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Thread: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

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    The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute





    That is exactly what it felt like just nut drawing people left and right.

    You saw the Prelude:

    http://www.mtgthesource.com/forums/s...gacy-Challenge


    There was only one way to go after that.










    Donkey Rolling Through Baltimore: 1st Place Legacy Classic feat. PImp Dredge





    Just look at the art on Breakthrough. The dude has absolutely zero idea what is happening. And that basically sums up what happened all day for me in the Open. So many disgusting opening hands combined with the fact that decks right now are not prepared to deal with dredge at all. Every single match you just sit there at the table and you literally can't spill your library into your yard fast enough. At the end of most turn 1's even though you're just sitting there in your chair, both you and your opponent know that you're really standing on table just donkey rolling like a G.


    Here is what I sleeved up:

    PImp Dredge

    http://sales.starcitygames.com//deck...?DeckID=117464

    4 Putrid Imp
    4 Street Wraith
    4 Lion's Eye Diamond

    4 Golgari Grave-Troll
    4 Stinkweed Imp
    4 Golgari Thug

    4 Faithless Looting
    4 Breakthrough

    4 Cabal Therapy

    4 Bridge from Below
    4 Narcomoeba
    4 Ichorid

    4 Mana Confluence
    4 Gemstone Mine
    2 City of Brass
    2 Cephalid Coliseum


    Sideboard:

    4 Firestorm
    3 Wear/Tear
    1 Ancient Grudge
    2 Faerie Macabre
    1 Memory's Journey
    2 Dread Return
    1 Ashen Rider
    1 Iona, Shield of Emeria



    How did I arrive at this concoction? I have to take you back to the moments and hours following the Top 8. Rumors started circling that there was a report. A tournament report. A tournament report that would finally end the war between ANT and TES players over which was the better storm deck. A report that might be the second best report of all time, trailing only The Report. People were getting hype. Expectations were through the roof. At the time I believed that I was the one destined to deliver it. That would mean somehow building upon the already great Prelude and writing an even better report. It was in these moments that I remembered the Prophecy. I then understood. The vision was now clear to me.


    We have to go back even further. Back to the night of April 23, 2017, one day away from the latest banned and restricted announcement. I was soundly asleep with dreams of goblin welders and red blasts in my head when there it was: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All Time. It was foreign, I had never read it before. Somehow, this report had slipped under my radar, which is odd since I love tournament reports probably even more than showing up at events after disappearing for months at a time and then winning it all. It revealed itself to me and said that Sensei's Divining Top was going to be banned the next day and that Strawberry Shortcake was the real reason for the banning. It also said that Miracles was to be the scapegoat in the announcement, since Wizards needed to keep the Shortcake banning hush-hush. I had so many questions to ask, yet somehow I understood. It dawned on me. The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All Time was never actually written!











    Of course. How could I have missed it.

    Lejay’s Strawberry Shortcake GP Top 8 Secret Scrolls. Lost to time. Poof



    And so, bringing it all the way back to the hours following the finals win, the prophecy finally made sense. The Unwritten Report. The one that could end the war. The one that could be spoken of in the same breath as The Report. I knew I would never be able to recreate it. I was just blessed to have been chosen by the report as the one it would reveal itself to. My mission then: to write the Second Greatest Tournament Report of All Time, Tribute.


    April 24. Sensei's Divining Top is banned. There are riots in the threads. Miracles haters rejoicing, Painters crushed. But those in the know knew that Miracles could never die. It would retreat and lie in wait for the opportune time to rear its head. Shortcake on the other hand faded away, just like Wizards was hoping when they said they were 'nerfing' miracles. I experimented with a few random lists to see what it would be like for about a week but I could already tell it would never be the same. More prison style builds would survive, but the funky combo-focused build was too inconsistent anymore. So after that I basically just stopped playing legacy for most of the summer and spent the time surfing in Santa Cruz.


