everythingitouchdies
06-28-2011, 05:02 AM
KnightWare June 26th Legacy Tournament for Duals, 62 Players
The Introduction of a Doom to Come
Some time in May I decided that I was going to own mesmeric orb and basalt monolith on a night when I was heavily intoxicated and spending money on magic cards I would probably never play, failing follow my rule about not mixing tequila and ebay. I believe it was the same night I purchased Chinese Hive Minds even though I already had 4 English ones sitting around from last summer when I decided I could not make the deck work and my 4 Japanese Pact of Negations were homeless yet again. I had read a thread about 4 Horsemen when I was researching Cephalid Breakfast before Star City LA, and even though that deck performed well for the savage Joe Lossett it failed terribly for me in testing. I was fortunate enough to choose the trusty One Land Belcher that day, but that is another story from an older war that has already been told.
So in a drunken decision to improve everything I hated about Breakfast (what kind of breakfast lacks beer or heavy metal?) and the thing that frustrated me most was the creatures. So I typed up the list and replaced the guys with the artifacts and thought I had a handy little weapon worth playing, and for just under 2 dollars came into possession of 4 orbs and 4 unlimited monoliths. I was satisfied and promptly forgot about it the next day, but in a few days when they arrived I could only think to myself, “Why did you think this was so genius? Have you read these cards?”
But I was not going to give up. The deck looked great, enlightened tutor seemed to make it brilliant, and it was almost impervious to creature removal. Why not? Then I remembered that I do not own Tundras and or Enlightened tutor, and I had no desire to acquire them. Besides, I just picked up four sneak attacks and those were going to be way more fun to play. The cards were tucked neatly inside of a stolen copy of Moby Dick that still says Property of East Detroit Library on the binding, right next to my very awesome Asian Gitaxian Probes.
The next day I wanted the Probes for something else and it cliqued. The card was so sick with Cabal Therapy and I was trying so hard to find a deck for it, why not this one? I assembled a rough list and instead of seeing if anyone else came up with any great wisdom I decided to play it later in the month. It sat half assembled until I was fortunate enough to read Patrick Chapin’s article and discover the Sharuum loop that takes less space than my breakfast loop and seems so much cooler because Sharuum reminds me of a monster in a Ronny James Dio video and Blasting Station sounds like a place to listen to noisy southern doom much like my iPod.
The attention he drew to the deck made me a little paranoid, but I don’t think anyone has put any real stock in it and I have discovered that even after playing it for two tournaments people still don’t thoroughly understand it. It takes a bit for it to come to light in game one, often somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 Emrakul triggers. This makes it fun for me, but also makes rounds go a slight bit longer than they have to, as some players are stubborn and don’t understand the simple truth of inevitability. I think it’s the reason more people don’t own Holy Mountain from Sleep. It’s a shame, but something that gives me a pleasant sensation from being in on it while others stand in their Denial Drenched Sunlight.
Anyway, the point is that Patrick’s list gave me a smoother draw and brought a better finish, eventually making the current sideboard possible. I tested it and hated lim-dul’s vault in spite of how much I love the card, so I went back to the pre-ordains I was playing and tweaked it to my liking. The first incarnation was running volcanics for sideboard cards that I found unsatisfactory and cut, cleaning up the light mana base and making the deck easy to play in the face of wasteland.
So when Father’s Day rolled around I took the precursory version of my Doom to a tournament in Sarnath, feeling like a vengeful reptilian God, only to realize that the tournament was in San Gabriel at MTGdeals. I went three and two with my losses coming to playing it safe when I had the win against Depths/Reanimator and losing to his topdeck, and then to combo elves for boarding terribly and not having answers to the right cards. I managed to stomp Dredge twice and beat affinity as well and finish 8th out of 23, but more importantly saw exactly what I wanted to do. I traded for my last three Show and Tells and set to work.
I quickly assembled the 75 I played, discussed it with Liam Kane who still wanted LDV, but affirmed my feelings on the sideboard even though I never got to play any games with it before the tournament, and with the deck built I began to anticipate winning some dual lands in my usual arrogant fashion. But two days later my boss informed me it was not to be, and the changed start time seemed like it would default me into showing up late and assisting with judging instead of playing. Disheartened but not defeated, I took the deck with me to FNM hoping to at least get some games in, but even that failed in the same spirit as my solid draft deck.
Departing early from FNM and descending like a bloodthirsty Yeti on the unsuspecting Echo Park, a night of madness helped me forget about it and I tried not to be disappointed in not getting to play. After one of the tamer nights of my life I spent a Saturday writing and taking care of domestic necessities like laundry, perhaps under the influence of hallucinogens and perhaps not. I was well rested for work Sunday morning, quite different from a typical night before a magic tournament, and the morning found me slaving away and resolved to show up after. Instead, my boss gave me the nod to take off early about the same time Ethan called to tell me he and Nick could swing by and grab me, giving me just enough time to kill a 40 ounce breakfast and get to the tournament.
