Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[MaximumC]

Let four copies of Tendrils resolve and counter the rest?

That's cute. :)

Storm Player: Before I cast my Tendrils, Duress you?
Intervention Player: ....oh, right.

[kirkusjones]

Stinkhole
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play stinkhole, pay 3 life or sacrifice a land.
Destroy target land.
Boggart legends speak of the Stinkhole, which swallowed an entire Kithkin village, leaving behind only a noxious cloud of gas.

The SCD thread about sinkhole made me curious what it would take for such a card to be considered playable in legacy. Not that anything considered better than sinkhole would ever be proposed, let alone printed.

[Gheizen64]

Stinkhole
Sorcery
As an additional cost to play stinkhole, pay 3 life or sacrifice a land.
Destroy target land.
Boggart legends speak of the Stinkhole, which swallowed an entire Kithkin village, leaving behind only a noxious cloud of gas.

The SCD thread about sinkhole made me curious what it would take for such a card to be considered playable in legacy. Not that anything considered better than sinkhole would ever be proposed, let alone printed.

Something with some side-sinergy would work methinks. Like:

Ruin and Famine 1RB
Sorcery
Destroy target land. All creatures get -1/-1 until EOT.

Basically a non-threshold rancid earth that also kill TNN and various X/1 from D&T and elves. Also incidentally kill your own explorers. Something similar was played in legacy for a while, Rolling Spoil, and costed essentially 1GGB

Another form of land destruction that could be printable in some side-products and become possibily playable in legacy is:

Drought 1RG
Sorcery
Drought can't be countered by spells or abilities.
Destroy target land. If that land was an island, Drought deal 3 damage to that land's controller.

Or something meant to predate the 0-basic lands approach of some decks:

Nature's Reclamation RG
Sorcery
Each player sacrifice a land, then search his or her library for two basic land, reveal them, and put them on the battlefield.

RG is a really bad color combination in legacy that has an easy go-to sinergy for it (non-basic land and artifact hate). A RG sorcery destroy target non-basic land or artifact for example? A 1RG From the Ashes? Ramp should also be solidly in RG's realm now that red has mana production as part of its color pie with nothing playable going for it (except Rite of Flame i guess).

Mana Echo RG
Enchantment
Whenever you taps a land for mana, add one mana to your mana pool of any type that land produced.

One sided mana flare baby!

[Michael Keller]

From the RoboRosewater Twitter account:



Wormcat Basilisk
Creature - Wall
Defender, flying
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, you may search your library for a card, shuffle your library, and put that card on top of it.
1/3

Seems good with Gitaxian Probe...

[Nonex]

Erghor, Wizardry's Bane
Legendary Creature - Elf Goblin Mutant
Flash
You may cast red and/or green spells as though they had flash.
Whenever you cast a red or green spell, you may counter target spell you don't control.
2/2

Magus of the Sinkhole
Creature - Human Wizard
When Magus of the Sinkhole enters the battlefield, choose a land on the battlefield, then destroy it.
"So simple, yet so complex, to correct the mistakes of the past."
2/1

Ethereal Mage
Creature - Human Wizard
When Ethereal Mage enters the battlefield, you may pay X. If you do, search your library for an enchantment card with converted mana cost X or less, put it onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library.
2/2

[Pittplayer]

If I could create one card for MTG is would be this:

Cultivator of Rot B
Creature - Zombie
Sacrifice a Zombie: Add B to your mana pool.
Unearth: BB
1/1

This creature would do something which seems like it should already be on a card. It is a very black ability, namely sacrificing for gain. But he also allows infinite combo's with Gravecrawler. Paired with Bridge from Below, Diregraf Colossus, or Diregraf Captain.

[EpicLevelCommoner]

If I could create one card for MTG is would be this:

Cultivator of Rot B
Creature - Zombie
Sacrifice a Zombie: Add B to your mana pool.
Unearth: BB
1/1

This creature would do something which seems like it should already be on a card. It is a very black ability, namely sacrificing for gain. But he also allows infinite combo's with Gravecrawler. Paired with Bridge from Below, Diregraf Colossus, or Diregraf Captain.

