Obligatory shitty card creation thread

I like making almost too powerful cards that really aren't too powerful anymore in relation to the things that have seen recent print like Tarmogoyf.

Mage Rage
UR
Instant
Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.
Draw a card.
Mage Rage deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

Comet
RRRR
Sorcery
Comet deals 5 damage to each creature and each player.

Dark Elf
GB
Creature - Demon Elf
When Dark Elf comes into play, look at target opponent's hand. You choose a noncreature, nonland card from it. That player discards that card.
2/1

Ramosian General
1WW
Creature - Human Rebel
Other Rebel creatures you control get +1/+1.
5, T: Search your library for a Rebel permanent card with converted mana cost 4 or less and put that card onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.
2/2

Urza's Greatsword
1
Legendary Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+0.
Equipped creature gains Double Strike.
Equip 1.

Black Mamba
1G
Creature - Snake
Poison 3.
1/1

Poisonous Fangs
G
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains Poison 2.
Equip G.

Judgement Day
U/B WW
Sorcery
Destroy all Creatures. They can't be regenerated.

Merfolk Bouncer
2U
Creature - Merfolk
When Merfolk Bouncer enters the battlefield, return target creature to its owner's hand.

Machine Head
BR
Haste.
Machine Head cannot block.
4/1.

Undead Sorcerer
UBR
Creature - Zombie Wizard
Whenever an opponent is dealt damage or you draw a card, return Undead Sorcerer from your graveyard to play.
Sacrifice Undead Sorcerer: Undead Sorcerer deals 1 damage to target creature or player, or you may draw a card. Activate this ability only once each turn.
0/1

water Sprite :2::u:
Creature - Faerie
Flash
Flying, protection from green and from red
2/1

Mirror Library :3:
Legendary Artifact
If you draw a card, instead draw it from the bottom of your library.

Mama Bear
2G
Creature - Bear
1/1
When Mama Bear comes into play, you may search your library for a Bear card and put it in your hand, then shuffle your library.

Bear Sharer
3G
Creature - Bear
2/2
Flash
When Bear Share comes into play, reveal the top four cards of your library. Put all Bear cards revealed this way into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library.

Bear Hugger
1G
Creature - Bear Warrior
1/2
Trample
Whenever Bear Hugger attacks, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking Bear.

Bear Clan Elder
1GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
Bear creatures you control have Shroud.

Bear Chieftain
1GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
All other Bears you control get +2/+2.

Bear Packmaster
3GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
When Bear Packmaser enters the battlefield, put three 1/1 green Bear creature tokens onto the battlefield.
1G, Sacrifice a Bear: Bear Packmaster deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

Might of the Bear
1GG
Tribal Sorcery - Bear
Destroy target non-Bear permanent.

Bear Cub
G
Creature - Bear
1/1
When Bear Cub deals damage to a player, you may put a Bear permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Gempalm Trampler
2G
Creature - Bear
2/1
Cycling 1G
When you cycle Bearclaw Incinerator, Bear creatures get +1/+1 and trample until end of turn.

Damn straight. I want to see Bear Aggro.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chokin

Mama Bear
2G
Creature - Bear
1/1
When Mama Bear comes into play, you may search your library for a Bear card and put it in your hand, then shuffle your library.

Bear Sharer
3G
Creature - Bear
2/2
Flash
When Bear Share comes into play, reveal the top four cards of your library. Put all Bear cards revealed this way into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library.

Bear Hugger
1G
Creature - Bear Warrior
1/2
Trample
Whenever Bear Hugger attacks, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking Bear.

Bear Clan Elder
1GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
Bear creatures you control have Shroud.

Bear Chieftain
1GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
All other Bears you control get +2/+2.

Bear Packmaster
3GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
When Bear Packmaser enters the battlefield, put three 1/1 green Bear creature tokens onto the battlefield.
1G, Sacrifice a Bear: Bear Packmaster deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

Might of the Bear
1GG
Tribal Sorcery - Bear
Destroy target non-Bear permanent.

Bear Cub
G
Creature - Bear
1/1
When Bear Cub deals damage to a player, you may put a Bear permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Gempalm Trampler
2G
Creature - Bear
2/1
Cycling 1G
When you cycle Bearclaw Incinerator, Bear creatures get +1/+1 and trample until end of turn.

