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Thread: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

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    Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Warning: there is mention of bodily functions in this report, as suggested in the title. Everybody poops, but not everybody wants to read about it. You have been warned.

    After a three hour drive and a rough night of sleep our luckless heroes found themselves in a strip mall parking lot with the Saturday sun beating down on their pasty necks. We had just ordered our THBs (Turkey, Havarti, Bacon) from the Flavour Spot on Lombard and I was feeling it ó the pre-tournament gut rumbles. This is a familiar feeling and I am used to dealing with it but right here in Portland, far from my home base of Seattle, and right now, as our crew of nerds anxiously waits for their delicious waffle thingies to be made, the gut rumbles were most unwelcome. And to add to my discomfort, there was a pair of lesbians also awaiting delivery of their waffle tacos (insert easy pun here) and lemme tell you ó lesbians are a unique source of frustration for me. They are at once feminine enough to make you wanna give Ďem the bidniz and yet masculine enough to make you think they wouldnít mind playing League of Legends with you. I didnít need them there to confuse my brain when I was already dealing with a confused belly so I tried to ignore them as best I could. Luckily I made it through our morning meal without exploding into a million sexually-frustrated and gastrically-vexed pieces of chubby nerd boy.



    We arrived at the Oregon Convention Center without incident. If you arenít aware, Portland is home to a very unique and charming breed of Magical nerd, and when I saw a bunch of slightly dirty dudes with beards, backpacks, and swooshy haircuts, I knew we were at the right place. As soon as we got in, me and Pat (Junk player) made a beeline for the restrooms. Pat is a newer Legacy player and I felt it was my duty as an elder mage to teach him the ways of the greybeard wizards. One of the dark secrets of wizarding is the pre-tournament poo. It doesnít matter what deck you are rocking or what kind of sideboard tech you have. If you neglect the pre-tournament poo, your whole day could be ruined. And we took care of that in short order. And it was glorious. Me and Pat. Poo pals 4eva.



    I had an hour before the Legacy side event started (info here) so I decided to get in the insane Steve Argyle line. A friend who couldnít attend asked me to get some cards signed and I thought the side event would run long so this might be my only shot. After about 30 minutes in line and with the side event registration time fast approaching, I realized that I may need to scoop here and ditch the line. To get a feel for how long I might have to keep waiting, I asked a couple people ahead of me if they were going for full-on take-forever-alterations or just a simple signature. Tall nerd guy, ďJust a signatureĒ. Weird nerd girl, ďJust a signature...Ē And here is where I made my fatal misplay. I opened conversation with a nerd girl, who turned out to actually be an EDH girl, and that basically makes her a muggle. That is like tapping out in the mainphase in the control mirror. Deadly. She saw her opening and Force-checked me, ďWhat about you?Ē FUCK! I had no Force. Bro, I play Elves bro. She started talking about this and that and I tried desperately to be polite and keep my side of the conversation to one-word answers but I guess weird nerd chicks like that stuff and it took me a full ten minutes to maneuver the board state into a potentially winnable position for me. She basically had a Jace at 13 counters and was just staring me in my reluctant face. I thought I had an out that I could play to, but no. I didnít. I had played this longass round, almost to time, and I was going to have to scoop anyway. ďOoh, yeah. Thatís pretty cool...WELP, I gotta go. Bye!Ē Runaway and 0-2 drop from convo with the opposite sex.



    Register. Find bros. Chit-chat. Take leak. Pairings up. And now itís Magic Time!

    37 players. 7 rounds. Swiss+1 format.

    I was playing the same list I used to Top 8 SCG Seattle (big brags) with some small changes: -1 Regal Force, +1 Craterhoof Behemoth MD // -1 Abrupt Decay, -1 Duress, +2 Mindbreak Trap SB.

    Note - on 3 separate occasions I got value on people because they didnít know I had a Dryad Arbor/Creature in play. FTV Dryad Arbor >> Future Sight Dryad Arbor. Do it.

    Round 1
    Jeremy - High Tide

    Game 1

    He sits down and we make some small talk. He gives away that he is on High Tide, warning me that this might suck for me, and the guy in the match next to us fans us his hand full of stupid lands, Exploration, and Life from the Loam, and the two of them have a mini-brag-fest about how much fun it is to make people watch them slowly win. Now, to be fair, I play an annoying deck too. But I donít go around bragging about making people wait. So I resolve to make them both watch me tap green men for way too long to show them whatís up.