I left my Bag of Eldritch Horror at Knightware after FNM so my deck was already present, but my head was not in it even as I wrote the 75 down from memory. Fortunately Caleb Neufeld was prepared to help medicate a lethargic and far too-rested monster, and after a can of Schlitz and a shot of Bush Mills I was ready to go. The Ancient One was awakened and the stars were almost aligned, so the weapon at hand was in perfect position to leave a mark on the local metagame. Registered, fueled and making my rounds, I was impressed with the turnout both in quantity and caliber, and even more delighted when the 61-player event was rounded to an even number with the addition of Liam Kane. All of the classic weapons were present, Storm, Belcher, Dredge, and they were to be joined by my Necronomicon spawned beast in a day fit for show.
The Vital Info:
Main Deck
4x Basalt Monolith
4x Mesmeric Orb
3x Narcomoeba
1x Dread Return
1x Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
1x Sharuum the Hegemon
1x Blasting Station
3x Cabal Therapy
3x Thoughtseize
4x Force Of Will
3x Mental Misstep
4x Brainstorm
4x Ponder
3x Preordain
4x Gitaxian Probe
4x Polluted Delta
1x Flooded Strand
1x Misty Rainforest
1x Scalding Tarn
4x Underground Sea
3x Island
1x Swamp
2x Ancient Tomb
Sideboard
3x Tormod's Crypt
2x Extirpate
2x Echoing Truth
3x Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
4x Show And Tell
1x Mental Misstep
The Brief Explanation:
The deck revolves around the combo of mesmeric orb and basalt monolith. The monolith taps for three to then untap itself, giving you the ability to mill your deck one card at a time with a mesmeric orb in play. You put narcomoebas into play and set up a situation with dread return, sharuum and blasting station in your graveyard, using cabal therapies to clear cards from their hand or yours if needed. You can infinitely recur the narcomoebas like a sad set of Corrupt Cultists on the Shore of Innsmouth with the Emrakul trigger, making them an abusable resource to therapy as needed and still flashback dread return, targeting Sharuum. His come into play ability gives you blasting station, and then each time a narcomoeba comes into play you do one damage to whatever you choose, usually your opponent Its an infinite loop and wins.
Matches:
Round One brought to you by Schlitz
Merfolk
Game one:
I set up my combo on turn four, my opponent assuming he is dead but not exactly knowing how. He has three curse catchers and I do not have the mana to pay for them when I flashback dread return on Sharuum the Hair Metal Monster so I have to present the three narcomoebas as blockers to ensure I stay alive and win the next turn. There is no combination of cards with what he has left that will kill me, and even though I would be able to pay after my untap step I still trade the Narcs with the cursecatchers, then untap and Rock the Ages.
Game two:
I keep a hand of Island, ponder x2, brainstorm x2, mesmeric orb and gitaxian probe. I decide that this is the kind of ancient rite I want to get behind and keep. I fail to find a second land and I get beat to death by a Mutavault and Lord of Atlantis. Seems like bad times for our hero, I revisit my board and set up a mix of show and tells and the base combo, as there are only six minutes left in the round.
Game Three:
Facing the wrath of the clock, I am fairly confident with some help from fortunate draws I can put this away with ease. I keep a hand of Gitaxian Probe, Show and tell, Cabal Therapy, FoW, Brainstorm, Island and Polluted Delta. I probe to see Mutavault x2, 2x Silvergill Adept, Lord of Atlantis, Force of Will, Aether Vial. I then cast cabal therapy after drawing a mesmeric orb and he forces, so I force back pitching my brainstorm and take the adepts. He plays vial and start taking beats from the lands. I draw another show and tell and time is called during his turn. I play a narcomoeba turn one of time and block vault on turn two to ensure no combination of lords can kill me before time. I get the emrakul and can show him out on turn five of time, live through another set of hits and then win if we kept playing, but it was not to be. We draw in the most unlikely of matches, but the prospect does not seem terrible for me.
1-1-1
0-0-1
I am not off to a great start that I wanted and decide I need some Blood of the Great Old Ones to further empower me. I resolve to consume it and Consult the Eldritch Bag, finding exactly what I need. The wrath renewed, I determine to crush my next opponent with Pyroclastic Style and an Old School Flow.
Round Two brought to you by Bush Mills
1 Land Belcher
I am unaware that he is piloting my pet, the deck so many associate with me and I feel a certain amount of entitle ownership of, much like I am sure Nat Moes does, having helped it on its course through the years of Vintage. The unfortunate Universal Truth that I cannot lose to the deck, that I am impervious to its might as the result of some Alien Evil that I took part in under a darker sky, is unknown to my opponent at the start of the match. I lose the die roll and keep a hand with no countermagic, ready to smash with my fierce weapon.
Game One:
My seven are Orb, island, ancient tomb, ponder, preordain, brainstorm, gitaxian probe. He mulligans to six and keeps, then passes. I am disturbed and suspect dredge, but through proper use of my Power I probe him to discover the truth. He has the fire, he just needs the bomb to destroy the world he faces. I am not loving this situation but I have no fear, believing myself invincible as I draw an underground sea off the probe, play it and ponder. I shuffle into a mental misstep, which I notice will not counter a single card I have scribed to be in his hand. He draws and passes again, a grip of seven, and I take my turn with a brainstorm then preordain, passing with two lands in play and no force of will. His 8th card proves to be a weapon of burning wishes, and with some storm and blood he delivers 12 goblins to the board. The hero of the match begins to sweat, untaps, draws brainstorm, plays orb, and brainstorms to find nothing good, and set up to mill away uselessness. I wonder if I could mill him to death if he had 14 goblins and I had three orbs, but I put the thought aside and I pass. He gets to swing at me, and I am alive for just a turn longer and 3 life. I mill my chaff and rip basalt monolith. I grin at my fortune and execute my opponent with the style and discipline of an early Norwegian Black Metal Album.
