Parcher
01-07-2008, 05:18 PM
What is Team Calosso you ask?
With our recent successes, I have been assaulted with questions like. "How can I join?", "What are your requirements?", and "Is Calosso contagious?". To clear this all up, I am going to list the membership requirements, benefits, and team members of the auspicious Team Calosso for you below:
Membership Requirements:
1. You must be a resident of the United States, but not American-born.
2. You must have a certified I.Q. of less than 91.
3. You must Top 8 at least one tournament using a deck containing no Dual Lands, nor Tarmogoyfs.
That's it, but you would be surprised how few Legacy players can boast filling all three of these. Your rewards for joining are a free six-month membership to "The Guardian"; newsletter about Calosso Fuentes and his adventures, a "I Smacked Calosso" hoodie featuring a picture of the man himself with a huge lipstick mark on his cheek(contrary to viscious rumour, it is not a penis drawing), and a coupon for $1.00 off any style of El Paso Refried Beans.
Current membership and ordered qualifications are as follows:
Parcher: Wales / 86 / Calosso Deck Wins, 5-Color Aggro-Combo
GRAH: Belarus / 14 / Burn
Elventitz: Ireland / 69 / Rabid Wombat
Calosso: Uhhh....whatever country that kid Fez is from / 58 / Joblins
Now on to the less important stuff. As usual the Hatfields picked me up three hours late, but did include Happy Gilmore and zulander for entertainment on our trip. I got my ass grabbed no less than a half-dozen times by Happy....which did not make me happy. We made a few stops along the way, and arrived at our hotel sometime around 10:30. After greets to the rest of the NoVA crew we five got down to finishing our deckbuilding. Knowing the Syracuse area, and some of the other players I predicted a great deal of Landstill and Survival. Happy and the Hatfields opted to go with Breakfast instead of Threshold, agreeing with my assessment, while I decided to lamentbly pass on my usual Tacosnape deck, and run 5-Color Aggro-Combo; Or Ichorid for short.
4 City of Brass
4 Gemstone Mine
3 Undiscovered Paradise
4 Bridge from Below
4 Cabal Therapy
4 Breakthrough
3 Dread Return
3 Deep Analysis
1 Careful Study
4 Lion's Eye Diamond
4 Ichorid
4 Narcomoeba
4 Golgari Grave-Troll
4 Stinkweed Imp
4 Putrid Imp
3 Golgari Thug
2 Cephalid Sage
1 Flame-Kin Zealot
4 Chain of Vapor
4 Pithing Needle
3 Cabal Pit
2 Ancient Grudge
2 Ray of Revelation
The deck is fairly standard excepting the lands. Testing showed how powerful Putrid Imp was against control, but I was often having issues with having to ship hands with Coliseum as my only land for this very reason. I also was never able to use it game one unless I had two lands in my opening hand. I was very pleased with the Undiscovereds. The Pits were there for Jailer mostly, but also for Teeg in non Blue decks that I could leave the combo in (see: Survival). I saw only one Jailer the whole day though, and no Teeg. What I did use it for often was after hardcasting a Thug or Narco against control. The Narco would only get me tokens, as control has difficulty removing Bridges. Killing the Thug with Pit was pure gas though. It gave you a Dredger while returning a free Narco, and gave tokens, AND could be removed to Ichorid while I was slow-rolling against the Landstill decks I faced all day. I can't say it's definite for my sideboard, but it was at least worth it's slot this day.
The tournament was held in a Nazi encampment disguised as a shopping mall. Not only was smoking banned in the mall, it was banned anywhere on their property. To exasperate this, most of the day they had SS troopers patrolling the grounds for this very vice. Bastards. The bathrooms were poorly located and filthy, and I was harassed by a 14 year old boy in an Abercrombie & Fitch hoodie who kept hanging out right in front of them. On the other hand, the game store was very cool. It didn't have it's own bathrooms FTL, but was packed with neat toys, comic, posters, and infinite games. There was enough room there, but barely. They were running a Yugioh tournament concurrently, and if we had an even better turnout the place would have overflowed. Forgive my notes, as most games with Ichorid are blowouts one way or the other, or a grind-fest.
Round One: Chris Larusso: Suicide Black:
Game one: I combo out turn two after seeing Hymn and Shade.
Game two: He lands a second turn Wretch on the play that I Needle. Unfortunately he also boards in Crypt. I actually Needle his second Crypt after he activates one because all of his hate cards gave me plenty of time to win. A Shade with infi-mana eventually ran me out of threats and finished it though.
