Obligatory shitty card creation thread

Brain Switch 1 - (CMC)

artifact

T, sac ~this~: Until end of turn, whenever player draw a card, other players draw a card instead.

Probably wording is a mess since it replace itself, any help for short working effect which wouldn't be self replace ?

Actually it can be used in any color, it can be easily recycled with quite powerful effect - opponent skip draw, and you draw instead so probably very powerful as 1 cmc. On the other hand each deck can play it and effect doesn't have big impact on game state - only on hands. I can see it could be very powerful with welder ;)

Leyline of Mephistopheles.

Name says it all really.

Exposer of Secrets{g/w}
Half-halfling rogue
When ~ comes into play, draw a card for each card drawn by an opponent this turn.
You may play ~ as if it had flash by removing a green or white card from your hand.
1/1

It may be fine just with flash, come to think of it.

@Tylert: I never said that the challenge is an easy one, considering how OP Brainstorm is.

@Ingo & Fatal: Sacrifice effects disqualify themselves since they aren't symmetrical and can be abused with blue decks. I've updated the challenge primer to reflect that.

@Dice_Box: Works, but gimps yourself against non-draw decks and by not having it in your opening hand.

@Slag: A 1/1 with Flash wouldn't be overpowered, but yet again, it fails the symmetry check. It could be run alongside Brainstorm with no issues.

Brough of Yewmahd :r:

Creature - Troll Soldier

Haste
If a player would draw a card, that player exiles that card instead. They may cast that card as if it were in their hand until end of turn.

1/2

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Not sure if any good, or maybe too good and I just don't see it. It "feels like" one of those things that either will never matter (fair decks don't really care about this effect) or it will completely dominate a game (the Brainstorm player now has to exile to BS and put two cards from hand on top of their library, and chances are they won't be casting this EOT) and so because it is swingy, I just have no idea. But it is an effect which Red seems to be tending towards anyway; the idea that "castable exiling" is their version of "card drawing", and so I feel like it's within Red's scope to do this.

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Originally Posted by TsumiBand

Brough of Yewmahd :r:
Creature - Troll Soldier

Haste
If a player would draw a card, that player exiles that card instead. They may cast that card as if it were in their hand until end of turn.

1/2

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How would this interact with the Miracles trigger? Favorably (for the :r: player), I assume. :laugh:
I would like this even if it was a Gray Ogre body without haste. At those stats it doesn't seem like it would harm Limited, Standard, or Modern... But it would be playable in MY petdeck, so Wizards should make it!

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Originally Posted by TsumiBand

Brough of Yewmahd :r:

Creature - Troll Soldier

Haste
If a player would draw a card, that player exiles that card instead. They may cast that card as if it were in their hand until end of turn.

1/2

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Not sure if any good, or maybe too good and I just don't see it. It "feels like" one of those things that either will never matter (fair decks don't really care about this effect) or it will completely dominate a game (the Brainstorm player now has to exile to BS and put two cards from hand on top of their library, and chances are they won't be casting this EOT) and so because it is swingy, I just have no idea. But it is an effect which Red seems to be tending towards anyway; the idea that "castable exiling" is their version of "card drawing", and so I feel like it's within Red's scope to do this.

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Although a 1 mana Uba Mask with a body feels kinda wrong. I would use the Chains wording instead:

Quote:

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If a player would draw a card except the first one he or she draws in his or her draw step each turn, that player exiles that card instead. They may cast that card as if it were in their hand until end of turn.

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Still feels like a very red effect and kinda discourages "in response" Brainstorming.

I was about to praise it as a really nice design until I realized that it turns Brainstorm essentially into a pseudo-Ancestral Recall with an empty hand, which is less awesome for its intended purpose.

Hard to say how to fix it. Discard first, then draw would also be a red effect, but then again, it would be just a red Chains.

@Tylert: I think noncreature permanents can be done, it just needs to be a bit more tricky:

First rough, quite OP draft would be:

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Bound in Darkness :b:
Enchantment
When you cast Bound in Darkness, target opponent discards a card.
Spells and abilities can't cause players to draw extra cards.