Damn straight. I want to see Bear Aggro.

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So you want to see Goblins re-skinned in Green??:rolleyes:

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chokin

Mama Bear
2G
Creature - Bear
1/1
When Mama Bear comes into play, you may search your library for a Bear card and put it in your hand, then shuffle your library.

Bear Sharer
3G
Creature - Bear
2/2
Flash
When Bear Share comes into play, reveal the top four cards of your library. Put all Bear cards revealed this way into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library.

Bear Hugger
1G
Creature - Bear Warrior
1/2
Trample
Whenever Bear Hugger attacks, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking Bear.

Bear Clan Elder
1GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
Bear creatures you control have Shroud.

Bear Chieftain
1GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
All other Bears you control get +2/+2.

Bear Packmaster
3GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
When Bear Packmaser enters the battlefield, put three 1/1 green Bear creature tokens onto the battlefield.
1G, Sacrifice a Bear: Bear Packmaster deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

Might of the Bear
1GG
Tribal Sorcery - Bear
Destroy target non-Bear permanent.

Bear Cub
G
Creature - Bear
1/1
When Bear Cub deals damage to a player, you may put a Bear permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Gempalm Trampler
2G
Creature - Bear
2/1
Cycling 1G
When you cycle Bearclaw Incinerator, Bear creatures get +1/+1 and trample until end of turn.

Damn straight. I want to see Bear Aggro.

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GO BEARS!

(Beat Stanfurd!)

If you're going for Bear Aggro, you should have something like:

Rise of the Bears :g:
http://finickypenguin.files.wordpres...insaw-bear.jpg
Tribal Enchantment - Bear

All creatures you control with a power of 2, a toughness of 2, a converted mana cost of 2 and no abilities gain Double Strike. (Double Strike gained from this effect does not remove it.)

Agh! Hans, Run! It's a chainsaw-weilding bear!
-Saffi Eriksdotter, last words after being reanimated after her encounter with a Lhurgoyf.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jason

I've been wanting an instant-speed draw-three for mono-blue control for some time now to complement Fact or Fiction

How about
:1: :u: :u: :u:
Instant
Draw three cards

or

:3: :u: :u:
Instant
Draw three cards

The first might be a little better, but it's still going to require a deck heavy in lands and heavy in blue. At least give me the second one! Inspiration is too weak and Opportunity is too slow!!

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You have Meditate
http://magiccards.info/tp/en/76.html
http://magiccards.info/scans/en/tp/76.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hanni

Undead Sorcerer
UBR
Creature - Zombie Wizard
Whenever an opponent is dealt damage or you draw a card, return Undead Sorcerer from your graveyard to play.
Sacrifice Undead Sorcerer: Undead Sorcerer deals 1 damage to target creature or player, or you may draw a card. Activate this ability only once each turn.
0/1

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You realize this guy is an infinite draw/damage combo with himself since each time he comes back the game treats him as a new permanent to whom the restriction won't apply, yes?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by chokin

Mama Bear
2G
Creature - Bear
1/1
When Mama Bear comes into play, you may search your library for a Bear card and put it in your hand, then shuffle your library.

Bear Sharer
3G
Creature - Bear
2/2
Flash
When Bear Share comes into play, reveal the top four cards of your library. Put all Bear cards revealed this way into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library.

Bear Hugger
1G
Creature - Bear Warrior
1/2
Trample
Whenever Bear Hugger attacks, it gets +2/+0 until end of turn for each other attacking Bear.

Bear Clan Elder
1GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
Bear creatures you control have Shroud.

Bear Chieftain
1GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
All other Bears you control get +2/+2.

Bear Packmaster
3GG
Creature - Bear
2/2
When Bear Packmaser enters the battlefield, put three 1/1 green Bear creature tokens onto the battlefield.
1G, Sacrifice a Bear: Bear Packmaster deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

Might of the Bear
1GG
Tribal Sorcery - Bear
Destroy target non-Bear permanent.

Bear Cub
G
Creature - Bear
1/1
When Bear Cub deals damage to a player, you may put a Bear permanent card from your hand onto the battlefield.

