Top 5 favourite flavour texts

[Nihil Credo]

Two rules:

- Real-world quotes do not count.
- Cycles count as a single entry.



5) Ertai, the Corrupted - Altered by Phyrexian science, corrupted by black mana, and twisted by rage, Ertai still looked in the mirror and saw only glory.

4) Glory - “Glory was gone; Glory was everywhere."
- Scroll of Beginnings

3) Night of Souls' Betrayal - “How can we wage war against ourselves? What happens when the kami of our very souls rise against us? I answer simply: We cannot. We die. There can be no victory in this war."
- Sensei Hisoka, letter to Lord Konda

2) Sanguine Guard - “Father of Machines! Your filigree gaze carves us, and the scars dance upon our grateful flesh.”
—Phyrexian Scriptures

1) Black Knight - "Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight."

[Bovinious]

In no particular order:

Dark Confidant - "Greatness, at any cost"

Vengeance (Portal 2) - "A bullet renders all sizes equal."

Kamahl, Pit Fighter - "I didnt come to play, I came to win."

Rancor - "Hatred outlives the hateful."

Black Knight - "Battle doesn't need a purpose; the battle is its own purpose. You don't ask why a plague spreads or a field burns. Don't ask why I fight."

Honorable Mentions:

Gainsay - "I'd be happy to stop contradicting you, Urza, just as soon as you start being right. - Bo Levar, planeswalker"

Stifle - "If I wanted your opinion, I'd have told you what it was. —Pemmin, Riptide survivor"

Lightning Rift - "Options will cost you, but a lack of them will cost you even more."

Wonder - "The awestruck birds gazed at Wonder. Slowly, timidly, they rose into the air. -Scroll of Beginnings"

And lastly, all the Judgment Wishes.

I guess I kinda went over the top 5 thing...meh...Im glad someone else likes Black Knight's flavor text tho, too bad that card isnt so good :(

[Michael Keller]

5) Eater of the Dead - Even the putrid muscles of the dead can provide strength to those loathsome enough to consume them."

4) Uncle Istvan - “Solitude drove the old hermit insane. Now he only keeps company with those he can catch. "

3) Bog Wraith - “'Twas in the bogs of Cannelbrae My mate did meet an early grave 'Twas nothing left for us to save In the peat-filled bogs of Cannelbrae. "
- Sensei Hisoka, letter to Lord Konda

2) Headless Horseman - “"...[T]he ghost rides forth to the scene of battle in nightly quest of his head... he sometimes passes along the Hollow, like a midnight blast..." --Washington Irving, The Legend of Sleepy Hollow .”

1) Field of Dreams - "Some people say that the world is round, and if you travel far enough you'll come to the other side, where everything is upside down."

[Soto]

My favorite (probably because it was my first rare...)

1) Spiritual Asylum : - Trapped in safety is still trapped.

[Shawn]

Here are my favorites:
Last Word "Some day, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

Counterspell (Tempest) "It was probably a lousy spell in the first place."

And here are some others:

Back to Basics "A rule wears a crown while the rest of us wear hats, but which would you rather have when it's raining?" - Barrin, Principia

Hero's Demise "What will it say on our graves, Lord Konda? Will it say that we led our world to conquer immortal forces or that we were crushed by our own arrogance? At each defeat, I wonder. - Sensei Hisoka, letter to Konda

Armageddon (Portal 2) "War destroys more than land. War destroys hope."

Pyroclasm (Ice Age) "Leaves more room for the bigger ones to fight, you know." -Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

[Bovinious]

Here are my favorites:
Last Word "Some day, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you.


ooo that is a good one :wink:

EDIT:



Deep Analysis - "The specimen seems to be broken."

this one too.

[TrialByFire]

In no particular order:

Flametongue Kavu - "For dim-witted, thick-skulled genetic mutants, they have pretty good aim." - Sisay

Pyrokinesis - "Anybody want some...toast?" -Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

Dark Confidant - "Greatness, at any cost."

