Obligatory shitty card creation thread

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Originally Posted by Nonex

Coveted Feast :b:
Instant
Destroy target creature with power greater than its converted mana cost. It can't be regenerated.

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1B would actually make tis card really interesting.

College of Lat-Nam
Legendary Land
T: Add :u: to your mana pool for each spell card on the stack. After the last spell is removed from the stack, empty your mana pool.

Cool, fox. But good God is that broken.

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Originally Posted by Nonex

Æther Paradox :w:
Instant
Rearrange all spells and abilities on the stack.
Draw a card.

Wins every counterwar.

Reality Purge :u:
Instant
You draw a card, then each player exiles all cards from his or her library. For each player, the next time that player would draw a card, instead he or she shuffles all exiled cards he or she owns into his or her library, then draws a card.

Finally a good way to get the exiled stuff back!

Frozen Heartbeats :b:
Instant
Life totals can't change this turn.
Draw a card.

Too strong, its a fog + cantrip.

Anonymity :r:
Instant
Counter each spell with a single target. Spells with a single target can't be cast this turn.
Draw a card.

Also wins the counterwar. And removal why does this cantrip again?

Nature's Constriction :g:
Instant
Each player exiles all permanents he or she controls with converted mana cost greater than the number of lands he or she controls.
Draw a card.

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I like it!

Jhoira's Bauble :0:
Artifact
Jhoira's Bauble ETB with a charge counter on it.
T, remove a charge counter from Jhoira's Bauble: draw a card at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.

A bauble that don't sacrifice itself so it can fuel metalcraft, or be used for sacrificing purposes.

Compass :0:
Artifact
T : look at the top card of your library. If it's a land, you may reveal it, sacrifice Compass and add that card to your hand.
Land, finally!

An alternative take on the Bauble designed to protect from flood. Probably too similar to Mishra's Bauble , and probably considerably better because you can use more easily as a scry 1 engine with fetchlands. So since everything stupid with fetches, what about an artifact hoser? (that isn't ankh).

Recycler :1:
Artifact
Whenever your opponent sacrifice a permanent from an effect you don't control, you may draw a card.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.

This is a sort of Black Vise but against fetches. Absurd if you cast it T1 as it will probably draw you 2-3 cards for 1, pretty lame later on. The "don't control" is there to prevent obvious abuse with edicts/liliana, but maybe it's not necessary, who know.

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Originally Posted by Gheizen64

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Recycler :1:
Artifact
Whenever your opponent sacrifice a permanent from an effect you don't control, you may draw a card.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.

This is a sort of Black Vise but against fetches. Absurd if you cast it T1 as it will probably draw you 2-3 cards for 1, pretty lame later on. The "don't control" is there to prevent obvious abuse with edicts/liliana, but maybe it's not necessary, who know.

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You could template off Angel of Jubilation - "Whenever an opponent sacrifices a permanent to cast a spell or activate an ability, you may draw a card."

More OP designs, but that's what the thread is for, right?

Negru Spiritual - 1B
Instant - Song
Regenerate each black creature you control.
Attacking black creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn.


Anarchic Reprogramming - 1R
Instant
Until end of turn, the stack becomes a queue.
(In a queue, the first object resolves first)
Draw a card at the beginning of the next turn's upkeep.


Nature's Keeper - 1G
Creature - Druid Shaman
Flash
If a blue or black enchantment would enter the battlefield, instead exile it.
2/2


Lonely Island - U
Enchantment
When ~ enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices all Islands he or she controls except one.
Each player cannot play Islands as long as he or she controls an Island.

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Originally Posted by FTW

Negru Spiritual - 1B
Instant - Song
Regenerate each black creature you control.
Attacking black creatures get +1/+1 until end of turn.

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So wrong

Quote:

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Originally Posted by FTW

Anarchic Reprogramming - 1R
Instant
Until end of turn, the stack becomes a queue.
(In a queue, the first object resolves first)
Draw a card.

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How about:
Spells and abilities may only be used at Sorcery Speed.

