The Worst Apocalypse

[serenechaos]

I always love a good Doomsday deck, and I always love bad decks in general, so why wouldn't I love a bad Doomsday deck?

The only impetus for building this was to use Rise of the Eldrazi. Draw 4 and Time Walk is the most perfect sequence of words for Doomsday, it's powerful on its own (if you have a billion mana), and it has uncounterable and Vindicate tacked on for gravy.

But 12 mana in a Doomsday deck? Petals and Dark Rits are not gonna do this for us. But I didn't have to think about the answer. There's only one deck famous for the ability to slam Emrakul mana.

Then we had to make the Pile. One friend wanted Aetherflux Reservoir, couple suggestions for Bauble or Profane Tutor loops from a Doomsday expert, but I had a Bolas's Citadel already and then I realized what it had to be. My nostalgia for the old Vintage Mind's Desire pile is so great that if I ever pull this off I will explode. Gain enough life with Glimmerposts, or hold one or two ready for the Doomsday and/or Time Walk turns (math works out better post-Doomsday); have Citadel out and cast Beacon until they die. With any luck a Citadel activation will save you a couple painful casts, and Time Walk lets you do at least one cast from hand.

4 Rise of the Eldrazi
4 Karn, the Great Creator
1 Ugin, the Spirit Dragon

4 Doomsday
1 Chromatic Orrery
1 Bolas's Citadel
1 Beacon of Destruction

4 Trinisphere
4 Sphere of Resistance

3 Expedition Map
2 Pithing Needle

4 Mox Diamond
4 Ancient Tomb
4 City of Traitors
4 Cloudpost
4 Glimmerpost
4 Vesuva
4 Thespian's Stage
1 Boseiju, Who Shelters All
1 Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
1 Dark Depths

Sideboard
4 Defense Grid
1 Wurmcoil Engine
1 Chromatic Orrery
1 Bolas's Citadel
1 Pithing Needle
1 Darksteel Citadel
1 Expedition Map
1 Blightsteel Colossus
1 Aetherflux Reservoir
1 Crucible of Worlds
1 Mirror of Fate

RotE plays great with Depths, which seems like a free include with the native land focus and Thespian's Stages. There's tension between Doomsday itself and the Citadel+Beacon plan, but the hope is that Glimmers and aforementioned alternatives like Citadel activation or casting from hand will cover enough; it's even possible that one could simply activate Citadel, go to the Time Walk turn, and then activate again. If you can't kill them by saccing 20 permanents, at least the game will still be decided.

Orrery is an enormous mana rock that also fixes colors and allows you to Boseiju your Doomsday (Sphere of Resistance also does this). Boy is that other ability sad, though.

Ugin is just a Big Dumb Thing, most other Big Dumb Thing will work too. Sundering Titan is kind of cute with Urborg.

One thing being discussed is Urza's Sagas, the tutor is very strong, a little slow in a deck already murdered by Wasteland, but it would allow very cute interactions like Cabal Coffers+Urborg (by reliably providing Maps). Seems a bit silly to me, I doubt the deck needs more mana. It would probably also require more targets, shifting downwards to mana costs that will be hit by our own Spheres.

I wouldn't recommend playing this, but I definitely will.

[FTW]

Since assembling mana is essential to your plan and it would be unfun otherwise, I'd cram the maindeck with land tutors.

4 Expedition Map
3 Golos (4th Golos in Karnboard instead of Map)

Vomit out all the Cloudposts. Backup plan: easy pivot to Depths.

Candelbra of Tawnos helps Post go really big. May help?

The math on Doomsday + Glimmerposts is awkward. It costs 15 life to cast Beacon 4 times=20 dmg (1st from hand + 3 from top). You need to be at 16+ life after Doomsday. That's 32+ life before Doomsday. That's not trivial with 0 removal in the deck. If you put 2 Glimmerposts in the Doomsday Pile, you won't need to be as high in life to win.

Maybe some All is Dust to at least try to stay alive long enough to get 12 mana?

[Zoid]

Aren't the resistors/3spheres a massive nonbo with Citadel?

[serenechaos]

Golos sounds like a great addition, probably over Ugin and in the last sideboard slot. WUBRG can be tricky, Vesuva/Stage copying opp's lands can help get there, but Orrery or multiple Diamonds will be necessary. But the ability itself is even perfect itself for Doomsday in general and especially the Beacon pile specifically, and the tutor will be bonkers.

