Obligatory shitty card creation thread

Fatal Scrolls :b: :b: :b:
Sorcery
Discard your hand. Search your library for seven cards, put them into your hand, then shuffle your library. You lose the game.

Intelligent Masochism :u: :b:
Instant
Draw a card for each 1 life you paid this turn.

Cleansing Roots :g:
Enchantment
Whenever an opponent casts a black spell, you gain life equal to that spell's converted mana cost and draw a card.

Angel's Will :3: :w:
Instant
Angel's Will costs :1: less to cast if you cast it any time you could cast a sorcery.
Search your library for a white enchantment card and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nonex

Cleansing Roots :g:
Enchantment
Whenever an opponent casts a black spell, you gain life equal to that spell's converted mana cost and draw a card.

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So...really, you mean :g: : target player with swamps loses the game. Jesus that's broken...and you do realize that this would have to be printed in standard, right? I don't think Wizards is keen to hose a color for two years.

Angels will is broke as hell. 3 Mana moat anyone? Enchantress would love that junk.

Also, I think scrolls is kinda cool but since youd have to have fortune thief/plat angel/angelic blessing/bad cards its kinda meh.

UWBB
Instant
Search your library for a permanent and put it into play. Shuffle your library.

Not sure how to not make this stupidly broken without making it unplayable. Even paying life equal to the permanent you choose to put into play still makes it really good. I just want wizards to print a card so I can search for Nicol Bolas Planeswalker and put it into play but I can wait however long it takes for them to print it.

Green hates non-basics and artifacts:

Root Maze Treefolk :2::g::g:
Creature - Treefolk
Artifacts and lands enter the battlefield tapped.
Artifacts and nonbasic lands don't untap during their controllers' untap steps.
3/5

It's basically a cross between Root Maze and Back to Basics with a strong lock synergy. Might be still too strong at 4 mana, but considering the mana cost, people do have a chance to fetch basics.

@Barook: Since when does green hate nonbasics? We're long past the days of Primal Order. Neat design idea though.

@Nonex: Cleansing Roots is too strong to cost just one green. Make it say "Black noncreature spell" or up the CMC. Angel's Will should cost closer to 3WW. Intelligent Masochism is way way way overpowered.

Other random stuff. I've always loved the concept of making Affinity hit all kinds of weird stuff.

Groundshock Golem
:5:
Artifact Creature - Golem
Affinity for lands you don't control.
3/4

Overlooked Defenders
:5::w:
Creature - Human Soldiers
Flash
Affinity for creatures attacking you.
Affinity for creatures attacking you.
4/5

Sphere of Patience
:10:
Artifact
Affinity for cards in your hand.
Spells you cast have Affinity for cards in your hand.

Keeper of the Afterlife
:8::w::b:
Creature - Skeleton Angel
Flying
Affinity for cards in opponent's graveyards.
Cards in opponent's graveyards lose all abilities.
5/5

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tacosnape

(There'd be a whole series of these)

Warren Hideout
Tribal Land - Goblin
T: Add :1: to your mana pool.
:1:, T: Add :r::r: to your mana pool.

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I like the mechanic, but I don't really want Goblins to be able to draw free lands off their Ringleaders, thank you much. That card is OP enough already.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by DukeDemonKn1ght

I like the mechanic, but I don't really want Goblins to be able to draw free lands off their Ringleaders, thank you much. That card is OP enough already.

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It's no worse than giving us four more Lackeys. We've got to do something to stay in contention with the rest of the format.:)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rizso

Would like to see black geting cheap and good removal spell.

Strangulate B
Instant
Kicker - 3
Destroy Target creature with converted mana cost 2 or less.
If Strangulate was kicked, instead destroy target creature.
It can't be regenerated.

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I think I'd still play Smother over this.

Black really does need a cheap removal spell, though.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by keys

Black really does need a cheap removal spell, though.

How about

Strangulate
XB
Instant
Delve
Destroy target creature with converted mana cost X or less.

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Does X work with Delve?

If so, God, this would be fucking fantastic against Zoo. Kill whatever they have on the board, shrink Goyfs for the future. And if you've got a fetchland, it kills Nacatl/Lackey/Whatever on turn one. And it's further raping of Dreadstill. I like.

How about this one guys?


NotGoingFarmogoyf :1::g:
Creature - Lhurgoyf
Rare
*/*
NotGoingFarmogoyf's power and toughness are each equal to the number of card types among cards in all graveyards. (The card types are artifact, creature, enchantment, instant, land, planeswalker, sorcery, and tribal.)
Shroud.




