I'm a Juggernaut -> Drop -> @ SCG Atlanta with M0AT_ST0MPY

So I played the Starcity SCG legacy this weekend in Atlanta. I was 50/50 about playing or doing superbowl stuff ... but I figure I'd play something with high risk, high reward and have fun with it. It's not often you get to play $1,200 worth of the same white enchantment.

I start the day off by heading over to diversify my Armageddons with 2 x Ravages of War. SCG has only japanese ones and wants $200 for them. Even though the case says, $150, 180, 200. $200 being a fair price for english ones. So that kind of pisses me off and only makes me want to bath in the misery and tears of my opponents even more.

Now. I don't consider myself to be very practiced at MTG anymore. I played quite a bit when I was younger, but I basically play once maybe twice a week now and don't take the game too seriously anymore. I still like to win though and I prefer to win with something I've made and not what some unbathed douche wrote about on the internet on a card store site to sell more Show and Tells.

Here's what I played:

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-r...25282%2529.jpg

https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-a...25282%2529.jpg

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-p...25282%2529.jpg

Moat stompy. It's a chalice deck with 4 moats, a bunch of white fliers, and taxings effects. Most notably this card:

http://magiccards.info/scans/en/rav/31.jpg

Again, I'm not terribly good at magic. But I understand what a fucking activated ability is. I can tell you from Sunday that 6 out of 8 legacy players don't.

Also, yes that's a misers Baneslayer ... I couldn't decide between 4 Mincensors or 4 O-rings and I ended up splitting when I saw a good bit of internet show and tell and tucked the other 2 rings in the board.

Round 1: Guy on whatever won the last GP. So this match was pretty close all along, I was able to resolve most of my spells including Chalice 1, and (multiple) suppression field(s) in all three games. I believe he got the first, though he got a warning for trying to activate a fetch without paying 2. Game 2 I get all my lock pieces out and 2 fields and win with multiple angels. Game 3 we are a little tight on time having so many judge calls, getting the text for the same card multiple times etc.. I have pretty good board position, a moat, windborn, resoration angel and I'm sandbagging a couple of angels in case he supreme verdicts. But he twice doesn't pay Windborn Muse mana when he attacks (making the same error twice, on the same card, in the same game). So that's his 3rd GRV and he gets a game loss. Needless to say his vagina was pretty salty. I pointed out that its an eternal format, and knowledge of the card pool and how cards work is part of winning and losing. He mocks my chinese cards, throws a dip in and goes on his way.

1-0 (edit: I'm a Phantom Tiger)

Round 2: Nice Junk Guy who top decked 3 lands and cast KotR. First game I remember getting my threat STPed but being able to geddon with chrome mox and a flagstones and him on 4 lands with no threat and me with Trinisphere out. Pretty much a win. Not so much, he goes land, land, land KOTR punch your groin. I draw 2 more trinispheres and an ancient tomb. He also got a warning for fetching with Suppression Field out and not paying. Game two I get early chalice to stop discard, a moat and double angel. By the time he digs out it's too late and abrupt decay doesn't kill 4 mana ghostly prisons, or 6 mana 4/5 lifelinkers. Game three I thought I had him behind but couldn't draw Cataclysm or Geddon to lock him. He kept playing out his lands and I was wondering why in the world he'd do that vs. an Armageddon deck. But he had also run a GSZ for 0 into a chalice on 1 and an IoK into a chalice on 1 (building storm maybe?). Turns out he was going to GSZ a fucking Sigarda out and beat the unholy shit out of me with her. Which he did. Pretty humiliating to die to another decks angel. :rolleyes:

1-1 (I'm a Raging Goblin)

Round 3: Round 3 - Goblin Guy. Game one went like this

https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/-m...25282%2529.jpg

Game two I didn't slam one of my four moats but did slam a turn one morph, turn two exalted angel, turn 3 windborn muse, turn 4 armageddon. He also got a warning for fetching with Suppression Field out. Despite me saying, 'If you have any questions about how this card interacts with your lands you should call a judge'. I would repeat this constantly ... and people would still fucking run into it like a Kardashian on a rapper.

