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Thread: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

  1. #1

    I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    So I played the Starcity SCG legacy this weekend in Atlanta. I was 50/50 about playing or doing superbowl stuff ... but I figure I'd play something with high risk, high reward and have fun with it. It's not often you get to play $1,200 worth of the same white enchantment.

    I start the day off by heading over to diversify my Armageddons with 2 x Ravages of War. SCG has only japanese ones and wants $200 for them. Even though the case says, $150, 180, 200. $200 being a fair price for english ones. So that kind of pisses me off and only makes me want to bath in the misery and tears of my opponents even more.

    Now. I don't consider myself to be very practiced at MTG anymore. I played quite a bit when I was younger, but I basically play once maybe twice a week now and don't take the game too seriously anymore. I still like to win though and I prefer to win with something I've made and not what some unbathed douche wrote about on the internet on a card store site to sell more Show and Tells.

    Here's what I played:







    Moat stompy. It's a chalice deck with 4 moats, a bunch of white fliers, and taxings effects. Most notably this card:



    Again, I'm not terribly good at magic. But I understand what a fucking activated ability is. I can tell you from Sunday that 6 out of 8 legacy players don't.

    Also, yes that's a misers Baneslayer ... I couldn't decide between 4 Mincensors or 4 O-rings and I ended up splitting when I saw a good bit of internet show and tell and tucked the other 2 rings in the board.

    Round 1: Guy on whatever won the last GP. So this match was pretty close all along, I was able to resolve most of my spells including Chalice 1, and (multiple) suppression field(s) in all three games. I believe he got the first, though he got a warning for trying to activate a fetch without paying 2. Game 2 I get all my lock pieces out and 2 fields and win with multiple angels. Game 3 we are a little tight on time having so many judge calls, getting the text for the same card multiple times etc.. I have pretty good board position, a moat, windborn, resoration angel and I'm sandbagging a couple of angels in case he supreme verdicts. But he twice doesn't pay Windborn Muse mana when he attacks (making the same error twice, on the same card, in the same game). So that's his 3rd GRV and he gets a game loss. Needless to say his vagina was pretty salty. I pointed out that its an eternal format, and knowledge of the card pool and how cards work is part of winning and losing. He mocks my chinese cards, throws a dip in and goes on his way.

    1-0 (edit: I'm a Phantom Tiger)

    Round 2: Nice Junk Guy who top decked 3 lands and cast KotR. First game I remember getting my threat STPed but being able to geddon with chrome mox and a flagstones and him on 4 lands with no threat and me with Trinisphere out. Pretty much a win. Not so much, he goes land, land, land KOTR punch your groin. I draw 2 more trinispheres and an ancient tomb. He also got a warning for fetching with Suppression Field out and not paying. Game two I get early chalice to stop discard, a moat and double angel. By the time he digs out it's too late and abrupt decay doesn't kill 4 mana ghostly prisons, or 6 mana 4/5 lifelinkers. Game three I thought I had him behind but couldn't draw Cataclysm or Geddon to lock him. He kept playing out his lands and I was wondering why in the world he'd do that vs. an Armageddon deck. But he had also run a GSZ for 0 into a chalice on 1 and an IoK into a chalice on 1 (building storm maybe?). Turns out he was going to GSZ a fucking Sigarda out and beat the unholy shit out of me with her. Which he did. Pretty humiliating to die to another decks angel.

    1-1 (I'm a Raging Goblin)

    Round 3: Round 3 - Goblin Guy. Game one went like this



    Game two I didn't slam one of my four moats but did slam a turn one morph, turn two exalted angel, turn 3 windborn muse, turn 4 armageddon. He also got a warning for fetching with Suppression Field out. Despite me saying, 'If you have any questions about how this card interacts with your lands you should call a judge'. I would repeat this constantly ... and people would still fucking run into it like a Kardashian on a rapper.

    2-1 (I'm a Lynx)

    Round 4: Guy who occasionally plays at SG on RU Delver - Game one is super tight, he wins the roll, gets a guide and a natural flipped delver. Eventually I'm able to lock him up with armageddon and he is only drawing fetch lands (I have fields out). Of course ... he got a warning for fetching without paying as well. He gets me all the way down to one life ...but I have chalice one out. A blocker. A Trinisphere. A Field. After I geddon I consider playing land but I think his only out is like land, land, land price you. So I just wait and play plains o-ring his delver and beat him from 20 down to zero with angels. Game 2 he gets the play again and burns me out pretty quick, dazing anything I play that matters. Game 3 I get chalice 1 and he just can't deal. Turns out he had no artifact removal at all. Baneslayer beheads him.