Stifle - "If I wanted your opinion, I would have told you what it was." - Pemmin, Riptide Survivor

Squee, Goblin Nabob (10th) - "Some goblins are expendable. Some are impossible to get rid of. But he's both—at the same time!" —Starke

[n00bas4urus_r3x]

Squee, Goblin Nabob (MM) - "General?!" Tahngarth roared. "General nuisance, maybe."

Keeper of Kookus - Wanted: Thick-skinned goblin for guarding mean ol' Kookus. Must like fires. Must heal quickly.

Isamaru, Hound of Konda - The hound sniffed the air and let slip a low growl. General Takeno looked down at the faithful Isamaru and calmed him with a touch. "Alert the men. The kami are coming."

Deep Analysis - "The specimen seems to be broken."

Look at Me, I'm the DCI - Few understand the DCI's rigorous decision-making process.

[Zork]

The best has not been mentioned:

Reparations - Sorry I burned down your village. Here's some gold."

[xsockmonkeyx]

"Ach, Hans, run! It's the Lhurgoyf!"

[Tacosnape]

Wave of Indifference gets my #1.

"Darius?"
"Yeah?"
"There's a goblin sneaking up on you."
"So?"
"Just sayin'."

[cwt1220]

The number one of all time...ALUREN

Squee bounced up and down. "I sees a horsey, an' a piggy, an' a—"
"If you don't shut up," hissed Mirri, "you'll see a kidney and a spleeny." :laugh:

[VsTheWorld]

Wave of Indifference gets my #1.

"Darius?"
"Yeah?"
"There's a goblin sneaking up on you."
"So?"
"Just sayin'."

This man speaks the truth.

[outsideangel]

I've always been partial to Megrim (Stronghold):

"You can run from your pain," explained Gerrard to Crovax, "but take it from experience: you will tire before it does."

[Wallace]

The Quote from Black Knight is prob. my all time fav. I am also a Big Fan of...

Deadapult:
"Nothing ruins your day like a blazing zombie." —Tahngarth

Fodder Cannon:
Step 1: Find your cousin.
Step 2: Get your cousin in the cannon.
Step 3: Find another cousin.

King Cheetah:
If you find yourself and a friend being chased by a king cheetah, you have but one chance: Trip your friend. —Suq'Ata wisdom

Lava Axe:
"Catch!"

and 3 of my fav's...

Simian Spirit Guide :
"All my spells smell like burnt hair lately." —Jaya Ballard, task mage

Tarfire:
"After Auntie brushed the soot from her eyes, she discovered something wonderful: the fire had turned the goat into something that smelled delicious." —A tale of Auntie Grub

Relentless Assault:
"Flog and Squee / Up the tree / See the army / Flee, flee, flee." —Goblin nursery rhyme/war cry

[Zach Tartell]

"Isn't he on our side?"
"Yep."
"Why's he spyin' on us?"
"Don't ask."

[vigilante]

Favourite old-timey flavour text:
Phantom Monster
"While, like a ghastly rapid river,
Through the pale door
A hideous throng rush out forever,
And laugh - but smile no more." -- Edgar Allan Poe, "The Haunted Palace"

Favourite comic-value flavour text:
Medicine Bag
"My medicine bag and I have treated countless wounds and illnesses. But never have I seen so many made so sick for so long. We will never eat Squee's cooking again." -- Orim, journal

Favourite overall:
Zorq beat me to it....

Reparations - Sorry I burned down your village. Here's some gold."

[luka66_6]

Disrupt (Weatherlight): Oh, I'm sorry-did I break your concentration?

it is from Pulp Fiction too. :)

[Tacosnape]

"Isn't he on our side?"
"Yep."
"Why's he spyin' on us?"
"Don't ask."

That's actually my number two behind Wave of Indifference. Nothing's funnier than a good dialogue. It largely explains my love of Calvin and Hobbes

[atv]

Goblin cards in general have good flavour texts.

