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Thread: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

  1. #1761
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by taconaut View Post
    Feels like it's only a matter of time before they print this, though we already have that one Anafenza, right?.

    Also, seems like your blue black sword is considerably better than the others (though nothing new there for mtg amirite).
    I'd love to have a mono white graveyard hoser on a stick that's about as strong as RiP. It probably is only a matter of time.

    I might edit the sword, it does seem like there's two blue effects on it.

  2. #1762
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateKing View Post
    I was reading Byant Cook's TES Mailbox #10 and they asked him for custom cards he'd like to see and one he said was this

    But that made me think of this

    Kills Thalia if she's on the board, and -3/-3 for 3 under Trinisphere isn't bad
    They already printed suitable hate cards for DnT. Ex:

    Dread of Night
    Nausea
    Night of Soul's Betrayal
    Black Sun's Zenith
    Anger of the Gods

    Need I go on?

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  3. #1763

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by KærvekTheMerciless View Post
    They already printed suitable hate cards for DnT. Ex:

    Dread of Night
    Nausea
    Night of Soul's Betrayal
    Black Sun's Zenith
    Anger of the Gods

    Need I go on?

    Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk
    I believe that's overstating it.

    DoN: pretty decent, but doesn't kill revokers or x/2s (canonist, for example)
    Nausea: Kills Revoker, but costs two mana, doesn't do anything if they have another hate bear in hand and a vial, can't get x/2s
    Night of soul's betrayal: Four mana, five mana under thalia, unplayable
    Black sun's Zenith: again, five mana to get x/2's under thalia, four to get thalia, might as well play toxic deluge (which ends up making your ad nauseams worse anyway)
    Anger of the gods: ??? double red, three mana, mom can save their most important guy?

    I get that the hate cards DnT plays have to be bananas, because the alternative is them just getting domed for lethal storm or showed a griselbrand, but I think Wizards has gone completely gonzo printing these hatebears. DnT will literally never have to contend with something like:

    Slough Pits
    Enchantment, 1B
    All creatures get -2/-2.

    ...which wouldn't even get prelate, or:

    Exclusion Field
    Enchantment, 1U
    Creatures can't enter the battlefield.

    ...which still wouldn't save you if they had one in play before you put it down.

  4. #1764
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Barook View Post
    Would this be too good, interaction with Isochron Sceptre aside?

    Draw Hate
    Instant
    Target player can't draw cards this turn. Exile Draw Hate.

    You can either jam the natural draw phase of your opponent (to give it use outside of cantrip hating; I'm aware that's very strong and is sometimes a Time Walk) or counter a cantrip.

    Suppress Knowledge
    Instant
    Split Second
    Players cannot draw cards as a result of spells or abilities they control this turn. Exile Suppress Knowledge.


    That's how I'd do it anyway.

  5. #1765
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by taconaut View Post
    I believe that's overstating it.

    DoN: pretty decent, but doesn't kill revokers or x/2s (canonist, for example)
    Nausea: Kills Revoker, but costs two mana, doesn't do anything if they have another hate bear in hand and a vial, can't get x/2s
    Night of soul's betrayal: Four mana, five mana under thalia, unplayable
    Black sun's Zenith: again, five mana to get x/2's under thalia, four to get thalia, might as well play toxic deluge (which ends up making your ad nauseams worse anyway)
    Anger of the gods: ??? double red, three mana, mom can save their most important guy?

    I get that the hate cards DnT plays have to be bananas, because the alternative is them just getting domed for lethal storm or showed a griselbrand, but I think Wizards has gone completely gonzo printing these hatebears. DnT will literally never have to contend with something like:

    Slough Pits
    Enchantment, 1B
    All creatures get -2/-2.

    ...which wouldn't even get prelate, or:

    Exclusion Field
    Enchantment, 1U
    Creatures can't enter the battlefield.

    ...which still wouldn't save you if they had one in play before you put it down.
    You may have valid points, but from my experience, DoN is basically a giant middle finger to the deck. Anger is almost a complete blowout. I would, and have, happily paid 4 for Anger. It's that good. And realistically, Mom can be responded to, and if she saves someone else, she doesn't save herself. She only stops 1 bullet a turn.

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  6. #1766
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by KærvekTheMerciless View Post
    You may have valid points, but from my experience, DoN is basically a giant middle finger to the deck. Anger is almost a complete blowout. I would, and have, happily paid 4 for Anger. It's that good. And realistically, Mom can be responded to, and if she saves someone else, she doesn't save herself. She only stops 1 bullet a turn.

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    The card I made wasn't because I hate Death and Taxes or somehow think there isn't enough hate for it.

    It was pursuing the idea that you can make cards "turn on" only under a tax effect, an extensions of the idea that casing Engineered Explosives for gets you 2 counters on it despite a CMC of 4. Or, under Thalia, you chose X=1, taxed to 2, pay that with and get 2 counters.