Guys?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Tacosnape

@Nonex: Cleansing Roots is too strong to cost just one green. Make it say "Black noncreature spell" or up the CMC. Angel's Will should cost closer to 3WW. Intelligent Masochism is way way way overpowered.

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Cleansing Roots was meant to be a green answer to ANT, probably too strong at that (again). Noncreature spells only and probably 1B. I don't think Angel's Will could be more than a Cunning Wish target in a some sort of Landstill build, anyway I'd make it 4W rather than 3WW. I don't see how Intelligent Masochism is that broken in Legacy, most life is paid only through fetchlands.

I like your affinity cards just as much as all weird concepts. Perhaps Keeper of the Afterlife is the most appealing to me. I miss something with affinity for spells and/or abilities on the stack, though.

And yes, X works with Delve, just choose a value for X and exile accordingly. In fact Delve works to any extent you want even if the spell doesn't have X. Most people limit themselves to that 6 in Tombstalker's cost, but Delve states that you can exile any number of cards, effectively turning any card with Delve into a potential Tormod's Crypt if needed.

Now let's vomit some more random stuff:

Living Scope :2:
Artifact Creature - Eye Construct
Players play with the top three cards of their libraries revealed.
Modular 2
0/0

Norin the Silly :w:
Legendary Creature - Human Warrior
First Strike
Whenever Norin the Silly deals combat damage to a player, you may have that player win the game.
2/1

Shadowmage Vampire :1: :b: :b:
Creature - Vampire Wizard
Other Vampire creatures you control get +1/+1 and have fear.
Whenever one or more Vampire creatures you control deal combat damage to a player, you may put the bottom card of your library into your hand.
2/2

Impassable Wall :2: :g:
Creature - Plant Wall
Defender, reach
Impassable Wall can block any number of additional creatures as long as they have trample.
Impassable Wall's toughness is equal to 4 plus the total power of all creatures with trample blocked by Impassable Wall.
0/4+*

Quote:

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Originally Posted by freakish777

How about this one guys?


NotGoingFarmogoyf
Creature - Lhurgoyf
Rare
*/*
NotGoingFarmogoyf's power and toughness are each equal to the number of card types among cards in all graveyards. (The card types are artifact, creature, enchantment, instant, land, planeswalker, sorcery, and tribal.)
Shroud.

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Remove Shroud and ban Tarmogoyf. Then it will start being fine.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by freakish777

NotGoingFarmogoyf :1::g:
Creature - Lhurgoyf
Mythic Rare
*/*
NotGoingFarmogoyf's power and toughness are each equal to the number of card types among cards in all graveyards. (The card types are artifact, creature, enchantment, instant, land, planeswalker, sorcery, and tribal.)
Shroud.

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Fixed. Seems reasonable now.



EDIT: For the record, I'm not one of these "ban Tarmogoyf already!!!1!" people.

My dream magic game:

Player 1: Plains, Norin the Silly, go.
Player 2: Island, go.
Player 1: Plains, Swing for 2, make you win the game.
Player 2: Stifle.

Seriously, though. Norin the Silly is awesome. If an opponent Mindslavers you? It's ability is hugely relevant. And there's the chance of it being relevant if something were printed like:

Manipulate Causality
:1::u:
Instant
Gain control of target activated or triggered ability. You may choose new targets for the ability.
Behold, as the Lord of Rage surges forth to wreak havoc unto...wait, what exactly just happened?

If you take out the 'may' from Norin the Silly, it's a combo with Reins of Power + any siren-type effect.

Also, thread title edited for truthiness.

Random ideas,

Sengir's Kiss 1B

Enchantment - Vampire

Flash

Before an opposing creature would be put into the controller's graveyard from play, gain control of that creature instead.

Roaring Flames (X)R

Delve

Roaring Flames deals damage to target creature or player equal to (X)

Note: Needs some kind of wording to restrict (X) to the Delve mechanic

Telepaths U

Creature - Wizard

Discard a card: look at target opponent's hand.

1/1

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nonex

Norin the Silly :w:
Legendary Creature - Human Warrior
First Strike
Whenever Norin the Silly deals combat damage to a player, you may have that player win the game.
2/1

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In combo with Reflect Damage (or Jade Monolith + Lure).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by BreathWeapon

Random ideas,

Sengir's Kiss 1B

Enchantment - Vampire

Flash

Before an opposing creature would be put into the controller's graveyard from play, gain control of that creature instead.

Roaring Flames (X)R

Delve

Roaring Flames deals damage to target creature or player equal to (X)

Note: Needs some kind of wording to restrict (X) to the Delve mechanic

Telepaths U

Creature - Wizard

Discard a card: look at target opponent's hand.

