TeenieBopper
10-08-2007, 12:00 AM
Goblins is not a deck to beat. What the fuck ever. I set out to prove that it was, indeed, still a good deck in the current metagame.
I scrubbed out during the grinder at comix zone with the shitty white build. Boo for not having the stuff I needed.
Here's what I played at the DLD
3 Cabal Therapy
4 Goblin Lackey
4 Mogg Fanatic
4 Aether Vial
4 Goblin Piledriver
1 Goblin Sharpshooter
2 Gempalm Incinerator
4 Goblin Matron
4 Goblin War-chief
4 Goblin Ringleader
2 Siege Gang Commander
2 Patriarch's Bidding
2 Blood Crypt
2 Wooded Foothills
4 Bloodstained Mire
4 Badlands
4 Wasteland
6 Mountain
SB:
3 Anarchy
3 Smother(FUCK TARMAGOYF UP ITS STUPID FUCKING ASS)
3 Pithing Needle
3 Tormod's Crypt
3 Price of Progress
I didn't take names, and since I really just started playing again, I don't know most of the out of towners.
Round one- U/G/w/r Thresh
I win game one. I end it at five life with a lethal Tarmagoyf on his side. Fuck Tarmagoyf. Highlight of the game: him tapping wearbears for mana to hardcast FoW on my Bidding.
Game two he pyroclasms away my board while beating down with 'goyf (fuck tarmagoyf). I cast Bidding. Yay Bidding!
Round two- RecSur (Brian Thomas)
I'm scared shitless that he's playing Belcher like yesterday. Thank god he's not.
He untaps with a Rofellos and casts Deranged Hermit. I kill Rofellos and therapy away Recurring Nightmare. I wreck his board with Goblin Sharpshooter and win.
Game two he mulls to five. I waste his land, kill his bird and therapy away his Walls of Roots while beating down.
Round three- Mono Black Storm combo (that I'm later told is Spanish Inquisition. Whatever the fuck that is)
He calculates wrong and can only Tendrils me for 18.
I rip apart his hand, taking Inferan Tutor and 2x Culling the Weak. He tries to go off facing down lethal, but can't.
Round four- Affinity (Getsickanddie)
I fuckign hate this match-up. It was shitty in Onslaught/Mirrodin standard and it's still shitty now.
He kills me.
He gets double Engineered Plague.
Round Five- Dryad Sligh
Game one is close. I fuck up, losing the game. Had I made the right play, half his deck was outs anyways.
I go nuts with ringleaders, matrons, and siege gangs game two. I does have a big ass Quirion Dryad though. But I win.
Game three, I therapy away Tarmagoyf. What does he do? Plays Tarmagoyf on turn two and three anyways. Fuck Tarmagoyf. I could deal with one. But not two. Especially not two backed up with a shit ton of burn.
Round six- Lands!
I'm psyched that a 4-2 is going to make it into top 8. I figure I have a chance because I'm in 10th and my opponent is in 9th.
Game one, I do stupid stuff and kill him, swinging for like 40 without Piledriver.
Game two he does stupid stuff and I end the game with zero permanents.
Game three, I open mountain, lackey, siege gang with wasteland back up. He rips mana bond off the top and plays both a Maze of Ith and Mishra's factory. He does stupid Life from the Loam things. I play Price of Progress, doing 18 damage. He's beating down with Factories. I rip Pithing Needle. Instead of making the right play of vialing out war-chief and playing Pithing Needle on Maze, I play Piledriver instead. Thankfully, he swings in again and I can play needle on my turn for the win.
So I'm 4-2, beat the guy that was in 9th, and two of my opponents are already in top 4. I figure I have a good shot, maybe losing out to the dude who was 7th with 12 points. I come in ninth. Instead of the guy who loss to Friendly Phil Stoltz, Tariq leapfrogs from like 14th place or some stupid bullshit like that. Fuck this game.