    Flash forward again and I'm back East in Mordor and starting to look into Legacy again. I had been playing a fair amount of TES and 'normal' dredge when I started to grow annoyed with my current dredge build, a basically more classic build centered around careful studies and the full set of coliseums. I felt like there were too many times where either I didn’t have a black creature for Ichorid, or if I did, it would be my only dredger. I also didn’t really like how important cards would get stuck in my hand when I didn’t start the game with LED. Enter Putrid Imp. That little homie basically solved all the problems I had with the build. I also took some ideas from TES and incorporated them into a weird dredge variant that eschewed careful study completely and chopped coliseums in favor of Street Wraith, increasing the decks early power and lessening the impact of cards like daze, wasteland, or chalice at the same time. I always liked TES more than ANT just because of its ability to go off underneath the opponent's interaction and dump out goblins if it wanted to. Putrid Imps and Street Wraiths really increased the amount of turn 1 dredging and likelihood of bringing back an ichorid on turn two, which in the current meta is already too much for almost every deck in the format.


    Dredge was also nowhere to be seen, which made it the primo choice to crush a tournament. The only graveyard deck showing up consistently was R/B reanimator, the belcher of graveyard decks, and that was mostly due to its low price. Everyone assumed they could get by on countermagic and deathrite shaman, and then surgical postboard, to combat graveyard shenanigans. I always remembered people like Parcher in the dredge thread saying when you know exactly what hate you have to plan for, its gets super easy to play against. And in the current meta, there is basically no hate. PImp Dredge deck just plows through countermagic, can set up ichorids extremely quick, and then on top of it has the added benefit of the patented Street Wraith Turn One Super Nut, where you can get Breakthrough/Looting/Wraith into 7+ dredge combos.
    Testing was going great. I played a lot of leagues and cashed almost every single one. But I could not for the life of me get a 5-0. Infinite 4-1s. I would start with a loss and finish with four straight wins and follow that up with a 4-0 before losing the final round. And considering how fast rounds would go and how many turn 1 donkey rolls you got you could play a decent number of games. I finally broke through with the Prelude, but more importantly picked up a PImp-lyfe ally. Orim67 brought some much needed exposure to the list by getting the elusive 5-0s I couldn't and also notched a Challenge top 8. I knew the list was straight gas at that point and finished up almost all the deck in paper in time to roll out to Baltimore.

    Sunday morning came around and I scooped up my two homies to drive up to the event, saying we have to park in that same random parking garage because we always do. I borrow the two street wraith I need to finish the list, seatings and pairings went up, and it was time to roll out




    Round 1 vs High Tide

    Game 1: I promptly lose the roll and keep a hand that can develop quickly with any draw effect, while my opponent went to 6. Therapy, Land, LED, Wraith, Dredgers type of hand. Fetch, Island, ponder for his turn 1. My initial plan when I kept the hand was to therapy and then just led/wraith blind yolo dredge when it turned out to be miracles. I chose to name Show and Tell as that was the only realistic card I would be worried about the following turn. I saw a pair of Deltas, High Tide, Preordain, and Meditate. I began my dredging but couldn't piece together a long chain. By turn 3, I managed to dredge far enough into my deck where I was able to swing for 14 between all my creatures and put my opponent to 5 life with 2 fetches in play, essentially forcing him to go off this turn. Dropped a 4th land and began. There was a clutch brainstorm in the early stages that drew something like high tide, time spiral, and scroll/turnabout, and he was able to lethal brainfreeze.

    Side: +2 Dread Return, +1 Iona, Shield of Emeria. -1 Ichorid, -2 Putrid Imp

    Game 2: I lead on another early therapy for High Tide and miss again, this time seeing Brainstorm, Scroll, Turnabout, and a mix of fetches and a land. I liked going for the combo piece and checking for surgical/force since my hand could realistically beat either of those. Land pass. My 2nd turn I go for a looting and get in a wraith activation. Another land from my opponent, and then on my turn I play out a third land and flashback looting. I hit an Iona along the way, but still haven't uncovered one of the D-returns. My actual creature count was still quite low but enough cabal therapies had done some damage. Another land, go. I proceed to flashback another looting, going down to 10 life from gold lands and still can't find a dread return. There are only like 10 cards left at this point. I have lethal next turn, but my opponent's draw step can't help out his pretty depleted hand.