"It only short jump. You go first."
"AIIIEEEE!"
"Hmm . . . we go different way now."
- Goblin Spelunkers

The more victims he kills, the more likely he is to get the right one.
- Goblin Assassin

"Don't look at it! Maybe it'll go away!" —Ib Halfheart, goblin tactician
- Blinking Spirit

In life, it was a fetid, disease-ridden thing. In death, not much changed.
- Festering Goblin


Its diet consists of fruits, plants, small woodland animals, large woodland animals, woodlands, fruit groves, fruit farmers, and small cities.
- Enormous Baloth

[Barook]

Most of my favourite flavour texts have been already quoted here, but this one is missing:

Inferno:
"Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." - Jaya Ballard, task mage

Edit: I forgot about that one:

Spined Sliver:
Slivers are evil and slivers are sly;
And if you get eaten, then no one will cry." - Mogg children's rhyme

[Versus]

Phyrexian Negator: They exist to cease.

[etrigan]

I'll second Phyrexian Negator.

Also, the Phyrexian Scriptures from the Phyrexian Plaguelord cycle was good too.

[on1y0ne]

I am surprised that the following haven't been mentioned:

"In a duel and taking a lickin' . . ."
"The wizard exclaimed, "I'm no chicken . . . ."
"I'm facing defeat, . . ."
"But next time we meet, . . ."
"You're in for a nasty butt-kickin'." from the five Double cards (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/index.aspx?term=Double&Field_Name=on&Field_Rules=on&Field_Type=on&setfilter=Unglued)

"Don't worry about it. It happens to every mage sooner or later." from Denied! (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=5800)

"Nothing comes between me and my Didgeridoos™." from Hurloon Wrangler (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=8904)

"¡Yo quiero Kormus Bell!" from Jester's Sombrero (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=9739)

Plucking the chicken —Elvish expression meaning "flinging the monkey" from Lexivore (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=9760)

You have to love Unglued!

[Illissius]

Negator thirded.

Two more Goblin quotes:

"Grow food in dirt? Save time-eat dirt." (Goblin Gardener)

"Then, just when the other guys were winnin', the sky threw up." -Jula, goblin raider (Disorder)

[amok]

Dark Ritual (Mercadian Masques)

"Eye of twilight, give us sight.
Take our offer, give us might.
Make our power tears of night."

[Nightmare]

I just sat on magiccards.info clicking "random" for a while. Conclusion - Magic has a ton of really awesome flavor text. Note to self: Pay more attention to flavor text.

[Damoxx]

I've always loved Mogg Fanatic.

"I got it! I got it! I---)

[Eldariel]

Anything from Jaya Ballard. She knows what to say.

Few gems:
Inferno (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=4064)
"Some have said there is no subtlety to destruction. You know what? They're dead." —Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

Mystic Compass (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=3050)
"And I say north is where I want it to be!" —Jaya Ballard, Task Mage

Pyroclasm (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=2650)
"Leaves more room for the big ones to fight in, you know." —Jaya Ballard, Task Mage



Few others:
Orcish Librarian (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?id=2645)
"Us hungry, need food . . . . Lots of books . . . . Hmm . . . ."

Patriarch's Bidding (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=patriarch's%20bidding)
"Family plots are so convenient." —Cabal Patriarch

Shock (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?id=39482)
"I love lightning! It's my best invention since the rock." —Toggo, goblin weaponsmith

[Dilettante]

In addition, Eldariel... Simian Spirit Guide

“All my spells smell like burnt hair lately.”
—Jaya Ballard, task mage

[sadface]

Phyrexian Arena, one of my favourite cards of all time:

An audience of one with the malice of thousands.

That was the original flavour text from Apocalypse. For some inexplicable reason they changed it for inclusion in the 8th and 9th editions of the core set:

A drop of humanity for a sea of power.

Well, they could have done alot worse, I guess.

[DragoFireheart]

8th Edition Sizzle

"Of course you should fight fire with fire. You should
fight everything with fire."
-Jaya Ballard, task mage

[C.P.]

I like the Black Knight one, but...



How can you beat the Squire?