Game Two:
This is brutal. This dueling turntables, one equipped with Throbbing Gristle and Detroit Techno Militia and the other with Songs from the Soundtrack of Waiting for Godot. My opening grip is FoW, Probe and Therapy, Monoloth, Brainstorm, Polluted Delta and Ancient tomb. I draw orb off the probe turn one and shred his hand of five down to a couple mana sources. On turn two I play monolith and tap it for orb. He tries to burning with with two red up to shattering spree my artifacts but I deny him with Force and untap with the win on the board.
2-0
1-0-1
I am feeling the Might and Splendor of Darker Times, and I compliment my opponent for his deck choice, give him some minor advice he likely doesn’t want but I hope will help, and I head to the exterior landscape to rejoice in the start of my quest for victory.
Round Three brought to you again by Bush Mills
Control RUG (Ethan Walker)
I am quite energetic and joke some with Ethan about how epic our match will be. Since he picked me up to bring me along and I know he has grudges in his board I am already thinking about my gameplan for game two as we begin game one, feeling the whiskey and enjoying my deck a little more than can be healthy. I know that Ethan just had an encounter of an unpleasant nature so I do my best to keep this round upbeat and friendly, even though it is my intention to Crush him with Blasphemous Savagery.
Game One:
Not much for notes but this game results in a mess of discard and counterspells that put us both in topdeck mode but with me having a monolith on board. I eventually draw the orb and put the game away, happy to have explained it enough to Ethan not to have to go through the motions.
Game Two:
Game two is a fierce battle of Angry Gladiators, like a Polar Bear and an Allosaurus. I have Show/Emrakul and he has a bunch of hate for my main combo. During his turn three mainphase he casts Vendilion Clique taking my Emrakul. He beats me to 2 before I play a Narcomoeba, stalling the Clique and my inevitable doom. He is in top deck mode and I have Force of will and two Show and Tells. I draw the Emrakul and play Show and Tell, watching him reveal a Wasteland to my monster. I know he has lightning bolts in his 75 and its not over, but he draws and passes and I draw misstep. I have the mana to harcast it and Force of Will, and I feel safe as I annihilate his board. He draws dead and the game concludes at the will of my Epic and Ancient Evil Friend.
2-0
2-0-1
Round Four is an independent production of a Monster from the Midwest
Dredge (Jacob Feturechi)
Jacob is a competent dredge player, but even so my experience with this match has me aware that it is favorable and his unfamiliarity with my deck promises to help. I tell him I am preparing to dispatch him to reclaim the Blood of Fallen Kings from all of my Foes, we laugh some and begin our games with him on the play. As of now I have not won a die roll, but fortunately it has not mattered much. It is like the cry of a doomed beast promising a ruthless fight to the death, but still resulting in the same execution.
Game One:
He plays a coliseum and passes, smartly playing around mental misstep. I play an island and ponder, passing back. He casts breakthrough and I Force it, untapping and playing mesmeric orb. He mills a bridge and casts breakthrough again, this time resolving it and dumping a dredge guy and two more bridges in the yard. I untap and cast cabal therapy, naming Stormfront Pegasus, then play narcomoeba and eat the three bridges naming White Knight, letting him keep Golgari thug. It takes a couple turns and he gets an Ichorid in the yard, but it will never be blessed with the thrill of devouring the bones of a putrid imp to gain the power to rise up against me, as I untap, preordain, and cast the monolith for some St. Vitus style doom.
Game Two:
I am not sure what Jacob’s plan is against me, but not concerned either. I board in my entire fifteen and choose to remove the combo and my thoughtseizes. He plays first again and dodges the expected mental misstep on turn one yet again, even though I don’t have it this time, and with a mighty pass after playing city of brass the turn becomes mine. I play a fetch and pass, preparing to end of turn brainstorm, a dream that goes off unhindered after I force of will his breakthrough. I play a turn two tormod’s crypt and have extirpate in hand as I set up for turn 4 emrakul, peeking at his grip with my revered and much loved Gitaxian Probe to ensure I have nothing to fear as I put Cthulhu, or rather, Emrakul into play, promising to tear aeons before my opponent. Jacob knowingly scoops after a turn that doesn’t provide him with answers, and I am victorious once again.
2-0
3-0-1
Round 5 is brought to you once more by Bush Mills, doubling its efforts in light of its prior round absence.
ANT (Liam Kane)
Liam drew the prior round with Vidi, and discusses drawing with me and putting all the pressure on the last round. After deciding that means we both have to win instead of one of drawing in we play, knowing that I am heavily favored.
Game One:
I have a very controlling hand and use Probe and Therapy to rip apart liam’s hand after misstepping his first turn ponder. We joke about how I manage to pay a considerable amount of life recklessly and fearlessly, and on turn three I cast monolith and tap it for orb and pass. Liam draws burning wish and makes me regret it, shattering both of my artifacts on a malicious spree of fascination. The game goes on for another four turns as I assemble the win while repeatedly stripping him of cards and countering his business. It is considerable fun for me, though I imagine Liam did not enjoy it much.
