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Thread: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

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    [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    I love commas, hyphens, the word and and(!) other assorted overused grammar stuffs. I am bad at writing and I'll apologize for this up front. That said read on!

    I awoke on Sunday (damn time change) after about 6 hours of sleep, woke my two friends who constituted my ride and waited on Dr. Healix to arrive. While we are sitting around waiting we make sure everyone has the cards they need. I have a feeling that I should play something black disruption centered and that someone with such a deck will do good. Guess I was right, too bad he made horrible plays. We got in the car and made the hour drive to Indy. I was playing Parcher's list with -1Wispmare +1 Tetradon with one friend playing Thrash, another playing Elf Survival and Dr. Healix playing Countertop. I ate a toaster strudel because those fucking rule. Drive was sleepy and pretty uneventful.

    We got there in plenty of time so I sort of just scooted around, scouting shit out. Talked Dredge tech with a fellow LED Dredge player who opted for 2 Tireless Tribe main and was intrigued by the inclusion of MD Unmaskes. I'm pretty sure he even said my deck was close to "Parcher Dredge", which was exactly right. Seemed like a really good guy.

    I am horrible with names. I only remember one guys name as I always forget to write them down. I also play somewhat slowly therefore I don't take the time to ever take real notes because theres no way any of my matches would ever end in time if I did. I hardly ever had more than 10 minutes between rounds to get shit done.

    Round 1: Merfolk with Tarmogoyf

    Game one I slow-dredge into Narcs who beat him down along with Ichorids and zombies. He plays Vial, some random Merfolk and something else. Easy win. Game two I mull to six looking for a hand that doesn't lose to force and also gives me the ability to flashback Ancient Grudge. I draw looking to DDD, but he has the Relic and I never find a land. Backed up with Jitte and the death of my Narcs I loose this one. Game three is the same as two. Fucked that one up I guess, but hey, all I have to do is win every other round right! I'll play against all the tribal/other decks that lost to Reanimator etc round 1! This should be easy!

    Match: 1-2 (0-1-0)

    Round 2: Goblins

    Boy does tribal love me today. Guy tells me he's playing Goblins and that he just lost to Dredge. I feel pretty confidant against this matchup, but I loose game one. I can't remember quite what happened, but I dredged twice and just didn't get shit. For instance, both dredges were trolls and got 3 lands, 2 therapies, 2 Putrid Imps and a couple Breakthroughs. I couldn't believe it. He swings with his dorks for a couple of turns and its on to game two. Game two I see no lands in the first hand, a Cephalid, a troll, an LED, 2 Breakthroughs and other stuff which I didn't keep because it didn't have/couldn't flashback Ancient Grudge, 3 Ichorids two Nacromebas in the third, and 2 lands 2 therapies in the forth. I finally draw just 3 lands. I say fuck it and go with it. I get run over quickly, with him never drawing a hate card. Why did I mull that second hand? Easily the stupidest thing I did all tournament. Either that or the worst gamble I bet on. That was really, really pathetic on my part. However, I lack the murder level intensity of many players and laugh this loss off easily. I don't ever really go on tilt.

    Match: 0-2 (0-2-0)

    Yeah! This tournaments going great! Both driving friends are 0-2 as well (Elf Survival got turn two'd Iona two games in a row second round I believe). However, I paid too much money and lost too much sleep to stop now, I'm going to at least get my monies worth.

    Round 3: Bant Stuff

    I tend to joke with my opponents frequently. I guess this puts them on some definition of "tilt". I tend to break even serious players murder-intensive stares with a couple of jokes or assorted comments on the game state, whether I'm winning or losing. Saying that I'll spare you the agony of waiting until the end of this paragraph to tell you I won this 2-1. First game he played some dorks like Quasli Pridmages and a Trygon Predator I believe. All I remember is that Ichorids etc got there. Game two my what-the-fuck drive kicks into full gear as he lands Aether Spellbomb, what is this Mirrodin limited? He eventually kills me when he gets two Pridemage, Paths some Ichorids, and equips Jitte. Game three I turn one Therapy on Pridemage which hits home, snagging a copy. he doesn't seem to have anything relevant besides Aether again. He plays it and drops a creature or two at some point, but by the time it matters I have something like 12 zombies in play and I bash for the win. This was the first game I actually Dread Returned a creature, a Grave Troll who ate the Aether bump to clear the way for a lethal push.

    Match: 2-1 (1-2-0)

    Shits looking up I guess. I take the time to run with friends to the local Steak and Shake to grab something to eat, cant beat frisco melts on a bad beat tourney day! Got back just in time to play the next round against the only opponent whose name I remember.