Game three: A first turn PImp gets in for one before I Dredge two Bridges and a Therapy. I leave him with two Smothers and an Edict, and keep saccing Moebas to make tokens before he can draw hate. 8 2/2s > 3 removal spells.
1-0, 2-1
Round two: Dave Price: Survival
Game one: A first turn Therapy nabs Survival. I attempt to combo off turn two, but fizzle with 6 Zombie tokens in play, after Therapying a Wish and Tarmogoyf. Fortunately, even a topdecked Burning Wish cannot find Dave an answer to the horde, and he dies in three turns.
Game two: I mulligan into a subpar hand, while Dave lacks Survival but has everything else. He chumps often to remove my bridges, then a Goyf and FTK get in after I run out of gas.
Game three: We have very little time left so I gamble for the combo and fail. The good news was that I topdecked two lands to hardcast Stinky. He held back Tarmogoyfs long enough to time out.
1-0-1, 3-2-1
Round three: Nick Wowelko: Enlightened Landstill
Game one: A Force stops me from going off turn one. A tutored Crypt slows me down enough for a tutored Moat to elicit the scoop around turn six.
Game two: A mirror of game one in the beginning. I Grudge his Crypt to force him to commit at the opportune time, but my Dredge+DA yeilds three Chain of Vapor and little else. A heinous beating.
1-1-1, 3-4-1
Round four: Allan Sorensen: Landstill
Game one: A Therapy reveals a useless Standstill, 2X FOF and a Plow that sets me back a turn. I combo off turn four.
Game two: A long, ground out game where I scoop at 2 life with him at 5 after he finally lands a Jailer.
Game three: Again I bring the combo back in for time reasons. Again I fail to combo off and end with 6 Zombies. A first turn Needle shut down EE, and a Therapy to get tokens lucksacks his topdecked Deed. He doesn't draw an answer in the next three turns.
2-1-1, 5-5-1
Round five: Greg Shady: Landstill
Game one: I get the whole semi-combo-six-tokens again. Force is good, but if you don't have an answer to tokens, I'll likely beat Landstill.
Game two. Combo off turn two. Ooops.
3-1-1, 7-5-1
Round six: Adam Barnello: Standstill-Goyf-Stag
Game one: I get paired down against Adam who is 3-2. I don't think he can get in no matter what, but we play it out first. A first turn LED gets through, but he forces my PImp. This paves the way for a second turn Breakthrough+LED activation to also get Forced. Lucksack. My gas was smellier though, as I had the DA as well, and the two Dredges were enough for me to go off on turn three after returning an Ichorid.
Game two: Adam kept a piss-poor hand featuring two Counterbalance, Hoofprints, and Standstill. He said he didn't have enough cards to bring in. I boarded out the combo, and Counterbalance stops a Therapy, but I still get the tokens, and he doesn't draw well enough to make up for the opener.
4-1-1, 9-5-1
Quarterfinal: Lam Phan: Ponza-Thresh
Game one: After a mulligan, I combo off turn three on the play.
Game two: A grueling affair. I draw three Needles for his Crypts, but he gets both of his Ancient Grudges. We peck back and forth for a while, but I finally get Crypted a second time, and scoop to the two Mongeese he drops.
Game three: I mull a no-lander with LED in hopes of a better hand against control. I mull another no-lander with LED in hopes of a better hand against control. I finally keep a no land hand with Therapy and PImp in hopes of a topdeck. After my fourth draw I scoop to his double Crypt with Goyf board.
I figured an over 80% chance of a one-land hand was good enough, but if I had to do it again I would have to go up to twelve lands main deck. I had a hell of a time with a vast majority of the Source being in attendence, and met many new people. I hope to see you all again at Geneseo!
Props:
To The Ultimate Driving Machine and Co. as always. If you guys never won another tournament, your value to the community by simply propagating, and facilitating the tournament players makes you invaluable.
Dr. Dan: The only three Degree, two Black Belt, model dating player in Magic.
Teeniebopper: For giggling like a schoogirl whilst dropping first-turn Arc-Sloggers.
zulander: The Jackhammer. Nuff said.
Lam Phan: Super nice guy for winning the whole deal. And for his Canadian-Ninja Topdecks.
Slops:
Lam Phan: For his Canadian-Ninja deck cutting.
The Carousel Mall: Die. Seriously. You are in permanent Fail Mode.
Dave Price: No Hug?