Quotes of the Day:
"Take your bandana off. What are you, a fucking insurgent?" Di (with a silent 'i') to WhiteGhost
"It's like a flesh quilt." Di, on cuddling with fat chicks after drunken beergoggle sex.
"I'm pretty sure I've contributed to the death of many senior citizens." Getsickanddie
"My dick burns. A lot. So if we could get this over with quick so I could go scratch." FakeSpam
"Don't believe him. Look at his eyes." Nightmare, in regards to the very asian Nantuko Shady
"If I had a choice between herpes and you, I'd probably take the herpes." Brian Thomas
"I never go to the movies. I'm Jewish. They're all made by Mel Gibson." LonelyBaritone
"Why'd I have to grow up with Dave Spector? I'm booting him. Zach is a much cooler Jew." Munkie
Highlight of the weekend:
Healing Salve, Healing Leaves, Sol Ring, spell, spell, Mind's Desire for Six. FTK your dude. Shock the FTK, turning it into Anger in the yard. Pyrexian Dreadnaugh, STIFLE!
-Nightmare kicking my ass in Mental Magic. I had it coming though. I Tendrils of Agony'ed him out for 18 the game before.
Props-
Goblins- For being awesome. I won so many games I really had no business winning. I love the little red men. Not a DtB my ass.
All the people who showed up- for making it a successful event.
Team Sexy/Epic- for reminding me how awesome the community surrounding this game is.
Matt and Zach- For running a good tourney
the venue- for having a bar on site for me to go drink my sorrows away
Nightmare and Fakespam- for buying the drinks that let me drink my sorrows away
Wastedlife- For beating Tariq. And winning. But mostly for beating Tariq.
Mental Magic- For being more fun than Type 4.
NickRIT, Nightmare, Wastedlife, and Getsickanddie- for letting me borrow cards.
Slops-
Tarmagoyf. Fuck you. Fuck you up your stupid ass. I hope your bitch ass gets smothered on sight.
Tie Breakers- Fuck Ninth place.
Nightmare and Di- for ID'ing in round two. How'd that work out?
Lorwyn- for being all hype and no substance with regards to Legacy goblins (that's right, I said it)
I scrubbed out during the grinder at comix zone with the shitty white build. Boo for not having the stuff I needed.
Here's what I played at the DLD
3 Cabal Therapy
4 Goblin Lackey
4 Mogg Fanatic
4 Aether Vial
4 Goblin Piledriver
1 Goblin Sharpshooter
2 Gempalm Incinerator
4 Goblin Matron
4 Goblin War-chief
4 Goblin Ringleader
2 Siege Gang Commander
2 Patriarch's Bidding
2 Blood Crypt
2 Wooded Foothills
4 Bloodstained Mire
4 Badlands
4 Wasteland
6 Mountain
SB:
3 Anarchy
3 Smother(FUCK TARMAGOYF UP ITS STUPID FUCKING ASS)
3 Pithing Needle
3 Tormod's Crypt
3 Price of Progress
I didn't take names, and since I really just started playing again, I don't know most of the out of towners.
Round one- U/G/w/r Thresh
I win game one. I end it at five life with a lethal Tarmagoyf on his side. Fuck Tarmagoyf. Highlight of the game: him tapping wearbears for mana to hardcast FoW on my Bidding.
Game two he pyroclasms away my board while beating down with 'goyf (fuck tarmagoyf). I cast Bidding. Yay Bidding!
Round two- RecSur (Brian Thomas)
I'm scared shitless that he's playing Belcher like yesterday. Thank god he's not.
He untaps with a Rofellos and casts Deranged Hermit. I kill Rofellos and therapy away Recurring Nightmare. I wreck his board with Goblin Sharpshooter and win.
Game two he mulls to five. I waste his land, kill his bird and therapy away his Walls of Roots while beating down.
Round three- Mono Black Storm combo (that I'm later told is Spanish Inquisition. Whatever the fuck that is)
He calculates wrong and can only Tendrils me for 18.
I rip apart his hand, taking Inferan Tutor and 2x Culling the Weak. He tries to go off facing down lethal, but can't.