Gempalm Trampler
2G
Creature - Bear
2/1
Cycling 1G
When you cycle Bearclaw Incinerator, Bear creatures get +1/+1 and trample until end of turn.

Damn straight. I want to see Bear Aggro.

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http://imgur.com/fcyfg.jpg

http://imgur.com/adcj0.png

http://imgur.com/bXmwC.jpg

http://imgur.com/ZCT2D.jpg

http://imgur.com/EfCHB.gif

http://imgur.com/OSaoJ.jpg

Except that some U-based decks don't want to give their opponent a (often surprising, but still) extra turn. But there has been a discussion of this in this part of the forum already.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Hanni

Hanna's Embrace
1UW
Instant
Exile target nonland permanent. It's controller gains life equal to its converted mana cost.

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It would not even have to be an Instant, Sorcery would be fine, too. But pure UW needs an allround solution besides O. Ring since the latter can more or less easily be removed. Every deck hates conditional removal, Hanna's Ebmrace would solve this problem.

@ Hanni:
The existence of perhaps too powerfull cards doesnt validate the creation of cards which are too powerful as well; if this would be the case soon we would be playing only card post-[certain set]. The cards you designed do not only seem overpowered; they are overpowered. Perhaps they are not better than tarmogoyf, but they are such a distance above the vast majority of creatures/spells that they should not printed. So no 4/1 haste for 2CC, a 3CC mass sweeper or an equipment which comes online turn 2 and has devastating effects on many creatures (imagine it on a goyf or a nacatl) or even your black mamba.

We better solve the 'goyf problem' by printing niche-cards like relic or something like Clanhome of Hans (1st post) then creating other cards that outclass 99% of the format.

I agree with the people in this post saying that white is underpowered atm. Despite control cards like wog, humility and elspeth I always like to see white play the aggresive role. Therefore I would love to see this card printed to aid white weenie:

You'll never walk alone
Enchantment 2W

Creatures can't block alone
Creatures can't attack alone

Furthemore I would love to see a Soldier Matron and a Daru War Marshall (analogue to goblin guys) to reinforce soldier tribal.

Insanity's Crest :3:
Artifact
Whenever a player draws a card, that player sacrifices a land.

Go eat that, Brainstorm/Standstill!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by La_Hire

The existence of perhaps too powerfull cards doesnt validate the creation of cards which are too powerful as well; if this would be the case soon we would be playing only card post-[certain set]. The cards you designed do not only seem overpowered; they are overpowered. Perhaps they are not better than tarmogoyf, but they are such a distance above the vast majority of creatures/spells that they should not printed. So no 4/1 haste for 2CC, a 3CC mass sweeper or an equipment which comes online turn 2 and has devastating effects on many creatures (imagine it on a goyf or a nacatl) or even your black mamba.

We better solve the 'goyf problem' by printing niche-cards like relic or something like Clanhome of Hans (1st post) then creating other cards that outclass 99% of the format.

I agree with the people in this post saying that white is underpowered atm. Despite control cards like wog, humility and elspeth I always like to see white play the aggresive role. Therefore I would love to see this card printed to aid white weenie:

You'll never walk alone
Enchantment 2W

Creatures can't block alone
Creatures can't attack alone

Furthemore I would love to see a Soldier Matron and a Daru War Marshall (analogue to goblin guys) to reinforce soldier tribal.

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There's a lot of truth in these statements. Another truth is that Magic would be joined to Spellfire for years if it was democratically made by its players.

And for the most I liked the zombie Lackey quasi-analogue stated here before, I disagree that make straight colorshifted functional reprints is the right way to go. Different colors have different philosophies, flavors and strategies, so should be their approaches. And if a soldier Matron is worth print, it's much more likelly to follow the Imperial Recruiter (that never had anything to do with Red anyways) weenie route than Goblin Matron's (another non-Red print error).

Something I see as a very in-color Soldier mechanic is the old Kor damage redirection ability. It's kind of a non-clunky banding trace full of whiteness and militar flavor, with its idea of attacking and blocking with a pack of small men together as an unit, with each one covering his companion's backside.