Game Two:
I board in only misstep and he brings in two swarms, and I misstep his turn one ponder again. I follow up with Thoughtseize on one and therapy on two, allowing me to assemble the combo with no pressure by turn 5 after making him discard something turn after turn. I kill him with my Blasting Station and the Power of its Riff, launching myself into position to draw into top 8 and feeling like the day has taken little effort.
2-0
4-0-1
Round Six is sponsored by the desire for food
Mark NO RUG
ID
I congratulate my opponent, sign the slip and sort my deck for top 8. I then head for food as I contemplate my strong sense of inner peace, like some sort of blood-drenched Zen known only to Warlords and Serial Killers. My inner Vlad the Impaler is fed and I have plenty of time to talk about how awesome I am and how great my deck is, along with finding out what everyone else is playing. I fail to discover all 8 decks but it doesn’t really matter much to me, as I feel like the ones I am aware of I am favored in.
Top 8 will be my round Six opponent, who I will face, Alex Kwan with noForce Bant, Kevin Koga with Aggro Loam, Liam Kane with ANT, Shai Shaham with Junk, another guy with Hive Mind, and a deck I don’t know that turns out to be goblins.
Top 8 sponsored by Unknown Hinson
Mark NO RUG
Game one:
As is the theme of the day Mark goes first, playing a turn one noble heirarch and passing. I play probe without playing a land and he dazes it, so I then play a land and thoughtseize him. He plays another Heirarch and I resolve mesmeric orb. He plays again and plays a Goyf I believe and I untap, Gitaxian Probe and drop Basalt Monolith safely, comboing out with little effort and launching us recklessly into game two. It is the shortest and most raw I have combo’d all day, and it feels strange to accomplish it with such ease.
Game Two:
I decide to board out the combo and bring in the Cthuhlhu Doom plan, a decision that I do not regret as he plays a turn one Relic of Progenitus. After a second one, a dryad arbor and a noble heirarch find themselves on the board, I use a turn to set up with some pondering and brainstorming. On my third turn I draw Emrakul but get met with Vendilion Clique banishing the emrakul and replacing it with a third show and tell, leaving me with three show and tell, narcomoeba, and thoughtseize. I cast the seize and take his natural order, leaving him with Daze and REB, then cast the moeba as a blocker and he dazes it so he can hit me for four the next turn with just a REB in hand. I draw for turn, casually amused as Emrakul #2 enters my grip, and I immediately cast Show and Tell as I would have anyway. He cracks relic to draw a card, then decides not to blast it. I put down emrakul and he plays nothing, and the game ends at the hands of my fearsome yet handsomely charming Eldrazi Master.
Top 4:
Alex Kwan with NoForce Bant
At this point I am pretty worn out and still buzzed and have no notes, so it’s a little rushed but covers the gist of it. Alex and I routinely trade off wins, and since I defeated him in our last encounter it was his turn to win, something we joked about as we shuffled,
Game one:
Some sloppy between us leads to a slow game and me with a mesmeric orb, brainstorming and putting the monolith back and milling it away instead of holding it to play and win. I don’t know why I did that but I am not punished, winning a couple turns later after adding some tension to the match up. The most important thing I note is that Alex has Maindeck Ooze and Karakas, a potential answer to either plan.
I decide on Show and Tell and we go to game two.
Game two
He has a ton of hate for my native combo and I set up the show and tell plan, but I make a mistake and leave him with a knight of the reliquary in hand that I could have thoughtseized and cannot Show Emrakul unless I draw another discard spell. He never plays the knight, keeping mana up for ooze, assuming I am playing nothing because of it. I don’t tip my hand and lose graciously to my own simple mistake, as I could have won easily on turn four if I would have focused on the agenda instead of gaining value. A lesson learned or rather remembered, because I discussed this exact scenario with Liam before the match.
Game Three
This goes similar to game two, except I rip his hand apart properly and again stare down cards against my combo that do nothing to my current plan. Unfortunately I do not draw a third land for four turns and by the time I do Alex has drawn a daze and beats me to death with arbor, pridemage and gaddock teeg. If I would have picked up a land in either of the two turns when he was empty handed it would have been over, but it was Alex’s turn to win and the Fates saw to it that he did. I am satisfied with my results, and I congratulate Alex as we turn to watch Kevin execute a win so they can draw and wrap up the tournament.
The Aftermath
I finish in third and pick up two tropical islands, trading one of them for a tundra and sentencing the other to my trade binder between a contested warzone and an inkmoth nexus. Another great tournament as always, further representing the strength of SoCal Legacy and Knighware as an amazing place to play, learn and win.
I want to congratulate everyone that did well, including Adam who finished tenth with Belcher, keeping the torch alive. I also want to compliment every one of my opponents for being great, having fun and for playing. If I got any details wrong I will offer a half-hearted apology, as I did most of this from memory, but the majority of the details are correct and the point gets across.
I would definitely encourage people to pick this up and become familiar with it. This is a powerhouse and I imagine it will start to show up in the future. I will definitely pilot it again. It could use a new name, I often referred to it as the Heavy Metal Deck because the Orb looks like Lochnar and the Basalt Monolith is literal Hard Rock, but I am not overly concerned or looking to confuse anyone. Thanks for reading, skimming, skipping, or whatever you did to get to this end. Adios.