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I'm aware that it's a significantly better Chains due to being cheaper and having an uncounterable discard effect attached to it. Hardly balanced. How about some alternate casting mode instead?

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Bound in Darkness :2::b:
Enchantment
You may exile a black card from your hand rather than pay Bound in Darkness' mana cost. If you do, it gains flash.
When you cast Bound in Darkness, if its mana cost was paid, target player reveals his or her hand. You choose a nonland card from it. That player discards that card.
Spells and abilities can't cause players to draw extra cards.

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I think this version is more interesting than the first draft since it gives you room for decision. The alternate cost + flash ensures that you can catch Brainstorm and other dumb draw spells, although at a small cost. The alternate cast mode gives you a discard spell, although a rather expensive one. And it wouldn't be completely dead against various decks. And at the very least, it wouldn't make Chains automatically obsolete by design alone.

The Ruins at Pendrell Vale - Legendary Land
Each time a player would draw a card except the first one he or she draws in his or her draw step each turn, that player pays :1: or skips that draw instead.
Tap: add :1: to your manapool

After the Tabernacle was burned to the ground, fortune never returned to this once holy place.

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Originally Posted by Ingo

The Ruins at Pendrell Vale - Legendary Land
Each time a player would draw a card except the first one he or she draws in his or her draw step each turn, that player pays one or skips that draw instead.

After the Tabernacle was burned to the ground, fortune never returned to this once holy place.

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Make it at least tap for :1:, otherwise, it would suck.

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Originally Posted by Barook

Make it at least tap for :1:, otherwise, it would suck.

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Your wish is granted:)

For Ruins, i like it. I would add a clause of tapping for mana if you control no islands.

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Originally Posted by sdematt

I would add a clause of tapping for mana if you control no islands.

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That seems kinda ham-fisted design-wise. Chances are that blue decks wouldn't run it anyway.

I like it being uncounterable and not having a window to cast Brainstorm in response.

True, but it needs to at least tap for colourless otgerwise it is unplayable. Being Legendary, you maybe want to play 2, max.

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Originally Posted by sdematt

True, but it needs to at least tap for colourless otherwise it is unplayable. Being Legendary, you maybe want to play 2, max.

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Flavor reasons aside, would it be too strong if it was non-legendary?

I wonder if it would be too good if it stayed legendary, but could tap for mana of any color instead. If it only produces :1:, it competes with Wasteland for slots. As a Rainbow land, it could support a great variety of decks. Or maybe being able to tap for :1: normally or any color by paying 1 life, similiar to Mana Confluence? That would sound fair.

What about tappung for colourless, still legendary, but with a charge counter for mana of any colour?

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Originally Posted by sdematt

What about tappung for colourless, still legendary, but with a charge counter for mana of any colour?

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Like Tendo Ice Bridge? Works, but kinda gets wordy.

Compare

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The Ruins at Pendrell Vale
Legendary Land
Each time a player would draw a card except the first one he or she draws in his or her draw step each turn, that player pays :1: or skips that draw instead.
T: Add :1: to your mana pool.
T, Pay 1 life: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

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with

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The Ruins at Pendrell Vale
Legendary Land
Each time a player would draw a card except the first one he or she draws in his or her draw step each turn, that player pays :1: or skips that draw instead.
The Ruins at Pendrell Vale comes into play with a charge counter on it.
T: Add :1: to your mana pool.
T, Remove a charge counter from The Ruins at Pendrell Vale: Add one mana of any color to your mana pool.

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I would still prefer the pay life variant since it's more flexible. Constantly paying life for colored mana is still a step drawback.

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Originally Posted by Barook

Although a 1 mana Uba Mask with a body feels kinda wrong. I would use the Chains wording instead:



Still feels like a very red effect and kinda discourages "in response" Brainstorming.

I was about to praise it as a really nice design until I realized that it turns Brainstorm essentially into a pseudo-Ancestral Recall with an empty hand, which is less awesome for its intended purpose.

Hard to say how to fix it. Discard first, then draw would also be a red effect, but then again, it would be just a red Chains.

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See, I don't think that's (solely) why people play Brainstorm - it's the buffet of things that BS brings to the table, the card filtering/discard protecting/library manipulating stuff, and Chandra-drawing fucks with all of that. It's true that an empty hand would turn it into an Ancestral Recall, but only if they can play all their cards that very same turn.