(As a side note, there are some interesting Soldier approaches going on on New & Development, with things like that Lorwyn block soldier Lackey and a bunch of Soldier lords. Interesting and funny at least.)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by SilverGreen

And if a soldier Matron is worth print, it's much more likelly to follow the Imperial Recruiter (that never had anything to do with Red anyways) weenie route than Goblin Matron's (another non-Red print error).

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I think he/she is talking about Ruel.

and dont we have Raise the Alarm as a pseudo-Soldier War Marshall?

You forgot to make a card called Gear Bear for that bear deck. I'm not sure what it would do but it would be hilarious.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by quicksilver

You forgot to make a card called Gear Bear for that bear deck. I'm not sure what it would do but it would be hilarious.

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Gear Bear :2::g::g:
http://clintonschoolblog.com/cblog/w...1/gearhart.jpg
Haha, see what I did here? I put in a picture of another David Gearheart! God, I'm funny.
Creature - Bear
Flash
When Gear Bear enters the battlefield, untap all Forests you control.
When a Forest is tapped for mana, it produces an additional :g:
2/2

Need moar Soldiers!

Quote:

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Steelforged Commander :3:

Artifact Creature - Golem Soldier

Other Soldier creatures you control get +1/+1

Flash

When Steelforged Commander enters the Battlefield, you may pay :w:.
If you do, target Soldier you control gains Double Strike until end of turn.

"'Human factor'? Not when I am here."
1/2

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And

Quote:

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Saboteur Commando :2::w:

Creature - Human Soldier

Artifact, Creature and Enchantment spells your opponents cast cost :1: more to cast.

"One man can't beat an army? But now they can't afford an army!"
2/1

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http://img14.imageshack.us/img14/2456/02449.jpg

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Humphrey

http://chizumatic.mee.nu/images/02449.jpg

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Hmm that picture wasn't being shown for me for a minute there.

Quote:

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You realize this guy is an infinite draw/damage combo with himself since each time he comes back the game treats him as a new permanent to whom the restriction won't apply, yes?

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Yes, my bad. I thought about the design of this card all day because I really like it. I've completely changed the design to the functionality that I originally intended for it.

Syrna, Mage of Destruction
UBR
Legendary Creature - Wraith Wizard
Flying
Whenever you draw a card, if Syrna, Mage of Destruction is in your graveyard, you may return Syrna, Mage of Destruction to the battlefield.
Sacrifice Syrna, Mage of Destruction: Syrna, Mage of Destruction deals 1 damage to target creature or player.
1/1

Basically, a recurring wizard that sac's to ping. The draw [to recur] aspect maintains blue flavor, the recur aspect maintains black flavor, and the direct damage effect maintains red flavor.

Pretty damn amazing win condition for a Ubr Control deck, but not too overpowered or broken, IMO. Pretty hard to deal with though. Pithing Needle, Engineered Plague, and Extirpate are great answers, but Relic/Crypt seem lackluster because of in-response drawing with Brainstorm and Top.

It opens up alot of interesting interactions, though, like double Top, Dark Confidant, and even Entomb in decks that either don't splash red, or run other Entomb targets.

Quote:

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@ Hanni:
The existence of perhaps too powerfull cards doesnt validate the creation of cards which are too powerful as well; if this would be the case soon we would be playing only card post-[certain set]. The cards you designed do not only seem overpowered; they are overpowered. Perhaps they are not better than tarmogoyf, but they are such a distance above the vast majority of creatures/spells that they should not printed. So no 4/1 haste for 2CC, a 3CC mass sweeper or an equipment which comes online turn 2 and has devastating effects on many creatures (imagine it on a goyf or a nacatl) or even your black mamba.

We better solve the 'goyf problem' by printing niche-cards like relic or something like Clanhome of Hans (1st post) then creating other cards that outclass 99% of the format.

I agree with the people in this post saying that white is underpowered atm. Despite control cards like wog, humility and elspeth I always like to see white play the aggresive role. Therefore I would love to see this card printed to aid white weenie:

You'll never walk alone
Enchantment 2W

Creatures can't block alone
Creatures can't attack alone

Furthemore I would love to see a Soldier Matron and a Daru War Marshall (analogue to goblin guys) to reinforce soldier tribal.