    He leads with some cantrips and I end my second (or third?) turn having barfed a buttload of elves on the table. Iím holding a Glimpse and have only played enough dudes to facilitate my Glimpse next turn. My position is good, but far from a guaranteed kill. He draws, plays his third land, and recognizes that he will probably die next turn. So he tries to go off with three lands which is definitely less than optimal for him. He gets to 9 storm but isnít able to put anything together and sighs before shipping the turn. I untap and shoot the Glimpse. It sticks and I do a bunch of tap, tap, draw, draw, tappy draw Green Sunís for 8, get you for a lot.

    Game 2
    I keep a grip with 2 Cabal Therapy and not much else. I believe he mulls to 5 looking for lands. I therapy all his good stuff away and itís fairly simple from there. He wasnít really in that game. Mulling to 5 is never fun for anybody.

    1-0

    Round 2

    David or Daniel. I canít tell. My handwriting sucks - Belcher

    Game 1
    I make an elf. He makes lots of stuff and finishes with a Charbelcher but no other permanents. I make another elf. He draws and passes. I make lots of elves + Craterhoof.

    Game 2
    I keep a decent hand with no hate. I was feeling a bit cocky because in my last few encounters with Belcher I have managed to lucksack my way into beating them even when they make a billion goblin tokens. Karma catches up to me here and he makes 16 goblins turn one on the play. I make a Heritage Druid, pass. He swings. I go to 4. I draw, tank, sadface, scoop.

    Game 3
    I mull to 6, keeping a meh hand with 1 Mindbreak Trap. Make mana elf, pass. He Land Grants, shows me stuff + Empty the Warrens, makes RR, then RG, then RG again, then RRR, then RRRR, then RRRRRR or something, then Burning wish for Empty the Warrens the second. Yeah, Two of those beats a Mindbreak Trap. I stop him and ask to confirm storm and mana. He has 8 storm, RRRR in pool. No relevant permanents and just 2x ETW in hand. Ok. This is okay. He casts it, I trap it. He smiles, clearly entertained by the intricate and difficult plays available to me as a Magical dueling wizard of this fine collectible hobby card game we all enjoy. From there I Hoof him without too much trouble.

    2-0

    Round 3

    Marc - Shardless BUG

    Game 1
    My notes show 19|18, W - Get em

    Game 2
    He has Hymns and Forces and rips up my hand. He plays apparently a million Shardless Agents into other things that beat me up like Tarmogoyfs. I was able to Decay one of those Goyfs to stem the bleeding but he just kept making more crazy stuff. I delayed my scoop phase because a couple of good draws might have been able to get me out of that situation, but after those draws came and showed me blanks, I picked up my cards.

    Game 3
    I was kicking myself for not scooping sooner since now I only had like 14 minutes to steal this last game. I led with Deathrite. He cantrips or something. My turn two, I go Quirion Ranger + Wirewood Symbiote at the same time, shortcutting because I assume he wouldnít bother countering those. Iím wrong. He Forces both, going to I think one card in hand with a single land in play. Iím super confused at this point. I pass. He draws, tanks, passes. I draw and I think I have three cards in hand to his two. But last turn I had two cards to his one, and he appeared to be confident that countering all my dudes was a good play. He must think his single card can beat two of my cards. So he must be holding a Goyf. And I guess he is just waiting on a land drop. And if Iím wrong, and he is holding blue card + FOW, well, then this Natural Order in my hand leaves him Hellbent against my two cards. I think I can draw better than him. Here we go. Natural Order, saccing Deathrite? Resolves. Instant, Sorcery, Creature, Land in GY. Goyf would be a 4/5. Hoof is a 5/5. Sounds good. Grab a Hoof. I didnít board in Prog for this match. Hoof swings for 5. Pass. He draws a land, makes a Goyf, pass. I draw another Deathrite, make that and HoofSwing. Pass. He draws, passes. I HoofSwing, Deathrite shock, and thatís enough to take the game.

    3-0

    Round 4
    Jordan A. - Bant

    Game 1
    Jordan is a good buddy and Seattle transplant who is in Portland for school. He is one of the major reasons our Seattle crew comes down to Portland, aside from the Magic tournaments, and itís super feelbad to get paired against him. He knows my deck and I know his deck. So when he leads with Hierarch into T2 V.Clique to see my hand, he knows I have kept a loose one. I thought being on the draw would help it out but that wasnít so. His V.Clique ships my most relevant spell and I draw a bunch of doodoo. I think he makes a GSZ into Gaddock Teeg at some point as well. Iím taking 4 in the air from an exalted faerie every turn and am not able to win through Teeg shutting down my sexy tutors. He also has Knights on defense and Wasteland duty.