2-1 (I'm a Lynx)

Round 4: Guy who occasionally plays at SG on RU Delver - Game one is super tight, he wins the roll, gets a guide and a natural flipped delver. Eventually I'm able to lock him up with armageddon and he is only drawing fetch lands (I have fields out). Of course ... he got a warning for fetching without paying as well. He gets me all the way down to one life ...but I have chalice one out. A blocker. A Trinisphere. A Field. After I geddon I consider playing land but I think his only out is like land, land, land price you. So I just wait and play plains o-ring his delver and beat him from 20 down to zero with angels. Game 2 he gets the play again and burns me out pretty quick, dazing anything I play that matters. Game 3 I get chalice 1 and he just can't deal. Turns out he had no artifact removal at all. Baneslayer beheads him.

3-1 (6 opponent GRVs) (I'm a Porcelain Legionnaire)

Round 5: MUD Welder - Game one he's on the play and has the nut draw. Turn one trinisphere. Only problem is ... I'm playing a deck that also wants a fast 3ball. 2 turns later I have an angel and suppression fields and a chalice on 1 for any welders he might draw, his lodestone comes way too late. He also reads suppression fields oracle text and then puts his mox opal off to the side like it has herpes. :eyebrow: Game two he gets a decent start and eventually I get muse to hold off his stuff. Suppression field is out and he has tomb, tomb and tapped monolith. He looks at his monolith and the 2 tombs and I immediately think 7. Spine. SPINEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE !!!!!

http://www.healthcentral.com/common/...116_6192_5.jpg

I love me some fucking Spine of Ish-Shah. So he passes the turn and I swing in with Mindcensor and Resto. Putting him to 8. He taps both ancient tombs. And I say, 'I have you at 4?' he agrees. He then grabs his tapped grim monolith and I kind of give him the 'you done fucked up' look. He realizes monolith costs 6 to untap under

http://images.cheezburger.com/comple...d846beb9be.jpg

Turns out he had spine for my ass but indeed made an error.

4-1 (6 opponent GRVs) (I'm a Keldon Vandal)

I'm feeling pretty decent right now and I've played a couple of bad match ups.

Round 6: Merfolk guy who actually knew how magic cards worked. He wins the die roll and wins game one on the play. I win game 2 on the play, He wins game 3 on the play. Whoever was on the play was going to win these games. Though I will say in three games I put neither a Moat or a Cataclysm on the stack. It turned out he actually had no flyers or bounce and was stone fucking cold dead as Micheal Jackson to Moat. It was refreshing to play against somebody who knew what

4-2 (I'm a Fallen Cleric)

Round 7: BUG Socially awkward penguin. This round starts with a bizarre scene. We're at the end of a table and I sit down and the pair to my left is sitting down. My opponent shows up and begins a strange incoherent rant about how he's friends with the guy sitting to my left and doesn't want to reveal to this friends any cards that said friends opponent might have in his hand to him. Which I read as, 'I'm going to cheat in conjunction with my friend if I sit on this side of the table'. So I happen to know the 4th player in this bizarre situation and he points out, 'I'm friends with your opponent as well' at which point BSAP yells 'Judge!'. So now I'm like WTF is this fucking fruitball up to. In the end the judges are as confused as I am and I finally volunteer to switch seats to thus not tempt BSAP to cheat (I guess? I have no fucking idea). The actual match was much less exciting than the attempted psyche out. Game one I resolve chalice on 1 and crush with threats he can't deal with. Game 2 he gets a couple of delvers, I'm unable to land a chalice or find a suppression field. White leyline kept my hand safe, but I was short threats. Game three I'm back on the play so out goes white leyline. I'm able to land Chalice 1 (and eventually a second in case of decay), he dies to resto angel with like 7 1 mana spells in hand when I O-ring a tombstalker.

5-2 (I'm Eron the Relentless!)

Tired. No top 8. Oh well. I think I'll head home ... what's this ... feature match, sweet! I'm in.

