Legacy Decks Described in Five Words

[RaNDoMxGeSTuReS]

A fun thread in lieu of serious ones.

Format:
Deck
Five word description

Nic Fit
Shit, you play basics, too?

[ImpinAintEasy]

RUG Delver

Untap, Upkeep, Brainstorm, Delver Flips

Burn

Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn, Burn

[whienot]

Shoal Infect
Serioulsy, bro. What the fuck?!?

Goblins
I thought you were dead.

Burn
You shop at Walmart, too?

[bfeingersh]

Dredge
Public masturbation with graveyard triggers

shamelessly stolen from Chags

[ramanujan]

High Tide

8 turns, 63 minutes, Victory

[Malacoda]

Seen on another forum:

Thopters

"Judge, got another Humility question!"

[dontbiteitholmes]

Sneak and Show:
Misplay, Misplay, Misplay, Win anyways.

Belcher:
How juggalos win at Magic.

Enchantress:
Retards never scoop game one.

[Taurelin]

Solidarity
In response: I kill you

RW-Rifter
Defeats Goblins. Well, it did.

Faerie Stompy
In fact, Mono Blue Suicide

Dragon Stompy
Mulligan, mulligan, mulligan, Magus, win

[Julian23]

Spanish Inquisiton

Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

[sdematt]

Dreadstill

Murder you with a 12/12?

-Matt

[Mr Miagi]

Belcher

blah, blah, blah, blah .. blah?

@ spanish inquisition: I really dig the Monty Python vid with this quote: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uprjmoSMJ-o

[Kuma]

Aeon Bridge: Please don't have a Wasteland.

Maverick: Nice blue deck. I win.

Pox: What? It's not 1995 anymore?

or perhaps: How do I round up?

Reanimator: Fatty power creep? So what?

[Nihil Credo]

Caw-Cartel:

http://i.imgur.com/3r2Sp.gif

(apologies for not quite abiding by the thread rules)

[death]

ANT

Infernal Tutor resolves? Ooops punt!!

[ImpinAintEasy]

Lands

Is the round over yet?

[RaNDoMxGeSTuReS]

DDFT
Um, how do I win?

[damionblackgear]

Belcher - I won on turn one!

[ScatmanX]

DDFT
Um, how do I win?
DDFT
Karakas, Badlands, Silence, Doomsday, Brainstorm.

with 2 more cards you could add Ideas Unbound and a Rain of Filth on that hand.
(nice deck)

[Snap_Keep]

Stifle/Wasteland decks

Heh... nice mana base, greedsack.

[B.C.]

DDFT
Karakas, Badlands, Silence, Doomsday, Brainstorm.

with 2 more cards you could add Ideas Unbound and a Rain of Filth on that hand.
(nice deck)

DDFT: Wait... um... I got this...

[heroicraptor]

Pox: What? It's not 1995 anymore?

or perhaps: How do I round up?

Does anyone have a calculator?

[ELD]

Hive Mind:
I don't want any friends

Reanimate:
Good thing they banned Mystical

[Phoenix Ignition]

Rug Delver (again):
Flying Nacatl power creep, bitch!

[nedleeds]

Deuces Wild / 2 Card Monte:

(to the dredge player)

Yeah ... main deck Leyline rocks

[Zombie]

Isn't 2 card monte a Vintage deck?

[ImpinAintEasy]

Isn't 2 card monte a Vintage deck?

That is seven words sir!

[Koby]

Maverick
Shuffles twice at every turn.

Canadian Threshold
Fuck! Who still plays Stifle!?

Hive Mind
Pass the turn, you lose!

Solidarity
The Stack is my bitch.

[JDK]

Spiral Tide:
Island, Island, Island, Island, Next?

UR Delver & Burn:
Lifelink? Okay, let us board.

[Ozymandias]

Landstill:
Turns Again?...Can you scoop?

[UseLess]

(Small)pox variants:

Turn 1 smallpox. Player lost.

(You've got to love MWS.)

[Koby]

Landstill:
Turns Again?...Can you scoop?

LOL, I see you got to use this line twice yesterday. Seriously - play Belcher, powered by Whiskey.

[Fade]

Esper Control:

Lingering Souls. Flashback Lingering Souls.

[Nonex]

Survival:

Did we really need Vengevine?


Reanimator:

So retarded it induces ictus.


Dredge:

Just flip everything upside down.


ANT:

Rituals, draw deck, Rituals, Tendrils.


Dreadstill:

Blue control, faster than aggro.