    Game 2
    I keep an aggro hand with multiple Nettle Sentinels and start the beats. I get him down to 5 before he is able to drop a couple fatty Knights in my way. Then we draw-go for like 7 turns and he rips the Engineered Explosives and I couldnít come back from that. I think he also had a Gaddock Teeg on board to force me to win via fair combat which I could not do.

    3-1

    Round 5

    Ramses - Sligh/Burn/Red stuff

    Game 1
    I get to my seat early and await the arrival of Ramses the King. At the top table to my right sits Jordan A. from last round shuffling up against Joe Bono from greybeard wizarding hall of fame. Joe is on Sneak Attack and Iím not sure how that matchup goes but Iím more focused on who this Ramses person is. Thatís a cool name and Iím already intimidated.

    A minute later this small kid shows up with curly hair and wireframe glasses. He looks like a miniature Young Justice...SD Gundam version of Albert Einstein. And I mean that in the nicest way. He looked like some kid prodigy of magical cards. So I ask him straight up, ďHey, kid. Are you a prodigy? Am I dead already?Ē Clearly, Ramses has no time for my silly questions and just begins shuffling his deck without looking at me, only giving a knowing smile to show that he even heard me. Joe Bono intervenes, ďYes, he is a prodigy.Ē Well, just...fack.

    Ramses wins the roll and leads with Goblin Guide. And now Iím on tilt. I reveal Glimpse to the Guide and take 2 and immediately take my turn. Somewhere in that interaction I manage to draw Glimpse and then pick up the top card of my library, clearly catching that it was a Deathrite but never putting it into my hand.. I judgecall myself and explain and the judge just makes me shuffle up and continue. I do stuff and Ramses is able to get me to 9 before I put Hoof together. Generally, Burn/Sligh is about 1.5 turns slower than Elves but a well-timed Price of Progress can steal games if Iím not careful.

    Game 2
    He gets me to 7 with a Sulfuric Vortex in play but Iím able to Hoof him before I got within Fireblast range. The kid was very good, especially for his age, and he knew exactly what I was doing and what my deck was capable of. He followed along with my weird mana elf tappy tap interactions faster than most of my opponents and I was surprised by both his level of understanding and his calmness during the game. Iím a grownass man and Ramses was a little kid. But if we were measuring by maturity level and not age, Iím basically a bawling baby with a diaper full of poo and Ramses is a Congressman who juggles extramarital affairs with a wife who is fully aware of his affairs but tolerates them because his position of standing and power affords her a life of luxury she wouldnít otherwise have access to, and throwing a hissy fit about an affair here and there would leave Ramses the Congressman in the unemployment line along with his wife.

    4-1

    Intermission - during which our hero is assaulted by a mountain troll

    My match with King Ramses only took about 20 minutes so I had a solid 30+ minutes to do whatever. I figure this is as good a time as any to get a mid-tourney poo in. So I seek out the restroom farthest from the tourney hall to reduce the chance that Iíll have to do work in a heavily trafficked restroom. I find a real secluded glen (BAZINGA) of a restroom and, like any regular person walking into a deserted public restroom, I immediately seek out the big handicap stalls at the far end of the room. I find it and walk towards it while doing a bend-over-headcheck to see if there are any feet poking out.

    There are no feet.

    Thatís the good news. The bad news is there is an ocean of grody-ass poo all over the floor, stretching out from the handicap stall into the adjacent stall and just scattered everywhere. I can also hear the incoherent ramblings of an older gentleman whom I assume to be a drug addict, strung out on who knows what. Perhaps he is going through withdrawals or something. Now, at this point Iím genuinely scared but, like a runner approaching the finish line, my body has gotten more eager to complete its journey now that Iím within range of an actual toilet. So I say fuck it, put my hand on my folding knife, and take up the stall farthest from the poo junkie. I am legitimately scared but try to finish my business as fast as possible while keeping a spare hand on my backpack as it hangs on the door, just in case Mister Poo Junkie decides to steal it or something.

