Obligatory shitty card creation thread

Something for Storm to beat Chalice with that fits the colour pie and wouldn't ruin Standard:

Slag Eruption :1::r:
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact. If you do, add :r::r::r::r: to your mana pool.

This might be too good; it enables a lot of tricks with artifact lands, blowing up your own Chrome Moxes and Lotus Petals, etc.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by rufus

Do you mean two cards with the same name, or two or more pairs cards, each of which have the same name, or two or more disjoint pairs of cards, each of which have the same name, or is 'duplicate' going to be a new subtype, or something else?

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The intent was "two or more cards with the same name", but I went for a hail Mary and tried "duplicate". I hope Magic introduces duplicate into rule templating, as it would open some design space and shorten rules text.

We were joking around at the card-store yesterday and came up with this bad-boy.

:u:
Squire of Atlantis

When Squire of Atlantis enters the battlefield, all Merfolk get +1+0 until end of turn.

1/1

I'm still not sure why I find this so funny. Perhaps it's the use of the word squire.

Triggered ability that creates an effect that sticks around? (Maybe you meant to have "until end of turn"?)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by thefringthing

Triggered ability that creates an effect that sticks around? (Maybe you meant to have "until end of turn"?)

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lol oops! yes i did mean to have that :P

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Finn

I love the idea of giving trample to a direct damage spell. Elegant.

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Thanks, though like others have said it's really simple and I'm not the first person to come up with it, but I still liked it. Now for a couple crap cards you guys won't like :^)


Angel of Blight 1BBB
Creature - Angel
Lifelink
B symbols in cards you own are now PhyB
4/4

(the flavour reason for why it doesn't fly is because it's some kind of fallen angel or some crap)

Elesh Norn, Highest Authority 5WWW
Legendary Creature - Preator
Vigilance
At the beginning of each opponents upkeep, that player gains 3 Permission counters.
Spells and abilities your opponents control have an additional cost of sacrificing a Permission counter (including mana abilities).
3/8

Edit for more cards with a mechanic I thought was neat

Flame Seer 1RR
Creature - Human Shaman
Whenever you draw a card, if it's an instant or sorcery you may reveal it and imbue yourself with it. (You gain an emblem that's a copy of that card, you may cast the emblem as if it was that card in your hand. The emblem is exiled when it leaves the stack.)
2/2

Shamanistic Sight R
Sorcery
Look at the top 4 cards of your library and reveal an instant or sorcery from among them. Imbue yourself with the revealed card, then shuffle your library.

Some PWer 2RR
Planeswalker - Edgy cool jacetice league name
+1 At the beginning of your next upkeep, deal 2 damage to target creature or player
-2 Draw a card. If it's an instant or sorcery you may reveal it and imbue yourself with it.
-6 Draw until you have 7 cards in your hand. Reveal any number of instants and sorceries from your hand and imbue yourself with them.
3 starting loyalty

Flames of Defiance 1RR
Instant
Counter target blue or white spell. If it was an instant or sorcery, imbue it and you may spend mana of any colour to cast the emblem.

Trakehner :2::w::w:

Enchantment

Creatures without horsemanship cannot attack

Tally-Ho!

Divine Intervention :1: :w: :w:
Instant
If a player lost 7 or more life this turn, Divine Intervention cost :0:.
Return all spells to their owner's hand. End the turn.
Too much was already lost

Because fuck you Griselbrand. This with grizzly ability on the stack could be a decent counter to it.

Something in the vein:

Add Insult to Injury :r: :r: :r:
Instant
Return target non-land permanent to their owner's hand.
Add Insult to Injury cost one :r: less for each life your opponent lost this turn.

GG tomb decks, griselbrand, and even fetches to a lesser extent. Also a bolt make this free ez.

Mana inertia :1:
Artifact
Each spell cost :x: more to play, where X is the number of spells that spell's owner already played this turn.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gheizen64

Divine Intervention :1: :w: :w:
Instant
If a player lost 7 or more life this turn, Divine Intervention cost :0:.
Return all spells to their owner's hand. End the turn.
Too much was already lost

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Let four copies of Tendrils resolve and counter the rest?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gheizen64

Divine Intervention :1: :w: :w:
Add Insult to Injury :r: :r: :r:

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Cool, maybe you could add the clause "if you control a plains/mountain" to prevent use in improper colors. Also find another name, Divine Intervention has already been used.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gheizen64

Mana inertia :1:
Artifact
Each spell cost :x: more to play, where X is the number of spells that spell's owner already played this turn.

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Love it. Maybe Lemnear will not agree;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by thefringthing

Something for Storm to beat Chalice with that fits the colour pie and wouldn't ruin Standard:

Slag Eruption :1::r:
Sorcery
Destroy target artifact. If you do, add :r::r::r::r: to your mana pool.

This might be too good; it enables a lot of tricks with artifact lands, blowing up your own Chrome Moxes and Lotus Petals, etc.

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I still like the idea of this card. 2 for 1-ing yourself for 4/5 mana seems fine. Seething Song is a card after all. So is Culling the Weak

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Crimhead

Trakehner :2::w::w:

Enchantment

Creatures without horsemanship cannot attack

Tally-Ho!

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LOL! Horsemanship, that's something you don't read often. I would make it :2::r::r:, though

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Morte

Cool, maybe you could add the clause "if you control a plains/mountain" to prevent use in improper colors. Also find another name, Divine Intervention has already been used.