[solidarity!]

Solidarity

Wait... In response i play!

[r0773nluck]

Canadian Threshold
Fuck! Who still plays Stifle!?


Took the words right out of my mouth

[(nameless one)]

MUD:

Mulligan, Mulligan, Nothing, Nothing, Scoop.

[The Treefolk Master]

MUC:

Don't untap? For how long?

I guess Don't is actually a conjunction of 2 words, No is a suitable substitute...

[emidln]

Doomsday
Balls on the block, go.

[paeng4983]

Berserk stompy/ TES
Do you want to concede?

W_stax/ landstill/ counterTOP variants
How many minutes more remaining?

[dahcmai]

Storm - Grapshot, because I'm a dick.


43 Lands - I will eventually kill you



Mono-B Control - Yes, people still play this

[catmint]

Elves
Cast Emrakul on turn 3

[lordofthepit]

Naya Maverick:
EOT, bring back Punishing Fire.

[Hireax]

burn

Out of gas. Dead yet?

[DerFern]

DDFT:
Doomsday. No more words needed.

[(nameless one)]

Belcher:

Here is my winning 7

[I am the brainwasher]

Spiral Tide:

I need to get laid.

[DrHealex]

Merfolk:
You play Blue? GLUB GLUB!

Nic Fit:
I play BIG dudes. ROAR!

[kiblast]

Landfall Boros

15 fetchlands and 0/1 cats.


Aluren

I don't really need Recruiters.


Caw Cartel

+7 ca on turn 4.

[lsho]

Darkblade:

Confidant Trigger, Batterskull, Take Five.

[Pastorofmuppets]

Elves:
Force of Will? Game two.

Landstill:
Someone forgot Lost already ended

[Kuma]

Elves:
Force of Will? Game two.

Or Belcher... :smile:

[baghdadbob]

Burn

Should have ran brow beat. :smile:

[Bignasty197]

Reanimator
Land, Ritual, Entomb, Exhume, Iona?

High Tide
Round ended an hour ago.

Affinity
Fracturing Gust? Go fuck yourself.

Junk
Land, Mox Diamond, Confidant, go.

[boneclub24]

Berserk
Swing, Growth, Invigorate, Invigorate, Berserk

[joemauer]

Imperial Painter:
Spent life savings to purchase.

[(nameless one)]

Dutch Staxx:

I have tons of money

[Justin]

Merfolk:

Why can't we win anymore?

[GGoober]

This is the best thread in a long time.

Goblins:
Mountain, Lackey, Connects, Piledrivers*, Win

*Please take a second to enjoy the art of Goblin Piledriver by hovering your mouse above this link.

[Teknique]

CounterTop
Green Sun's Zenith? Fuck you.

[Jeff Kruchkow]

Playing TES at my locals against scrubs
Storm 10? What's That Mean?

High Tide
No wait, you can fizzle!
(Pro Tip: no, you can't)

[RaNDoMxGeSTuReS]

Opponent losing game two against TES at SCG Des Moines.
Tendrils kills me? I'll Force.

[Kich867]

Mono-Blue Control:

Ummm...I'm gonna counter that.

[Namida]

DDFT:
Doomsday. No more words needed.

DDFT: Doomsday, think a bit...concede.

I heard that out of a player at a local tournament last year, because I was playing DDFT in a match and my opponent was so adamantly asking me to double check my storm count that I second guessed myself and said "Well, either you're dead or I really fucked up here." Our lady can be a cruel mistress if you don't come prepared.

[Sloshthedark]

Shared Fate
I can't win, can you?

43 Lands
Nah, one game is enough // We won't finish game two

Painter
Blue - library, hand, board, everything

[Whippoorwill]

CounterTop
Counterbalance on the stack, Top/Brainstorm.
Time left in the round?
End of turn make Thopters.
Use Jace to Fateseal you.

[Hireax]

Painter-Stone
I want it painted black // Rolling Stones yay ^^

[Di]

Spiral Tide: Qualified me for Pro Tour.



I win.

[dontbiteitholmes]

This thread would be much better if it was Legacy decks described with Hiakus.

[DrHealex]

This thread would be much better if it was Legacy decks described with Hiakus.

I agree. That was the first thing I thought of after reading whipporwill's multilined post.
I just assumed we didn't do Haiku to avoid drawing attention to the people that can't snap?

[kiblast]

Haiku, not Hiaku :wink:

[Hopo]

I agree. That was the first thing I thought of after reading whipporwill's multilined post.
I just assumed we didn't do hiakus to avoid drawing attention to the people that can't snap?