    Iím a few minutes in when I see, through the little gap in the stall doors, what looks to be Solomon, one of the younger kids in our crew. Similar to Ramses, heís just a kid of indeterminate age who enjoys Magic and is way better than I ever was at that age. I recognize him through the gap and silently pray that he doesnít have The Public Restroom Instinct ó that he stays as far away from that Poo Junkie stall as he can.

    I hear Solomon (whatís up with kids having awesome names these days?) walk towards the Poo Junkie stall and his footsteps slow to a halt. I donít necessarily want to yell out a warning, in case that makes the Poo Junkie aware of his surroundings. Maybe the Poo Junkie will seek out vengeance against the world on Poor Solomon? I donít know. So I just sit and pray. After a beat, I hear Solomonís footsteps turn around and he takes the stall next to me, the second farthest away from the Poo Junkie. Phew. I knew Solomon was a smart kid. I just had to have faith in him.

    I finish my business first but stay there, waiting for Solomon to finish. I wanted to make sure the Poo Junkie didnít eat him alive or something. So Solomon does his thing and, like a proper guardian angel, I let him leave without knowing that I just saved his life. Then I grab my backpack and head to the sink to wash up. There I see the Poo Junkie Troll. He is 6 feet tall with long, dark hair and a scraggly beard. All his clothes are dark with filth and he is mumbling to himself as he washes his hair in the sink. I felt like Harry Potter when he discovered the Mountain Troll in the restroom at Hogwarts. But Iím not a real wizard, as much as I like to pretend I am. Iím just a cardboard wizard, and unfortunately we cannot defeat real life trolls. So I wash my hands in the farthest sink and keep an eye on Poo Junkie Troll. He seems to be oblivious to the world around him and thatís fine by me. Leaving the restroom I was surprised to find a cop waiting outside. He asks, ďIs there anybody else in there?Ē My reply, ďOh. Oh yes there most certainly is.Ē And I left the cop to whatever ungodly work he had to do.

    When I got back to the tourney hall, I ran all over the place looking for Solomon. Eventually I found him and checked to see if he was still alive. I told him how I pretty much saved his life and congratulated him on being smart enough to not get eaten by the Poo Junkie Troll.

    I went back to the top tables to see how Jordan vs Joe was going. I was there to catch the tail-end of the match which Jordan won by casting his third Meddling Mage, after Joe REBíd the second. Jordan, my only loss, was now X-0. Joe was now X-1. Hey! Thatís my record too...

    Round 6
    Joe Bono - High Archmage - Sneak Attack

    Game 1
    After narrowly escaping a Mountain Troll, I was a bit disheartened to find that I now had to battle a High Archmage. The last time I played Joe Bono, we got paired round 1 and mid-game I had to get up and poo because I was so nervous. When I got back he calmly and politely destroyed me and went on to win the entire tournament. Needless to say, I was not comfortable. Also, this is not my favorite matchup, but if they are on a cantrip draw I can sometimes force a real play through their first counterspell and get some action going. It would appear that is was precisely what happened in this game. I canít tell you the exact plays but based on my notes it looked like I beat him in two attack steps after having something Forced.

    Game 2
    I canít really remember game 1 because this game 2 happened.

    I boarded in Gaddock Teeg, Harmonic Sliver, Karakas, 1 miserís Cabal Therapy, Progenitus and maybe the 4th Natural Order.

    I kept an average draw that had potential with multiple Nettle Sentinels and a Glimpse and Birchlore, but no hate. This is a speculative draw that could do all kinds of things or just fizzle. But Iím on the draw so itís not too bad.

    Joe leads with cantrip, pass. I go Nettle, pass. Joe goes second land drop, Lotus Petal, cantrip I think? Pass.

    I go second land, Glimpse? Resolves. Birchlore? Resolves. Tap two guys, Nettle, draw? Resolves. Etc. I canít really read him so I ask permission as I go. After the second Nettle I drew a Heritage and from there things went truly insane.

    I found a third Nettle and resolved a second Glimpse and then began shortcutting. A 1 drop netted me 2 cards and 2 mana so I did that for a while, drawing a ton of cards and going up to like 20G in pool. I Crop Rotated into Gaeaís Cradle and put out something like a million mana and hardcast a Craterhoof. I had enough elves in play to swing for lethal with just one Nettle + Hoof to attack with. Joe Forces it. Which is very interesting. I have a bunch of stuff in hand including 3 Green Sunís and 1 Crop Rotation. I find a Natural Order and play it. It resolves and Joe says ďShow me the second Craterhoof and you got it.Ē I pick up my deck and look through it, just relieved to make it past a powerful wizard like Joe. So Iím looking for the Craterhoof and canít find it on the first pass through. No problem. Iím just nervous. Letís look again. Still canít find it. I put everything down and pause the game to look at my sideboard and well lookee here. There sits the second Craterhoof. How adorable.

