Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[Gheizen64]

Stoneforge Paladin
WWR
Creature - Kor Artificer
When ~ comes into play, you may search your library for an equipment card and put it onto the battlefield.
1/2

If u want a good WR card, a super recruiter would fit nicely in both color's phylosophies:

Supah Recruitah RW
Creature - whatever
As this ETB, search your library for a creature with power or thoughness <=2 and add it to your hand.
1/1

[DarthVicious]

Opulent Lechery

Enchantment
Pay 1 life: Exile target card from your graveyard. Exile target card from an opponent's graveyard. Draw a card. Play this ability no more than once each turn.

[Hanni]

Mystic of the Sun
WR
Creature - Kor Wizard
R, tap: Deal two damage to target creature.
W, tap: Target permanent gains protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.
1/4

[Strawberry Dwarf]

Some ideas:

Gemstone Crypt
Land
When ~GC enters the battlefield, pay X life. ~GC enters the battlefield with X mining counters on it. If there are no mining counters on ~GC, sacrifice it.
Tap: Add to your mana pool.
Tap, Remove a mining counter from ~GC: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

Brass Mox
Artifact

~BM enters the battlefield tapped and doesn't untap during your untap step. At the beginning of your upkeep, you may pay 1 life. If you do, untap ~BM.
Tap: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

Magus of the Oath
Creature – Elf Wizard Druid

1/2
Tap, Sacrifice ~MotO: Reveal cards from the top of your library until you reveal a mono-green creature card with power 5 or more. Put that card onto the battlefield and all other cards revealed this way on the bottom of your library in any order.

Magus of the Balance
Creature – Human Wizard

2/2
During your upkeep, each player chooses a number of lands he or she controls equal to the number of lands controlled by the player who controls the fewest, then sacrifices the rest. Players discard cards, sacrifice creatures and remove counters from all planeswalkers the same way.

Magus of the Force
Creature – Merfolk Wizard

1/4
Channel – Return basic Island on top of your library, Discard ~MotF: Counter target nonmana ability or nonpermanent spell.

[Strawberry Dwarf]

cont.

Magus of the Hatred
Creature – Dauthi Wizard

1/2
Shadow.
, Tap, Pay X life, Sacrifice ~MotH: Target creature gets +X/-1 and gains shadow until end of turn.

Magus of the Wildfire
Creature – Dwarf Wizard

2/2
: Each player sacrifices four permanents, discards 4 cards and ~MotW deals 4 damage to each player. Use this ability only if 6 or more mana has been spent by your opponents to play spells this turn, and only once each turn.

[Gheizen64]

Magus of the oath would be perfectly balanced as a 1/1 or even 2/2 for the original mana cost of oath of druids, being himself a creature:

Magus of the oath 1G
Creature - Magus
~ oath of druid text.
2/2

It's an hatebear for creature, quite the elegant design. You can't use it to cheat things reliably either since he's a creature himself and can be found via the oath trigger.

Spell maguses have been T, sac effects. A 1W magus of balance at 0/1 could be not broken (telegraphed, removable).

Brass mox is hilariously OP.

EDIT: a cycle of Leylines cause why not

Leyline of growth 2GG
Enchantment
~ Leyline clause
At the beginning of your opponent's upkeep, search your library for a basic land card, reveal it and add it to your hand.

Leyline of creativity 2RR
Enchantment
~ Leyline clause
At the beginning of your upk, if you have no cards in hand, draw two cards.

Leyline of Silence 2WW
Enchantment
~Leyline clause
Each player can only cast 1 spell each turn.

Leyline of Nightmares 2BB
Enchantment
~Leyline clause
When a player draw a card he or she lose 1 life.

Leyline of Knowledge 2UU
Enchantment
~Leyline clause
At the beginning of your upk, scry 1.