"Of twenty yeer of age he was, I gesse. Of his stature he was of evene lengthe. And wonderly delyvere, and of greete strengthe." —Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales

Just sayin'


Oh, wasn't there a German Demonic tutor that quoted Faust?

[dahcmai]

I still love Reparations the most

Reparations - "Sorry I burned down your village. Here's some gold."

[Barook]

Let's not forget about Goblin Piledriver:

Throw enough goblins at any problem and it should go away. At the very least, there'll be fewer goblins.

[Pinder]

I still love Reparations the most

Reparations - "Sorry I burned down your village. Here's some gold."

Seconded. I've always loved that one. Negator is thirded (fourthed? I didn't count, but it's awesome).

I decided to copy Nightmare and click 'random' a lot on magiccards.info. Here are some gems:

Enormous Baloth - Its diet consists of fruits, plants, small woodland animals, large woodland animals, woodlands, fruit groves, fruit farmers, and small cities.

Hellbent Raider - He doesn't slow until his spear is weighted with corpses.

Reckless Assault - "How will you fight an enemy that cares nothing for itself?" -The Blind Seer

Dueling Grounds - "You think you can stop me?" hissed Tsabo. "I think I can kill you," replied Gerrard.

Trumpet Blast - Keldon warriors don't need signals to tell them when to attack, but when to stop.

Path of Peace - "You could die famous or you could die old. I chose old." -Former soldier

edit-

Deadapult - "Nothing ruins your day like a blazing zombie." - Tahngarth :laugh:

[Shtriga]

I like vindicate's and hatred's. also nantuko shade (but largely because I love the card), negator, akroma. and grizzly bears! and lots more, I like to read the flavor text usually

the tempest block cards were pretty neat in the way they illustrated the storyline, both through art and flavor text. haven't paid much attention to see if newer sets follow the same trend

[shteev]

I like Goblin Striker:

There's no word in the goblin language for "strategy." Then again, there's no word in the goblin language for "word."

Goblins are pretty great all round, in fact. Here's Goblin Welder:

I wrecked your metal guy, boss. But look! I made you an ashtray!

And Goblin Medics:

First, do some harm - Oath of Goblins

The flavor text on Armadillo Cloak speaks the truth:

Don't laugh, it works - Yavimaya Ranger

But my all time favorite flavor text from everyone's favorite deckmaster(tm) game comes from Brain Wash:

I can see clearly now my brain is gone

[Eldariel]

Last time I was rushed. Now I'm just tired, so let's see what my withered brain coughs up:

Pacifism (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=129667)
"For the first time in his life, Grakk felt a little warm and fuzzy inside."

Null Rod (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=null%20rod)
Gerrard: "But it doesn't do anything!"
Hanna: "No—it does nothing."

Darkest Hour (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=darkest%20hour)
"The eclipse made it clear whose side the sky was on."

Radha, Heir to Keld (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=radha,%20heir%20to%20keld)
"Run home, cur. I've already taken your master's head. Don't make me thrash you with it."

Reveka, Wizard Savant (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=reveka,%20wizard%20savant)
"It's nice to see a sister Dwarf in a position of such power, but why'd it have to be one of those seafaring muleheads?" —Halina, Dwarven Trader

Cabal Archon (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=cabal%20archon)
"You are weak. I am strong. The protocol is obvious."

Eron the Relentless (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?id=3002)
"Eron would be much less of a hassle if only he were mortal." —Reyhan, Samite Alchemist

Grandmother Sengir (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=grandmother%20sengir)
"Rarely have power and madness been so delightfully wed as they have in our dear Grandmother." —Baron Sengir

Krosan Beast (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=krosan%20beast)
"Those who see the squirrels go underground in the winter aren't ready for what emerges in the spring."

Spelltithe Enforcer (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=spelltithe%20enforcer)
"His assistants calculate the amount of the tribute. He measures out the punishment for delinquency."

Remand (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=remand)
"Well, at least all of that arm-waving and arcane babbling you did was impressive."