The Introduction of a Doom to Come
Some time in May I decided that I was going to own mesmeric orb and basalt monolith on a night when I was heavily intoxicated and spending money on magic cards I would probably never play, failing follow my rule about not mixing tequila and ebay. I believe it was the same night I purchased Chinese Hive Minds even though I already had 4 English ones sitting around from last summer when I decided I could not make the deck work and my 4 Japanese Pact of Negations were homeless yet again. I had read a thread about 4 Horsemen when I was researching Cephalid Breakfast before Star City LA, and even though that deck performed well for the savage Joe Lossett it failed terribly for me in testing. I was fortunate enough to choose the trusty One Land Belcher that day, but that is another story from an older war that has already been told.
So in a drunken decision to improve everything I hated about Breakfast (what kind of breakfast lacks beer or heavy metal?) and the thing that frustrated me most was the creatures. So I typed up the list and replaced the guys with the artifacts and thought I had a handy little weapon worth playing, and for just under 2 dollars came into possession of 4 orbs and 4 unlimited monoliths. I was satisfied and promptly forgot about it the next day, but in a few days when they arrived I could only think to myself, “Why did you think this was so genius? Have you read these cards?”
But I was not going to give up. The deck looked great, enlightened tutor seemed to make it brilliant, and it was almost impervious to creature removal. Why not? Then I remembered that I do not own Tundras and or Enlightened tutor, and I had no desire to acquire them. Besides, I just picked up four sneak attacks and those were going to be way more fun to play. The cards were tucked neatly inside of a stolen copy of Moby Dick that still says Property of East Detroit Library on the binding, right next to my very awesome Asian Gitaxian Probes.
The next day I wanted the Probes for something else and it cliqued. The card was so sick with Cabal Therapy and I was trying so hard to find a deck for it, why not this one? I assembled a rough list and instead of seeing if anyone else came up with any great wisdom I decided to play it later in the month. It sat half assembled until I was fortunate enough to read Patrick Chapin’s article and discover the Sharuum loop that takes less space than my breakfast loop and seems so much cooler because Sharuum reminds me of a monster in a Ronny James Dio video and Blasting Station sounds like a place to listen to noisy southern doom much like my iPod.
The attention he drew to the deck made me a little paranoid, but I don’t think anyone has put any real stock in it and I have discovered that even after playing it for two tournaments people still don’t thoroughly understand it. It takes a bit for it to come to light in game one, often somewhere in the neighborhood of 18 Emrakul triggers. This makes it fun for me, but also makes rounds go a slight bit longer than they have to, as some players are stubborn and don’t understand the simple truth of inevitability. I think it’s the reason more people don’t own Holy Mountain from Sleep. It’s a shame, but something that gives me a pleasant sensation from being in on it while others stand in their Denial Drenched Sunlight.
Anyway, the point is that Patrick’s list gave me a smoother draw and brought a better finish, eventually making the current sideboard possible. I tested it and hated lim-dul’s vault in spite of how much I love the card, so I went back to the pre-ordains I was playing and tweaked it to my liking. The first incarnation was running volcanics for sideboard cards that I found unsatisfactory and cut, cleaning up the light mana base and making the deck easy to play in the face of wasteland.
So when Father’s Day rolled around I took the precursory version of my Doom to a tournament in Sarnath, feeling like a vengeful reptilian God, only to realize that the tournament was in San Gabriel at MTGdeals. I went three and two with my losses coming to playing it safe when I had the win against Depths/Reanimator and losing to his topdeck, and then to combo elves for boarding terribly and not having answers to the right cards. I managed to stomp Dredge twice and beat affinity as well and finish 8th out of 23, but more importantly saw exactly what I wanted to do. I traded for my last three Show and Tells and set to work.
I quickly assembled the 75 I played, discussed it with Liam Kane who still wanted LDV, but affirmed my feelings on the sideboard even though I never got to play any games with it before the tournament, and with the deck built I began to anticipate winning some dual lands in my usual arrogant fashion. But two days later my boss informed me it was not to be, and the changed start time seemed like it would default me into showing up late and assisting with judging instead of playing. Disheartened but not defeated, I took the deck with me to FNM hoping to at least get some games in, but even that failed in the same spirit as my solid draft deck.
Departing early from FNM and descending like a bloodthirsty Yeti on the unsuspecting Echo Park, a night of madness helped me forget about it and I tried not to be disappointed in not getting to play. After one of the tamer nights of my life I spent a Saturday writing and taking care of domestic necessities like laundry, perhaps under the influence of hallucinogens and perhaps not. I was well rested for work Sunday morning, quite different from a typical night before a magic tournament, and the morning found me slaving away and resolved to show up after. Instead, my boss gave me the nod to take off early about the same time Ethan called to tell me he and Nick could swing by and grab me, giving me just enough time to kill a 40 ounce breakfast and get to the tournament.
I left my Bag of Eldritch Horror at Knightware after FNM so my deck was already present, but my head was not in it even as I wrote the 75 down from memory. Fortunately Caleb Neufeld was prepared to help medicate a lethargic and far too-rested monster, and after a can of Schlitz and a shot of Bush Mills I was ready to go. The Ancient One was awakened and the stars were almost aligned, so the weapon at hand was in perfect position to leave a mark on the local metagame. Registered, fueled and making my rounds, I was impressed with the turnout both in quantity and caliber, and even more delighted when the 61-player event was rounded to an even number with the addition of Liam Kane. All of the classic weapons were present, Storm, Belcher, Dredge, and they were to be joined by my Necronomicon spawned beast in a day fit for show.