A pair of artifact in honor of the Vise/Rack

Mishra's Great Dam 1
Artifact
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a basic land card from your hand on the bottom of your library. If you do, draw a card.
This should fix all those floods on the crops! - Mishra, to Urza

Urza's old trusty driver 1
Artifact
At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a card from your hand on the bottom of your library. If you do, search your library for a basic land, reveal it and add it to your hand.
This should fix all those screws in their place! - Urza, to Mishra

Yawgmoth's Bauble 0
Artifact
T, sacrifice: draw 3 then put 3 back on top of your library.
You are too limited, look, we can fix both! - Yagwmoth, to the Brothers

[Gheizen64]

Tsabo's Moon 2
Artifact
Activated abilities of lands that aren't mana abilities can't be played.

An alternate blood moon that hit fetches the hardest, but also is incredibly good vs wastelands/ports in sol decks as it allow you to still mantain your greater mana generation while hosing your opponent mana development and mana denial strategies. Bonus random hoser of karakas and dark depths.

[MorphBerlin]

Tsabo's Moon 2
Artifact
Activated abilities of lands that aren't mana abilities can't be played.

An alternate blood moon that hit fetches the hardest, but also is incredibly good vs wastelands/ports in sol decks as it allow you to still mantain your greater mana generation while hosing your opponent mana development and mana denial strategies. Bonus random hoser of karakas and dark depths.

I think this would be fairer than Blood Moon, though it should replace it not be an aditional card.

[Vicar in a tutu]

Academic Sadism
Enchantment
Whenever an opponent sacrifices a permanent, you may pay 1 life. If you do, draw a card.

I initially wanted this to cost just , but it works so well against enemy fetchlands, that a player shouldn't be able to cast it the first turn under normal circumstances. Otherwise, it works really well with Smallpox, Pox, enemy Wastelands, Innocent Blood, Liliana of the Veil, etc.

[Kanti]

School of Fish
5UU Instant
Put a 4/4 Fish onto the battlefield
Storm

Why can't I have this crappy card? High Tide->Turnabout->doyoulikefishsticks?

also,

Counter Magic
0
Instant

Counter Magic is blue

Counter target spell. You lose 2 life.

DragoFireheart CONFIRMED to have developed Mental Misstep. Wow... Drago bless my post, maybe WotC will do my dream Time Spiral 2.0 and we will have this time-shifted storm spell.

[Mad Mat]

Make goblins great again!

Akki Bodyguard 2RR
Creature - Goblin Ninja
Yojimbo R (R, Return a blocked creature you control to hand: Put this card onto the battlefield from your hand tapped and attacking. It becomes blocked by the creature(s) that were blocking the returned creature.).
Whenever a creature dealt combat damage by Akki Bodyguard this turn dies, you may put a red Goblin permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.
3/2

Akki Gold Digger 1R
Creature - Goblin Scout
When Akki Gold Digger enters the battlefield, shuffle your graveyard, then return a card at random from your graveyard to your hand.
When Akki Gold Digger dies, you may choose a card from your graveyard and shuffle it among the top four cards of your library.
2/1

Fanatic Mogg R
Creature - Goblin
Sacrifice Fanatic Mogg: Fateseal 0.
When Fanatic Mogg dies, it deals damage equal to its power to target creature or player.
2/1

Goldnuts, the Burier 1R
Legendary Creature - Goblin Rogue
Sacrifice a goblin: Change the target of target spell with a single target unless its controller pays 1.
2/1

Thaltuk, Thraben Explorer RW
Legendary Creature - Goblin Soldier
Haste
Noncreature spells cost 1 more to cast.
2/2

Akki Sacred Glacier
Legendary Snow Land
At the beginning of your upkeep, sacrifice a Goblin or exile Akki Sacred Glacier.
T: Add R to your mana pool.
T, Sacrifice a Goblin: Counter target spell if its converted mana cost is less than or equal to the number of nontoken Goblins you control.