All is Dust similarly sounds perfect, not sure how many to fit maindeck but it's a very solid removal spell if it can be managed reliably turn 3-4ish.

Candelabra would be very solid since the targets are so high, if my math is right, 2 clouds and 1 of either post with Candelabra can cast RotE with only 3 lands. I think it would be especially broken if we build Saga lists, tutoring up a Candelabra and winning on the spot seems very good. That may also be worth a Karnboard slot if I don't maindeck it.

I definitely think most DD piles are going to include 1-2 Glimmers. The math works better post-DD since any lifegain before is also halved. Unless you can pull of a pretty ridiculous life bomb with a couple of them during setup, DD is really going to make it uphill.

Maybe something like

-4 Diamond (lean on Post mana and fixing from Orrery/Urborg?)

or

-X Trinisphere (keeping at least 1, but it's useless in multiples)
-1 Ugin

+3 Golos
+1 Map from SB

+1 Candelabra to the SB
+1 Golos to the SB

[serenechaos]

Aren't the resistors/3spheres a massive nonbo with Citadel?

Not really, you can just untap from the Time Walk turn if you really need to and have a billion mana, you only need to pay for, at most, 21 mana (one Beacon from hand, 3 Citadel casts, under 4 Sphere of Resistance); if you need to, you can do all 4 casts off Citadel, at 16 mana, and ideally you already had at least 12 or 15 for DD+Rise. The deck is just inherently built to pay for anything and everything, so it will only be a serious problem if you have multiple Spheres out and your opponent attacks your mana mid-combo.

Edit: current 75

Main (60)
3 Golos, Tireless Pilgrim
4 Rise of the Eldrazi
4 Karn, the Great Creator
1 Ugin, the Spirit Dragon
1 Beacon of Destruction
4 Doomsday
2 All Is Dust
4 Expedition Map
2 Pithing Needle
4 Sphere of Resistance
4 Trinisphere
1 Bolas's Citadel
1 Chromatic Orrery
4 Ancient Tomb
1 Boseiju, Who Shelters All
2 City of Traitors
4 Cloudpost
1 Dark Depths
4 Glimmerpost
4 Thespian's Stage
1 Urborg, Tomb of Yawgmoth
4 Vesuva

Sideboard (15)
4 Lodestone Golem
1 Golos, Tireless Pilgrim
1 Wurmcoil Engine
1 Blightsteel Colossus
1 Candelabra of Tawnos
1 Pithing Needle
1 Crucible of Worlds
1 Aetherflux Reservoir
1 Mirror of Fate
1 Bolas's Citadel
1 Chromatic Orrery
1 Darksteel Citadel

Mostly just used the suggestions, only spice is Lodestone instead of Defense Grid; this deck seems like it's going to need any wincons it can get. Didn't have trouble finding slots, I had accidentally ended up on like 27 or 28 lands before.

[FTW]

Hmm the more I think about it the Spheres could slow you down a lot.

Sphere punishes the player casting the most expensive spells or trying to play multiple spells a turn. Sphere could slow you down more than it slows down opponents, especially if you need to cast spells to get your mana engine online (Map, Karn, Golos).

Trinisphere doesn't affect your big spells, but it does make each Beacon cost 5 life + 3 colorless. If you cast all 4 Beacons from library to save mana, it's 20 life + 12 mana (post-Doomsday), so you have to worry about both life and mana. Even against a goldfish, it could take 10+ turns to reach enough mana and life to go off through your own Spheres.

I assume you want to keep the core combo & engine of the deck, so this is a matter of finding the right support cards. 8spheres might not be the way to go. If you manascrew yourself it'll be unfun to play.

You could try Chalice, maindeck Lodestone Golem or maybe Thought-Knot Seer.

[serenechaos]

After thinking through a few lines, I agree that Thought Knot Seer is way better than Trinisphere. It misses our archenemy, but there isn't a lot of other defense in the maindeck so it gives a solid thoughtseize+4/4 body combo.

Also, FTW, Low Tide isn't dead, just haven't been to weeklies in a long time lol. This week I played Leyline Mulligan, and next week RotE still won't be legal, but this is definitely my next piece of nonsense.

[FTW]

If you want another colorless Time Walk effect, there's of course The One Ring.