If the Brainstorming player is Hellbent instead of trying to decide which 7 to keep then it's done its job, AFAIC.

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Originally Posted by Barook

- design an anti-Brainstorm card that is maindeckable without completely gimping yourself when your opponent isn't playing Brainstorm or card draw in general
...
- the card must be symmetrical, thus not going well with Brainstorm itself (sacrifice effects in general are only temporary and thus not symmetrical); it also mustn't be blue in any form
...

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Considering how fundamentally strong Brainstorm is, those two are tough to put together.

Here are some attempts at non-creature effects.

Balanced Books
W
Enchantment
Whenever a single player would draw a card, each player draws a card instead.

Leyline of Confusion
RR2
Enchantment
If Leyline of Confusion is in your opening hand, you may start the game with it in play.
Whenever a player would draw a card, if that player has a card in his or her hand, that player exiles a card from his or her hand at random, and draws two cards instead.

Fairy Circle
G
Instant
When you cast fairy circle, copy it once for each card an opponent drew this turn.
[Edit: This was too U-friendly, so I added.]
As an additional cost to cast fairy circle discard a card for each card you drew this turn.
Put a 1/1 saproling creature into play.

Chain of Command
B
Instant
You control target player while target spell that player controls resolves.
Exile Chain of command. Starting next turn, that player may play chain of command without paying its mana cost.

...

It would be nice if the hatecard would be a cantrip as well, just like brainstorm.
Something like:

Choking blast :rg:
Instant
Counter target blue spell, if you paid :r:.
Target player can't draw cards this turn, if you paid :g:.
Draw a card if you control no islands.

At the very least, it could be played during upkeep to prevent an opponent drawing during drawstep.

For aggressive red decks:

Mindscourge Goblin :r:
Creature - Goblin Shaman
Whenever a player draws a card, Mindscourge Goblin deals 1 damage to that player.
2/1

I have already posted this leyline earlier. In a meta very heavy with card draw, I believe this is maindeckable in certain decks.

Leyline of Parity :2::w::w:
Enchantment
If Leyline of Parity is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
Each player can't draw more than one card each turn.

Archive Ratcatcher :b:

Creature - Human
Whenever you draw a card, put a 0/1 black Rat token into play.
2/2

First, they ate the spell books. Then they ate the history tomes. Interestingly enough, they haven't touched the cookbooks.

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Originally Posted by cartoonist

Archive Ratcatcher :b:

Creature - Human
Whenever you draw a card, put a 0/1 black Rat token into play.
2/2

First, they ate the spell books. Then they ate the history tomes. Interestingly enough, they haven't touched the cookbooks.

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You want people to play brainstorm more? why not make the token 1/1 :)
I guess you meant "...whenever another player draws a card..."
2/2 for B is too strong with this ability...

Seize the Moment :g: :g:
Instant
Cast Seize the Moment only if four or more cards have been drawn by a single player this turn.
End the Turn.

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Originally Posted by Darkenslight

Seize the Moment :g: :g:
Instant
Cast Seize the Moment only if four or more cards have been drawn by a single player this turn.
End the Turn.

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I think that has all the same weaknesses as Seedtime with little of the upside. I also don't really understand how it punishes Brainstorm beyond - maybe - attacking fetchlands.

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Originally Posted by Ingo

Choking blast :rg:
Instant
Counter target blue spell, if you paid :r:.
Target player can't draw cards this turn, if you paid :g:.
Draw a card if you control no islands.

At the very least, it could be played during upkeep to prevent an opponent drawing during drawstep.

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This is not a cantrip. This is one of the most broken card advantage spells someone has ever suggested. For a single green mana you basically get instant speed Divination with an upside of potentially using it to counter something. This would be splashed in literally ever deck that could afford it. Not because of the countering part but because of the +1 card advantage.

Instants and sorceries in general fail the symmetry test unless you want to go for ham-fisted Tom LaPille designs. All they would do is feed Brainstorm decks even more if they were strong enough.

Leylines in general would make fine sideboard cards, but ask yourself: Would you include it to your MD if it actually existed?