Happy Gilmore: Ass-pillow. Nuff said.
With our recent successes, I have been assaulted with questions like. "How can I join?", "What are your requirements?", and "Is Calosso contagious?". To clear this all up, I am going to list the membership requirements, benefits, and team members of the auspicious Team Calosso for you below:
Membership Requirements:
1. You must be a resident of the United States, but not American-born.
2. You must have a certified I.Q. of less than 91.
3. You must Top 8 at least one tournament using a deck containing no Dual Lands, nor Tarmogoyfs.
That's it, but you would be surprised how few Legacy players can boast filling all three of these. Your rewards for joining are a free six-month membership to "The Guardian"; newsletter about Calosso Fuentes and his adventures, a "I Smacked Calosso" hoodie featuring a picture of the man himself with a huge lipstick mark on his cheek(contrary to viscious rumour, it is not a penis drawing), and a coupon for $1.00 off any style of El Paso Refried Beans.
Current membership and ordered qualifications are as follows:
Parcher: Wales / 86 / Calosso Deck Wins, 5-Color Aggro-Combo
GRAH: Belarus / 14 / Burn
Elventitz: Ireland / 69 / Rabid Wombat
Calosso: Uhhh....whatever country that kid Fez is from / 58 / Joblins
Now on to the less important stuff. As usual the Hatfields picked me up three hours late, but did include Happy Gilmore and zulander for entertainment on our trip. I got my ass grabbed no less than a half-dozen times by Happy....which did not make me happy. We made a few stops along the way, and arrived at our hotel sometime around 10:30. After greets to the rest of the NoVA crew we five got down to finishing our deckbuilding. Knowing the Syracuse area, and some of the other players I predicted a great deal of Landstill and Survival. Happy and the Hatfields opted to go with Breakfast instead of Threshold, agreeing with my assessment, while I decided to lamentbly pass on my usual Tacosnape deck, and run 5-Color Aggro-Combo; Or Ichorid for short.
4 City of Brass
4 Gemstone Mine
3 Undiscovered Paradise
4 Bridge from Below
4 Cabal Therapy
4 Breakthrough
3 Dread Return
3 Deep Analysis
1 Careful Study
4 Lion's Eye Diamond
4 Ichorid
4 Narcomoeba
4 Golgari Grave-Troll
4 Stinkweed Imp
4 Putrid Imp
3 Golgari Thug
2 Cephalid Sage
1 Flame-Kin Zealot
4 Chain of Vapor
4 Pithing Needle
3 Cabal Pit
2 Ancient Grudge
2 Ray of Revelation
The deck is fairly standard excepting the lands. Testing showed how powerful Putrid Imp was against control, but I was often having issues with having to ship hands with Coliseum as my only land for this very reason. I also was never able to use it game one unless I had two lands in my opening hand. I was very pleased with the Undiscovereds. The Pits were there for Jailer mostly, but also for Teeg in non Blue decks that I could leave the combo in (see: Survival). I saw only one Jailer the whole day though, and no Teeg. What I did use it for often was after hardcasting a Thug or Narco against control. The Narco would only get me tokens, as control has difficulty removing Bridges. Killing the Thug with Pit was pure gas though. It gave you a Dredger while returning a free Narco, and gave tokens, AND could be removed to Ichorid while I was slow-rolling against the Landstill decks I faced all day. I can't say it's definite for my sideboard, but it was at least worth it's slot this day.
The tournament was held in a Nazi encampment disguised as a shopping mall. Not only was smoking banned in the mall, it was banned anywhere on their property. To exasperate this, most of the day they had SS troopers patrolling the grounds for this very vice. Bastards. The bathrooms were poorly located and filthy, and I was harassed by a 14 year old boy in an Abercrombie & Fitch hoodie who kept hanging out right in front of them. On the other hand, the game store was very cool. It didn't have it's own bathrooms FTL, but was packed with neat toys, comic, posters, and infinite games. There was enough room there, but barely. They were running a Yugioh tournament concurrently, and if we had an even better turnout the place would have overflowed. Forgive my notes, as most games with Ichorid are blowouts one way or the other, or a grind-fest.
Round One: Chris Larusso: Suicide Black:
Game one: I combo out turn two after seeing Hymn and Shade.
Game two: He lands a second turn Wretch on the play that I Needle. Unfortunately he also boards in Crypt. I actually Needle his second Crypt after he activates one because all of his hate cards gave me plenty of time to win. A Shade with infi-mana eventually ran me out of threats and finished it though.