Round 8: Guy with sweet beta volcanics and internet RUG delver. I actually win the roll and land chalice one off an ancient tomb. Which should win like 96% of all RUG delver matches. But he gets double wasteland, double tarmogoyf and I draw like no mana. He finally starts Mind Rotting himself to grow goyf and kills me after I find no mana in 7 turns. Game two again I open on an early trinisphere. Which should also crush delver. I eventually pass turn with him having land, land fetch and (i think) me with field. He goes to eot fetch and I flash mindcensor in. So of course of the SIX remaining lands in his whole deck he finds a volcanic in the top 4 ... he then goes infinite with loam / wasteland. Grudges my mox, etc. I could have played an unimpeded Rest in peace or a morphed Angel. I choose to deploy the threat. Maybe the rest in peace would have been better since it turned out he couldn't remove it. Anyway he also got a warning for running a mongoose out for 1 with a trinisphere out.

5-3 (7 opponent GRVs) (I'm a Juggernaut)

I dropped to rest and drink water and pop ibuprofen rather then slog through another round for $50.

Props:

- Judges for siding with me on every single ruling
- Suppression Field for shitting in everyones cereal
- phazmanout for putting the kinder von korlis to better use than anti-storm sideboard cards for cavern of humans
- georgia tech for once again dominating these atlanta opens

Slops:

- Round 1 opponent, for being mad at me because he didn't know how magic cards worked
- Round 7 guy, for whatever he was trying to do at the start of the match
- Moat, for not being there when I needed you
- Gwinician Center, for banning food and drink but not selling fucking coffee
- To the bead convention going on next door, for not having anal beads (I asked?)

This report is fucking excellent. I've never laughed so hard at a children's card game.

Were you on camera? I couldn't find your match in the video archive.

One of the best reports I have ever read, and If I can manage to save up the ridiculous amount of money I would need to build this pile of cardboard, I want to make this deck.

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Originally Posted by phazonmuant

Were you on camera? I couldn't find your match in the video archive.

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Would you put me on camera? I looked like fucking Rorschach with my black eyes.

Too bad. Do you know how many Moats you pinned under Chrommox?

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Originally Posted by phazonmuant

Too bad. Do you know how many Moats you pinned under Chrommox?

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At least 3. One opponent said, 'You don't see that every day.' ... perhaps I'll keep this deck together for Wednesday in case someone wants to give it a rip. I'll play something with flyers .... or maybe combo.

Excellent report. From the matches I watched and my experiences with various chalice decks, 20 lands and 4 moxes might be a bit low. I played 20 in Dragon Stompy with spirit guides moxes & seething song, 26 and 4 mox diamonds in Armageddon Stax, and 20 in Faerie Stompy with actual card draw (SoFI and mull drifter).

I think you want to be right around 22 lands for something like this, possibly horizon canopy so you can convert them to cards going long.

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Originally Posted by nedleeds

Would you put me on camera? I looked like fucking Rorschach with my black eyes.

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Irrelevant. I wish they would have put you on camera, if only for the LOLs. I think the camera feature that round was Stoneblade v. Elves and Elves mulliganed a billion times.

Great report, loved reading all the Suppression Field fails by your opponents.

Sir you are my hero!

I wonder who's the Round 1 "Guy on whatever won the last GP. ":laugh:.

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I prefer to win with something I've made and not what some unbathed douche wrote about on the internet on a card store site to sell more Show and Tells.

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http://www.thehendonmob.com/media/Im...ike_button.gif

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Originally Posted by rnightingale

Sir you are my hero!

I wonder who's the Round 1 "Guy on whatever won the last GP. ":laugh:.

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According to the pairings, it was Drew Volf. His vagina was very sandy after getting game-lossed round 1.

Excellent report.

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Originally Posted by phazonmuant

According to the pairings, it was Drew Volf. His vagina was very sandy after getting game-lossed round 1.

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Suppression Field is amazing for Game-Lossing your opponents. As is 3Sphere.

You sir... are a god.

Great Wall Plains in a mostly Chinese deck. Hilarious.

You sir, troll like no other.

