Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[einhorn303]

What are some potential cards you'd like to see printed, purely by how they'd interact with old cards in Eternal formats?

For example, I wish WotC made a ridiculously huge, swingy Minotaur with a strong Sundering Titan or Nicol Bolas type ability that costs 8 or 9 CMC, just to make Digeridoo better.

Also, a land like:

Clanhome of Hans
Legendary Land
T: Add W to your mana pool.
T: Exile target Lhurgoyf.

[Humphrey]

Moxo Fizzle

Blue
Instant - Trap MR
Counter target Artifact Spell with CC1 or less.
"Its mythic because we need money"

[Float4WeldSlaver]

Aether Tether 2
Artifact
Permanents cannot be returned to their owner's hands.

I hate that no matter what hate you lay down, combo and/or control decks can just bounce it at your endstep and win next turn. This mostly applies to vintage.

[Nidd]

B.C.E.P.
CC1
Artifact Creature
B.C.E.P. can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.
Flying, Firststrike, Lifelink, Trample
5/6



This way, every deck has access to a broken creature.

[DownSyndromeKarl]

Enchantress' Citadel

Enchantment
Can't be countered. Shroud. Whenever a spell you play is countered, you may either gain 5 life or draw a card.

[Humphrey]

B.C.E.P.
CC1
Artifact Creature
B.C.E.P. can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.
Flying, Firststrike, Lifelink, Trample
5/6



This way, every deck has access to a broken creature.

maybe 2020

Id prefer:

Hyperclone

Artifact Creature
You may have Hyperclone enter the battlefield as a copy of any creature on the battlefield.
0/0

[SilverGreen]

Amber Elemental 1G
Creature - Elemental
Amber Elemental can't be countered. (or Flash)
As Amber Elemental enters the battlefield, choose a color. Amber Elemental has protection from the chosen color.
2/1

Nacre Elemental 1W
Creature - Elemental
If an effect controlled by an opponente causes you to discard Nacre Elemental, return it from your graveyard to your hand.
As Nacre Elemental enters the battlefield, choose a card type. Nacre Elemental has protection from the chosen type.
2/1

[Aggro_zombies]

EDIT: Actually, it's supposed to say "your graveyard." Playing your opponent's dead Goyfs would be pretty sweet, though.

[Digital Devil]

Keeper of Secrets ----
Creature - Human Advisor
, discard a Plains card: Draw a card.
"The land listens to all of our secrets, but only the enlightened can listen to those of the land itself"
2/2

[Phoenix Ignition]

Clanhome of Hans
Legendary Land
T: Add W to your mana pool.
T: Exile target Lhurgoyf.

You know legacy has a degenerate card when the first thing I think of when I see this is "Holy shit, that card would be expensive!"

[sunshine]

Miser's Mox 1
As you play Miser's Mox you may choose and discard a card, if you do Miser's Mox comes costs one less to play.
T: Add 1 to your mana pool, if you payed at least one mana to play Miser's Mox then add one mana of any color to your pool instead.

[TheInfamousBearAssassin]

[Atwa]

I am longing for a card like this:

Simplify (2)
Artifact
Counter all triggered abilities

[dahcmai]

I'd be ecstatic for these.


W
Creature - something
Shroud
You can't be the target of spells or abilities.
0/1

Or

G
Creature - Frog
"This" can't be the target of spells your opponent controls
3/1


Or

I made this one a long time ago.


Spreading the Disease
B
Sorcery
You may search your library for two identical lands and put them in your hand. Sacrifice a land.

[TheInfamousBearAssassin]

I am longing for a card like this:

Simplify (2)
Artifact
Counter all triggered abilities

Wouldn't that have to be worded as a triggered ability itself?



Amber Mox
0
Artifact
T: Add 1 to your mana pool. Spend this mana only on colorless spells and abilities.

[Aggro_zombies]

Wouldn't that have to be worded as a triggered ability itself?

"Triggered abilities don't trigger."

or

"Whenever a triggered ability of a permanent other than ~ triggers, counter that ability."

[Barook]

Blue's Bane
Creature - Elf Warrior
Blue's Bane can't be countered.
Double Strike
Whenever a player counters a spell or an ability, Blue's Bane deals 2 damage to that player.
1/2

[Otter]

G
Creature - Frog
"This" can't be the target of spells your opponent controls
3/1

Oh god yes, Berserk Stompy wants!

Newchantress - GG
Enchantment
Whenever you play an enchantment spell, Scry 3.

[Digital Devil]

I am longing for a card like this:

Simplify (2)
Artifact
Counter all triggered abilities

There's already a card named "Simplify"

[DragoFireheart]

Counter Magic
0
Instant

Counter Magic is blue

Counter target spell. You lose 2 life.