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The idea for the card is that they are defenses against T1 stupidity like ritual->entomb->reanimate grizzly, or T1 tendril (much rarer admittely).

Maybe 3 or more cards ended in the graveyard from anywhere could be a better alternate trigger (is deece vs belcher/oops/balustrade/reanimator/storm, may have additional utility vs fetches/cantrips).

Something like this?

Pire Burn :r: :r:
Instant
Deal 3 damage to target player.
Pire burn cost r less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Pay respects :w: :w:
Instant
Players can't play spell this turn.
Pay respects cost :w: less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Grow from the mud :g: :g:
Instant
Search your library for a basic land, reveal it, then add it to your hand.
Grow from the mud cost :g: less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Grave Misstep :u: :u:
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pay 1.
Grave Misstep cost :u: less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Effects are pretty basic here, but i think a reducing cost mechanic like this would be really good in and for legacy. It's really good vs T1 derp decks that tend to put tons of cards in their graveyard and vs fetches-> cantrip (less so vs BS because it's instant and balanced). Still not really good vs SnT (what a dumb dumb card).

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Gheizen64

The idea for the card is that they are defenses against T1 stupidity like ritual->entomb->reanimate grizzly, or T1 tendril (much rarer admittely).

Maybe 3 or more cards ended in the graveyard from anywhere could be a better alternate trigger (is deece vs belcher/oops/balustrade/reanimator/storm, may have additional utility vs fetches/cantrips).

Something like this?

Pire Burn
Instant
Deal 3 damage to target player.
Pire burn cost r less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Pay respects
Instant
Players can't play spell this turn.
Pay respects cost :w: less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Grow from the mud
Instant
Search your library for a basic land, reveal it, then add it to your hand.
Grow from the mud cost :g: less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Grave Misstep
Instant
Counter target spell unless its controller pay 1.
Grave Misstep cost :u: less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Effects are pretty basic here, but i think a reducing cost mechanic like this would be really good in and for legacy. It's really good vs T1 derp decks that tend to put tons of cards in their graveyard and vs fetches-> cantrip (less so vs BS because it's instant and balanced). Still not really good vs SnT (what a dumb dumb card).

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Like both set of cards, but agree with Morte that the spells should have "landhome". Keeps the flavor pure, and easy to splash for if so desired by means of dual lands.

Missed the black spell, from your template

Knock Off :b: :b:
Target player sacrifices a creature.
Knock Off cost :b: less for each card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ahg113

Like both set of cards, but agree with Morte that the spells should have "landhome". Keeps the flavor pure, and easy to splash for if so desired by means of dual lands.

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Just include a clause like "if you control -landtype- or reveal a -landtype- from your hand, spell cost -color- less to cast".
Spell can still be free turn 1 on the draw, but also afterwards. Might punish only having fetches for lands, but that's a fine balance.
But "card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn" sounds bad and isn't a good evergreen. Stick to the unique triggers for each color.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by PirateKing

Just include a clause like "if you control -landtype- or reveal a -landtype- from your hand, spell cost -color- less to cast".
Spell can still be free turn 1 on the draw, but also afterwards. Might punish only having fetches for lands, but that's a fine balance.
But "card that ended in your opponent's graveyard this turn" sounds bad and isn't a good evergreen. Stick to the unique triggers for each color.

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The mechanic already half exists. Bitter Ordeal gravestorm!

Some cards to help underrepresented color combinations:

Cleansing Fire WR
Instant
Deal 3 damage to target creature or player, then exile up to three card from target graveyard.

Fire Lancer R
Creature - Elemental Soldier
As long as you control a plain, Fire Lancer get +1+0 and first strike.
R: fire lancer fight target creature.
1/1

Loyal Squire WR
Creature - Human Squire
When Loyal Squire ETB, search your library for a soldier or knight card, reveal it, and add it to your hand.
1/2

EDIT: WR should be the best color for token generation nowadays right? Since R is the secondary token producer behind white. So maybe:

Following the Caravan 1W
Sorcery
Create 2 1/1 human soldier tokens.
If you spent R to cast ~, create a 1/1 goblin token as well.

Nyxian Moonstone :1:
Enchantment artifact
Indestructible
T: Add one mana of any colour to your mana pool. Spend this mana only to cast an enchantment spell.

Cruel Supplication :b::r:
Sorcery
Escalate - Pay 3 life (Pay this cost for each mode chosen beyond the first.)
Choose one or more:
• Target player sacrifices a creature
• Target player sacrifices an artifact

I can't find the obligatory awesome card creation thread, so this will have to do.

Leyline of the Gatewatch :w::u::b::r::g:

Enchantment

If Leyline of the Gatewatch is in your opening hand, you may begin the game with it on the battlefield.
As Leyline of the Gatewatch enters the battlefield, you may search all players' hands, libraries, and graveyards for any number of Eldrazi cards and exile them. For each card exiled this way, its owner loses 20 life.

From the RoboRosewater Twitter account:

https://i.imgur.com/eRWM8sP.jpg

Wormcat Basilisk :2: :b:
Creature - Wall
Defender, flying
Whenever you cast a noncreature spell, you may search your library for a card, shuffle your library, and put that card on top of it.
1/3