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Originally Posted by alphastryk

Excellent report. From the matches I watched and my experiences with various chalice decks, 20 lands and 4 moxes might be a bit low. I played 20 in Dragon Stompy with spirit guides moxes & seething song, 26 and 4 mox diamonds in Armageddon Stax, and 20 in Faerie Stompy with actual card draw (SoFI and mull drifter).

I think you want to be right around 22 lands for something like this, possibly horizon canopy so you can convert them to cards going long.

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Yes I was definitely a greedy mofo. The full 4 Flagstones would have been a better call as well. Karakas and a Field don't work great together anyway and Karakas is 70% for show decks 30% for bouncing Gaddock Teeg.

Chalice decks are rarely going to win any 9 round tourney because they eventually get bad hands, or wastelandable keeps. I think my RUG match was a classic example of that. You don't have all the crutch cards like Brainstorm, Ponder and Top to smooth out mediocre hands and eventually it catches up to you. The trade off is of course that landing a chalice / 3ball means going in dry on the decks that do rely on said crutch cards.

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Originally Posted by whienot

Great Wall Plains in a mostly Chinese deck. Hilarious.

You sir, troll like no other.

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The great wall kept out the mouth breathing mongolian hordes. That and it kind of looks like a moat. I need 2 more S-Chinese EAs. Or 3 T-Chinese to get them matching. Chrommox is not debatable. I'm on the hunt for 2 chinese Ravages of War as well that will look cool and provide a nice boost in value.

Love the China plains and all the T-Chinese goodies.

Player induced GRV are hilarious. For clarity, did your opponents begin to search their deck and you had to stop their shenaniganzing?

Howdy,

Great report. At 1-0 you could be People of the Woods or Phantom Tiger.

Cheers,
trying to help

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Originally Posted by Koby

Player induced GRV are hilarious. For clarity, did your opponents begin to search their deck and you had to stop their shenaniganzing?

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It was normally, a payment of one life and an in the yard fetch .... I'd awkwardly stare for a brief moment then when they'd move to pick up their library and I would stop them before they could get too far.

Some people take it poorly ... others understand it's their mistake. My main point to anyone getting sandy was, that if we aren't going to take things like

- knowing the board state (e.g. before doing something looking at all the things in play, the cards in each others hands)

- knowing what cards do (chalice of the void, cost of morph on the stack, how trinisphere works, etc.)

- knowing how the rules of the game work (e.g. cost vs. effect, activated abilities, knowing morph is a special action that doesn't use the stack)

then why even have competitive Magic?

People would just stumble through and play their powerful cards and get bailed out and all that would differentiate players would be access to cards, matchup and randomness.

So you play once or twice a week and you don't consider yourself "well practiced" anymore? Damn. I played about once a week on average at the height of my playtime. Now I average once every couple of months.... kids do that I guess.

I'm also curious on all the GRVs. So you'd call a judge on them before they would begin searching (in the fetchland case)? That's fair and all, but I guess I'm too nice of a guy to pull the trigger until they've passed the point of no return (like, started to look for a land in that case).

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Originally Posted by nedleeds

At least 3. One opponent said, 'You don't see that every day.' ... perhaps I'll keep this deck together for Wednesday in case someone wants to give it a rip. I'll play something with flyers .... or maybe combo.

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I would love to, but sadly I am going to Ravens Nest to play 4 Stone Rains, 4 Molten Rains, and Plow Unders and see how many people I can get to rage quit by Deusing on their face.

Not a bad finish, very nice report and hella funny. Loving the deck.

Awesome report! I haven't laughed like this in a while. Amazing job!

Love the report. Seriously RTFC idiots who don't read opponents cards if they don't know what they do. I think I've accidentally cheated once in regards to that (attempting to cycle multiple gitaxian probes through a chalice@1. People not knowing what trinisphere does amaze me. Suppression field I can kind of understand however although people are pretty dumb when it comes to ruling. Activated abilities are so easy to understand, at least to me. Does it have the format Cost: Do something? Then it's an activated ability. Your deathrite shaman is now a norwood ranger.

Seriously though, great report. I enjoyed it a lot.