    Game 3: This was one of the closest games of the entire tournament. I know that 6 of my cards were Gold Land, 2x Therapy, Wraith, LED, Thug so I either kept a blank or mulled and scryed a blank to the bottom. I'm hoping that I can stall the game the first two turns with the therapies long enough to draw a breakthrough or a looting. I go for high tide and whiff again, seeing Cunning Wish, Brainstorm, Scroll and 3 fetches. Land go and I drew a 3rd therapy. I play the 2nd and get met by a brainstorm, name turnabout and end up seeing a flusterstorm and a high tide. Of course I missed again and had kept the Merchant Scroll. So that's a massive 0-4 to start the day. I drop down the LED afterwards to stop flusterstorm. Opponent doesn't do anything and I Cabal Therapy for the 3rd straight turn. That's met by another brainstorm and the choice really comes down to do I name High Tide or start climbing the Inception Levels for potentially Turnabout.



    I actually started going through them. He'll put high tide on top so I'll name turnabout, but he knows I'll think that and keep High tide, then I start thinking well High-tide is the best card here it has to be hidden, then go climb another level to counteract all of that and settle on going with high tide, when I crash back to reality and remember that its 10:30am and its round 1. Homie will definitely be hiding high tide to go off next turn. I name turnabout and nab two. I know that at this point I need to start doing stuff because the following turn Cunning Wish would likely be grabbing whatever nasty grave hate was in the board. I drop my LED, crack it for Red and Wraith in response, dropping a lonely thug into my yard. I miraculously hit a faithless looting and a stinkweed imp, and chain into another stinkweed imp to finish looting. No narcomoeba's but I have a few Ichorids and a fully stacked bullet chamber of 4 therapies. All he can do for his turn is draw the high tide. On my turn I go for the natural draw to play around ravenous trap. With the full discard package I take it down over the course of the next few turns.

    1-0



    Round 2 vs MUD

    Game 1: I see on the pairings I'm up against an old Baltimore homie who also played various Painter builds. I win the die roll and fan open a Donkey Roll. Breakthrough into LED and its deep. I don't remember if I hit a looting or not, the T1 breakthrough usually just induces temporary blackouts where you only come to as you sign the match slip. I therapy for brainstorm and see MUD staring back. Cavern, 2 Wastelands, City of Traitors, Mox Diamond, Metalworker, Forgemaster. Turn 1 Metalworker ship it. I bring back 3 ichorids and swing in for 11 and therapy for the forgemaster. That ended up being all she wrote.

    Side: +4 Firestorm, +3 Wear/Tear, +1 Ancient Grudge, +2 Dread Return, +1 Ashen Rider. -4 Putrid Imp, -4 Breakthrough, -2 Golgari Thug, -1 Ichorid.

    Game 2: I open up a pretty decent postboard hand for this matchup. 2 Gold Land, Firestorm, Wear/Tear, Faithless Looting, Street Wraith, Bridge. I get slapped in the face with a turn 1 Trinisphere. Boomshocks. I drop lands and wait for a third and for dredgers. A little bit of draw go goes on, when the staring contest is broken with a wurmcoil engine. I draw my 3rd land and have to decide to either kill the wurm or trinisphere with wear/tear. I chose the robot hoping to stall but that was probably wrong. I should have just hit the trini, and hoped that my looting would find the nuts. It really didn’t matter as there was no dredger coming. An Ugin ruined me a few turns later.

    Side: Drop down to 2 firestorms and 2 ichorids to accomodate a number of breakthroughs coming back in

    Game 3: I fan open some bananas and go for the Donkey Roll. Graveyard looking fresh as hell, stacked. I therapy naming Grim Monolith and miss as usual and then make some more zombies and knife the metalworker. His turn consists of Ancient Tomb and Greaves. I dredge a lil bit more and then dread return Ashen Rider and cabal therapy sac it to exile his board. Yup.