[ronco]

Recurring Horror - BBB
Creature - Horror
Haste
During your upkeep, if ~RH is in your graveyard, you may sacrifice a creature. If you do, return ~RH to the battlefield with a +1/+1 counter.
When ~RH leaves play, if it moves to your graveyard, it keeps all +1/+1 counters.

1/1

[Nonex]

Morphing Memories
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Morphing Memories, a player of your choice discards his or her hand.
The chosen player draws ten cards.

Mana Fading
Enchantment
Permanents don't untap during their controllers' untap steps.
At the beginning of each player's end step, that player loses X life, where X is 2 plus the number of untapped permanents he or she controls.

Pawn of Yawmgoth
Creature - Zombie Wizard
When Pawn of Yawgmoth enters the battlefield, destroy all creatures with converted mana cost 2 or less. They can't be regenerated.
Players can't cast spells with converted mana cost 2 or less.
3/3

Mana Burst
Instant
Split Second
Counter all sorcery spells. Players can't cast sorcery spells this turn.
Draw a card.

[dr.philgood]

Juggle the third sun

When cast place juggle the third sun as the third card from the top of your library.

If this is the third time juggle the third sun has been cast you win the game......



Many a Planeswalker have tried, most go blind ;)

[Barook]

Seeker of Legends
Creature - Human Soldier Scout
When Seeker of Legends enters the battlefield, you may search your library for a legendary card and reveal that card. Shuffle your library, then put the card on top of it.
1/1

Would be a cool card for D&T.

[Lava Snacks]

Brainstorm on the Plains
Enchantment
Brainstorm on the Plains costs less to cast for each enchantment you control.
When Brainstorm on the Plains enters the battlefield, draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.

Brainstorm in a Swamp
Instant
As an additional cost to cast Brainstorm in a Swamp, sacrifice a black permanent.
Draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.

Brainstorm in a Forest
Instant
Draw two cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.
If you control two or more green creatures, draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order instead.

Brainstorm on a Mountain
Instant
You can't cast Brainstorm on a Mountain unless you control a basic Mountain.
Draw three cards, then put two cards from your hand on top of your library in any order.

[Jain_Mor]

The Hero Legacy Deserves (2)
Instant
The Hero Legacy Deserves costs (1) less to cast if you control a basic land.
Draw 3 cards, then put two cards from your hand ontop of your library in any order.
For the rest of the game cards named Brainstorm cannot be cast.
"They said they'd quit if we banned it."

[Mad Mat]

I don't think a cantrip like brainstorm is going to feel on-color if you just strap some conditions onto it. Better some variants which fit better with the color pie:

Fall Back W
Instant
Scry 3, then manifest the top card of your library.
Put a permanent you control on top of its owner’s library.

Paranoid Fetchings B
Instant
Reveal the top three cards of your library and put them into your hand. You lose life equal to their total converted mana cost. Then discard two cards.

Storm Brain R
Instant
You may draw a card. If you don’t, draw a card at the beginning of the next turn’s upkeep.
Target player draws two cards, then puts two random cards from his or her hand on top of his or her library in a random order.

Mirri's Tactics G
Instant
Whenever a creature deals combat damage to a player this turn, you may draw a card. If you do, put a card from your hand on top of your library.
Draw a card.

White is easily the most difficult to do, as it's not associated with library manipulation or card drawing at all.

[Gheizen64]

A card disadvantage bauble-brainstorm would not break the color pie at all, and at 0, even with the card disadvantage it'd be played.

Brainstorm's bauble 0
Artifact
Sac: draw 2, put 2 back on top.

[BooleanLobster]

I'd like fewer games to be completely one-sided, so:

Sensei's Broken Toy
Artifact
, Sac ~: Scry 2, then draw a card.
, Sac ~: Exile target card in a graveyard.
, Sac ~: Return target spell or permanent to its owner's hand.

It used to spin for hours, but no longer.


A colorless Preordain to combat mana screw. A weak way to interact with just about any nonsense that your deck would normally just lose to.