Awesome report. God damn, I love suppression field.

I have no money to afford Moat but damn I wish I could! Nice report.

Fucking great report.

Feld der Unterdrackung is pretty fucking amazing, but I believe the deck needs more Gotterdammerung. Twilight of the mother fucking Gods. Vagner. What more could you want?

http://magiccards.info/scans/de/po/167.jpg

-Matt

Haha, that was absolutely hilarious, loved it. I really love this game, but those encounters with random sociopaths in tournaments still amuse me. Ok actually I hate them but it is just not worth the fuss.

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Originally Posted by Megadeus

I would love to, but sadly I am going to Ravens Nest to play 4 Stone Rains, 4 Molten Rains, and Plow Unders and see how many people I can get to rage quit by Deusing on their face.

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Fulminator Mage. The Stone Rain with Wheels (tm).

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Originally Posted by sdematt

Fucking great report.

Feld der Unterdrackung is pretty fucking amazing, but I believe the deck needs more Gotterdammerung. Twilight of the mother fucking Gods. Vagner. What more could you want?

<snip> god like Armageddon </snip>

-Matt

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God damn. Yeah I may need to scour the Euros for a set of those. I bet some peace loving German magic player would love some hot korean ones for a set of godfuckingdamnits.

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Originally Posted by nedleeds

I still like to win though and I prefer to win with something I've made and not what some unbathed douche wrote about on the internet on a card store site to sell more Show and Tells.

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That was a pick at Durward's Dream halls article wasn't it (NICE JOB lol).

Really nice report here, and you now inspired me to turn my deck into Foreign language (preference to german, as people, by experience, tend to take a japanese card and not read it when they see the writtings, when they will actually try to read a german card and find out that they don't understand anything lol)

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Originally Posted by ThediscoPower

That was a pick at Durward's Dream halls article wasn't it (NICE JOB lol).

Really nice report here, and you now inspired me to turn my deck into Foreign language (preference to german, as people, by experience, tend to take a japanese card and not read it when they see the writtings, when they will actually try to read a german card and find out that they don't understand anything lol)

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Oh yes, people attempt to read my german cards all the time. Sometimes even twice before they realize. It's the best.

I had a guy do it with Korean Before... And then one time a Guy looked at my Japanese Tendrils of Agony and then read it out... I was like.. Oh you speak it... Cool lol

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Originally Posted by alphastryk

Oh yes, people attempt to read my german cards all the time. Sometimes even twice before they realize. It's the best.

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My favorite German card is Umezawa's Jitte. Mostly because in German it's ... Umezawa's Jitte. So it takes them minimum 3 tries to realize they don't have spot dyslexia.

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Originally Posted by nedleeds

My favorite German card is Umezawa's Jitte. Mostly because in German it's ... Umezawa's Jitte. So it takes them minimum 3 tries to realize they don't have spot dyslexia.

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oh god... this is going to be my first aquisition for sure now lol!!

Anyone has one for trade now? lol

<double post>

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Originally Posted by nedleeds

My favorite German card is Umezawa's Jitte. Mostly because in German it's ... Umezawa's Jitte. So it takes them minimum 3 tries to realize they don't have spot dyslexia.

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Yes, those are the best. A least two players attempted to read my Vendilion-Clique.

Fantastic report. One of my Abysses is Italian and wouldn't you know it I seem to draw that one more often than the English ones.

I'm reminded of the time I was playing a pimped out Lands deck at an SCG and I was running Worm Harvest. It was foil Japanese. In one game it's late game and my yard is full of My opponent has Jace TMS out, sculpts me and finds that card. Looks at me. Looks at the card. Looks at me and says "I have no idea what that card is. I can't read Japanese." I tell him to call a judge. A judge I've worked with many times comes over looks at the card and says "Oh, I know that card. It's..." I wave my hands in the air shouting "No! No! Don't tell me! He is mindscupting me! I'm not supposed to know!" But I already totally knew what it was. The judge and my opponent walk away, the judge explains what the card does just out of my earshot, and my opponent comes back and says "Oh yeah, that thing is going on bottom!"