Still kills counterspells and answers; but without adding rules. Does mess up instants a bit, but has more utility. Should probably be WR

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Originally Posted by FTW

Lonely Island - U
Enchantment
When ~ enters the battlefield, each player sacrifices all Islands he or she controls except one.
Each player cannot play Islands as long as he or she controls an Island.

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Pangea - 1GR
Sorcery
Each player shuffles all islands they control into their deck, then may search their library for that many non-islands land cards and put them onto the battlefield tapped.

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Originally Posted by tescrin

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Pangea - 1GR
Sorcery
Each player shuffles all islands they control into their deck, then may search their library for that many non-islands land cards and put them onto the battlefield tapped.

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In a world full of fetch-lands that might not do so much.

Urabrask's Despise http://hydra-media.cursecdn.com/mtgs...cb0b3b15754339
Instant
As an additional cost to play Urabrask's Despise, pay X life.
Choose one:
- Counter target blue spell with converted mana cost X or less
- Destroy target blue permanent with converted mana cost X or less

Lushland
Land
T: add :1: to your mana pool
T, Sacrifice: draw a card. Use this ability only if you control 2 or more basic lands.

Encourage you to play more basics, like waste, but a positive ability.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gheizen64

Urabrask's Despise http://hydra-media.cursecdn.com/mtgs...cb0b3b15754339
Instant
As an additional cost to play Urabrask's Despise, pay X life.
Choose one:
- Counter target blue spell with converted mana cost X or less
- Destroy target blue permanent with converted mana cost X or less

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You could probably drop the "or less" since the necessary value is known for both instances at the time of casting, so the only reason you would overpay is for some ridiculous Death's Shadow interaction.

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Originally Posted by rufus

In a world full of fetch-lands that might not do so much.

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lol... whoops. Probably would work OK in burn? :p
Cosi's Trickster?

But yeah; I dun goofed.

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Originally Posted by Gheizen64

Lushland
Land
T: add :1: to your mana pool
T, Sacrifice: draw a card. Use this ability only if you control 2 or more basic lands.

Encourage you to play more basics, like waste, but a positive ability.

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[card]Horizon Canopy[/card] is significantly better than this (2 colors of mana instead of colorless, can draw without basics) and barely sees any play. I doubt most decks would want to play a colorless land AND be forced to play basics. Decks that play lots of basics already play tribal mana denial package (4 Wasteland + 2-4 Rishadan Port or Mutavaults + X Cavern of Souls) or Sol land package (4 Ancient Tomb + 3-4 City of Traitors)... do they really want more colorless mana?

I like the principle, but I think you could power this up without breaking the format.

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Originally Posted by ftw

i like the principle, but i think you could power this up without breaking the format.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by gheizen64

lushland
land
(this card is blue)
t: add 3 to your mana pool
t, sacrifice: Draw 3 cards. Use this ability only if you control 2 or more basic brainstorms.

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ftfy.

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Originally Posted by jrsthethird

ftfy.

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U Troll, son - 2R
Creature - Troll
R: Regenerates
Uthdens feed their young well, oi.
2/3

Irrational Backlash :b::b::r::r:
Enchantment
If Irrational Backlash is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell that targets you or a spell or permanent you control, that player reveals his or her hand, and you may cast a nonland card from it without paying its mana cost. If no cards can be cast from that player's hand this way, you may cast a nonland card from that player's graveyard without paying its mana cost. If no cards can be cast from that player's graveyard this way, discard a card at random.
If a card cast from a graveyard with Irrational Backlash would leave the stack, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Nonex

Irrational Backlash :b::b::r::r:
Enchantment
If Irrational Backlash is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
Whenever an opponent casts a spell that targets you or a spell or permanent you control, that player reveals his or her hand, and you may cast a nonland card from it without paying its mana cost. If no cards can be cast from that player's hand this way, you may cast a nonland card from that player's graveyard without paying its mana cost. If no cards can be cast from that player's graveyard this way, discard a card at random.
If a card cast from a graveyard with Irrational Backlash would leave the stack, exile it instead of putting it anywhere else.

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Leyline of Fuck You

Thief's Bauble :0:

Artifact

{T}, Sacrifice Thief's Bauble: The next time an opponent would draw a card except the first one he or she draws in each of his or her draw steps, instead that player skips that draw and you draw a card.