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Thread: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

  1. #1561
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Uncontained Heretic
    Flash
    If a creature would enter exile from the battlefield, place it in its owner's graveyard instead.
    2/2

    My head hurts now.

  2. #1562
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    My head hurts is right. That and RIP.... Ouch.
    It is better to ask and look stupid then keep your mouth shut and remain so.
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  3. #1563
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Sulfuric Rage
    1R
    Enchantment - Aura
    Enchant Creature
    Enchanted Creature gets +1/-1 and attacks each turn if able.
    When ~this~ is put into a graveyard from the battlefield, return ~this~ to its owner's hand.

    Kind of like a mash-up of Sulfur Elemental, Rancor and whatever card there is that forces creatures to attack recklessly.

    Too powerful? The main application would be killing X/1s over and over again and also making utility creatures (such as Deathrite Shaman or Stoneforge Mystic) turn into enraged idiots that swing into your Tarmo-wall, so maybe 1R is too low of a cost. On the other hand, it's not quite as elegant as some other methods of repeatable removal, and can be disrupted fairly easily. What do ya'll think? I'd love to have this card for RUG Delver as a variant of Black's Darkblast.

    And then maybe if it's NOT too broken as is, you could tack on the Flash and/or Split Second that Sulfur Elemental also has. Just to make it even more obscene, especially helpful vs. Mother of Runes.

    The card could even be main-deck material, as you could profitably enchant your own creatures even against non-creature decks -- a 4/1 Delver is a faster clock than a 3/2, same with a 5/4 Tarmogoyf vs. a 4/5.

  4. #1564
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    It looks like a better Darkblast. I want to returns to hand trigger to delay until eot.
    "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
    "Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often and for the same reason."
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  5. #1565
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Finn View Post
    It looks like a better Darkblast. I want to returns to hand trigger to delay until eot.
    So perhaps a revised wording would be:

    Sulfuric Rage
    1R
    Enchantment - Aura
    Enchant Creature
    Flash
    Split Second
    Enchanted Creature gets +1/-1 and attacks each turn if able.
    At the end of your turn, if ~this~ is in your graveyard, you may return ~this~ to your hand.

    (or if that wording is too ugly, I suppose you could instead just give it straight up Dredge X. Or at least Flashback: R.)

    Given the delay in returning it to your hand, it's probably justified in tacking on the Sulfur Elemental's Flash + Split Second to also turn it into a combat trick and pseudo-instant speed removal. Maybe it runs the danger of being superior to Sudden Shock, but SS can at least damage Players + Planeswalkers too, and is better at killing 2-toughness creatures like Monastery Mentor.

  6. #1566
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I like how you have it now.
    "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
    "Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often and for the same reason."
    "Governing is too important to be left to people as silly as politicians."
    "Politicians were mostly people who'd had too little morals and ethics to stay lawyers."

  7. #1567
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ooh, I got one. So simple.

    One Night Stand
    sorcery

    Exile all nonland permanents. Then return those cards to the battlefield.
    "Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job."
    "Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often and for the same reason."
    "Governing is too important to be left to people as silly as politicians."
    "Politicians were mostly people who'd had too little morals and ethics to stay lawyers."

  8. #1568
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Finn View Post
    Ooh, I got one. So simple.

    One Night Stand
    sorcery

    Exile all nonland permanents. Then return those cards to the battlefield.
    That's arguably a better Ghostly Flicker, except that it also destroys all tokens. Idk, seems quite good and perhaps under-costed in a deck that abuses ETB effects.

  9. #1569
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Elemental Realm
    Land
    Tap, Pay 1 life, Sacrifice Elemental Realm:
    Search your library for a basic land card and
    put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your
    library.

    Would this see play in Legacy? Would a 3-color deck using only 2 or 3 basic lands use this in addition to the other fetchlands?
    What is the cut-off as far as 'number of basics in deck' to justify playing 1 of these over the other fetches?

    With the printing of Wastes and the colorless-symbol-as-a-requirement, this is a card I would like to see.

  10. #1570

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Ace/Homebrew View Post
    ...

    Would this see play in Legacy? Would a 3-color deck using only 2 or 3 basic lands use this in addition to the other fetchlands?
    What is the cut-off as far as 'number of basics in deck' to justify playing 1 of these over the other fetches?

    ...
    Mana bases are pretty greedy, and fetch+dual is almost always going to be more versatile. If WotC prints more good 'cares about basic land' cards it might end up making sense. I think the card would definitely see play in modern.

  11. #1571
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Immobilizing Drill
    Artifact
    When Immobilizing Drill ETB, name a card.
    Triggered abilities of the named card don't trigger.

    Seriously, why is this not a thing yet?!

  12. #1572
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ravage
    RR
    Sorcery
    Destroy target nonbasic land.

    Simple, elegant, and strong without being ridiculous.


    Demonic Power
    BBB
    Sorcery
    Draw a card and lose 1 life.
    Storm.

    I know some people will think this is ridiculously overpowered, but... whatever. Ritual -> Demonic Power t1 is still worse than Sign in Blood.


    Judge of Morality
    WW
    2/2 Human Cleric
    If any player puts a spell on the stack without paying its mana cost, counter that spell unless that player pays its mana cost.

    I mentioned something like this in one of the B&R threads. Very good against a lot of decks. Maybe not a maindeck card, but still good.
    Worth noting how nutty multiples can get.

  13. #1573

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Burninate
    RRRX
    ~ can't be countered if you have no cards in hand.
    Damage dealt by ~ can't be prevented.
    ~ deals X damage to each creature.

  14. #1574

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by DarthVicious View Post
    ...

    Demonic Power
    BBB
    Sorcery
    Draw a card and lose 1 life.
    Storm.

    I know some people will think this is ridiculously overpowered, but... whatever. Ritual -> Demonic Power t1 is still worse than Sign in Blood.

    ...
    Most storm cards are innocuous at low storm counts. The concern is what happens if the storm count gets bigger.

  15. #1575

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Screw you balefulstrix, GB
    Spider, 1/2
    Reach, deathtouch
    When Screw you balefulstrix etb, you may sacrifice a creature. If you do, you lose 2 life and draw 2 cards.
    Why did the commander cards shardless agent, baleful strix and true name all have to be blue? -Non blue eternal player

    Screw you shardless agent, 1GR
    Centaur Shaman, 2/2
    Cascade
    Or 1WR if you want to give Boros a buff. This card could have been any colour combination really, but nope had to be blue..

    Screw you TNN, 1BW
    Human Assassin, 3/1
    As Screw you TNN etb, choose a player. ~ gains protection from that player.
    yup, still salty. *grumbles*stupid R&D member that wanted to make merfolk great again...
    Junk and Stoned Rhinos.

  16. #1576

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Screw you balefulstrix, GB needs to sac another creature...
    “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

  17. #1577

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Vast Expanses
    Land
    You may pay an additional land on each of your turns.

    No points for guessing my pet deck.
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  18. #1578

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    4x this + urborg?
    “Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn.

  19. #1579

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    I prefer Riftstone Portal. Most decks run a slim land count, and couldn't take advantage of the land drops enough to handle the relative card disadvantage when they don't draw Urborg.

    Also, four of these plus four Urborgs is going to be hard for most decks that want colours besides black.


    Maybe I'll tell R&D to make it Legendary I guess. ;)
    Supremacy 2020 is the modern era game of nuclear brinksmanship! My blog:
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    You can play Lands.dec in EDH too! My primer:
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  20. #1580
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Ok, so this is my first attempt:

    Drain the Sins



    Instant

    add to your mana pool. You lose 2 life.

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