The Vital Info:
Main Deck
4x Basalt Monolith
4x Mesmeric Orb
3x Narcomoeba
1x Dread Return
1x Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
1x Sharuum the Hegemon
1x Blasting Station
3x Cabal Therapy
3x Thoughtseize
4x Force Of Will
3x Mental Misstep
4x Brainstorm
4x Ponder
3x Preordain
4x Gitaxian Probe
4x Polluted Delta
1x Flooded Strand
1x Misty Rainforest
1x Scalding Tarn
4x Underground Sea
3x Island
1x Swamp
2x Ancient Tomb
Sideboard
3x Tormod's Crypt
2x Extirpate
2x Echoing Truth
3x Emrakul, the Aeons Torn
4x Show And Tell
1x Mental Misstep
The Brief Explanation:
The deck revolves around the combo of mesmeric orb and basalt monolith. The monolith taps for three to then untap itself, giving you the ability to mill your deck one card at a time with a mesmeric orb in play. You put narcomoebas into play and set up a situation with dread return, sharuum and blasting station in your graveyard, using cabal therapies to clear cards from their hand or yours if needed. You can infinitely recur the narcomoebas like a sad set of Corrupt Cultists on the Shore of Innsmouth with the Emrakul trigger, making them an abusable resource to therapy as needed and still flashback dread return, targeting Sharuum. His come into play ability gives you blasting station, and then each time a narcomoeba comes into play you do one damage to whatever you choose, usually your opponent Its an infinite loop and wins.
Matches:
Round One brought to you by Schlitz
Merfolk
Game one:
I set up my combo on turn four, my opponent assuming he is dead but not exactly knowing how. He has three curse catchers and I do not have the mana to pay for them when I flashback dread return on Sharuum the Hair Metal Monster so I have to present the three narcomoebas as blockers to ensure I stay alive and win the next turn. There is no combination of cards with what he has left that will kill me, and even though I would be able to pay after my untap step I still trade the Narcs with the cursecatchers, then untap and Rock the Ages.
Game two:
I keep a hand of Island, ponder x2, brainstorm x2, mesmeric orb and gitaxian probe. I decide that this is the kind of ancient rite I want to get behind and keep. I fail to find a second land and I get beat to death by a Mutavault and Lord of Atlantis. Seems like bad times for our hero, I revisit my board and set up a mix of show and tells and the base combo, as there are only six minutes left in the round.
Game Three:
Facing the wrath of the clock, I am fairly confident with some help from fortunate draws I can put this away with ease. I keep a hand of Gitaxian Probe, Show and tell, Cabal Therapy, FoW, Brainstorm, Island and Polluted Delta. I probe to see Mutavault x2, 2x Silvergill Adept, Lord of Atlantis, Force of Will, Aether Vial. I then cast cabal therapy after drawing a mesmeric orb and he forces, so I force back pitching my brainstorm and take the adepts. He plays vial and start taking beats from the lands. I draw another show and tell and time is called during his turn. I play a narcomoeba turn one of time and block vault on turn two to ensure no combination of lords can kill me before time. I get the emrakul and can show him out on turn five of time, live through another set of hits and then win if we kept playing, but it was not to be. We draw in the most unlikely of matches, but the prospect does not seem terrible for me.
1-1-1
0-0-1
I am not off to a great start that I wanted and decide I need some Blood of the Great Old Ones to further empower me. I resolve to consume it and Consult the Eldritch Bag, finding exactly what I need. The wrath renewed, I determine to crush my next opponent with Pyroclastic Style and an Old School Flow.
Round Two brought to you by Bush Mills
1 Land Belcher
I am unaware that he is piloting my pet, the deck so many associate with me and I feel a certain amount of entitle ownership of, much like I am sure Nat Moes does, having helped it on its course through the years of Vintage. The unfortunate Universal Truth that I cannot lose to the deck, that I am impervious to its might as the result of some Alien Evil that I took part in under a darker sky, is unknown to my opponent at the start of the match. I lose the die roll and keep a hand with no countermagic, ready to smash with my fierce weapon.
Game One:
My seven are Orb, island, ancient tomb, ponder, preordain, brainstorm, gitaxian probe. He mulligans to six and keeps, then passes. I am disturbed and suspect dredge, but through proper use of my Power I probe him to discover the truth. He has the fire, he just needs the bomb to destroy the world he faces. I am not loving this situation but I have no fear, believing myself invincible as I draw an underground sea off the probe, play it and ponder. I shuffle into a mental misstep, which I notice will not counter a single card I have scribed to be in his hand. He draws and passes again, a grip of seven, and I take my turn with a brainstorm then preordain, passing with two lands in play and no force of will. His 8th card proves to be a weapon of burning wishes, and with some storm and blood he delivers 12 goblins to the board. The hero of the match begins to sweat, untaps, draws brainstorm, plays orb, and brainstorms to find nothing good, and set up to mill away uselessness. I wonder if I could mill him to death if he had 14 goblins and I had three orbs, but I put the thought aside and I pass. He gets to swing at me, and I am alive for just a turn longer and 3 life. I mill my chaff and rip basalt monolith. I grin at my fortune and execute my opponent with the style and discipline of an early Norwegian Black Metal Album.
