort
1R
Creature - Goblin Scout
Haste
Whenever Goblin Escort attacks, defending player reveals the top card of his or her library. If it's a land card, that player puts it into his or her hand.
4/1

[Humphrey]

I think this thread shouldnt a discussion one ;)
but blue ssg woul be broken, just because it would be to much free mana with the other ssg´s

and it makes turn0 stifle/brainstorm possible

[Kuma]

You mean like Glimpse of Nature, Natural Order, or Survival of the Fittest?

Glimpse of Nature requires a pretty specific board position with the appropriate cards in hand to qualify as "answer me or die."

Natural Order costs four times what Goblin Lackey does and twice what Warren Instigator does. I'm sure you can appreciate that.

Most elf lists don't even run Survival. Besides, Survival takes lots of mana and time to take full advantage of, and it requires you to run cards like Squee and Anger that are horrible draws.

All Goblin Lackey and Warren Instigator require to be nuts are Goblins in hand.

Try again.

[quicksilver]

They should make a Spirit Guide for every color. Doesn't make sense not to; if green can have one, the rest of the colors should too.

They should make every card for every color. Doesn't make sense not to; if green can have one, the rest of the colors should too.

Like half the non broken cards in this thread are just cards shifted to another color, I think we can be a little more creative than that.

I wouldn't mind seeing something like this:

Instant
Target creature or player gains shroud until end of turn.


X
~This~ is blue.
You cannot spend more non-blue mana to cast this spell than blue mana.
Counter target spell with converted mana cost less than or equal to X.


Instant
Destroy target creature with power greater than its converted mana cost.

Legendary Land - Forest
Forests cannot be destroyed by spells or abilities your opponent's control.


You may return an island to your hand instead of paying ~this's~ mana cost.
Draw a card.


~This's~ power and toughness is equal to the number of basic lands you control.
*/*

[SilverGreen]

More goblins??? Eeeeks!!!

I pass, I don't need more gobs, elves or fishes, thx. I have been developing some kind of allergy for them in the last five years or so. Could we try some kithkin, kor or vampires, just to avoid the routine a little?

[SilverGreen]

I think this thread shouldnt a discussion one ;)
but blue ssg woul be broken, just because it would be to much free mana with the other ssg´s

and it makes turn0 stifle/brainstorm possible

That's exactly what we need now, right? More tools to make what's already winning to win even more. By the way, who cares about having his land drop fizzled at tropicalislanddecks' turn 0?

And wasn't this a discussion board? I like discussions!

[Pulp_Fiction]

OMG, I want this SOOOOO bad:

Rite of Dark Tides
B/U
Sorcery
Add B/U B/U to your mana pool then add an additional B/U for each copy of Rite of Dark Tides in all graveyards.

A Rite of Flame that adds any combination of black and blue mana .... yeah, that would be HOT!!!! This has to be printed.

[tivadar]

Well if we want to get into colorpie issues, it's white that really needs the boost. It used to be that white had the fast creatures, green had the beefy ones. Goyf and Goose changed that. Now white has... nothing? It has 1 mana removal that's not based on damage, but that's about it.

How about some card that makes white viable again? Honestly, I don't know what this is, but adding more goblins to a meta that already has goblins... well, that's not really helping eternal is it?

Ohh, since people now play 6 color decks, why not something that penalizes colors:
ww1:
If your opponent controls a plain, gain 4 life
If your opponent controls an island, draw a card
If your opponent controls a swamp, they lose 4 life
If your opponent controls a mountain, do 3 damage to target creature or player
If your opponent controls a forest, you may search your library for a basic land and put it into play.

Or some such.

[SilverGreen]

OMG, I want this SOOOOO bad:

Rite of Dark Tides
B/U
Sorcery
Add B/U B/U to your mana pool then add an additional B/U for each copy of Rite of Dark Tides in all graveyards.

A Rite of Flame that adds any combination of black and blue mana .... yeah, that would be HOT!!!! This has to be printed.

Mom, I'm scared, may I come to your bed tonight?

[Pulp_Fiction]

I also REALLY want a card to make Eternal Garden viable. This would be sexy as hell:

Land That Should Have Been Printed a Long Ass Fucking Time Ago
Land
Comes into play tapped (fuck this battlefield garbage)
Tap to add 1
1RG tap and sacrifice this land to destroy target artifact or enchantment.

[quicksilver]

There are a good number of cards printed to punish playing non-basic lands, but I would like to see some cards printed that reward playing basic lands.

[Humphrey]

That's exactly what we need now, right? More tools to make what's already winning to win even more. By the way, who cares about having his land drop fizzled at tropicalislanddecks' turn 0?

And wasn't this a discussion board? I like discussions!

I-Win-Button
Legendary Artifact
Shroud
If I-Win-Button is in your library you may search for it and begin the game with it on the battlefield.
0: Push the Button, you win the game. This ability has Split Second.
"Sometimes its just to easy"

[Hunter245]

Some things that go along with Zendikars theme..

City of Traitors
Land
Tap: Add 2 Mana
Landfall-Sacrifice City..

Give it cool art and a indiana jones feel

Imperial Recruiter
But print it as a updated type (Ally)
Then a cycle unfinished
what we should of received in ravnica

__ify 1BR
Instant
Destroy target Land or Creature

And A dream would be a colorless mox with the drawback of discarding a artifact card..

[tivadar]

Some things that go along with Zendikars theme..

City of Traitors
Land
Tap: Add 2 Mana
Landfall-Sacrifice City..

Give it cool art and a indiana jones feel

They couldn't give City of Traitors the same name. City of traitors is currently "when you play a land" not "whenever a land comes into play under your control".

[MattH]

Mom, I'm scared, may I come to your bed tonight?

No, your mom's bed is crowded enough as it is.

Then a cycle unfinished
what we should of received in ravnica

__ify 1BR
Instant
Destroy target Land or Creature

[Wargoos]

Cesus Jrist, Envoy of God


Planeswalker - Cesus Jrist

~ can use abilities requiring a loyality cost anytime you could play an instant.

+1: Target player gets 3 life or prevent the next 3 dmg any source would deal.

+1: Until end of turn you can't be the target of spells or abilities.

-4: Gain control of two target creatures. This effect does not end when ~ leaves play.

When ~ is in your graveyard during your upkeep, you may bring ~ back into play under your control.

2 loyality

[Hunter245]

I understand wrecking ball was printed but i dont think it would of been ungodly to print it 1cc cheaper.

[quicksilver]

It would actually make that pretty good land destruction. The main thing that balances land destruction is if you draw it later in the game and they already have enough land that losing one won't hurt them or if they play out some early threats land destruction can waste a valuable turn, that card completely negates these drawbacks. It probably would be a bit much at 3 mana, since 3 mana is the standard for just regular land destruction with no other pluses.

[leander?]

But regular LD is unplayable.

[HdH_Cthulhu]

Legendary Land - Forest
Forests cannot be destroyed by spells or abilities your opponent's control.
*/*

This shouldnt be a forest or have "other forests..."

4UU Hyperclone
Legendary Clone
Hyperclone has all abilities of all creatures in play.
3/6

Would be kick ass in mulitplayer: Its a Kokusho, Battlegrace Angel, Meluko and a Llanowar elf^^