    2-0



    Round 3 vs Show and Ape

    Game 1: I lose the roll and he mulls to 5 while I go all the way down to 4. I keep LED, Land, Ichorid, and Bridge. I scry something temporarily useless to the bottom and play proceeds with a misty rainforest pass. I draw a faithless looting and figure I have to jam and pray at this point since I’m already at 4 cards. It resolves and I manage to draw a dredger. I play the LED and flashback. I get a narcomoeba and therapy him. I figured at this point he couldn't have any of brainstorm, ponder, force, daze, deathrite, hierarch etc and that the only logical deck it could be was ANT. I name dark ritual and am shocked to see 2 Flusterstorms sitting there to go along with a sneak attack and a griselbrand. Ummmm yeaaa. The beatdown party ends a few turns later

    Side: -1 Ichorid, -1 Golgari Thug, -2 Putrid Imp. +2 Dread Return, +1 Ashen Rider, +1 Iona, Shield of Emeria

    Game 2: This didn’t really end up being much of a game. My opponent kept a fast hand that was lacking a creature, while I was able to get the dredge engine going on turn 1. When I therapied his hand I saw 2x lotus Petal, Through the Breach, Sneak Attack, Echoing Truth, and an ancient tomb, so the potential was certainly there. His draw step didn’t help him, yielding something like a fetch, which he dropped to keep up echoing truth. I had a ton of bridges in the yard, with narcomoebas at the ready. I go ahead and sac a zombie token to flashback therapy rather than another narc, since I didn’t want to lose more zombies than I had to. He truths my zombies in response, and I take both petals. From there I dread return ashen rider and sac it towards the other dread return to exile his lands and bring back Iona on red for the game.




    3-0



    Round 4 vs R/B Reanimator

    Game 1: I sit down for this round and immediately my opponent asks me what my record is. Uhhh 3-0 aren’t you? He’s like naa I’m 2-0-1. I think to myself, great this is going to be something like lands where they can crop rotate into bog and murder you, or some deathrite control deck, or some dnt or stoneforge deck. On top of that, now I’m paired down and my breakers are going to be shit. I win the roll and look at a hand of Gold Land, 2x LED, Thug, Therapy, Bridge, Ichorid. It was certainly keepable for the potential grind factor with speed upside, but I decided to mull as I didn’t really feel like playing a grindy game and many times with the scry rule now it’s almost better to go to 6 than to keep 7 with dredge. My 6 had LED, Land, Grave Troll, Breakthrough and the other two didn’t even matter at that point. Donkey. My opponent was unfamiliar with how dredge worked as well, and before I flashbacked my faithless looting I made sure to therapy him and hope he didn’t scoop yet. I named deathrite shaman and was even more shocked than I was in round 3 at those unused flusterstorms when I saw red/black reanimator. How the fuck does rb reanimator draw. Dark ritual, entomb, reanimate, thoughtseize, 2x griselbrand and he had kept the scry on top. My looting gets me two more therapies and I take dark ritual and reanimate. He draws a lotus petal and entombs for tidespout tyrant, but my yard is too giant and a few swings later I take game 1.

    Side: -2 Ichorid, -1 Thug, -4 Pimp. +2 Dread Return, +1 Iona, +1 Ashen Rider, +2 Faerie Macabre, +1 Memory’s Journey

    Game 2: I look at a normal seven card hand and ship it back, as it was lacking grave hate or the ultra speed the matchup required. My 6 is basically as good as I could hope for. Grave Troll, Macabre, 2x Therapy, Gold Land, Street Wraith. My opponent goes to 6 as well begins the game with a chancellor, and then unmasks himself to pitch the chancellor, revealing Show and Tell, Petal, and Reanimate. He drops petal and targets the chancellor. Of course I have the stone cold nuts in this case in Macabre, as it gets through the chancellor protection, leaving only a show and tell in his hand. I still can’t get the dredging going yet so I therapy him to get rid of the chancellor effect, but he forgets the trigger anyways and I take the show and tell. The rest of the game is just me pitching the grave troll to the other therapy and then wraithing it to get started. My dredges line up well enough in the next turns where I reanimate Iona on black to seal it.

    Dude was super chill about the match and he ended up mentioning that he was at UC San Diego after seeing my UC Santa Cruz shirt. He was just starting legacy after playing some standard and modern so we just talked shop for a little bit.

    4-0



    Round 5 vs Miracles

    Game 1: Miracles was now standing here undefeated, lending more credence than ever to the Prophecy. Game 1 was a slow slog like most games vs miracles are, but this time there’s no Sensei Top to make you constantly fear Terminus. An Ichorid of mine gets plowed at one point, but the rest of the cards I saw (Brainstorm, Back to Basics, Jace, Predict, Force, and Supreme Verdict) were not enough to slow down the train.