Repeal (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=repeal)
"Your deed cannot be undone. You, however, can be." —Agosto, Azorius imperator

Spell Snare (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=spell%20snare)
Every culture has its unlucky numbers. In a city where you're either alone, in a crowd, or being stabbed in the back, two is the worst number of all.

Braids, Cabal Minion (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=braids,%20cabal%20minion)
"Home is where you can find a decent graveyard and strangers can disappear without awkward questions."

Skirk Prospector (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=skirk%20prospector)
"I like goblins. They make funny little popping sounds when they die." —Braids, dementia summoner

Mistform Ultimus (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?name=mistform%20ultimus)
"It may wear your face, but its mind is its own."

Abeyance (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=4563)
"I'm too modest a wizard to reveal the full extent of my abilities." —Ertai, Wizard Adept

Meditate (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=4713)
"Part of me believes that Barrin taught me meditation simply to shut me up." —Ertai, Wizard Adept

Override (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=46089)
"The Knowledge Pool has all the answers—especially ‘No.'"


That'll do for now. There're thousands of awesome flavour texts in Magic so of course I'm not gonna list 'em all, but off the top of my head, I've always found those amusing/enjoyable/good (on a case-by-case basis).

[Media314r8]

Gorilla Titan: "I want a banana THIS big!"

[Getsickanddie]

Army of Allah - On the day of victory no one is tired. —Arab proverb

[Ebinsugewa]

Goblin Offensive - "They certainly are."

[thulnanth]

Awesome quotes guys!!! One of my favorites that hasn't been mentioned yet is Phyrexian Reaper...

It desires only to help others shed the itchy wet skin of life.


Love that one :wink:

Take it easy,
Jared

[Internet Hate Machine]

I rather like Firebolt's "Reach out and torch someone."

[Krikkit]

my top 5

Force of will
"(None, does something relevant)"

Tarmogoyf
"(none, does something relevant)"

Fetch Land cycle
"(none, does something relevant)"

Dual Land cycle
"(none, does something relevant)"

Aether Vial
"At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a charge counter on Æther Vial.
{T}: You may put a creature card with converted mana cost equal to the number of charge counters on Æther Vial from your hand into play...."

oh right, that's not the flavor text, that's just what Aether Vial does

[Nihil Credo]

my top 5

Force of will
"(None, does something relevant)"

Tarmogoyf
"(none, does something relevant)"

Fetch Land cycle
"(none, does something relevant)"

Dual Land cycle
"(none, does something relevant)"

Aether Vial
"At the beginning of your upkeep, you may put a charge counter on Æther Vial.
{T}: You may put a creature card with converted mana cost equal to the number of charge counters on Æther Vial from your hand into play...."

oh right, that's not the flavor text, that's just what Aether Vial does
http://xs124.xs.to/xs124/08085/1202077843428883.jpg

[URABAHN]

Bottomless Pit
"I'm sure it came with the place. I don't think you build one on purpose." —Gerrard

Voltaic Key
The key did not work on a single lock, yet it opened many doors.

Can't think of 3 others ATM that really stand out.

[luka66_6]

Gerrard: "But it doesn't do anything!" Hanna: "No-it does nothing."
from Null Rod :cool:

[Wargoos]

"The duel was going badly for me, and Zur thought I was finished. He boasted that he would eat my soul-but all he ate were his words." -Gusth

counterspell - ice age i guess^^

[technogeek5000]

From Ow

Have you ever noticed how some flavor text has no relevance whatsoever to the card it's on?

[Thehunter820]

A few good ones that I havent seen posted yet..

Hill Giant
Fortunately, hill giants have large blind spots in which a human can easily hide. Unfortunately, these blind spots are beneath the bottoms of their feet.

Furnace Whelp
Baby dragons can't figure out humans -- if they didnt want to be killed, why were they made of meat and treasure?

Nantuko Husk
The soul sheds light, and death is its shadow. When the light dims, life and death embrace.

Fugitive Wizard
The law has its place -- as a foot note in my spellbook.