@Vicar in a tutu: Mindscourge Goblin has some pretty aggressive stats. It's two power and at least one ping per natural draw. That's quite a lot for a mere :r:.

@Julian23: I agree that the card is totally unbalanced. I wonder if the design could be salvaged:

Gaea's Interlude: :g:
Instant:
Choose one -
* Players can't draw cards this turn.
* Draw a card.

It would probably fit more into white or black with these modes. Again, it would fail the symmetry test, but I wonder how many blue decks would try to run it.

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Originally Posted by Julian23

This is not a cantrip. This is one of the most broken card advantage spells someone has ever suggested. For a single green mana you basically get instant speed Divination with an upside of potentially using it to counter something. This would be splashed in literally ever deck that could afford it. Not because of the countering part but because of the +1 card advantage.

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I liked the thought of a brainstorm-hatecard being a cantrip. Perhaps it's too overpowered, and it's better to drop the carddraw? Then again, brainstorm itself is pretty busted too, perhaps a broken card is needed as counterweight against blue shell/brainstorm's dominance.

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Originally Posted by Barook

@Julian23: I agree that the card is totally unbalanced. I wonder if the design could be salvaged:

Gaea's Interlude: :g:
Instant:
Choose one -
* Players can't draw cards this turn.
* Draw a card.

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The choice between the two effects (drawhate and counter) was added because it's manainsufficiency to leave 1 mana open to cast the first, in hopes of responding to brainstorm; By adding a secondary use, the counterpart, leaving a mana open is much more flexible and efficient. So I would prefer on dropping the carddrawpart, instead of the counterpart.

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Originally Posted by Barook

...

Gaea's Interlude: :g:
Instant:
Choose one -
* Players can't draw cards this turn.
* Draw a card.

It would probably fit more into white or black with these modes. Again, it would fail the symmetry test, but I wonder how many blue decks would try to run it.

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Even without the cantrip option, you can cast it during the opponent's upkeep. It's a super-counter for brainstorm, an effective counter to treasure cruise and SDT miracle activations, and a reasonable response to ponder, gitaxian probe, elvish visionary, mental note, and thought scour. It's useful against every deck in the DTB and good to decent in other matchups. Combo decks might maindeck it.

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Originally Posted by rufus

Even without the cantrip option, you can cast it during the opponent's upkeep. It's a super-counter for brainstorm, an effective counter to treasure cruise and SDT miracle activations, and a reasonable response to ponder, gitaxian probe, elvish visionary, mental note, and thought scour. It's useful against every deck in the DTB and good to decent in other matchups. Combo decks might maindeck it.

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But, requires you to keep a mana open, whereas the rest of the deck isn't built to make use of this (by packing counters for example). I think it's hardly that powerful when it requires you to be one landdrop behind, especially versus tempodecks.

Also, choosing between "draw a card" and "negate your opponents drawstep" is quite alike in terms of cardadvantage.

These reasons is why I like a "counterspell-versus-blue better" as the second choice, instead of "draw a card".

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Originally Posted by Ingo

But, requires you to keep a mana open, whereas the rest of the deck isn't built to make use of this (by packing counters for example). I think it's hardly that powerful when it requires you to be one landdrop behind, especially versus tempo decks.

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I don't understand what you mean. It can be played as a proactive card - leave a green mana open on your turn to respond to any EoT Brainstorms or instant speed cantrips, and, if there aren't any, you cast it on the opponent's upkeep as a virtual cantrip and still lock that player out of using Ponder or Treasure Cruise for the turn.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Barook

@Vicar in a tutu: Mindscourge Goblin has some pretty aggressive stats. It's two power and at least one ping per natural draw. That's quite a lot for a mere :r:

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How about this?

Goblin Battleshaman :r:
Creature - Goblin Shaman
Whenever a player a draws a card, Goblin Battleshaman deals 1 damage to that player.
Goblin Battleshaman cannot block or attack alone.
2/1

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Originally Posted by rufus

I don't understand what you mean. It can be played as a proactive card - leave a green mana open on your turn to respond to any EoT Brainstorms or instant speed cantrips, and, if there aren't any, you cast it on the opponent's upkeep as a virtual cantrip and still lock that player out of using Ponder or Treasure Cruise for the turn.

