Lets hear the clever nicknames you've come up with for your pet cards. Here's one to get us started:

Emrakul, the Anus Torn.

Flavor text improvements:

With a little bit of sharpie work, Squee's Toy begins as:

As the horrors closed in on Gerrard, Squee trembled and clutched his toy for comfort. He didn't know where it came from or why it was so warm, but he was glad he'd kept it near.

and becomes

Squee trembled and clutched his toy. He came. It was so warm. He was glad.