Sea Monster
Its easy to believe the monster is a myth-- until you find three hundred thousand pounds of myth crashing down on your ship.

Seal of Fire
If it breathes, it will burn.

Ballista Squad
The perfect antidote for a tightly packed formation.

Bloodrock Cyclops
There are only figty words in the cyclops language, and ten of them mean 'kill.'

[Sims]

http://xs124.xs.to/xs124/08085/1202077843428883.jpg

/train off tracks...

Is that guy a friggen FN Salesperson? P90 on the sling and what appears to be a FiveseveN in the grip? Dayum. Maybe he's just part of the Belgian military?

Oh, right, flavor text. Lets play "Name That Card!"

"It doesn't think. It doesn't feel.
It doesn't laugh or cry.
All it does from dusk 'til dawn,
Is make the soldiers die."
~Onean Children's Rhyme

[Pinder]

Oh, right, flavor text. Lets play "Name That Card!"

"It doesn't think. It doesn't feel.
It doesn't laugh or cry.
All it does from dusk 'til dawn,
Is make the soldiers die."
~Onean Children's Rhyme

Hrm. Without looking, I think it's some sort of Phyrexian. I'm just trying to remember what set Onean Children were from.

A stab in the dark: Phyrexian Colossus?

edit - Ha, Colossus doesn't even have flavor text. I'm stumped.

[TrialByFire]

7th Edition Uncommon, but I can't think of what it is. Phyrexian something.

EDIT: Phyrexian Hulk, also from Tempest

[asi]

Oh, wasn't there a German Demonic tutor that quoted Faust?

Yes, the german BB DT said "Das also war des Pudels Kern! Ein fahrender Skolast? Der Kasus macht mich lachen. -J.W.Goethe, Faust"

A lot of german cards have flavor text from german poets. Check http://magiccards.info/query/1401341.html for some of Goethe; I especially like Contract from Below:

„Die Hölle selbst hat ihre Rechte? Das find' ich gut, da ließe sich ein Pakt, und sicher wohl, mit euch, ihr Herren, schließen?“ –J.W. Goethe, Faust

Translated roughly to: "Hell itself has rights? I'm glad to hear that, a pact, and safe for sure, could then be made with you"



Also nice: german Solidarity has ""Vorwärts und nicht Vergessen/ Worin unsere Stärke besteht!/ Beim Hungern und beim Essen/ Vorwärts und nicht vergessen/ Die Solidarität!" -Bertold Brecht"

[Pinder]

EDIT: Phyrexian Hulk, also from Tempest

Bah! I was so close.

The random button on magiccards.info gives us this little number:

"Mages often seek to emulate the powerful relics lost to time and apocalypse."

Go!

[SpatulaOfTheAges]

"'Davvol, blast those elves.' 'Davvol, transport those troops.' No one cares that today is my birthday."

-Carnival of Souls

"Their weak laws. Their flawed systems. They inhibit the Grand Evolution. In Yawgmoth's name, we shall erase them." -Oath of the West

"Their fragile world. Their futile lives. They obstruct the Grand Evolution. In Yawgmoth's name, we shall excise them." -Oath of the East

-Western/Eastern Paladin, bad-ass Urza's Saga edition, not lame-ass 7th.




You know what would be awesome? If people could post like, ever flavor text they could possibly think of, and totally lame up a good idea because they need attention/want to hog all the good quotes. RTFOP. 5. Not 6. Not 7. 20 is right fucking out.

[Sanguine Voyeur]

Bah! I was so close.

The random button on magiccards.info gives us this little number:

"Mages often seek to emulate the powerful relics lost to time and apocalypse."

Go!Grapeshot?

Is Phyrexian Hulk that guy made better by auras or a 5/4?

[frolll]

Is Phyrexian Hulk that guy made better by auras or a 5/4?

He's the 6 colorless 5/4 guy, with the cool poem.

I don't really know a top 5, but Fodder Cannon is still pretty my favorite.
1. Find a cousin.
2. Put your cousin in the cannon.
3. Find another cousin.