    Side: -4 Breakthrough, -2 Thug. +4 Firestorm, +3 Wear/Tear

    Game 2: This might be the most embarrassing game of magic I have ever played. I became the Ape that Nedleeds always warned about. Here’s the scenario. I spend my first turn cracking an LED with a looting and getting about half my library into my yard without any regard to a potential rest in peace or containment priest. My opponent plays his second land and passes. So for my second turn, I bring back two ichorids and dredge into a third one. His two untapped lands look eerily like a snapcaster mage trying to block my ichorid and kill my lone bridge so I use a therapy pre-combat to make a zombie and snipe one. Here is where I was a complete idiot. I put the flashbacked therapy as well as the ichorid into the exiled zone and didn’t notice it. He ended up playing a Mentor and then casting surgical during my upkeep targeting my bridges. I completely forgot that my third ichorid wasn’t in the yard and let him search my deck for the other bridges to get rid of them. Only after I exile the bridges and look in my exile zone do I see the other ichorid, at which point I bring it up to my opponent and offer to let him rewind his surgical if he wanted to change his mind and go after the ichorids. Basically a bystander was like wtf is going on here and called a judge, which ended up in a stoppage of like 5+ minutes as they spoke to everyone. I proceed to explain how much of an idiot I was for being sloppy and we go back to my upkeep with the ichorid returned.

    I knew something like this could end up being a problem and was actively trying to make sure to keep everything separate throughout the day and avoid exactly this situation happening. The actual physical part of playing paper dredge was going to be the hardest thing to get used to, as I had only ever played dredge at a handful of local weekly events with 4 rounds max. I was so used to playing Painter in paper legacy over the years, with the setup of putting my deck in the top right of my playmat with my graveyard on the right side behind my deck. For Dredge, I like to have my graveyard in long lines on the left hand side of my playmat, with my exile zone behind my deck.

    So the aftermath, I let my opponent decide if he wants the bridges or the ichorids, and the decision is that the bridges are gone. On top of it all I couldn’t remember if I had already dredged for that turn or not and neither could my opponent. I had a golgari grave troll in my hand and I counted up my yard and exile zone to try to determine if I had, but I was so flustered and out of it after the entire situation that I thought I must have just brought the troll back to my hand. Thinking about the game in hindsight now, the troll was from the previous turn when I dredged into the third Ichorid, so I basically just skipped my draw step. Either way, the Monastery Mentor and hail mary tokens being produced couldn’t stop the Chimporid beatdown, basically cementing my Full Ape status.

    5-0



    Round 6 I.D.

    Right after the match round 6 was starting. I assumed 5-0 was okay to double draw but between the pair down and me being a dumbass in round 5, I couldn't think straight. I didn’t even get to look at standings and when my opponent offered the ID and I just took it and waited and spent some time watching some other matches.

    5-0-1



    Round 7 I.D.

    Pairings for round 7 and standings go up and I see that I am in second. My round 2 MUD homie says I am most likely okay and that I should draw but that based on the number of 16 and 15 pointers it could be sketchy for someone. I take the draw not really having any idea whether a 16 pointer would get knocked out and just hoping my breakers don’t change and screw me into 9th on the pairdown somehow. Top 8 gets announced and I secure the 6th seed.

    5-0-2



    Round 8 vs Infect, Quarterfinals

    Game 1: I sit down not knowing what I am playing against and also on the draw. I keep something along the lines of Pimp, Grave Troll, Breakthrough and drop the Pimp turn 1 to match his Glistener Elf. His second turn sees a Noble Hierarch come down, and I decide to block and dump relevant cards while I can, and to also nullify any double invigorate draws from my tapped out opponent. My draw spell resolves on my turn and I bring back some narcs, make some zombies, and wrap it all up with a blind snipe on invigorate and then flashback two more therapies to take 2 brainstorms and a vines of vastwood, leaving a spell pierce. I triple block the glistener elf with zombies the next turn to kill it and then crack back the next few turns to take the first.