Phyrexian Altar and Skirk Prospector work similarly ... probably should be a 2/2 for 1B to be on the safe side of Balance.

[Pittplayer]

If red can get a Skirk Prospector for 1 red as a 1/1.. surely black can? And black should be able to do it better. Hence Unearth. I think this card is exactly what black is about and not even pushed. Deathrite Shaman is way more pushed and powerful. No reason to make my card 1B.

[Pittplayer]

Also I would love a fixed Pox. Pox is a great card.. but comes with some series math problems. How about this?

A Pox Unleashed BBB
Each player sacrifices 3 creatures, then sacrifices 3 lands, then discards 3 cards, then loses 3 life.

[ntropy]

I think the reason Pox is good is that the rounding up clause (the math) disrupts the symmetry.

for the land destruction/poxers out here:

Tibalt, Ruinator BB
Tibalt Planeswalker, 2 loyalty
0: Add BB to your mana pool.
-1: Each player sacrifices a creature.
-2: Destroy target land.

[Pittplayer]

Liliana of the Veil is better and used in a lot of Pox lists. How about this?

Salisa, Disease Harbinger BBB

Human Planeswalker 4 Loyalty

+1: Each player loses 2 life.
-1: Each player sacrifices one creature.
-8: Each player loses 3 life for every non-swamp land they control.

This walker can both protect itself and be a win condition for Pox.

[Phoenix Ignition]

-8: Each player loses 3 life for every non-swamp they control.

Non-swamp what? Land? Permanent? Finger?

[Gheizen64]

Mox Paradox
Artifact
Untap : add one mana of any color to your mana pool

This could've been the mox for kaladesh. Work with the additional casting cost (improvise) and a subtheme of tapping things for benefit could've benefited this.

Solitaire Mox
Artifact
You can't play more than one spell each turn.
You can't play Solitaire Mox if you already played a spell this turn.
T: add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

This is a design i often come back to. It's basically a card that convert a "spell drop" into a land drop. You can't drop multiple of it in one turn, and you can't go off with it the same turn you play it, nor develop your board at all, nor chain spells, in exchange for ramping your mana production.

[Gheizen64]

A card to push post and tomb decks in general.

Geomimic Stone 2
Artifact
Geomimic Stone ETB tapped as a copy of target land, except it's still an artifact.

[[SLAYER]chaos]

I was thinking of something like this to help fight against blue decks in general but has other applications too.

Shadows of Mephistopheles
Instant
Until end of turn whenever a player would draw a card, that is not the first card drawn during their draw phase, any opponent may pay one life to prevent that draw and have that player discard that card.

[Tittliewinks22]

Disen-shatter RW
Instant
Disen-shatter cannot be countered by activated or triggered abilities.
Destroy Target Artifact or Enchantment.

[harbingerofthevoid]

Dearth
X
Sorcery
Rare
Each player sacrifices a land that could produce a color of mana paid to cast Dearth.

[Pittplayer]

Salisa, Disease Harbinger BBB
Jackal Planeswalker 4 Loyalty

+1: Discard a card. Each player sacrifices a land.
+1: Lose 3 life. Each player sacrifices a creature.
-7: You get an emblem with " At the end of your discard phase, each creature get -3-3 and each player loses 3 life. "

[rufus]

Force of Pain
3BB
Counter target spell. You lose half your life rounded up.
You pay pay half your life total rather than pay Force of Pain's casting cost.

[rufus]

I was thinking of something like this to help fight against blue decks in general but has other applications too.

Shadows of Mephistopheles
Instant
Until end of turn whenever a player would draw a card, that is not the first card drawn during their draw phase, any opponent may pay one life to prevent that draw and have that player discard that card.

It's a 1-1 so you could just leave the ugly first card clause off:

For the rest of the turn, whenever a player would draw a card, any player may pay 2 life instead. (If a player pays life this way, no card is drawn.)