Game Two:
This is brutal. This dueling turntables, one equipped with Throbbing Gristle and Detroit Techno Militia and the other with Songs from the Soundtrack of Waiting for Godot. My opening grip is FoW, Probe and Therapy, Monoloth, Brainstorm, Polluted Delta and Ancient tomb. I draw orb off the probe turn one and shred his hand of five down to a couple mana sources. On turn two I play monolith and tap it for orb. He tries to burning with with two red up to shattering spree my artifacts but I deny him with Force and untap with the win on the board.
2-0
1-0-1
I am feeling the Might and Splendor of Darker Times, and I compliment my opponent for his deck choice, give him some minor advice he likely doesn’t want but I hope will help, and I head to the exterior landscape to rejoice in the start of my quest for victory.
Round Three brought to you again by Bush Mills
Control RUG (Ethan Walker)
I am quite energetic and joke some with Ethan about how epic our match will be. Since he picked me up to bring me along and I know he has grudges in his board I am already thinking about my gameplan for game two as we begin game one, feeling the whiskey and enjoying my deck a little more than can be healthy. I know that Ethan just had an encounter of an unpleasant nature so I do my best to keep this round upbeat and friendly, even though it is my intention to Crush him with Blasphemous Savagery.
Game One:
Not much for notes but this game results in a mess of discard and counterspells that put us both in topdeck mode but with me having a monolith on board. I eventually draw the orb and put the game away, happy to have explained it enough to Ethan not to have to go through the motions.
Game Two:
Game two is a fierce battle of Angry Gladiators, like a Polar Bear and an Allosaurus. I have Show/Emrakul and he has a bunch of hate for my main combo. During his turn three mainphase he casts Vendilion Clique taking my Emrakul. He beats me to 2 before I play a Narcomoeba, stalling the Clique and my inevitable doom. He is in top deck mode and I have Force of will and two Show and Tells. I draw the Emrakul and play Show and Tell, watching him reveal a Wasteland to my monster. I know he has lightning bolts in his 75 and its not over, but he draws and passes and I draw misstep. I have the mana to harcast it and Force of Will, and I feel safe as I annihilate his board. He draws dead and the game concludes at the will of my Epic and Ancient Evil Friend.
2-0
2-0-1
Round Four is an independent production of a Monster from the Midwest
Dredge (Jacob Feturechi)
Jacob is a competent dredge player, but even so my experience with this match has me aware that it is favorable and his unfamiliarity with my deck promises to help. I tell him I am preparing to dispatch him to reclaim the Blood of Fallen Kings from all of my Foes, we laugh some and begin our games with him on the play. As of now I have not won a die roll, but fortunately it has not mattered much. It is like the cry of a doomed beast promising a ruthless fight to the death, but still resulting in the same execution.
Game One:
He plays a coliseum and passes, smartly playing around mental misstep. I play an island and ponder, passing back. He casts breakthrough and I Force it, untapping and playing mesmeric orb. He mills a bridge and casts breakthrough again, this time resolving it and dumping a dredge guy and two more bridges in the yard. I untap and cast cabal therapy, naming Stormfront Pegasus, then play narcomoeba and eat the three bridges naming White Knight, letting him keep Golgari thug. It takes a couple turns and he gets an Ichorid in the yard, but it will never be blessed with the thrill of devouring the bones of a putrid imp to gain the power to rise up against me, as I untap, preordain, and cast the monolith for some St. Vitus style doom.
Game Two:
I am not sure what Jacob’s plan is against me, but not concerned either. I board in my entire fifteen and choose to remove the combo and my thoughtseizes. He plays first again and dodges the expected mental misstep on turn one yet again, even though I don’t have it this time, and with a mighty pass after playing city of brass the turn becomes mine. I play a fetch and pass, preparing to end of turn brainstorm, a dream that goes off unhindered after I force of will his breakthrough. I play a turn two tormod’s crypt and have extirpate in hand as I set up for turn 4 emrakul, peeking at his grip with my revered and much loved Gitaxian Probe to ensure I have nothing to fear as I put Cthulhu, or rather, Emrakul into play, promising to tear aeons before my opponent. Jacob knowingly scoops after a turn that doesn’t provide him with answers, and I am victorious once again.
2-0
3-0-1
Round 5 is brought to you once more by Bush Mills, doubling its efforts in light of its prior round absence.
ANT (Liam Kane)
Liam drew the prior round with Vidi, and discusses drawing with me and putting all the pressure on the last round. After deciding that means we both have to win instead of one of drawing in we play, knowing that I am heavily favored.
Game One:
I have a very controlling hand and use Probe and Therapy to rip apart liam’s hand after misstepping his first turn ponder. We joke about how I manage to pay a considerable amount of life recklessly and fearlessly, and on turn three I cast monolith and tap it for orb and pass. Liam draws burning wish and makes me regret it, shattering both of my artifacts on a malicious spree of fascination. The game goes on for another four turns as I assemble the win while repeatedly stripping him of cards and countering his business. It is considerable fun for me, though I imagine Liam did not enjoy it much.