    Side: +4 Firestorm. -1 Ichorid, -1 Thug, -2 Putrid Imp

    Game 2: My opponent mulls all the way down to 5 and starts the game with double gitaxian probe into fetch into hierarch. He was surely not happy about my hand, as it was the full on donkey nuts. Coliseum, 2x LED, Breakthrough, Grave Troll, Street Wraith, X. I lay coliseum, both LEDs, and put Breakthrough on the stack and Wraith in response. Holding priority to all that I crack the first LED for red and wraith back the grave troll, and then crack the 2nd LED before Breakthrough resolves to dump the troll again. I hit every dredge from the breakthrough and flashback two lootings as well to dredge 9 times on my first turn. What’s the point of going plains-Aether Vial-pass in this format when you can drop double black lotus into triple ancestral recall into quad cabal therapy mind twist into lethal power on board. I don’t know either. I name crop rotation with my first therapy and see three lands, yikes. I use two more therapies to make lethal zombies and someone watching points out I didn’t resolve therapy and name anything, they just didn’t know I had cast one already and knew the hand. A judge points that out, but I just go ahead and name Painter’s Servant anyways.

    6-0-2



    Round 9 vs Xerox Delver, Semifinals

    Game 1: After that curb stomping of a match, I had time to watch the match I would be facing the winner of, so I knew that my opponent was on Ctrl+C/Ctrl+V Delver. I sat down and asked my opponent what seed he was, which he responded with 7. Oh boy so I get the play? Swerve. I open up my 7 and yolo with breakthrough led troll again. I go to therapy my opponent and he scoops in response.

    Side: -4 Breakthrough, -1 Thug. +4 Firestorm, +1 Memory’s Journey

    This is my preferred sideboarding method for when I’m ready to grind out a postboard game. Firestorms and Pimps really help to control your yard and what you expose to potential hate effects while also providing small increments of damage along the way and ways to still generate Bridge zombies. Plus, I choose to ignore cage completely usually against delver decks, as the lack of breakthrough means you will usually not be dumping your entire hand only to get blocked by cage. Also, from what I’ve been reading, many people haven’t been that impressed with Memory’s Journey, which I think is crazy. The card is such a unique value engine for 1 mana. If it shows up early enough, it provides protection against surgical extraction. Otherwise, my most common uses for it are to shuffle 3 narcomoeba back into a tiny library, shuffle bridges back in after a creature of theirs dies (bonus points if you stack triggers to still get yours) or to put 3 firestorms back into the deck to try to natty draw one for a blowout. Or just mess up their snapcasters or brainstorm top cards.

    Game 2: I mulligan a no land hand into a basically perfect 6 that is more than ready to (UCSC) slug it out against Xerox delver. Pimp, Firestorm, LED, Thug, Wraith, Gold Land. My opponent had mulliganed as well and opened up on a nice blackborder tropical island into ponder. I draw a narcomoeba and try to Pimp, meeting daze. His next turn sees Aperite Shaman come into play, so on my turn I firestorm that bitch and harken back to the Prelude. I dump Thug and Narcomoeba to do so. I decide that now was the time to begin the dredge march and cycle street wraith, even though I really expected him to have a surgical extraction. Turns out he had two. He targets my Narc and my thug with them, so my wraith draws me a faithless looting rather than starting. No matter, he cantrips on his turn and I believe drops a delver that doesn’t flip for a few turns. I loot and hit a dredger and use the LED to catch up. I start chipping away with zombies and Ichorids, bringing us to the final part of the game. My opponent uses a brainstorm to flip his delver, revealing a bolt, and followed up with a tombstalker that put me down to 8 life. Fortunately, a fetchland represented his only red mana, meaning he would have to be on an effective 9. I had strongly considered using the journey in my yard to shuffle his library for delver, but then decided to use it on myself to put 3 firestorms back. I bring back 2 ichorids and draw and brick on the firestorm and swing out with my ichorids and 3 zombies against his delver and tapped tombstalker. It worked out perfectly where he couldn’t just block with delver and crack back for lethal on his turn since he had no red mana for bolt and would have been at 1. So he fetches to 9, bolts an ichorid and blocks. I flashback a therapy and name fow since I figure it’s the only thing that could be in his hand. I see another bolt! But luckily have a followup therapy and his draw step is just a land. Boom.