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The primary effect is: "Target player can't draw cards this turn, if you paid :g:"
It's like you say, you should keep your mana open until EOT to catch brainstorm when playing against blue. But if there's no brainstorm following, the upkeep-draw-negation isn't that good (also as you say, just a virtual cantrip). Suppose you'd have a Red Elemental Blast in hand at the same time, you could use your open mana to counter the next blue spell being cast, which is probably a stronger play than the virtual cantrip.

That's why I suggested the secondary effect: "Counter target blue spell, if you paid :r:"
If you keep your mana open to catch a brainstorm but it ain't coming, you still have a red-elemental-blast-effect in the same card, for countering the next blue spell that gets cast. Having a draw-denial and a counter in one card makes sense, because they both could use the mana you left open, both in a different scenario.

Chaossphere :r:
Enchantment

Whenever a player would manipulate his library, he first draws a card, and afterwards randomly discards a card.
(manipulating your library includes shuffling, looking at cards or putting cards back on top or bottom).

Sacrifice Chaossphere: Scry 1, then draw a card.


(EDIT: coming to think of it, this sacrificing part makes it abusable by bluedecksfeaturingcantrip as well. So perhaps this is better:)
Chaossphere :r:
Legendary Enchantment
Whenever a player would manipulate his library, he first draws a card, and afterwards randomly discards a card.
(manipulating your library includes shuffling, looking at cards or putting cards back on top or bottom).
Whenever chaossphere goes to the graveyard, draw a card.

I don't really think only trying to attack Brainstorm the card specifically is the way to go. It's too efficient and by the time you get your hate online, it could be irrelevant. There are also real flavor/color pie concerns to take into account. And creating narrow answers doesn't lead to interesting gameplay. Here are some ideas I've had keeping in mind I'm terrible at names:

Volcanic Servant
1RR
Creature - Human Shaman
2/2
Intimidate
When ~ enters the battlefield, destroy target Island.

Fire Confidant
1R
Creature - Human Wizard
2/1
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
When you play a card exiled with Fire Confidant, Fire Confidant deals damage to you equal to that card's converted mana cost.

Mirri's Guile Dude
G
Enchantment Creature - Nymph or whatever
0/3
Reach
At the beginning of your upkeep, look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
When Mirri's Guile Dude dies, draw a card.

Tree Canopy
1G
Enchantment
When you control an Island, sacrifice Tree Canopy.
Reveal the first card you draw each turn. If that card is a creature or land card, draw a card.

Underworld Dreams Dude
BB
Creature - Nightmare
2/2
First strike
Whenever a player draws a card, that player loses 1 life.

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Originally Posted by maharis

I don't really think only trying to attack Brainstorm the card specifically is the way to go. It's too efficient and by the time you get your hate online, it could be irrelevant. There are also real flavor/color pie concerns to take into account. And creating narrow answers doesn't lead to interesting gameplay. Here are some ideas I've had keeping in mind I'm terrible at names:

Volcanic Servant
1RR
Creature - Human Shaman
2/2
Intimidate
When ~ enters the battlefield, destroy target Island.

Fire Confidant
1R
Creature - Human Wizard
2/1
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play that card this turn.
When you play a card exiled with Fire Confidant, Fire Confidant deals damage to you equal to that card's converted mana cost.

Mirri's Guile Dude
G
Enchantment Creature - Nymph or whatever
0/3
Reach
At the beginning of your upkeep, look at the top three cards of your library, then put them back in any order.
When Mirri's Guile Dude dies, draw a card.

Tree Canopy
1G
Enchantment
When you control an Island, sacrifice Tree Canopy.
Reveal the first card you draw each turn. If that card is a creature or land card, draw a card.

Underworld Dreams Dude
BB
Creature - Nightmare
2/2
First strike
Whenever a player draws a card, that player loses 1 life.

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Aside from being "cheap" LD and Maro hating that, Volcanic Servant can be run with blue decks. Why not change it to "When ~ enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices an Island."? Same outcome in nonblue decks, but you would screw yourself over in blue decks.