    So I let out an embarrassed laugh and show it to Joe. He is entertained by my silly misplay. I pick up my deck and choose my Natural Order target ó Elvish Visionary! Why Visionary? You will see in a moment. So I tank a little bit and try to get over my slight embarrassment. I now have 4 Nettle Sentinels in play along with a whole gamut of other Elves. I put my hand down on the table and tell Joe that something crazy is going to happen and I apologize in advance. I already have about 25G floating and a Birchlore Ranger in play. I tap my 4 Nettles for RR. Play GSZ for Harmonic Sliver, blow up Joeís Lotus Petal, untap Nettles. I tap 4 Nettles for UU. Play GSZ for green thing, untap Nettles. I tap Nettles for BB. Play Crop Rotation for Karakas, untap Nettles. I tap Nettles for WW. Play GSZ for Gaddock Teeg, untap Nettles. Then I *hardcast* the Progenitus already in my hand (thatís why I had to Natural Order for a Visionary) and move to the discard step of my second turn. I discard down to seven and end my turn with Gaeaís Cradle, Karakas (untapped), Progenitus, Harmonic Sliver, Gaddock Teeg, and 15 assorted elves in play. Yes. That is 20 permanents on turn two. It was disgusting. The turn two hardcast Progenitus is like the legendary Sasquatch of the Great Pacific Northwest ó some people donít believe itís real, but let me tell you, Iíve traveled deep into the dark woods and Iíve seen the great beast with my own two eyes.

    Joe draws and passes.

    I rip a Cabal Therapy off the top because why not? I tap Nettle x2 for B, cast it naming whatever. Joe shows me 2x Emrakul and something else. I cast Heritage Druid to untap Nettles for full value and swing with the most ungodly and unforgivable board I have ever assembled. Joe smiles and extends the hand. He is a true gentleman. I then move to my apologize step where I beg forgiveness for my sins but Joe is super unfazed by what just happened. It was actually his idea to stop and count how many permanents I had out on turn two. Iíll say again because it bears repeating, Joe Bono is truly a gentleman and very, very nice man. I canít say enough nice things about him. He is also a stone-faced master. I never got any information from him. It was terrifying.

    5-1

    Of course, immediately after our game I run off to tell all my friends about the insane thing I just did. Because a story like that demands to be told. So I ran around doing crazy jump kicks and frantically retelling the story like 10 times in the span of a half hour. Friends and acquaintances and strangers alike all heard, or overheard, the insane tale of the turn two hardcast Progenitus. I was going so wild telling the story that I kept breaking out into a sweat and had to run to the restroom to wipe my forehead dry before I melted right there in the middle of the event hall. I tried to be courteous and keep myself out of earshot of Mister Bono because I mean, itís a good story but you gotta be respectful. But my loud, immature, and braggadocious behavior came back to bite me in the ass in the next and final round.

    Round 7
    Lochlan - UW Helm Combo

    We take our seats and Iím at the second table. Table 1 has Seattle pal Jordan (Bant X-0) vs Marc (X-1), the Shardless BUG dude I played earlier. Table 2 is Me (X-1) vs Lochlan (X-2) on UW Helm Combo. Table 3, to my left, is Joe Bono (X-2) vs my round 1 opponent, Jeremy (X-?) on High Tide. As we sit down and shuffle up, High Tide Jeremy begins making small talk with Joe. He asks, ďDude, did you hear about the guy who cast a turn two Progenitus?Ē LOL Jeeeeesus. I felt like such an asshole. Joe calmly replies, ďYes, that was cast against me.Ē Silent waves of Feel Bad quake through the event hall. I grit my teeth and stare down at my playmat a little harder.

    Game 1

    Lochlan assembles Energy Field/RIP by turn three and I actually have no maindeck outs to that. Big scoops.

