Self-righteous suicides

[Digital Devil]

For those who enjoy the game even if they're losing; for those who don't throw their deckbox just like Primož Kozmus would do; for those who don't want to be defeated by other people, and would rather Hara-Kiri; for all of you, I shall open this thread. Is the suicidal tendency, M(tg)agically speaking, spread across the Source? Is there anyone who, while playing, intentionally made a move to make sure they'd lose? The obvious example was with the mana burn thingie, but after the release of M10 only a few decks could commit suicide. The main example is with Ancient Tomb's life loss, but I've seen @ a local tourney a player burning himself to death with Punishing Fire + 3x Grove of the Burnwillows because he couldn't win the match. And I've also seen a player who put a Vendilion Clique on top of his deck with Volrath's Stronghold just to make sure his Dark Confidant would have killed him the next upkeep. The best suicide so far was my friend's, playing with Faerie Stompy against me. He was at 4, had a Serendib Efreet on the field, he played and equipped a SoFaI (taking two damage from an Ancient Tomb) and killed himself with the Sword's trigger. The whole thing happened because he didn't want to lose because of my attacks. I know a suicide or a defeat is still a loss, but there are certain things which are funny to see. Are there more funny stories out there? Could you please share them in this topic?

[stuckpixel]

There's a much quicker way to kill yourself that all decks have access to.

It's called conceding.

Performing seppuku can be funny in social situations - but if it's going to take more than a single move, don't waste the time of your opponents. It's one thing to lightning bolt yourself for lethal as they alpha-strike.. it's quite another to go through the hassle of recurring a Punishing Fire to slowly kill yourself.

[ykpon]

I just play shitty decks. Can it be considered as a form of suicide?

[dahcmai]

I cast 3 dark rituals in a row and then a Demonic Hordes on the first turn once. I did it just because I could. Truly amusing.







What's funny is we used to have little contests to see how fast you could kill yourself using only the cards you had. It's actually tough during the time of the Dark only. Channel was considered cheating though and it was banned anyway. I think the fastest had to be the first turn triple Mana Crypt.

[Van Phanel]

I remember reading a "tournament report" from a guy running a deck very similar to this in a tournament: He played all six swiss rounds.



4 Badlands
4 Bloodstained Mire
2 Polluted Delta
1 Wooded Foothills
1 Swamp
1 Mountain

4 Spoils of the Vault
4 Demonic Consultation
4 Final Fortune
4 Warrior's Oath
3 Last Chance
4 Death Wish
4 Burning Wish
4 Dark Ritual
4 Cabal Ritual
4 Rite of Flame
4 Lotus Petal
4 Chrome Mox

SB:
1 Last Chance
14 random cards

[HdH_Cthulhu]

I dont do such things but damn i like Chop Suey, both to hear and to eat :/

[caiomarcos]

I dont do such things but damn i like Chop Suey, both to hear and to eat :/

Thank you for reminding me from what song that line is. I was to lazy to google it up.

The killyourself.dec also reminded me about a little kitchen table tournament we did, where you had to build the worst deck possible with the cards you had, then someone else played with it and you played with someone else's deck.
The deck I built was the winner, didn't lose one game. I suck even at sucking.

[MasterC]

Well, I once commited suicide in a tournament by using my Ancient Tomb when I was about to get raped by rancored birds of paradise. :mad:

[Digital Devil]

Yesterday I saw a guy with Aggro Loam. Nothing particular. He played Burning Wish. Nothing particular. He decided to grab Last Chance (!). He played Last Chance. He passed both his regular turn and his extra one. He probably wished he wasn't playing against Goblin, but that wasn't a sorcery card he owned. And I also saw some weird UGB Thresh list with NO + Progenitus. Wise men say Dark Confidant and the Hydra Avatar are not good together.

[PunkRocker1134]

In a cube draft the other night I raced myself. City of Brass, Dark Confidant and Mana Crypt. I won on turn 5, at 3 life, with my top card costing 5. In case you're wondering, my opponent only played land. I've also killed myself goldfishing before with a Confidant. Gotta love that card.

[emidln]

Last round of Rav-TS Regionals in St. Louis. I'm playing B/R homebrew storm with Empty the Warrens, Dark Confidant, Street Wraith, Ignite Memories, Simian Spirit Guide, etc, etc. If I win, I make top8 at X-1-1. In game 3 I start off (on the play):

T1: Shock up, RFG Simian Spirit Guide, Dark Confidant
T2: I reveal Street Wraith to go down to 13. I cycle Street Wraith down to 11, attack with Bob, and play a Chromatic Star.
T3: I reveal Street Wraith down to 6. I don't cycle, play a ton of spells and cast Empty the Warrens for a bunch of dudes then attack with Bob.
T4: I reveal a Rite of Flame to Dark Confidant to put me at 5 then attack him for half of his life. My opp is playing U/w so isn't likely to kill me. He doesn't have the Wrath so
T5: I flip the top card of my deck and reveal....Street Wraith.

Granted, I didn't mean for to in this scenario, but I'm still bitter several years later so you have to read about it.