    7-0-2

    It’s matches like that where I can’t really understand why I wasn’t playing horrendously busted decks all along in legacy. Game 1 is a turn 1 on the play blowout, and game 2 I was still able to grind it out despite daze, deathrite and double surgical.



    Round 10 vs The Prophecy, Finals vs Miracles

    Game 1: The rematch. The chance to put the Ape demons to rest and claim the title. Also, scg was no longer doing official prize splits, it was up to the players to decide. I would have been okay with splitting at that point (although I had no idea what the prizes were) but my opponent nixed that. Aight let’s dance yo. We both mull to 6. I keep on the draw breakthrough, LED, dredger, therapy? and blanks with no lands. I scry another breakthrough to the bottom. I don’t draw a land on my turn but play the LED out for some reason. Pass. My next turn I don’t anything spicy so I just pass back again. So does he. I draw for my turn and it’s a land and now I’m at 8 cards. I figure I didn’t come this far just to be a bitch and slow dredge so I drop the land and put breakthrough on the stack and meet no resistance. I fail to hit a looting, though, so I have to pass back and get ready to wreck face next turn. I go to therapy and an ambush viper comes down in response, as my opponent mentions that I had named snapcaster before in round 5 so he better play it out. I name terminus and see another snapcaster in his hand to go along with some phat mana cost cards. I thought the speech to get me to not name snapcaster again was pretty good actually. No terminus ever showed up so it was a textbook beatdown to take the game.

    Side: like above

    Game 2: I keep Pimp, LED, Wraith, Dredger, Ichorid, Land. I draw a coliseum for my turn, lead LED and it gets forced. I drop Pimp after that and prep for the wraith show. He plays out an Engineered Explosives on 0 and moves to swords my Pimp. I dump a troll in response and wraith it, and drop all the relative graveyard cards back in. On my turn I return the Ichorid and then lay out the coliseum. It gets me deep enough where I can strip the Jace and Portent from his hand, leaving him with only a land. That ended up being too much to overcome, as even a terminus on upkeep wouldn’t have been able to deal with the ichorids.

    8-0-2

    Champ








    PImpin ain’t easy, unless you just draw the nuts.




    More importantly, people had forgotten the true King of Baltimore. I had to return and reclaim my crown. So with the victory my trophy case of Baltimore legacy classic event plaques swelled to a massive two.












    I also spent a tiny bit of time figuring out how I wanted to blow all my store credit, since my payout was in some ghetto ass prize tickets. I did a tiny bit of browsing around before talking with my Shortcake co-founder Seth, who convinced me on what I had to do. I was slow to get into the game, but the new journey had just started, and this was the perfect first piece. Here was my order:













    So there you have it. The Prophecy. The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All Time. Its ephemeral moment had passed, satisfied that its destiny was fulfilled. It was now free to disappear back into nothingness and await a more simpler time. One where Shortcake is free to roam the swiss and destroy unwitting lands players. Until that time comes again.


    As always,

    -Stay PImpin



    #FreeNedleeds
    Last edited by Kap'n Cook; 11-22-2017 at 08:43 PM.
    Strawberry Shortcake

    http://www.mtgthesource.com/forums/s...erry-Shortcake

    What a brainstorm do? Draw card and activate on draw effects fix hand, removing woods
    #FreeNedleeds

  2. #2
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute



    Congrats mate.

    #freenedleeds
    Quote Originally Posted by nedleeds View Post
    Dat 1/1 with built in pump. Watch out Griselbrand here comes lizard mid range.
    Quote Originally Posted by Von View Post
    Is this a troll or are gobbos really dtb?

  3. #3
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Straight fire.

    Long live Shortcake, the best deck ever played.

    #freenedleeds

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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Name Painter, of course you named painter. Congrats mate.
    It is better to ask and look stupid then keep your mouth shut and remain so.
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    Something about how fun it is pulling the wings off flies and microwaving the neighbors cat?

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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    *Tearful applause*
    The Doomsday Codex



    We're catching bullets in our teeth,
    Its hard to do but they're so sweet.
    And if they take a couple out,
    We try to work things out.....

    Meow.

  6. #6
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Quote Originally Posted by Kap'n Cook View Post
    What’s the point of going plains-Aether Vial-pass in this format when you can drop double black lotus into triple ancestral recall into quad cabal therapy mind twist into lethal power on board. I don’t know either.
    Pure gold. Congratulations!
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    "Dredge isn't a deck, it's public masturbation with graveyard triggers."