    Round 4: Bob with Bant Survival

    Bob is a stand up guy. We chat a bit about the Source (he told me his user-name, but I can't remember) and once we begin playing and I realize what he's playing I make a comment about how I hoped he had acquired Loyal Retainers while they were $40, he had. Anyway, Game one I did stuff. Can't remember because I was too preoccupied with remembering his name. I beat him with zombies or something. Game two he mulled or something and I Unmask his Pridemage (I think?). I dredge stuff but don't have a therapy to clear his two Swords. He then lays a Survival that does nothing and I kill him quickly despite him Swords'ing two Ichorids. Was a hell of a guy who took the beats in stride.

    Match: 2-0 (2-2-0)

    Well I guess shit is starting to look up! At this point one friend had dropped to drive all the way back to Muncie to get his trade binder (a two hour trip there and back) that he eventually dumped for around $300. The Elf Survival deck had dropped.

    Round 5: Johnathan (I think) with Tempo Thresh

    I don't know about this match-up, but I feel favored. All I have to do is keep him off creatures right? He has what, 9 total? Game one I play what I believe is turn one Imp who of course doesn't get countered. In fact, by round 3 I had mentally said "fuck it" and started keeping really loose hands that just never got punished. I would always say "here comes a force!" and force there was not. So we go back and forth a bit with him bolting shit but eventually I get there on the back of slow dredging and the usual crew. Game two I honestly can't remember hardly anything of. I lost it, but I don't know how. Its blanked in my mind. He had Faerie Macabre. I didn't even know what the card was. All he took was bridges while he bolted or fired every creature I played. Game three was HILARIOUS. We go back and forth for what must of been 20 minutes while I dredge literally nothing while he can't draw a creature to save his life. I kept a hand that involved 3 Pimps, a land, and some dredgers. My turns are literally spent dredging, replacing a fallen Pimp, saying go for three turns straight. Its at this point that his very soft spoken and serious demeanor is broken at his outrage at not being able to find a creature. However, I have nothing to capitalize on his slowness. At some point I hard cast an Ichorid. We have a pretty fucking huge laugh about me playing fair Magic etc. That said, he eventually found like 3 creatures and beat me before the clock ran out. I ended the game with a bunch of dredgers, an Ichorid, and two Bridges in my hand. I'm pretty sure I misplayed by not discarding bridges during my discard step. Oh well, I have no chance of winning at this point anyway and the laughs were more than worth it.

    Match: 1-2 (2-3-0)

    Round 6: ANT

    I win the die roll and Unmask to see Land, two petals, infernal tutor and other shit. I take the Infernal then (I think) Therapy for two Petals. He can't really do anything and I then Dread Return Iona on black. Game two I attempt to mull into some hate in the form of Leyline that enters the game like a sneaky frat boy fucking a slutty stripper-bitch. However THE LEYLINE, IT DOES NOTHING/arnoldvoice because even with that + a resolved Therapy for LED that hits he combos out on turn 3 or something. It has to be noted that if he wouldn't of Chanted me during my last upkeep he would of lost his win to my then-drawn Unmask. Oh well. Game 3 I side out Leyline because of its uselessness and me not seeing IGGs in two matches. I keep a hand with sweet-ass dredgers and Imps, while he goes Land, Top, go. Next turn I dredge big money in the form of nothing and pass the turn. My Magic playing compatriot then combos out with a IGG playing an Ad Nasuem that gets him from 18 to 1 life in a hurry. However, because sweet baby Jesus loves me and not him he doesn't have the kill this turn but keeps a mean 7. I dredge a Nacromeba that might as well be a big dicked 20/20 if he can't find some way to stop me on his turn. He makes 8 Goblins. Nacromeba unzips his non-existant pants and cock-smacks the poor, poor combo player for the last point. At this point I realized that Nacromeba and or Ichorid have won me every game I have played. Get there little guys.

    Match: 2-1 (3-3-0)

    Round 7: Goblins

    These games are also hilarious, but not in a "Dredge scoops to a good match-up after playing nothing but lands" sort of way. He goes Fanatic go, to which I do stuff. Man I really wish I remembered more about what happened so that the people who read this that I played against would be less pissed off. Anyway, He maybe plays 1-2 other cards but I get there with Ichorids and 'Mebas once again. Game two is where the fun is ramped up to 11. He goes fanatic, go. I play shit. He plays, wait for it (its secret tech, take some time to think about it), Basilisk Collar! WHOA! Anyway, I do nothing (why did I keep this hand?) and pass. He gets in for 1 life and plays another fanatic. I Grudge the Collar (thats why I kept that hand I guess) and do something else. He blows his Fanatic on a Ichorid. He then eventually plays two other Fanatics that block and get rid of 2 Meb's and 2 Bridges. He's gone through all 4 in his deck now, has two lands in play and a full grip. He goes draw go for what had to of been 10 turns or something stupid while I desperately try to dredge into shit. I finally Therapy him for Matron and he reveals this: 3 Goblin Sharpshooter and 4 Goblin Ringleader. Wow. I take the Sharpshooters (which would ruin me/I doubt he is drawing anymore land) and start making Zombies. he doesn't get another land until I Iona for red with 6 zombies on board show up some turns later. This guy was a true playa, took the hilarity in stride and was a great sport.