    3-1 (6 opponent GRVs) (I'm a Porcelain Legionnaire)

    Round 5: MUD Welder - Game one he's on the play and has the nut draw. Turn one trinisphere. Only problem is ... I'm playing a deck that also wants a fast 3ball. 2 turns later I have an angel and suppression fields and a chalice on 1 for any welders he might draw, his lodestone comes way too late. He also reads suppression fields oracle text and then puts his mox opal off to the side like it has herpes. Game two he gets a decent start and eventually I get muse to hold off his stuff. Suppression field is out and he has tomb, tomb and tapped monolith. He looks at his monolith and the 2 tombs and I immediately think 7. Spine. SPINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!



    I love me some fucking Spine of Ish-Shah. So he passes the turn and I swing in with Mindcensor and Resto. Putting him to 8. He taps both ancient tombs. And I say, 'I have you at 4?' he agrees. He then grabs his tapped grim monolith and I kind of give him the 'you done fucked up' look. He realizes monolith costs 6 to untap under



    Turns out he had spine for my ass but indeed made an error.

    4-1 (6 opponent GRVs) (I'm a Keldon Vandal)

    I'm feeling pretty decent right now and I've played a couple of bad match ups.

    Round 6: Merfolk guy who actually knew how magic cards worked. He wins the die roll and wins game one on the play. I win game 2 on the play, He wins game 3 on the play. Whoever was on the play was going to win these games. Though I will say in three games I put neither a Moat or a Cataclysm on the stack. It turned out he actually had no flyers or bounce and was stone fucking cold dead as Micheal Jackson to Moat. It was refreshing to play against somebody who knew what

    4-2 (I'm a Fallen Cleric)

    Round 7: BUG Socially awkward penguin. This round starts with a bizarre scene. We're at the end of a table and I sit down and the pair to my left is sitting down. My opponent shows up and begins a strange incoherent rant about how he's friends with the guy sitting to my left and doesn't want to reveal to this friends any cards that said friends opponent might have in his hand to him. Which I read as, 'I'm going to cheat in conjunction with my friend if I sit on this side of the table'. So I happen to know the 4th player in this bizarre situation and he points out, 'I'm friends with your opponent as well' at which point BSAP yells 'Judge!'. So now I'm like WTF is this fucking fruitball up to. In the end the judges are as confused as I am and I finally volunteer to switch seats to thus not tempt BSAP to cheat (I guess? I have no fucking idea). The actual match was much less exciting than the attempted psyche out. Game one I resolve chalice on 1 and crush with threats he can't deal with. Game 2 he gets a couple of delvers, I'm unable to land a chalice or find a suppression field. White leyline kept my hand safe, but I was short threats. Game three I'm back on the play so out goes white leyline. I'm able to land Chalice 1 (and eventually a second in case of decay), he dies to resto angel with like 7 1 mana spells in hand when I O-ring a tombstalker.

    5-2 (I'm Eron the Relentless!)

    Tired. No top 8. Oh well. I think I'll head home ... what's this ... feature match, sweet! I'm in.

    Round 8: Guy with sweet beta volcanics and internet RUG delver. I actually win the roll and land chalice one off an ancient tomb. Which should win like 96% of all RUG delver matches. But he gets double wasteland, double tarmogoyf and I draw like no mana. He finally starts Mind Rotting himself to grow goyf and kills me after I find no mana in 7 turns. Game two again I open on an early trinisphere. Which should also crush delver. I eventually pass turn with him having land, land fetch and (i think) me with field. He goes to eot fetch and I flash mindcensor in. So of course of the SIX remaining lands in his whole deck he finds a volcanic in the top 4 ... he then goes infinite with loam / wasteland. Grudges my mox, etc. I could have played an unimpeded Rest in peace or a morphed Angel. I choose to deploy the threat. Maybe the rest in peace would have been better since it turned out he couldn't remove it. Anyway he also got a warning for running a mongoose out for 1 with a trinisphere out.

    5-3 (7 opponent GRVs) (I'm a Juggernaut)

    I dropped to rest and drink water and pop ibuprofen rather then slog through another round for $50.

    Props:

    - Judges for siding with me on every single ruling
    - Suppression Field for shitting in everyones cereal
    - phazmanout for putting the kinder von korlis to better use than anti-storm sideboard cards for cavern of humans
    - georgia tech for once again dominating these atlanta opens

    Slops:

    - Round 1 opponent, for being mad at me because he didn't know how magic cards worked
    - Round 7 guy, for whatever he was trying to do at the start of the match
    - Moat, for not being there when I needed you
    - Gwinician Center, for banning food and drink but not selling fucking coffee
    - To the bead convention going on next door, for not having anal beads (I asked?)
    Last edited by nedleeds; 02-05-2013 at 02:29 PM.

  2. #2
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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    This report is fucking excellent. I've never laughed so hard at a children's card game.

    Were you on camera? I couldn't find your match in the video archive.
    Languages and dates for every set. For all you true pimps.