Round four- Affinity (Getsickanddie)
I fuckign hate this match-up. It was shitty in Onslaught/Mirrodin standard and it's still shitty now.
He kills me.
He gets double Engineered Plague.
Round Five- Dryad Sligh
Game one is close. I fuck up, losing the game. Had I made the right play, half his deck was outs anyways.
I go nuts with ringleaders, matrons, and siege gangs game two. I does have a big ass Quirion Dryad though. But I win.
Game three, I therapy away Tarmagoyf. What does he do? Plays Tarmagoyf on turn two and three anyways. Fuck Tarmagoyf. I could deal with one. But not two. Especially not two backed up with a shit ton of burn.
Round six- Lands!
I'm psyched that a 4-2 is going to make it into top 8. I figure I have a chance because I'm in 10th and my opponent is in 9th.
Game one, I do stupid stuff and kill him, swinging for like 40 without Piledriver.
Game two he does stupid stuff and I end the game with zero permanents.
Game three, I open mountain, lackey, siege gang with wasteland back up. He rips mana bond off the top and plays both a Maze of Ith and Mishra's factory. He does stupid Life from the Loam things. I play Price of Progress, doing 18 damage. He's beating down with Factories. I rip Pithing Needle. Instead of making the right play of vialing out war-chief and playing Pithing Needle on Maze, I play Piledriver instead. Thankfully, he swings in again and I can play needle on my turn for the win.
So I'm 4-2, beat the guy that was in 9th, and two of my opponents are already in top 4. I figure I have a good shot, maybe losing out to the dude who was 7th with 12 points. I come in ninth. Instead of the guy who loss to Friendly Phil Stoltz, Tariq leapfrogs from like 14th place or some stupid bullshit like that. Fuck this game.
Quotes of the Day:
"Take your bandana off. What are you, a fucking insurgent?" Di (with a silent 'i') to WhiteGhost
"It's like a flesh quilt." Di, on cuddling with fat chicks after drunken beergoggle sex.
"I'm pretty sure I've contributed to the death of many senior citizens." Getsickanddie
"My dick burns. A lot. So if we could get this over with quick so I could go scratch." FakeSpam
"Don't believe him. Look at his eyes." Nightmare, in regards to the very asian Nantuko Shady
"If I had a choice between herpes and you, I'd probably take the herpes." Brian Thomas
"I never go to the movies. I'm Jewish. They're all made by Mel Gibson." LonelyBaritone
"Why'd I have to grow up with Dave Spector? I'm booting him. Zach is a much cooler Jew." Munkie
Highlight of the weekend:
Healing Salve, Healing Leaves, Sol Ring, spell, spell, Mind's Desire for Six. FTK your dude. Shock the FTK, turning it into Anger in the yard. Pyrexian Dreadnaugh, STIFLE!
-Nightmare kicking my ass in Mental Magic. I had it coming though. I Tendrils of Agony'ed him out for 18 the game before.
Props-
Goblins- For being awesome. I won so many games I really had no business winning. I love the little red men. Not a DtB my ass.
All the people who showed up- for making it a successful event.
Team Sexy/Epic- for reminding me how awesome the community surrounding this game is.
Matt and Zach- For running a good tourney
the venue- for having a bar on site for me to go drink my sorrows away
Nightmare and Fakespam- for buying the drinks that let me drink my sorrows away
Wastedlife- For beating Tariq. And winning. But mostly for beating Tariq.
Mental Magic- For being more fun than Type 4.
NickRIT, Nightmare, Wastedlife, and Getsickanddie- for letting me borrow cards.
Slops-
Tarmagoyf. Fuck you. Fuck you up your stupid ass. I hope your bitch ass gets smothered on sight.
Tie Breakers- Fuck Ninth place.
Nightmare and Di- for ID'ing in round two. How'd that work out?
Lorwyn- for being all hype and no substance with regards to Legacy goblins (that's right, I said it)