    After this game I got to catch the end of Dr. Healix playing Bant Countertop against Chris Woltereck. They drew in a game that Healix would of won had he one or two more times to attack with a Noble Hierarch. Wow that sucks.

    Match 2-0 (4-3-0)

    Round 5: Sunny Lane playing "Wetbuns"?

    Yeah I know, insane right? Hot as fuck pornstar Sunny Lane plays Magic! She played some weird deck that involved me looking right at her ass the entire game. Oh wait that didn't happen. Maybe my opponent was playing Magic against Sunny Lane because he was too busy to show to our match. What a lucky guy.

    Match: 2-0 bye (5-3-0)

    Round 6: Countersliver

    I sat right next to this guy last round as he beat Charbelcher so I know what he's playing. He mulls while I run a Pimp out on turn one with no fear. He sticks and my opponent takes his turn doing something. I Therapy him on swords and nab one and pass the turn. He eventually plays a Muscle Sliver but I don't recall him playing anything else and I eventually beat face with something. Game two he mulls to 4. Yeah. I play a turn one Pimp again who discards a dredger. He Faeries it and I discard another. He does nothing but play two lands for next two turns while I DR Iona which is enough to beat his board of two lands, Plated Sliver.

    Match 2-0 (6-3-0)


    So, I end up 37th out of 286, one place ahead of Dr. Healix, my only friend left in the tourney. Never got a single rules infraction or a judge called on me for anything that I did wrong (round one the Merfolk player called a judge because he didn't understand how I could get a bridge token on a creature trade on my turn) and every opponent I played either was very fun and jolly from the get-go or got rolling on the stupid laughter train together after a while of playing. All and all it was definitely worth the money, I met a lot of really great people who all either browse or had heard of the Source, and I think I will be sticking with Dredge for the time being. Now time for slops and props:

    Props:

    Brendan and Alex for the ride
    Parcher, Adan, NGN etc for educating the masses of the greatness that is LED Dredge
    Parcher for making the SB guide I blatantly used every match
    Steak and shake for being awesome
    All my opponents for being chill human beings who were a blast to play against
    Dr. Healix for getting 10th on Saturday, getting 2 hours of sleep and going the first five rounds without dropping a match
    Starcity for having really great buyback prices for a dealer
    Sunny Lane for Distracting my opponent with her hot self and giving me a round 8 bye
    Emidln, who I talked to for about 5 seconds before he sold cards and Morbid who I think I met(?)
    My girlfriend who puts up with my Magic loving bullshit while still being her thin beautiful self.


    Slops:
    DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME
    Sunny Lane references which get me in trouble with my girlfriend
    Dredge and Reanimator for being hyped to the sky and beyond and then hardly placing at all


    See you in Columbus!
    Ich bin aueslander und sprechen nicht gut Deutsch

  2. #2
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    Re: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    Thanks for the report. The Merfolk match sounded like bad beats, but the Goblins second game was pretty wrong. Like I've said before, if you have a hand that wins in one turn, you keep it even in games two/three. The odds of you drawing an answer, or them not having/drawing relevant hate, are better than you mulliganing into a hand that has action and an answer.
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    Re: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    DUDE.

    Round 7 Goblins: 3 Sharpshooter and 4 Ringleader?! I sat next to you! And then we sat next to each other again the next round. LOL

    DCI Mogg Fanatics, right?

    You looked over at me and told me you enjoyed me accompanying you for both rounds
    Delver enthusiast and avid practitioner of blind flipsmanship.

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    Re: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Parcher View Post
    Thanks for the report. The Merfolk match sounded like bad beats, but the Goblins second game was pretty wrong. Like I've said before, if you have a hand that wins in one turn, you keep it even in games two/three. The odds of you drawing an answer, or them not having/drawing relevant hate, are better than you mulliganing into a hand that has action and an answer.
    Yeah, like I said it was really pathetic on my part. I think the fact that I lost game one then lost round one of game two against a deck I should destroy on paper put me in ultra preservation mode that wanted me to have a Grudge. Really should of kept that hand. Thinking about it though, not all is lost, if it weren't for that loss I wouldn't have all these great memories of laughs gone by!

    Quote Originally Posted by Morbid- View Post
    DUDE.