  3. #3

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    One of the best reports I have ever read, and If I can manage to save up the ridiculous amount of money I would need to build this pile of cardboard, I want to make this deck.
    Belcher
    Delver
    Dredge

    When your heart won't beat, your eyes go black
    There's a light in the tunnel and you can't turn back
    Your friends can't save you, your family's gone
    You're waiting on your judgment at the foot of the throne
    Will you beg for some mercy? Will you cop some pleas?
    Will you stand on your own or get down on your knees?
    Will your angels release you from where demons dwell?
    Will you make it into Heaven or go right back to Hell?
    Only time will tell

  4. #4

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Quote Originally Posted by phazonmuant View Post
    Were you on camera? I couldn't find your match in the video archive.
    Would you put me on camera? I looked like fucking Rorschach with my black eyes.

  5. #5
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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Too bad. Do you know how many Moats you pinned under Chrommox?
    Languages and dates for every set. For all you true pimps.

  6. #6

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Quote Originally Posted by phazonmuant View Post
    Too bad. Do you know how many Moats you pinned under Chrommox?
    At least 3. One opponent said, 'You don't see that every day.' ... perhaps I'll keep this deck together for Wednesday in case someone wants to give it a rip. I'll play something with flyers .... or maybe combo.

  7. #7
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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Excellent report. From the matches I watched and my experiences with various chalice decks, 20 lands and 4 moxes might be a bit low. I played 20 in Dragon Stompy with spirit guides moxes & seething song, 26 and 4 mox diamonds in Armageddon Stax, and 20 in Faerie Stompy with actual card draw (SoFI and mull drifter).

    I think you want to be right around 22 lands for something like this, possibly horizon canopy so you can convert them to cards going long.

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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Quote Originally Posted by nedleeds View Post
    Would you put me on camera? I looked like fucking Rorschach with my black eyes.
    Irrelevant. I wish they would have put you on camera, if only for the LOLs. I think the camera feature that round was Stoneblade v. Elves and Elves mulliganed a billion times.
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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Great report, loved reading all the Suppression Field fails by your opponents.

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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Sir you are my hero!

    I wonder who's the Round 1 "Guy on whatever won the last GP. ".




    I prefer to win with something I've made and not what some unbathed douche wrote about on the internet on a card store site to sell more Show and Tells.

  11. #11
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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Quote Originally Posted by rnightingale View Post
    Sir you are my hero!

    I wonder who's the Round 1 "Guy on whatever won the last GP. ".
    According to the pairings, it was Drew Volf. His vagina was very sandy after getting game-lossed round 1.
    Languages and dates for every set. For all you true pimps.

  12. #12

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Excellent report.

  13. #13

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Quote Originally Posted by phazonmuant View Post
    According to the pairings, it was Drew Volf. His vagina was very sandy after getting game-lossed round 1.
    Suppression Field is amazing for Game-Lossing your opponents. As is 3Sphere.

  14. #14

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    You sir... are a god.
    Quote Originally Posted by thefringthing View Post
    baghdadbob, you're Team Scrubbad's spirit animal.

  15. #15
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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Great Wall Plains in a mostly Chinese deck. Hilarious.

    You sir, troll like no other.
    Tusk up.

    Quote Originally Posted by Finn View Post
    Just fucking ban the 600 pound gorilla and be done with it. FFS

  16. #16

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Quote Originally Posted by alphastryk View Post
    Excellent report. From the matches I watched and my experiences with various chalice decks, 20 lands and 4 moxes might be a bit low. I played 20 in Dragon Stompy with spirit guides moxes & seething song, 26 and 4 mox diamonds in Armageddon Stax, and 20 in Faerie Stompy with actual card draw (SoFI and mull drifter).

    I think you want to be right around 22 lands for something like this, possibly horizon canopy so you can convert them to cards going long.
    Yes I was definitely a greedy mofo. The full 4 Flagstones would have been a better call as well. Karakas and a Field don't work great together anyway and Karakas is 70% for show decks 30% for bouncing Gaddock Teeg.

    Chalice decks are rarely going to win any 9 round tourney because they eventually get bad hands, or wastelandable keeps. I think my RUG match was a classic example of that. You don't have all the crutch cards like Brainstorm, Ponder and Top to smooth out mediocre hands and eventually it catches up to you. The trade off is of course that landing a chalice / 3ball means going in dry on the decks that do rely on said crutch cards.

  17. #17

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Quote Originally Posted by whienot View Post
    Great Wall Plains in a mostly Chinese deck. Hilarious.

    You sir, troll like no other.
    The great wall kept out the mouth breathing mongolian hordes. That and it kind of looks like a moat. I need 2 more S-Chinese EAs. Or 3 T-Chinese to get them matching. Chrommox is not debatable. I'm on the hunt for 2 chinese Ravages of War as well that will look cool and provide a nice boost in value.

  18. #18
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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Love the China plains and all the T-Chinese goodies.
    T: @feingersh

  19. #19
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    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Player induced GRV are hilarious. For clarity, did your opponents begin to search their deck and you had to stop their shenaniganzing?
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  20. #20

    Re: I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

    Howdy,

    Great report. At 1-0 you could be People of the Woods or Phantom Tiger.

    Cheers,
    trying to help

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