Bureaucratic Nightmares

[Dilettante]

Okay, what decks do you guys think would be the worst to judge? Opalescence / Humility has been overdone. A banding mechanic can be bad...

If I played the following deck, will I get murdered by a judge?

Edit: Did some testing, reformulated a bit...

Spells
2x Underworld Dreams
4x Leyline of the Void
3x Thoughtseize
2x Duress
4x Hymm to Tourach
4x Smallpox
4x Chains of Mephistopheles

Artifacts
4x The Rack
4x Ensnaring Bridge
4x Chrome Mox
4x Anvil of Bogardin
2x Teferi’s Puzzle Box

Land
19x Swamp

Sideboard
4x Infest
3x Engineered Explosives
4x Defense Grid
4x Tormod's Crypt

Ah, the joys of stacking Chains of Mephistopheles...

[mujadaddy]

Cool deck. Tell the judge to get over it.

[Dilettante]

Haven't done it yet, but it is more of a casual deck, of course (thus not posted on the deck threads). TES has become relatively easy for me to digest, but this versus say... Ichorid... Someone is bound to get an anyuerism or a stroke...

[Michael Keller]

You should probably include Ice Cauldron somewhere in there.

[on1y0ne]

If I played the following deck, will I get murdered by a judge?

I would give you high fives for putting the deck together. I would be OK with it, but it would get annoying to recite the errata on all those cards to every one of your opponents each round...

[Bovinious]

Theres moar than 1 Mr. Nightmare now? And theyre bureaucrats? Oh nice I guess...

But yeah just play a deck with 3Sphere, Humility, Chains, Illusionary Mask...Oh and try to cast spells off Lion's Eye Diamond in protest of WOTC and their power-level-errata!

[Belgareth]

I find the thing that upsets judges the most is Licids in combination with other things.

[DragoFireheart]

I thought Brain Freeze decks with the opposing play using Gaea's Blessing was what pissed judges off?

[MattH]

Sharazhad decks pissed judges AND T.O.s off enough to get the card banned, so your deck, while cute, kind of pales in comparison to that.

[Dilettante]

Sharazhad decks pissed judges AND T.O.s off enough to get the card banned, so your deck, while cute, kind of pales in comparison to that.

Shaharazad was less about pissing off... and more about creating draws due to delay of game. The card created forced draws to let time run out rather than allowing players to finish a match.

[hi-val]

The deck needs a way to get two or more Raging Rivers in play at once. The card was at one time Errata'd to be an Enchant World because players/judges had no idea what to do with two RRs in play.

[Nihil Credo]

The deck needs a way to get two or more Raging Rivers in play at once.
The correct way to handle that is to treat each Raging River's effect independently, right? You can't share "east"-"west" labels, since there are separate triggers for assigning them to the defending player's creatures and you have the chance to choose each independently.

If so, then you need to split attacking and blocking creatures in 2^X groups, where X is the number of Raging Rivers in play. Then each attacking creature can only be blocked by non-flying creatures in the same group.

Of course, if the opponent has less than 2^X non-flying creatures in play, the result is essentially "Creatures without flying your opponent controls can't block."

[Tacosnape]

Whoa. I didn't realize Raging River wasn't Enchant World.

I am going to get four of these and stick these bitches in Vial Goblins.

East Side Lackeys for the win.

[Pinder]

Of course, if the opponent has less than 2^X non-flying creatures in play, the result is essentially "Creatures without flying your opponent controls can't block."

Actually, I think that just having two of these bad boys in play makes all of your creatures unblockable except by fliers. The current Oracle Text:



At the beginning of your combat phase, each opponent chooses "east" or "west" for each creature without flying he or she controls.
As you declare attacking creatures, choose "east" or "west" for each attacking creature.
"East" creatures can't block "west" creatures. "West" creatures can't block "east" creatures.


So, if you have 2, and you pick "East" for one and "West" for the other for each of your attacking creatures, it doesn't matter which ones your opponent has chosen, because the ability says that "East" can't block "West", even if the blocking creature is also "West". And the same goes for if they pick "West", because all of your attackers are also "East".

So if your opponent chooses one, or the other, or even both, your creatures will always have some quality that makes them unblockable (except by fliers).

[TeenieBopper]

Whoa. I didn't realize Raging River wasn't Enchant World.

I am going to get four of these and stick these bitches in Vial Goblins.

East Side Lackeys for the win.

Holy fuck, you might've just broke Vial Goblins in half again.

[xsockmonkeyx]

1)Turn 1 Lackey
2)Turn 2 River
3)Mongoose goes west, Lackey goes east
4)?????
5)Profit!

[Dilettante]

Whoa. I didn't realize Raging River wasn't Enchant World.

I am going to get four of these and stick these bitches in Vial Goblins.

East Side Lackeys for the win.

It would be a funny, funny card for a mirror match. Is it actually *feasable?*

And don't get thrown out for intimidating your opponent by hunching over and snapping :)

[Nihil Credo]

So, if you have 2, and you pick "East" for one and "West" for the other for each of your attacking creatures, it doesn't matter which ones your opponent has chosen, because the ability says that "East" can't block "West", even if the blocking creature is also "West". And the same goes for if they pick "West", because all of your attackers are also "East".
As I wrote, this would require that E/W labels are shared between multiple Raging Rivers. I think that if Rivers A, B, C are in play, then each creature gets separate labels "East-A", "West-B", etc.

Sort of how Saproling tokens made from multiple Saproling Bursts remember which one to base their P/T on. Labels are continuous effects, I think.

EDIT: Starcitygames says I'm wrong. Oh well.

[TrialByFire]

lol @ Raging River. Someone try these in place of Piledrivers if they suck so much :laugh:

[Sims]

lol @ Raging River. Someone try these in place of Piledrivers if they suck so much :laugh:


On it!

[FoolofaTook]

I love the original deck.

Why not 4 Thoughtseize and 1 Duress? Or maybe even a Cabal Therapy? The thing I'd worry about with that deck would be a ritualed Phyrexian Negator or even Hyppie Spec with no Smallpox in hand.

God I loved the Chains decks that tried to lock down the opponent early. "Ancestral Recall does what now?!!!"

[PhanTom_lt]

Even better with (an opponent's) Brainstorm.
Too bad it can't target the opponent.

[freakish777]

Too bad Goblin Wardrums isn't a tribal enchantment that was tutorable via Matron. Might be worth it as 1-of.

Raging River on the other hand... uhm... why not just play with Bedlam?

[Dilettante]

Too bad Goblin Wardrums isn't a tribal enchantment that was tutorable via Matron. Might be worth it as 1-of.

Raging River on the other hand... uhm... why not just play with Bedlam?

Raging River allows Turn 1 Lackey to slip past Turn 1 Nimble Mongoose/Putrid Imp/Random J. Blocker.