    Round 7 Goblins: 3 Sharpshooter and 4 Ringleader?! I sat next to you! And then we sat next to each other again the next round. LOL

    DCI Mogg Fanatics, right?

    You looked over at me and told me you enjoyed me accompanying you for both rounds
    Yep, that was me! That zoo player you played had a pretty dang baller Kird Ape. It was great quasi-meeting you and I'll be sure to introduce myself proper if you're at GP Columbus (which I assume we'll both be at). Hopefully we'll be side-by-side at the winners table and not the bottom brackets.
    Ich bin aueslander und sprechen nicht gut Deutsch

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    Re: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Meister_Kai View Post
    Yep, that was me! That zoo player you played had a pretty dang baller Kird Ape. It was great quasi-meeting you and I'll be sure to introduce myself proper if you're at GP Columbus (which I assume we'll both be at). Hopefully we'll be side-by-side at the winners table and not the bottom brackets.
    The feeling is mutual

    I need to tape a sign to my shirt or something that says, "if you're on The Source, say hi to me." I feel like there were so many missed opportunities to meet people. I met JACO there (sat near me R1) as well, but I know there were plenty others. Hopefully I don't get employed (if at all) too far from Columbus, I really wanna make it down there, but I am graduating in the Spring (yikes!). I think I want another shot at this 5K thing, it's unfortunate that you're in Indiana, I was looking ahead to the one in Philly towards the beginning of June as another chance to play close to home.
    Delver enthusiast and avid practitioner of blind flipsmanship.

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    Re: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Meister_Kai View Post
    Yeah, like I said it was really pathetic on my part. I think the fact that I lost game one then lost round one of game two against a deck I should destroy on paper put me in ultra preservation mode that wanted me to have a Grudge. Really should of kept that hand. Thinking about it though, not all is lost, if it weren't for that loss I wouldn't have all these great memories of laughs gone by!



    Yep, that was me! That zoo player you played had a pretty dang baller Kird Ape. It was great quasi-meeting you and I'll be sure to introduce myself proper if you're at GP Columbus (which I assume we'll both be at). Hopefully we'll be side-by-side at the winners table and not the bottom brackets.
    It's called Cabal Therapy, read it. If they are playing artifact hate all you needed was to flip e 1/2 Narcomoeba, 1/2 Therapies and 0/1 Bridges and you're set. Leyline and Ravenous trap is just another ball game.

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    Re: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    "Game two I see no lands in the first hand, a Cephalid, a troll, an LED, 2 Breakthroughs and other stuff which I didn't keep "

    cephalid sage?

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    Re: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    Quote Originally Posted by alderon666 View Post
    all you needed was to flip e
    It's called proof reading, do it. See, I can be a smarmy ass too! That said, you are right, that is something that just didn't enter my mind. I stack it up to my desperation and the fact that this is first tournament I have ever played the deck in. Not too shabby for first time though eh?

    Quote Originally Posted by stacker View Post
    "Game two I see no lands in the first hand, a Cephalid, a troll, an LED, 2 Breakthroughs and other stuff which I didn't keep "

    cephalid sage?
    Cephalid Coliseum, sorry, I should be more careful with abbreviations. I ran Parcher's Newest list which doesn't run the Sage, here it is for reference:

    4 Golgari, Grave Troll
    4 Stinkweed Imp
    3 Golgari Thug
    4 Narcomeoba
    4 Ichorid
    4 Putrid Imp
    1 Sadistic Hypnotist
    4 Breakthrough
    1 Iona
    4 Cabal Therapy
    4 Bridge from Below
    3 Unmask
    1 Deep Analysis
    3 Dread Return
    4 Lions Eye Diamond
    4 Cephalid Coliseum
    4 Gemstone Mine
    4 City of Brass

    sb
    1 Wispmare
    3 Tireless Tribe
    3 Ancient Grudge
    4 Leyline of the Void
    4 Chain of Vapor

    I took out the 1 Wispmare for one Tetradon (there are a good amount of people in Indy with access to Stax and Lands). List worked perfectly, I just didn't always utilize it correctly.
    Ich bin aueslander und sprechen nicht gut Deutsch

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    Re: [Report] I Suck At Writing but Get 37th at SCG Indy!

    Quote Originally Posted by Meister_Kai View Post
    Cephalid Coliseum, sorry, I should be more careful with abbreviations. I ran Parcher's Newest list which doesn't run the Sage, here it is for reference: .
    If it was was coliseum, I would've totally kept that hand on the play. LED, coliseum, breakthrough then LED in response so you can discard the Troll and have UU floating for DA. More likely than not, you would've hit both a narc and a therapy so you could make them discard any hate they could've had.

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