1/1

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That roaring flames would be insane really. For the cost of 1 mana it will do insane amount of damage in dredge decks but also in decks without the dreadge/selfmill. :P

Willing Sorcerer :u: :g:
Creature - Human Wizard
As long as Willing Sorcerer is in your hand, all other cards in your hand are blue in addition to their actual color(s).
If Willing Sorcerer is Exiled, you may either choose to pay :3: :u: :u: or Exile a blue card from your hand and lose one life to return Willing Sorceror to your hand.
:1: :g: : Exile Willing Sorcerer to return any Exiled creature to play.
2/1


After reading that like 14 times, I've come to the conclusion that it's actually quite bad. I tried to make it awesome, then attempted to balance it, but now it just sucks. I think...

4*FoW + 4*Misdirection + 4*Progenitus + 4*Show and Tell + 4*Willing Sorcerer looks like a fine basis for a deck.

Oh jesus, I forgot about Progenitus (and every other fatty besides Goyf)! As it is, I figured you could cast FoW by removing a Goyf from game, cast WS, replace him with the removed Goyf, then either repeat the process or simply buy back WS and do it again.

It just all seems very conditional (and confusing), hence the "balanced" part, but on second thought, not so much.

Not for Eternal purposes, just because.

Circle of Protection
:2::w::w:
Enchantment
:1:: The next time a source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.

Fairbond
:3::g::g:
Enchantment
You may play any number of land cards each turn.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Illissius

Not for Eternal purposes, just because.

Circle of Protection
:2::w::w:
Enchantment
:1:: The next time a source of your choice would deal damage to you this turn, prevent that damage.

Fairbond
:3::g::g:
Enchantment
You may play any number of land cards each turn.

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http://magiccards.info/scans/en/pr/19.jpg

Fairbond seems really strong.

http://magiccards.info/scans/en/pr/44.jpg

http://magiccards.info/scans/en/od/78.jpg

What happened to the title? TTTRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTHHH!!!!!!!!!! ~NC

I dont think a mod should change topics based on personal opinions...

Rhystic FAIL
Instant
:0:
You win the game. Any player may pay :0: to prevent this.

You bought how many cases of Phophecy?

Lastbond

:g::g:

Enchantment

You may play any number of land cards on your turn.

Lands you control enter the battlefield tapped.

Wait, so this is just a card creation thread now? For shitty cards?

http://i121.photobucket.com/albums/o...dingersCat.jpg

too strong with vial

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Versus

Rhystic FAIL
Instant
:0:
You win the game. Any player may pay :0: to prevent this.

You bought how many cases of Phophecy?

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I'd play this in storm.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Wrath_Of_Houlding

I'd play this in storm.

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Because every Storm player already packs playsets of Baubles and Spellbook.

BTW, delve works fine with X spells. You declare the spell and the value of X, then pay costs, using delve to decrease the amount of mana you need to cast the spell. See Logic Knot for an X spell with delve.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Versus

Rhystic FAIL
Instant
:0:
You win the game. Any player may pay :0: to prevent this.

You bought how many cases of Phophecy?

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Haha! :laugh:

Will this combo with Mindslaver if you're using it during your opponent's turn?

Merfolk Parrot

U

Swimming

0/1

Tap to add U to your mana pool.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Willoe

Haha! :laugh:

Will this combo with Mindslaver if you're using it during your opponent's turn?

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Yes. Since you make all decisions for that player, you can opt to not pay the :0: and win.

Heh. I once came up with this:

Magus of the Island
:u:
Creature -- Human Wizard
1/1
T: Add :u: to your mana pool.

Would've been a perfect fit for Planar Chaos as part of the Magus cycle, while also working with the color-shifting theme. Of course, whether it's a good idea to reprint Llanowar Elves in blue is another thing entirely, and the answer is most likely no. But it's amusing nonetheless.

(Edit: As for why Island and not one of the other basic lands, that's obviously because they were only doing Magus versions of famous, broken lands.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Humphrey

What happened to the title? TTTRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUTTTTHHH!!!!!!!!!! ~NC

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I dont think a mod should change topics based on personal opinions...

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Humphrey

I dont think a mod should change topics based on personal opinions...

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I agree. It's offensive, misleading and inappropriate.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Maveric78f

I agree. It's offensive, misleading and inappropriate.

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Given half the stuff in this thread, I wouldn't say it's misleading...

Savage tech :u:
instant

target creatures loses shroud




Safe Haven :1::u::u::u:
sorcery

Roll a D20. Whenever you roll 1 to 19, you don't lose the game.
Whenever you roll 20, you roll again.

The irony is great in this one!




Newly born beast :1::g:
creature - beast

~ comes into play tapped

haste