    So it's just the template of a CMC 0 card that gets better the more mana you spend on it, -X/-X was only just the low hanging fruit.
    Quote Originally Posted by GreatWhale View Post
    Gross, other formats. I puked in my mouth a little.

  7. #1767

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by KærvekTheMerciless View Post
    You may have valid points, but from my experience, DoN is basically a giant middle finger to the deck. Anger is almost a complete blowout. I would, and have, happily paid 4 for Anger. It's that good. And realistically, Mom can be responded to, and if she saves someone else, she doesn't save herself. She only stops 1 bullet a turn.

    Sent from my SCH-I605 using Tapatalk
    It's possible you're looking at it from a non-combo perspective; I'm not saying those cards aren't good, I'm saying Dread of Night is less of a middle finger to DnT than Prelate or Canonist is to Storm, and DnT will never have to worry about experiencing similar hate (something cheap that completely shuts them down, and also beats for two) because wizards hates combo and loves dorky duders.

    As for Anger, yeah, four is maybe possible, but you also need double red (under wastelands and ports) and to be able to find it. For Mom, sure, she doesn't save herself, but now you need two removal spells: one for the miserable hatebear and one for mom.

  8. #1768

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Stash

    Instant
    Put a card from your hand on top of your library. Draw two cards at the beginning the next upkeep.

  9. #1769

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Metal Detector

    Artifact

    , discard a card: create a colorless Treasure artifact token with "tap, sac: add one mana of any color to your mana pool." When this ability resolves, if this is the third time it has resolved this turn, transform Metal Detector.
    //
    El Dorido, City of Riches

    Legendary Land
    Tap: add to your mana pool
    Tap: add to your mana pool for each artifact you control.

    Touch any surface in the lost city of El Dorido and your fingertips will come away coated in fragrant, golden dust.
    Quote Originally Posted by TsumiBand View Post
    It's like arguing your way out of a speeding ticket by saying "it's not like I'm wearing oven mitts, officer."
    Twenty Kavus and a Dream is NOT a Legacy deck.

  10. #1770

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by kirkusjones View Post
    Metal Detector

    Artifact

    , discard a card: create a colorless Treasure artifact token with "tap, sac: add one mana of any color to your mana pool." When this ability resolves, if this is the third time it has resolved this turn, transform Metal Detector.
    //
    El Dorido, City of Riches

    Legendary Land
    Tap: add to your mana pool
    Tap: add to your mana pool for each artifact you control.

    Touch any surface in the lost city of El Dorido and your fingertips will come away coated in fragrant, golden dust.
    There is no way they are making Tolarian Academy in red.

  11. #1771

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Pittplayer View Post
    There is no way they are making Tolarian Academy in red.
    I don't expect Wizards to.
    A) This is the shitty card creation thread.
    B) Wizard's idea of a "good" legendary land in red is Kher Keep.
    I am well aware that I am shouting into the void here.
    Quote Originally Posted by TsumiBand View Post
    It's like arguing your way out of a speeding ticket by saying "it's not like I'm wearing oven mitts, officer."
    Twenty Kavus and a Dream is NOT a Legacy deck.

  12. #1772

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by kirkusjones View Post
    B) Wizard's idea of a "good" legendary land in red is Kher Keep.
    Woah woah woah, who's talking shit about kher keep? that card is sweet

  13. #1773
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by taconaut View Post
    It's possible you're looking at it from a non-combo perspective; I'm not saying those cards aren't good, I'm saying Dread of Night is less of a middle finger to DnT than Prelate or Canonist is to Storm, and DnT will never have to worry about experiencing similar hate (something cheap that completely shuts them down, and also beats for two) because wizards hates combo and loves dorky duders.

    As for Anger, yeah, four is maybe possible, but you also need double red (under wastelands and ports) and to be able to find it. For Mom, sure, she doesn't save herself, but now you need two removal spells: one for the miserable hatebear and one for mom.
    Indeed all valid points. I myself have been pickled on occasion by not having RR available. It can suck. Prelate is less troublesome to Storm however, if Prelate is on 4 to stop wincons, it gets Abrupt Decay'd. If its on 2 to stop tutors and decay, then they get Ad Naus'd. It isn't nearly as good as Thalia is natively. Canonist, well, *barfs* nobody likes seeing that little witch. It wouldn't stun me to see DoN on a few Storm sideboards. Really, most of the good hatebears are white in general, even moreso when you look at the ones that hose Storm. So in reality it is more meta choice and your decision as to what kind of penis you wish to be.

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  14. #1774
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by taconaut View Post
    It's possible you're looking at it from a non-combo perspective; I'm not saying those cards aren't good, I'm saying Dread of Night is less of a middle finger to DnT than Prelate or Canonist is to Storm, and DnT will never have to worry about experiencing similar hate (something cheap that completely shuts them down, and also beats for two) because wizards hates combo and loves dorky duders.