    Game 2
    I get a few dudes out and he quickly assembles CounterTop. I have a Hoof in hand and Crop Rotation to get a Cradle, but his CounterTop shenanigans are shutting off that play. I play some 1cmc things to try to get him to flip his top and in response to that, fireoff my Rotation for G.Cradle into Hoof, but he keeps topping and finding a 1 drop on the top so he never actually needs to flip his top. This is frustrating. After a few turns of draw-go I just naturally rip the Cradle, slam it, slam Hoof, resolves, boom boom on to game 3.

    Game 3
    I go for an early Natural Order and he has the Force. So I just start beating in with two dudes. He plays Porphyry Nodes. I should have just let it kill all my guys so it would die and go away but I had a grip full of men and a relevant spell or two and he had no action. So I figured I would just race the Nodes and drop more men than he could zap. This turns out to be a terrible plan because he soon after plays a Humility. There are about 15 minutes left in the round and with that Humility on the table I cannot actually win. So Iím playing for the draw at this point and itís completely on my opponent to put together a win.

    I just keep playing guys and swinging in. He keeps zapping my dudes with Nodes and topping constantly, finding nothing apparently. This goes on for awhile and he eventually finds Counterbalance. Then I draw Abrupt Decay. I somehow found this hilarious and couldnít help but laugh as I zapped his CB. Zap score: Him - a lot. Me - 1.

    Eventually I run out of dudes, his NodeZapper dies, and he lands an Energy Field. We draw go until I land a Heritage Druid. He is at 6. In desperation, he cracks a fetch going to 5, sacs Field, and tops hoping to find something fresh. Nothing. I swing for 1 bringing him to 4. I think we are on turns now. He tops, finds nothing. I swing taking him to 3 and play another dude. He tops. Finds nothing. I swing with 2 dudes, bringing him to 1. He tops on turn 5. Finds nothing. We draw.

    My play got really sloppy near the end there because I was slightly on tilt. But itís all good because at table 1, Jordan and Marc also drew. Which is kinda crazy but whatever. Magic is a crazy game sometimes. So Jordan, my only loss, is X-0-1. I am X-1-1. Jordanís opponent is X-1-1. Iím really bad at tiebreaker math, but I know that if my only loss was to the guy who went X-0, then Iím basically a lock for second? Because Marcís loss was not to an X-0 guy? Man I suck at this stuff. But when you travel into the forests of Portland, a 5-1-1 record is good enough to win you a Mox Pearl! Oh, and Jordan went X-0-1 to win the Mox Ruby! Pretty snazzy! Sry for taking all your moxen, Portland.

    Props:
    -Friendly and honorable opponents
    -Flavour Spot
    -Burgerville post-tournament feasts
    -Lesbians

    Slops:
    -Overactive sweat glands
    -Poo Junkie Troll
    -My own lack of restraint in regards to braggadocious behavior
    -Lesbians


  2. #2

    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Pretty sweet you got to hardcast progenitus! Having faced belcher again, what do you think about the idea of not boarding in therapies on the draw?

  3. #3
    The green Ancestral
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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Quote Originally Posted by danyul View Post
    But last turn I had two cards to his one, and he appeared to be confident that countering all my dudes was a good play. He must think his single card can beat two of my cards. So he must be holding a Goyf. And I guess he is just waiting on a land drop. And if Iím wrong, and he is holding blue card + FOW, well, then this Natural Order in my hand leaves him Hellbent against my two cards. I think I can draw better than him. Here we go. Natural Order, saccing Deathrite? Resolves. Instant, Sorcery, Creature, Land in GY. Goyf would be a 4/5. Hoof is a 5/5. Sounds good. Grab a Hoof.
    Great observation. This sort of depth makes the difference in games. Not always, but often. And you lived the dream and made a hard-cast Progenitus with a nutso sequence for the ages. Congrats, dude.

  4. #4
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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    @ nudon - I actually completely forgot your advice and just boarded the Cabal Therapies in anyway. It turns out that Belcher really can do all its dirty work on the first turn every damn time, so Mindbreak Trap is the only relevant card in that matchup. I guess I just have to mull aggressively into one.

    @ ESG - Thanks boss.

  5. #5

    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    GSZ/NO for pridemage, sliver, or viridan shaman are relevant too as shown by you during SCG Seattle. The next time I play against belcher on the draw, I'd probably bring in pridemage/sliver [and maybe NO] along with traps. As far as mulligans are concerned, I don't think you absolutely have to find traps since 7/11 of their win-cons are EtW. A strong hand with glimpse or NO can outrace them as well. Like you, I beat EtW for 16 goblins recently as well through glimpse combo on turn 3 (after taking 16 from a goblin attack).