Goblins win, imho.

[Metaknight]

1) "He exercises his right to bear arms"-Were bear
2) "But i Signed Nothing!"-Infernal Contract
3) "I can't hear them scream, but at least i don't have to listen to them beg."-Smother
4) "They exist to cease"-Phyrexian Negator
5)"Give up these unnatural weapons, these scrolls. Heart and mind and fist are enough."-Krosan Grip

[hi-val]

My favorite is from Icatian Scout, with the woman peering out from the grasses.

"Let it be known that Ailis Connaut acted with honor and bravery in the defense of the town of Montford, risking her life to scout the enemy's position . . . ." —Proclamation granting knighthood

It's an incredible example of a mini-story, an entire character created by the effect, art and flavor text of the card. I want to know more about Ailis Connaut. It's a great summation of what the Icatians were about, too.

[Smmenen]

My favorite is from Icatian Scout, with the woman peeing out from the grasses.

"Let it be known that Ailis Connaut acted with honor and bravery in the defense of the town of Montford, risking her life to scout the enemy's position . . . ." —Proclamation granting knighthood

It's an incredible example of a mini-story, an entire character created by the effect, art and flavor text of the card. I want to know more about Ailis Connaut. It's a great summation of what the Icatians were about, too.

For some reason I read the quote as quoted above. Your post made more sense to me that way Doug :)

[RC Snakle]

My favorite is from Icatian Scout, with the woman peering out from the grasses.

"Let it be known that Ailis Connaut acted with honor and bravery in the defense of the town of Montford, risking her life to scout the enemy's position . . . ." —Proclamation granting knighthood

It's an incredible example of a mini-story, an entire character created by the effect, art and flavor text of the card. I want to know more about Ailis Connaut. It's a great summation of what the Icatians were about, too.

I've always loved the combination of flavor text and art on the Rob Alexander Dwarven Soldier. The use of only two very muted colors and the somber text probably gave more history to the Dwarves of Icatia than, hell, most of the novels give their subjects.

WotC should do everything possible to bring back the guys in charge of style/flavor for The Dark through Visions. Maybe I'm just nostalgia trippin', but holy shit was it awesome back then.

[AceofAllan]

Here's a series of cards I put together from Portal 2nd Age

Tidal Surge
Ogre Taskmaster
Wild Griffin
Tremor

Four little goblins, trapped by the sea.
One teased a serpent, and then there were three.
Three little goblins, enjoying their brew.
One bumped an ogre, and then there were two.
Two little goblins, out in the sun.
Down came a griffin, and then there was one.
One little goblin shook up the ground.
When the dust cleared, no one was found.

[TheAardvark]

Even though the OP says that "real world quotes don't count", my 3 favorites are all real world quotes.

The original Hypnotic Specter:

"...There was no trace/of aught on that illumined face..."--Samuel Coleridge, "Phantom"

The Portal 1 Armageddon:

"O miserable of happy! Is this the end of this new glorious world...?'" —John Milton, Paradise Lost

The MPR foil Wasteland:

"I will show you fear in a handful of dust..."--T.S. Eliot, "The Waste Land"

I do have to agree with everyone who cites Reparations as awesome. It was always one of my favorites.

[Ebinsugewa]

Just remembered a good one. Ghastly Demise:

"Anyone can snap her fingers and yank a soul. I prefer to kill creatively." -Braids, dementia summoner

[caiomarcos]

Final Fortune;

Reparations;
Masques Dark Ritual;
Boomerang 1, from Legends:
"O! call back yesterday, bid time return." —William Shakespeare, King Richard the Second
Boomerang 2, from Mirage: "A lie always returns; be careful how you catch it."

[vanele]

I enjoy Dominate's flavor text the most followed by probably Standstill.
Dominate = "I've come to reclaim what is mine. And you, Greven, are mine." —Volrath

[Zach Tartell]

I live without food, stand without leg, wound without force, and am harder to fight than to kill. What am I? -Femeref riddle

So... what is it? (the card is Blistering wall, or something. what is the answer?