    As for Anger, yeah, four is maybe possible, but you also need double red (under wastelands and ports) and to be able to find it. For Mom, sure, she doesn't save herself, but now you need two removal spells: one for the miserable hatebear and one for mom.
    I just reread this and realized something....there is a miserable little hatebear for DnT.

    Two words.

    Harsh Mentor.

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  15. #1775
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    [Magus of Doom]

    BBB
    Creature - Human Wizard
    2/2 (or 1/1)

    At the beginning of your upkeep search your library and graveyard for five cards and exile the rest. Put the chosen cards on top of your library in any order. You lose half your life, rounded up. Sacrifice Magus of Doom.

    I figure it's more playable than a BBB cost creature that costs BBB to activate and less Broken than an ETB version. Could also template as:

    [Magus of Doom]

    BBB
    Creature - Human Wizard
    2/2 (or 1/1)

    T, Pay half your life rounded up: Search your library and graveyard for five cards and exile the rest. Put the chosen cards on top of your library in any order. Sacrifice Magus of Doom.

    I like the first as it locks you into inevitability of it activating rather than the second giving you choice but having the life loss as a cost.
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  16. #1776
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Charms

    Vampiric Charm
    Instant

    Choose one:
    - Add to your mana pool for each basic Swamp you control. (Duals aren't basic.)
    - Pay X life (X can't be 0). Put target creature card from your graveyard onto the battlefield with X time counters on it. It gains vanishing.
    - Search your library for a mono-black card and reveal it. Shuffle your library and put that card on top of it.

    Heat Charm
    Instant

    Choose one:
    - Heat Charm deals 3 damage to target creature.
    - Tap up to 2 target lands an opponent controls. That opponent loses 2 life for each nonbasic land targetted this way.
    - Target player sacrifices an artifact.

    Living Charm
    Instant

    Choose one:
    - All creatures you control gain reach and get +1/+2 until end of turn.
    - All creatures block this turn if able.
    - You gain 2 life for each noncreature card in all opponent's graveyards.

    Noble Charm
    Instant

    Choose one:
    - All creatures gain defender until end of turn. Skip your next combat step.
    - You have shroud until end of turn.
    - Target permanent is indestructible until end of turn.

    Tidal Charm
    Instant

    Choose one:
    - Counter target instant or sorcery spell.
    - Return target creature on top of its owner's library. Edit: Target player chooses and returns a creature he or she controls on top of its owner's library.
    - Search your library for a card and choose an opponent. That opponent pays X life. Exile that card with X+1 time counters on it and it gains suspend. Shuffle your library afterwards. Edit: Search top 4 cards of your library for a card and choose an opponent. That opponent pays X life. Exile that card with X+1 time counters on it and it gains suspend. Put the rest 3 card onto the bottom of your library in any order.
    Last edited by Strawberry Dwarf; 11-13-2017 at 12:03 PM.
    My decks from real paper cards:

    Emerald Horologe
    Simian Gorgon Sligh
    Blood Bats
    Magdisk White Weenie

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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberry Dwarf View Post
    Tidal Charm
    Instant

    Choose one:
    - Counter target instant or sorcery spell.
    - Return target creature on top of its owner's library.
    - Search your library for a card and choose an opponent. That opponent pays X life. Exile that card with X+1 time counters on it and it gains suspend. Shuffle your library afterwards.
    Typical of any cycle, blue is an absolute beast.

    Broad stroke protection options, but cast and search up an Emrakul, the Aeons Torn or Griselbrand? Wow 6 life, that's a lot of turns, okay. Cast a second one? Hmm, 6 life again, jeez okay. Snapcaster Mage, flashback Tidal Charm?
    Quote Originally Posted by GreatWhale View Post
    Gross, other formats. I puked in my mouth a little.

  18. #1778
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by PirateKing View Post
    Typical of any cycle, blue is an absolute beast.

    Broad stroke protection options, but cast and search up an Emrakul, the Aeons Torn or Griselbrand? Wow 6 life, that's a lot of turns, okay. Cast a second one? Hmm, 6 life again, jeez okay. Snapcaster Mage, flashback Tidal Charm?
    Okay, I see I made it overpowered a bit.

    What about "Search top 4 cards of your library" and "put the rest 3 onto the bottom of your library any order" instead?
    My decks from real paper cards:

    Emerald Horologe
    Simian Gorgon Sligh
    Blood Bats
    Magdisk White Weenie

  19. #1779

    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberry Dwarf View Post
    Okay, I see I made it overpowered a bit.

    What about "Search top 4 cards of your library" and "put the rest 3 onto the bottom of your library any order" instead?
    Yeah but what bout the strictly better Time Ebb?
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  20. #1780
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    Re: Obligatory shitty card creation thread

    Psshhht. Time Ebb is a sorcery.

    That's a bargain Griptide.



    This card goes straight to banland in Standard and good god please do not unleash it upon Legacy.
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