[Digital Devil]

Last round of Rav-TS Regionals in St. Louis. I'm playing B/R homebrew storm with Empty the Warrens, Dark Confidant, Street Wraith, Ignite Memories, Simian Spirit Guide, etc, etc. If I win, I make top8 at X-1-1. In game 3 I start off (on the play):

T1: Shock up, RFG Simian Spirit Guide, Dark Confidant
T2: I reveal Street Wraith to go down to 13. I cycle Street Wraith down to 11, attack with Bob, and play a Chromatic Star.
T3: I reveal Street Wraith down to 6. I don't cycle, play a ton of spells and cast Empty the Warrens for a bunch of dudes then attack with Bob.
T4: I reveal a Rite of Flame to Dark Confidant to put me at 5 then attack him for half of his life. My opp is playing U/w so isn't likely to kill me. He doesn't have the Wrath so
T5: I flip the top card of my deck and reveal....Street Wraith.

Granted, I didn't mean for to in this scenario, but I'm still bitter several years later so you have to read about it.
Greatness, at any cost =)

[Kove]

This was at a tournament like at least half a year ago so details are a bit fuzzy. Anyway, I was playing Berserk Stompy against a blue deck of a kind running the Strifle-Dreadnought combo. This particular game I was hardly drawing any creatures. I had a few lands, lots of pump but he had counters for the few creatures I managed to draw.

He eventually got a Dreadnought into play while having total control and I was facing lethal damage. He attacks, I think for a bit to make him believe I have an answer to it - then barf my entire handful of pump spells on the Dreadnought resulting in me getting absolutely flattened. I believe it was 4-5 pump spells in total with at least two of them being Berserk.

That was the best loss I've ever had. xD

[leander?]

Haha, nice!
That nought must've been like 80/20 then? :P

[Soldar]

I feel like I should create a placeholder for TurboLose (pioneered at US Nationals 2008), I'm sure MasterShake or Patrick will be able to explain the deck further.

But in the Open Dueling League, you would receive 2 points toward a foil promo for winning, and 1 point for losing... you can't control how fast you win, but you can definitely control how fast you lose.

They changed the rules at the next event so that you have to actually try to win now :frown:

[Patrick]

Soldar's right. We read on the website while at Nationals that 1 point would be awarded for losing. Since the foils available included Duress we decided that we needed to get through as many matches as possible. About an hour of thought went into this, and roughly 3 hours of trading.

Presenting...... TurboLose

4 Pact of Negation
4 Pact of the Titan
4 Summoners Pact
4 Slaughter Pact
4 Intervention Pact

4 Street Wraith
4 Dryad Arbor

32 other cards

The idea was to play a Pact on the first turn, then lose the game, granting yourself 1/20 of a foil Duress. Early on I noticed that with Dryad Arbor we'd always have a target for Slaughter Pact, and Street Wraith cut the deck to just 56 cards.

As a fun aside, we found out that the instances of receiving foil promos stacked, so first you got a Duress, then a Duress and a Karn, then a Duress, a Karn and an Enlightened Tutor, etc etc. Also, every 5 points you got 2 foil basic lands from Urza's Saga. Eventually the guy handing out the promos got irritated that we built a deck designed to lose, so he stopped giving us free cards for a while. Still, the deck floated around the rest of the weekend and we all made out like bandits!

[Digital Devil]

What about an :u::b::r: Dracoplosion list with Dark Confidant?

[leander?]

You can also just play a normal deck and scoop. Faster and uncounterable.
Fail.

[Master Shake]

Soldar's right. We read on the website while at Nationals that 1 point would be awarded for losing. Since the foils available included Duress we decided that we needed to get through as many matches as possible. About an hour of thought went into this, and roughly 3 hours of trading.

Presenting...... TurboLose

4 Pact of Negation
4 Pact of the Titan
4 Summoners Pact
4 Slaughter Pact
4 Intervention Pact

4 Street Wraith
4 Dryad Arbor

32 other cards

The idea was to play a Pact on the first turn, then lose the game, granting yourself 1/20 of a foil Duress. Early on I noticed that with Dryad Arbor we'd always have a target for Slaughter Pact, and Street Wraith cut the deck to just 56 cards.

As a fun aside, we found out that the instances of receiving foil promos stacked, so first you got a Duress, then a Duress and a Karn, then a Duress, a Karn and an Enlightened Tutor, etc etc. Also, every 5 points you got 2 foil basic lands from Urza's Saga. Eventually the guy handing out the promos got irritated that we built a deck designed to lose, so he stopped giving us free cards for a while. Still, the deck floated around the rest of the weekend and we all made out like bandits!

The reason we had to build this deck is because we were told that foils would not be handed out for concessions. And you could not play the same person twice in a row. So we figured out that - Every deck aims to win as fast as possible and as hard as you may try, you cannot really control how quickly you win the game. But! You can control how quickly you lose the game. Ideally, you would have 4 people playing this deck, and then all four of them could play round robin. Everyone should get an average of two points per game and a game should take slightly longer than it takes to shuffle and present.

I think my build of the deck was something like:

Time Spiral - Eventide Standard Legal

20 Pacts
4 Dryad Arbor (You need this so that your Summoning Pact can get something)
4 Spellbook
4 Street Wraith
4 Edge of Autumn
4 Ornithopter
4 Claws of Gix
4 Mishra's Bauble
4 Tormod's Crypt
4 Allasarus Riders
1 Fountain of Youth
1 Forest
2 Metagame Slots

The results of this deck were plentiful. But to our surprise it upset a lot of people to have a game end so quickly, even when he or she is the beneficiary of that. I'm a big fan of Area League and hope that it happens at the next big even I go to so I can bring something like this along.