It's haiku. Not hiaku. 5-7-5.

[(nameless one)]

Hiaku! sounds like something oriental that you yell when your constipated.

[Whippoorwill]

I agree. That was the first thing I thought of after reading whipporwill's multilined post.
I just assumed we didn't do Haiku to avoid drawing attention to the people that can't snap?

CounterTop
Counter all my spells.
Game 1 takes fifty minutes.
Someone kill me now.

[GnuHouse]

Blade Control
Standard deck, big boy cards

[Justin]

Death&Taxes:

Combat damage on the stack?

[Mr.C]

Imperial Painter:

Blue. Vrrr Vrrr Vrrr, Game?

[Hireax]

Belcher
Look at my p-p-p-p-poker face

Or

Seven cards, win or concede...

[Justin]

Maverick

Tutors for creatures, lands, equipment...

[JustPAT4]

Burn Haiku

Bolt you in the face
Cuz mom gave me forty bucks.
Bolt your face again.

[emidln]

DDFT

Rain of Filth Doomsday
Pay half my life, stack my deck
Tendrils for the win

[TsumiBand]

I like haikus.

Angel Stompy
Mox, Tomb, Glowrider?
Ah, I hear that's pretty good
against Iggy Pop

Tight Sight
Oh my god right now.
Moment's Peace, NOT a wincon?
Shit, what year is this?

Goblin Trenches
Counter, play land, go.
Counter, play Probe, no kicker.
Make Goblins. Fuck you.

Mono-Black Control
Fuck, okay, look, just...
Why don't you go burn your deck
and learn to play ANT

[dontbiteitholmes]

Belcher
Derp, Seven mana.
Do you have a Force of Will?
Damn, game two sideboard.

Hive Mind
Turn two Show and Tell.
Hey, nice Noble Heirarch.
Hive Mind, Pact, Pact, pass.

Nic Fit
Done reading my card?
Therapy, Flashback, Hymn, Hymn.
Why are you crying?

[Teknique]

U(wxyz) Control
Jace, the Mind Sculptor
Plus two, fateseal you. Keep it.
Where did your deck go?

[Koby]

U(wxyz) Control
Jace, the Mind Sculptor
Plus two, fateseal you. Keep it.
Where did your deck go?

+∞
Winner.

[LennonMarx]

Lands

Exploration, Loam
Swing in with Creeping Tar Pit.
That's time in the round.

[Grymer]

Imperial Painter

"Oh you play with non-basic's"

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

[Julian23]

Bant Survival

(T1): Hierarch
(T2): Survival
(T3): Retainers, Iona, go!

[Fry]

Death and Taxes:
One Mother of Runes,
Thalia Screws You More Bitch,
Yep, Hate Bearers Win.

[feline]

Belcher: Please don't reveal Taiga CRAP!!!

Fast Zoo: Wish I was still viable.

Faithless Dredge: Sideboard games are gonna suck.

High Tide/Spiral Tide: Goldfishing every round, my apologies.

Goblins: The goblins just keep coming!

Liliana Pox: My sinkhole has a home!

Prison Stax: Do you hate trinisphere yet?

Maverick: I have the best creatures. (that aren't show & tell / reanimate'd into play lol)

[Purgatory]

RUG
Topdeck Tropical
I have three of those in play
18 lands, my ass

[Kuma]

Hive Mind: The stack? Sigh, I'll explain.

or perhaps: That card? Doesn't stop me.

[Hardcore]

POX: I say; less is more.

[Fizzeler]

Dredge: I heard you like Ichorids?
Affinity: Dump hand turn 1, concede?
Lands: Loam, Waste, Crucible, Tarpits, time!

[Kap'n Cook]

Imperial Painter:
Spent life savings to purchase.

Not really. It's basically the same price as most other decks.

[Malchar]

Imperial Painter
turn 1 moon, pyroblast backup.

[Kap'n Cook]

Imperial Painter
turn 1 moon, pyroblast backup.


Malchar I think you'll like this one.

Imperial Painter

"Blast"
'You can't...'
"It's Blue"

[GoldenCid]

Painter decks:

I really hate you, emraku!!

[Orangeair]

Can't believe I haven't seen this one yet

Belcher:
Watch me count to seven!

[Taurelin]

UW-Miracle:
EOT Terminus, untap, Jace, win.

Burn:
Seven Bolts by turn three.