Game Two:
I board in only misstep and he brings in two swarms, and I misstep his turn one ponder again. I follow up with Thoughtseize on one and therapy on two, allowing me to assemble the combo with no pressure by turn 5 after making him discard something turn after turn. I kill him with my Blasting Station and the Power of its Riff, launching myself into position to draw into top 8 and feeling like the day has taken little effort.
2-0
4-0-1
Round Six is sponsored by the desire for food
Mark NO RUG
ID
I congratulate my opponent, sign the slip and sort my deck for top 8. I then head for food as I contemplate my strong sense of inner peace, like some sort of blood-drenched Zen known only to Warlords and Serial Killers. My inner Vlad the Impaler is fed and I have plenty of time to talk about how awesome I am and how great my deck is, along with finding out what everyone else is playing. I fail to discover all 8 decks but it doesn’t really matter much to me, as I feel like the ones I am aware of I am favored in.
Top 8 will be my round Six opponent, who I will face, Alex Kwan with noForce Bant, Kevin Koga with Aggro Loam, Liam Kane with ANT, Shai Shaham with Junk, another guy with Hive Mind, and a deck I don’t know that turns out to be goblins.
Top 8 sponsored by Unknown Hinson
Mark NO RUG
Game one:
As is the theme of the day Mark goes first, playing a turn one noble heirarch and passing. I play probe without playing a land and he dazes it, so I then play a land and thoughtseize him. He plays another Heirarch and I resolve mesmeric orb. He plays again and plays a Goyf I believe and I untap, Gitaxian Probe and drop Basalt Monolith safely, comboing out with little effort and launching us recklessly into game two. It is the shortest and most raw I have combo’d all day, and it feels strange to accomplish it with such ease.
Game Two:
I decide to board out the combo and bring in the Cthuhlhu Doom plan, a decision that I do not regret as he plays a turn one Relic of Progenitus. After a second one, a dryad arbor and a noble heirarch find themselves on the board, I use a turn to set up with some pondering and brainstorming. On my third turn I draw Emrakul but get met with Vendilion Clique banishing the emrakul and replacing it with a third show and tell, leaving me with three show and tell, narcomoeba, and thoughtseize. I cast the seize and take his natural order, leaving him with Daze and REB, then cast the moeba as a blocker and he dazes it so he can hit me for four the next turn with just a REB in hand. I draw for turn, casually amused as Emrakul #2 enters my grip, and I immediately cast Show and Tell as I would have anyway. He cracks relic to draw a card, then decides not to blast it. I put down emrakul and he plays nothing, and the game ends at the hands of my fearsome yet handsomely charming Eldrazi Master.
Top 4:
Alex Kwan with NoForce Bant
At this point I am pretty worn out and still buzzed and have no notes, so it’s a little rushed but covers the gist of it. Alex and I routinely trade off wins, and since I defeated him in our last encounter it was his turn to win, something we joked about as we shuffled,
Game one:
Some sloppy between us leads to a slow game and me with a mesmeric orb, brainstorming and putting the monolith back and milling it away instead of holding it to play and win. I don’t know why I did that but I am not punished, winning a couple turns later after adding some tension to the match up. The most important thing I note is that Alex has Maindeck Ooze and Karakas, a potential answer to either plan.
I decide on Show and Tell and we go to game two.
Game two
He has a ton of hate for my native combo and I set up the show and tell plan, but I make a mistake and leave him with a knight of the reliquary in hand that I could have thoughtseized and cannot Show Emrakul unless I draw another discard spell. He never plays the knight, keeping mana up for ooze, assuming I am playing nothing because of it. I don’t tip my hand and lose graciously to my own simple mistake, as I could have won easily on turn four if I would have focused on the agenda instead of gaining value. A lesson learned or rather remembered, because I discussed this exact scenario with Liam before the match.
Game Three
This goes similar to game two, except I rip his hand apart properly and again stare down cards against my combo that do nothing to my current plan. Unfortunately I do not draw a third land for four turns and by the time I do Alex has drawn a daze and beats me to death with arbor, pridemage and gaddock teeg. If I would have picked up a land in either of the two turns when he was empty handed it would have been over, but it was Alex’s turn to win and the Fates saw to it that he did. I am satisfied with my results, and I congratulate Alex as we turn to watch Kevin execute a win so they can draw and wrap up the tournament.
The Aftermath
I finish in third and pick up two tropical islands, trading one of them for a tundra and sentencing the other to my trade binder between a contested warzone and an inkmoth nexus. Another great tournament as always, further representing the strength of SoCal Legacy and Knighware as an amazing place to play, learn and win.
I want to congratulate everyone that did well, including Adam who finished tenth with Belcher, keeping the torch alive. I also want to compliment every one of my opponents for being great, having fun and for playing. If I got any details wrong I will offer a half-hearted apology, as I did most of this from memory, but the majority of the details are correct and the point gets across.
I would definitely encourage people to pick this up and become familiar with it. This is a powerhouse and I imagine it will start to show up in the future. I will definitely pilot it again. It could use a new name, I often referred to it as the Heavy Metal Deck because the Orb looks like Lochnar and the Basalt Monolith is literal Hard Rock, but I am not overly concerned or looking to confuse anyone. Thanks for reading, skimming, skipping, or whatever you did to get to this end. Adios.