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    So dismissive.
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    That's the bit that got me too. Brilliant report!
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    Storm was killed by Leovold
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  8. #8
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    silently applauds
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    People Use Statistics as a Drunk Uses a Lamppost — For Support Rather Than Illumination

  9. #9

    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    This is the second best thread on The Source.

  10. #10
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    PImp-est report ever.
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    Leovold because he is just gasoline. Look at the artwork. He knows it's over. He's offering your opponent the handshake.

  11. #11

    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    10/10 would read again.
    "Everything is better topless"

  12. #12

    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    I was your round one High Tide opponent. That brainstorm play was so tough, I hit Tide/Spiral but should've hidden Tide/Turnabout so that at least one of the Turnabouts is safe. If you name Spiral my combo chances are fucked but I can attempt Tide/turn/turn/Wish/Intuition/Spirals the turn after next. Great games dude and grats on the win! You beat my buddy Chris in r2 as well.

    By the way, I ended up 0-6 on that tournament, playing against 5 other combo decks. Whoops.

  13. #13

    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Quote Originally Posted by HammerAndSickled View Post
    I was your round one High Tide opponent. That brainstorm play was so tough, I hit Tide/Spiral but should've hidden Tide/Turnabout so that at least one of the Turnabouts is safe. If you name Spiral my combo chances are fucked but I can attempt Tide/turn/turn/Wish/Intuition/Spirals the turn after next. Great games dude and grats on the win! You beat my buddy Chris in r2 as well.

    By the way, I ended up 0-6 on that tournament, playing against 5 other combo decks. Whoops.
    What was your list?
    "Everything is better topless"

  14. #14
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Just wow. Amazing report. You're so right, what am I doing with my life playing fair?

    #FreeNedLeeds
    #TuskUp
    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Cheese View Post
    I've been taking shitty brews and tier 2 decks to tournaments and losing with them for years now. Welcome to the club. We meet for cocktails after round 6.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stevestamopz View Post
    Top quality german restraint there.

    If I'm at the point where I'm rage quitting, you can bet your kransky that I'm calling everyone involved a cunt.

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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Quote Originally Posted by Megadeus View Post
    Just wow. Amazing report. You're so right, what am I doing with my life playing fair?

    #FreeNedLeeds
    #TuskUp


    Are you thinking what I'm thinking B1?
    Quote Originally Posted by nedleeds View Post
    Dat 1/1 with built in pump. Watch out Griselbrand here comes lizard mid range.
    Quote Originally Posted by Von View Post
    Is this a troll or are gobbos really dtb?

  16. #16
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    3rd place in the Legacy challenge online today. Stomped Swiss 7-0



    #FreeNedleeds
    Strawberry Shortcake

    http://www.mtgthesource.com/forums/s...erry-Shortcake

    What a brainstorm do? Draw card and activate on draw effects fix hand, removing woods
    #FreeNedleeds

  17. #17
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    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Quote Originally Posted by Kap'n Cook View Post
    3rd place in the Legacy challenge online today. Stomped Swiss 7-0



    #FreeNedleeds
    You are truly a god. #FreeNedleeds
    Quote Originally Posted by Richard Cheese View Post
    I've been taking shitty brews and tier 2 decks to tournaments and losing with them for years now. Welcome to the club. We meet for cocktails after round 6.
    Quote Originally Posted by Stevestamopz View Post
    Top quality german restraint there.

    If I'm at the point where I'm rage quitting, you can bet your kransky that I'm calling everyone involved a cunt.

  18. #18

    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Sweet mate!

    Bring in the lists and all the good stuff.

    I played my first Legacy FNM last Friday with the same deck you played to win the tournament and I just stomped them getting second place in my first Legacy FNM.
    I expected to get stomped but it went the other way, I just love that deck so much.
    Only card I still need is Memory`s Journey to replace my third Fearie Macabre.

  19. #19

    Re: The Second Greatest Tournament Report of All-Time, Tribute

    Great report. Makes me want to pimp out my manaless dredge deck with gold and diamonds and start playing magic as it's meant to.

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