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    @ nudon - Ah yeah. I forgot about that. I did indeed bring in my Harmonic Sliver. And that reminds me ó regarding the debate between Harmonic Sliver and Pridemage ó in situations where you can only make 4 mana, are holding a Natural Order, and need to kill something right away, Harmonic Sliver is better than Pridemage. +1 point to Gryffin...I mean Harmonic Sliver!

    @ Nilla Pac - I appreciate the kind words. Like Mister Bono, you too are a very nice guy and powerful wizard, although, again like Mister Bono, I hope you don't take it personally when I say I never want to see your name across from mine on a pairings sheet. Also, I promise to never stop freaking out and doing jump kicks into imaginary assailants whenever I perform well in a Magic tournament.

  7. #7
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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    This is the best tournament report. Like, ever. Congrats on the victorie$
    Languages and dates for every set. For all you true pimps.

  8. #8

    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Epic report man. You're a beast!
    Quote Originally Posted by thefringthing View Post
    baghdadbob, you're Team Scrubbad's spirit animal.

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    This was awesome. Congratulations on the result and on the Mox, and thanks a lot for writing this up for us!

  10. #10

    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Quote Originally Posted by danyul View Post
    @ nudon - Ah yeah. I forgot about that. I did indeed bring in my Harmonic Sliver. And that reminds me ó regarding the debate between Harmonic Sliver and Pridemage ó in situations where you can only make 4 mana, are holding a Natural Order, and need to kill something right away, Harmonic Sliver is better than Pridemage. +1 point to Gryffin...I mean Harmonic Sliver!
    That's a good point you bring up about NO->sliver and hadn't really occurred to me since the situations where I would want to NO->pridemage hadn't really come up. Your other match against cursed totem also illustrates another advantage sliver has over pridemage. The other primary benefit I see is that it provides more value in conjunction with cabal therapy against stoneblade. This pairing has benefits against sneak attack, omniscience, and other artifact/enchantment based combo decks too. I am going to test harmonic sliver and see how I like it but you've sold me for now haha. :)

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Thanks guys! It was a fun weekend and a fun report to write up.

    @ nudon - Bro, lemme tell you. I had never thought about it that deeply. I mostly liked the art more and thought slivers would more likely be a friend to elves than some catmandude. But you have just sold me on Harmonic Sliver too! LoL it's a good thing I already run him...or her...or whatever it is.

  12. #12

    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    I hadn't really thought about it too since the pridemage vs. sliver debate began long before LSV's NO build. LOL, nice reason for picking sliver. I'll let you know what I think of sliver when I get the chance to play. Aside from pridemage, the only differences between your 75 and mine are: +1 fyndhorn, +1 regal force, +1 horizon canopy, -1 llanowar, -1 craterhoof, -1 cradle. The fyndhorn is largely irrelevant unless the opponent randomly extracts llanowar. How did you feel after switching to 2 craterhoof? I personally think having regal force is much better since it allows you to NO into it for value (especially on t2) when you can't kill your opponent.

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    I like the second Hoof. I swapped it in after I realized I couldn't remember the last time I wanted a Regal Force. Even on t2, when it's far from lethal, I've taken quite a few games by just going for an early Hoof and forcing my opponent to deal with a 5/5. I mean as long as it's not against a white deck, most decks have trouble dealing with a 5/5 that early, and the haste makes a pretty big difference. Also there have been certain gamestates in which my first Hoof was countered and having access to the second Hoof gave me the game. And I never mind having a Hoof in my opening grip. But somehow I get cranky when I have a Regal Force in my opener. It must be an emotional response. As of now I haven't really missed ol' Regal. But I have him sleeved up on standby just in case I change my mind. I've only gotten a few tourneys under my belt with the changes. So I may change my mind. Who knows?

    Oh, and I can remember the few times I drew the Behemoth on the turn I intended to Natural Order for it, and that severely affected my ability to win the game. I mean I don't know how many times that has happened but it's just one of those feelbad things that is alleviated by playing the second Hoof.

  14. #14

    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Though you don't get the haste damage from a t2 NO, regal force also gives you a 5/5 that they have to deal with right away. More importantly, you refuel your hand for the next turn to combo out. I feel this is especially important against miracle control (one of our worst matchups) since a terminus completely blows us out. In the situations where you drew craterhoof and was forced to gsz/NO into regal force, did you end up losing the game as a result? If not, then maybe that's not as bad as you may think.

