I actually agree 100%
I just wish red had an answer..any answer.
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It would be nice if Red had a "reliable chaotic answer" to spells. Chaos Warp, kiiiiiind of is that, but something for on the stack. Coin flips being 50/50 don't really lend themselves to chaos, and most of the game's coin flip effects are strictly for the kitchen table. It almost makes me wish that 6-sided dice were part of the game. I'd play some jank like:
Foof X:r:
Instant
Spend only red mana on -this-. X cannot be greater than 4.
If target spell would resolve, roll a 6-sided die and add X to the result. If the total is greater than 5, that spell loses all text and deals damage equal to twice its casting cost to its controller and all creatures he or she controls. Creatures damaged this way can't be regenerated this turn.
"....that's not what usually happens when I do this."
Of course when it fails when it shouldn't the spell will be declared "Strictly Worse" than every Blue spell ever, so I dunno. If Counterspell had been Mana Leak instead, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
Angryphants :g::g:
Instant
Put a 3/3 Elephant into play for each spell target opponent cast beyond the first this turn.
"That isn't thunder, but a storm's coming."
This probably just sucks and would typically be an EOT 3/3. Might get the occasional laff out of punishing a combo player that fizzles (as if fizzling isn't enough).
Unenlightened Tutor :r:
Search your Library for a card and place it on top, then shuffle your Library.
I found the book Master, I left it for you by the fireplace. Then I lit it to warm the room for you.
Brilliant.
While I was showering, I got an idea for a card I need for my Karametra EDH.
Utopia Tutor :1::wg::wg::wg:
Sorcery
Search your library for an artifact card,
a creature card and an enchantment card
with a combined cmc six or less.
Reveal those cards to all players and shuffle
your library.
An opponent of your choice puts one of those cards
on the top of your library, one of them into your hand
and one of them onto the battlefield under your control.
"Just what we needed: Gifts mixed with SnT."
Too strong for 3 mana?
Nilrem, Voidstone Mage :1::w::w:
Legendary Creature - Human Wizard
As Nilrem, Voidstone Mage enters the battlefield, name a nonland card.
The named card can't be cast or enter the battlefield.
Activated abilities of sources with the chosen name can't be activated. If the named card is a creature, it can't attack or block.
2/2
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I like them all, but I would have Squee put the card in hand. The ability to pay 3 mana, drop a 2/2 with haste and the put the top four goblins in my hand seams a touch powerful.
Humpfrey, I also like the cards. Few of them are more funny than useful, and the eggs are maybe quite too powerful, but they're lovely.
The card "Somewhere" would be fucking sweet. I would play the shit out of that card.
Lackey is Shit now a days. That's why I don't play goblins anymore. After 10 years, moved on.
3 Mana tutor for any goblin straight into play to me is a touch nuts. I think I would rather see it as a -2, Matron effect. Not the most powerful thing, but useful. Otherwise I could see something like:
-5 You may search your library for up three goblin creatures and put them into play, then shuffle your library.
I never thought Goblins would need a kick in the butt.
Greg Proops, Goblin of Improv :r::r:
Legendary Creature - Goblin Ass Assassin
Whenever Greg Proops, Goblin of Improv attacks, you may put up to two Goblin creature cards from your hand into play tapped and attacking. If you do, sacrifice those creatures at end of turn.
"I have Colin Mochrie on speed-dial, I will end you"
squee should definately be a "Goblin Planeswalker - Squee".
Yes, they should work like Walkers.
Complete:
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I'd like to see something like, "Whenever a creature enters the battlefield, it deals damage equal to its converted mana cost [or power] to its controller." :1::r::r: maybe.