[Versus]

Disease?

[Nihil Credo]

Uhm... maybe a blistering barrier?

[Versus]

Yeah, that too! :laugh:

[hi-val]

Clearly, it's fire.

[badjuju]

Goblin War Strike:

"Fire, aim, ready!"

and not really flavor text but the OG birds used to read:

"Summon mana birds"

I found that quite hilarious.

[calosso]

Last Word "Some day, someone will best me. But it won't be today, and it won't be you.

[Artowis]

Last Word is easily my favorite, but two others I like a bit.

"If they move, kill them. In fact, kill one now to make sure the other understands." - Intimidation

"Those who forget the horrors of the past are doomed to re-meet them." - Dread Return

[HdH_Cthulhu]

Manbarbs

"I don't know why people say a double-edged sword is bad. It's a sword. With two edges." —Kamahl, pit fighter

[berto_el_con]

I actually like alot of odd flavor texts

I think my favorite is probably the flavor on the goblin token.

"Never underestimate the power of overwhelming stupidity in overwhelming numbers."

But i also think the Un- sets were pretty good too.

Probably my favorite from there is between _____
which is, "(1):This card's flavor text becomes the flavor text of your choice. (This ability doesn't work because it's flavor text, not rules text (but neither does this reminder text, so you figure it out). )

and World-Bottling Kit
"YOUR AD HERE"

[Raider Bob]

http://resources.wizards.com/Magic/Cards/TE/en-us/Card4870.jpg

The Blow Job Card if all of my top 5 favorite flavour texts. Looks like this guy is an Unbeleaver hammering out a good Blow.

[Sek'Kuar]

Wasn't there a card that quoted the Rime of the Ancient Mariner?

[KillemallCFH]

Wasn't there a card that quoted the Rime of the Ancient Mariner?http://magiccards.info/scans/en/al/34.jpg

[fredk]

Really surprised no one has hit on one of my favorites...

Bottle Gnomes
"Reinforcements...or refreshments?"

[Aggro_zombies]

My all-time favorite has to be from Letter Bomb (http://ww2.wizards.com/gatherer/CardDetails.aspx?&id=74232):

"Dear Magic R&D..."

[freakish777]

"Please tell me I'm hallucinating. I'd rather be crazy than here."
-Gorev Hadszak, Wojek investigator

Nightcreep

[boris13]

Ib halfheart, Goblin Tactician : Everybody but me - CHARGE!


Steamflogger boss also is pretty good. Whip the Xs! Pinch the Os!
What we're bulding no one knows!

[Dessyreqt]

Vex: When killing five just isn't enough.

[Illissius]

Vex: When killing five just isn't enough.

That's actually Hex. But yeah, it's a good one.

[Dessyreqt]

Okay, fine.

Vex: "The druids would be better off if they spent more time in the lab and less time watching trees grow." —Pontifex, elder researcher

Except that flavor text sucks. I should have been able to infer that Hex = kill six things from the fact that hex is a prefix for 6. Or the fact that I looked the damn card up before posting and still typed the wrong thing.

[Sek'Kuar]

Mortify:

The eyes let flow with tears, then blood, then the very soul—the whole wrung inside out, dripping down into the blackened puddle of the past.

Kind of emo, but I like the imagery. Very Orzhov-Gothic.

[Finn]

nausea (http://magiccards.info/ex/en/67.html)

Any mogg will tell you there's nothing more nauseating than the smell of cute.
Link included because the associated picture is just that good.

[Mirrislegend]

"487. You're welcome."

[Rock Lee]

I scoff at all of your cool, macabre, & witty flavour texts!

9E Sea's Claim destroys all competition

http://findmagiccards.com/GF/USC/MTGC/9E/1190306467147.jpeg
http://findmagiccards.com//GF/USC/MTGC/9E/1190306467159.jpeg

"Who's the crazy one now!?" - Torgle, mountaintop boatmaker