Fire Confidant is a cool concept, but what exactly prevents you from feeding it with Brainstorm? That's not how you make the format less blue.

Same for the Guilde dude. While it's nice for GSZ, what prevents UGx decks from running a few GSZ (free extra shuffles - yeah!) alongside it?

Tree Canopy works, although the "drawback" is a bit ham-fisted.

Underworld Dreams Dude seems alright. Not great, just kinda alright.

I actually deleted all my explanations so my post wouldn't be a million years long, and you ended up asking a bunch of questions I asked myself.

1) RR is generally a lot to ask of the URx decks, and I don't think it's much of a better sideboard card than REB. I did consider the "each player sacrifices" wording for that reason, though. It could work but it could also prevent the caster from effectively mana screwing a player. As for whether it could be printed, Peak Eruption is in Theros and this card is pretty much the same sort of effect. It's not like players are using blue mana to remove it in Standard or anywhere, and as a 2/2 it will die to most commonly played standard removal. Further, duals in standard don't tend to have land types, so it won't hit those cards.

2) Bob himself doesn't make the cut in blue decks anymore, and this card is worse than him in those decks because you could always flip over a counterspell. I don't even know if this card is good but it might be interesting.

3) I'm not even sure this card is good in Legacy, even in a blue deck. It fixes your draws and dies to a Delver in a pinch, but is easily removed. Again, no reason for a blue deck to play this over Hierarch or DRS given that it will already have a superior suite of hand fixing.

4) The flavor of this card is supposed to be a jungle that floods at certain times of year. In this case, when you embrace non-green magic (anything but creatures and lands, as Maro has stated often), you get no effect; if you go so far as to bring water magic into its presence, you lose everything. I got the idea when I took my kid to the aquarium and there was an exhibit about such a habitat.

5) I know. I can't really think of a better black card at the moment that isn't just Necropotence or a color-shifted Sylvan Library or Chains on a stick.

I also can't think of a white card at all. White can't draw cards, and while it can stop people from doing so, we see from SotL that effect is limited. Need to think harder there. Thalia is as good as it gets at the moment.

Gold cards, planeswalkers, and artifacts are an interesting space, but harder to conceptualize. Artifacts are also super problematic in blue, especially in Vintage.

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Originally Posted by maharis

I also can't think of a white card at all. White can't draw cards, and while it can stop people from doing so, we see from SotL that effect is limited. Need to think harder there. Thalia is as good as it gets at the moment.

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White could have Tithe effects (preferable for basic Plains) or cards similiar to Ranger of Eos which looks for white creatures with low CMC or power (chances are that it would end in an SFM-fetching orgy).

There were also rebels.

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Originally Posted by maharis

...
I also can't think of a white card at all. White can't draw cards, and while it can stop people from doing so, we see from SotL that effect is limited. Need to think harder there. Thalia is as good as it gets at the moment.
...

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White has balance-type effects:
Draw a card for each card that target opponent drew this turn unless that player drew a card from a spell or effect you controlled.

Tax effects:
Whenever a player would draw a card, that player may pay 1 mana for each card he or she alntoiready drew this turn and then draw a card, or exile that card.

Lock effects:
Players can't draw cards. Each player puts the top card of his or her library into his or her hand at the beginning of his or her first main phase.

Token spitting:
Whenever a spell or effect makes an opponent draw a card, put 1/1 soldier token into play. Whenever a spell or effect makes you draw a card, each opponent puts a 1/1 solider token into play.

Reclamation effects:
Whenever a player looks at a card on top of his or her library, or puts a card on top of his or her library, each of that player's opponents may return a creature card with casting cost 1 or less from your graveyard to the battlefield.

Just a random, new card. Not related to Brainstorm-hate. I've been trying to make red cards thematically related to love.

Lover's Kiss :r:
Sorcery
Exile the top card of your library. Until end of turn, you may play the card exiled this way.
Rebound.

Goblin Kin-Caller :1::r:
Creature - Goblin Shaman
At the beginning of your upkeep, exile the top card of your library. You may play it this turn if it's a Goblin card.
2/1
His call echoes throughout every warren of the Nornglasts.