Game three: A first turn PImp gets in for one before I Dredge two Bridges and a Therapy. I leave him with two Smothers and an Edict, and keep saccing Moebas to make tokens before he can draw hate. 8 2/2s > 3 removal spells.
1-0, 2-1
Round two: Dave Price: Survival
Game one: A first turn Therapy nabs Survival. I attempt to combo off turn two, but fizzle with 6 Zombie tokens in play, after Therapying a Wish and Tarmogoyf. Fortunately, even a topdecked Burning Wish cannot find Dave an answer to the horde, and he dies in three turns.
Game two: I mulligan into a subpar hand, while Dave lacks Survival but has everything else. He chumps often to remove my bridges, then a Goyf and FTK get in after I run out of gas.
Game three: We have very little time left so I gamble for the combo and fail. The good news was that I topdecked two lands to hardcast Stinky. He held back Tarmogoyfs long enough to time out.
1-0-1, 3-2-1
Round three: Nick Wowelko: Enlightened Landstill
Game one: A Force stops me from going off turn one. A tutored Crypt slows me down enough for a tutored Moat to elicit the scoop around turn six.
Game two: A mirror of game one in the beginning. I Grudge his Crypt to force him to commit at the opportune time, but my Dredge+DA yeilds three Chain of Vapor and little else. A heinous beating.
1-1-1, 3-4-1
Round four: Allan Sorensen: Landstill
Game one: A Therapy reveals a useless Standstill, 2X FOF and a Plow that sets me back a turn. I combo off turn four.
Game two: A long, ground out game where I scoop at 2 life with him at 5 after he finally lands a Jailer.
Game three: Again I bring the combo back in for time reasons. Again I fail to combo off and end with 6 Zombies. A first turn Needle shut down EE, and a Therapy to get tokens lucksacks his topdecked Deed. He doesn't draw an answer in the next three turns.
2-1-1, 5-5-1
Round five: Greg Shady: Landstill
Game one: I get the whole semi-combo-six-tokens again. Force is good, but if you don't have an answer to tokens, I'll likely beat Landstill.
Game two. Combo off turn two. Ooops.
3-1-1, 7-5-1
Round six: Adam Barnello: Standstill-Goyf-Stag
Game one: I get paired down against Adam who is 3-2. I don't think he can get in no matter what, but we play it out first. A first turn LED gets through, but he forces my PImp. This paves the way for a second turn Breakthrough+LED activation to also get Forced. Lucksack. My gas was smellier though, as I had the DA as well, and the two Dredges were enough for me to go off on turn three after returning an Ichorid.
Game two: Adam kept a piss-poor hand featuring two Counterbalance, Hoofprints, and Standstill. He said he didn't have enough cards to bring in. I boarded out the combo, and Counterbalance stops a Therapy, but I still get the tokens, and he doesn't draw well enough to make up for the opener.
4-1-1, 9-5-1
Quarterfinal: Lam Phan: Ponza-Thresh
Game one: After a mulligan, I combo off turn three on the play.
Game two: A grueling affair. I draw three Needles for his Crypts, but he gets both of his Ancient Grudges. We peck back and forth for a while, but I finally get Crypted a second time, and scoop to the two Mongeese he drops.
Game three: I mull a no-lander with LED in hopes of a better hand against control. I mull another no-lander with LED in hopes of a better hand against control. I finally keep a no land hand with Therapy and PImp in hopes of a topdeck. After my fourth draw I scoop to his double Crypt with Goyf board.
I figured an over 80% chance of a one-land hand was good enough, but if I had to do it again I would have to go up to twelve lands main deck. I had a hell of a time with a vast majority of the Source being in attendence, and met many new people. I hope to see you all again at Geneseo!
Props:
To The Ultimate Driving Machine and Co. as always. If you guys never won another tournament, your value to the community by simply propagating, and facilitating the tournament players makes you invaluable.
Dr. Dan: The only three Degree, two Black Belt, model dating player in Magic.
Teeniebopper: For giggling like a schoogirl whilst dropping first-turn Arc-Sloggers.
zulander: The Jackhammer. Nuff said.
Lam Phan: Super nice guy for winning the whole deal. And for his Canadian-Ninja Topdecks.
Slops:
Lam Phan: For his Canadian-Ninja deck cutting.
The Carousel Mall: Die. Seriously. You are in permanent Fail Mode.
Dave Price: No Hug?
Happy Gilmore: Ass-pillow. Nuff said.