---

I'm not basing more powerful cards being printed solely off of Tarmogoyf. Magic continually increases the power level of cards gradually as the years progress and more sets see print. Ironroot was a 4G 3/5, Grizzly Bears was a 1G 2/2, now we have a 1G 4/5 (on average). Of course this is applied directly to Tarmogoyf, but tons of other cards continue the power creep as well.

These cards aren't something that needs to be printed in the very next set. Or the set after that. However, over time, and in relation to not only what we currently have, but what we may expect to have in future sets, I don't see all of these being out of the question. Some are clearly too strong, but that can always be fixed by toning down the card or increasing the manacost.

I don't really want to justify any specific card choices, but I'll briefly mention them I guess.

The 4/1 will only be good in fast aggressive decks that don't want to go past the midgame, because the card disadvantage is bad. Similar to Goblin Guide, Sligh will clearly play this guy, and likely as a replacement for Tarmogoyf. Goblins often wants to get later in the game, so I doubt he'd get replaced, especially when Piledriver seems stronger (and some people are even cutting him down). Zoo may play him, since he's alot stronger in Zoo than Goblin Guide. Burn would likely play him too, but at that point, they'd simply evolve into Sligh anyway. Otherwise, what other deck would run him? 1 toughness means he's purely an aggressive creature, and the card disadvantage is going to punish decks that can't end the game quickly.

I don't think the 4/1 is overpowered. Maybe right now it seems like a 1R 4/1 Haste with a drawback is on the same power level as a 1G 4/5 with no drawback, but I guaruntee that after future sets, he'll fit right along the power curve.

The 3cc sweeper is overpowered right now because of how I have it casted. It clearly needs to be UWB, so that it's not splashable in WB and UW decks. Being dedicated to UWB doesn't seem overly broken; keep in mind, that's only 1cc less than Wrath of God. Right now it may seem overpowered, but as sets continue to print more powerful creatures in the lower cc ranges (or lower cc with alternate costs), a less expensive (and keep in mind, restrictive) mass sweep doesn't seem overpowered.

The equipment spell can be manacosted differently, if you feel its too good. I was trying to compare it with Jitte while designing it. A fully pumped Nactal equipped with it only trades with it, whereas a Nacatl with a Jitte would survive and kill Goyf. However, probably costing 2 to cast and 1 to equip is likely the more fair cost, which was what I originally had it set to.

I don't see how Black Mamba is even remotely broken. Poison 3 means he needs 4 swings to kill the opponent, which makes him equivilant to a 5/1 for 1G. However, he lacks evasion, and his 1/1 body is complete crap against any form of removal or opposing creatures, unlike Tarmogoyf.

Regardless of any of this, people were posting some rediculously broken stuff already, so I figured I'd post some overpowered stuff myself. It's not like Wizards is going to actually print any of these, and I was having fun.

My favorite two so far:

Hanna's Embrace
1UW
Instant
Exile target nonland permanent. It's controller gains life equal to its converted mana cost.

Syrna, Mage of Destruction
UBR
Legendary Creature - Wraith Wizard
Shroud
Whenever you draw a card, if Syrna, Mage of Destruction is in your graveyard, you may return Syrna, Mage of Destruction to the battlefield.
Sacrifice Syrna, Mage of Destruction: Syrna, Mage of Destruction deals 1 damage to target creature or player.
0/1

Neither of those seem out of the question. Both are very powerful cards, and would see lots of play, but neither seem bannable, neither seem like they are going to see play in almost every deck, and neither compare to the power level of Tarmogoyf.

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U/b/r Control

Lands (18)
4 Polluted Delta
4 Scalding Tarn
3 Undeground Sea
2 Volcanic Island
1 Badlands
2 Island
1 Swamp
1 Mountain

Creatures (5)
4 Dark Confidant
1 Syrna, Mage of Destruction

Spells (37)
1 Entomb
4 Brainstorm
4 Ponder
4 Sensei's Divining Top
4 Counterbalance
3 Counterspell
4 Force of Will
4 Thoughtseize
4 Lightning Bolt
3 Terminate
2 Damnation

Sideboard (15)
4 Blue Elemental Blast
4 Duress
3 Firespout
4 Engineered Explosives

Something like that would be sexy.