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    I can't remember if I lost any games because of it but I certainly gave my opponent's another turn to find an out.

    Here's how I look at it - and I freely admit to not having given it an extraordinary amount of thought - whenever Regal Force is good, Hoof is (usually) just plain better.

    Let's say you have 1 additional guy out after resolving NO for Hoof. Not sick. That's (1+2)+(5+2)=10 damage. I'd rather have that 10 damage than 2 cards. Even not sick, I'd rather have 7 damage, right now, than 2 cards.

    Lemme see if I can make a little table thing to further illustrate my point. This word processor thingy is only capable of so much.

    In the event that you are able to resolve NO, which is better, Hoof or Force? These tables include Hoof damage and we will start counting as if NO resolves with just a Hoof/Force on the table.

    Sick table
    Dudes | Damage | Cards
    1 | 5 | 1
    2 | 7 | 2
    3 | 8 | 3
    4 | 9 | 4
    5 | 10| 5

    Not Sick table
    Dudes | Damage | Cards
    1 | 5 | 1
    2 | 10 | 2
    3 |16 | 3
    4 | K I dont wanna do the math anymore. It's lethal.

    So when comparing Hoof to Force, you have to ask (and board state/sickness becomes a factor here) is X damage better or worse than Y cards? Of course, when your team is not sick, the Hoof is almost always better, so these comparisons are more relevant when your team is sick, but even in those cases I usually want the damage, the hasty immediate damage, more than the 1 or 2 cards. Choosing which you prefer is really a playstyle thing.

  16. #16

    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    I definitely agree that 'hoof is better in most scenarios. I guess I just like having that extra line of play available at the expense of potentially drawing the behemoth with NO in hand. With at least 1 extra attacker, it's almost a foregone conclusion to grab 'hoof each time. However as you know, we're referring more to the case where it would be the only attacker. Also as you pointed out, StP can make the play a little riskier too depending on the board state. Regardless, I agree it's definitely a matter of play style. :)

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Quote Originally Posted by danyul View Post
    I had an hour before the Legacy side event started (info here) so I decided to get in the insane Steve Argyle line. A friend who couldnít attend asked me to get some cards signed and I thought the side event would run long so this might be my only shot. After about 30 minutes in line and with the side event registration time fast approaching, I realized that I may need to scoop here and ditch the line. To get a feel for how long I might have to keep waiting, I asked a couple people ahead of me if they were going for full-on take-forever-alterations or just a simple signature. Tall nerd guy, ďJust a signatureĒ. Weird nerd girl, ďJust a signature...Ē
    I was the tall nerd guy and you made a good call ditching the line. By the time I finally got through and went over to register for the Legacy side event I think I had maybe 5 minutes before it started.


    Quote Originally Posted by danyul View Post
    Round 5[/B]
    Ramses - Sligh/Burn/Red stuff
    I played him the round before and he definitely knows his stuff. I wouldn't be surprised to see him do well at larger events at some point.


    Quote Originally Posted by danyul View Post
    Iíll say again because it bears repeating, Joe Bono is truly a gentleman and very, very nice man. I canít say enough nice things about him. He is also a stone-faced master. I never got any information from him. It was terrifying.
    Seconded to all of the above. He's definitely an asset to the community.

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    @ Whippoorwill - Tally ho fellow wizard! May we cross paths again upon another time and another place. And duel to the death!

    @ 'Nilla Pac - I actually did not know that. I just know that you are a very powerful mage who has vanquished many wizards of note. I did not think my hat pointy enough, nor my robes droopy enough, to do proper battle with you. But if you are telling me that I have a pointy enough hat and droopy enough robes to be considered a fellow powerful mage, well, then I salute you with a flick of my wand, good sir, and invite you to duel upon a plane of your choice. Like maybe at that PTQ side event Card Kingdom is hosting next month.

    /rp

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    All I can say is that you should probably get that thing checked out. If you get my drift.

    Also: Nice report.
    "The last top 8 slot went to the winner of that Death and Taxes mirror, or as I like to call it, the White Supremacy Mirror.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Finn
    Modern

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    Re: Lost in the Woods @ GP Portland - a Tale of Pearls, Poops, and Progenitus

    Lance beat me turn zero once because I wasn't thinking.

    true story.

    sweet report.

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