[Legacy] Judge Destroyer 1.0

[Noctalor]

So, last night, while i was drunk as fk i had this wonderfull idea.
Build a deck, legal in legacy, able to totally mindfuck your local judge

So the idea is that you have an insane number of triggers to resolve in order to win, and you MUST resolve them, you can't just assume that you will win after, because its totally random.

I came up with this list

4 Burning Wish
3 Show and Tell
4 Dig Through Time
4 Omniscience
1 Akroma, Angel of Wrath
1 Remand
4 Force of Will
4 Gitaxian Probe
3 Pyromancer Ascension
4 Ponder
4 Brainstorm
3 Volcanic Island
4 Scalding Tarn
4 Polluted Delta
4 Island
1 Boseiju, Who Shelters All
2 City of Traitors
3 Flusterstorm
1 Preordain
1 Final Fortune
1 Enter the Infinite

SB: 1 Show and Tell
SB: 1 Enter the Infinite
SB: 1 Golden Wish
SB: 1 Dual Nature
SB: 2 Doubling Season
SB: 1 Grip of Chaos
SB: 1 Helm of the Gods
SB: 1 Opalescence
SB: 1 Overmaster
SB: 2 Pyroclasm
SB: 2 Defense Grid
SB: 1 Ashnod's Altar



The gameplan is:
1) Show an Omniscience and then wish an enter the infinite, the cast final fortune and go in the extra turn
2) Charge your Pyromancer ascensions (you can use more copies of S&T or counters)
3) Play Akroma
4) Cast a burning wish and get all your wishboard
5) Cast a golden wish, remand the original and recast it, so you can wish for 9 enchantment

6) Cast Opalescence
7) Cast dual nature (it will trigger on itself, so you end up with 2 of them)
8) Cast Doubling season, as it come into play both dual nature will trigger, so the first trigger give you 1 copy *2 and the second give you 1 copy *2^3
9) Cast the second doubling seasons, the amount of doubling seasons you get is INSANE, in the end you have a total of 1044388881413152506691752710716624382579964249047383780384233483283953907971557456848826811934997558340890106714439262837987573438185793607263236087851365277945956976543709998340361590134383718314428070011855946226376318839397712745672334684344586617496807908705803704071284048740118609114467977783598029006686938976881787785946905630190260940599579453432823469303026696443059025015972399867714215541693835559885291486318237914434496734087811872639496475100189041349008417061675093668333850551032972088269550769983616369411933015213796825837188091833656751221318492846368125550225998300412344784862595674492194617023806505913245610825731835380087608622102834270197698202313169017678006675195485079921636419370285375124784014907159135459982790513399611551794271106831134090584272884279791554849782954323534517065223269061394905987693002122963395687782878948440616007412945674919823050571642377154816321380631045902916136926708342856440730447899971901781465763473223850267253059899795996090799469201774624817718449867455659250178329070473119433165550807568221846571746373296884912819520317457002440926616910874148385078411929804522981857338977648103126085903001302413467189726673216491511131602920781738033436090243804708340403154194444 Doubling Seasons in play, you should actually print this number a bunch of times so you can use it as a counter to put on your seasons and future enchantments, because from now on every single ench you play will get doubled this number of times
10) Cast your grip of chaos and put a 2^doubling seasons counter on it
11) Go for the Helm of the Gods on akroma now, you have also your Ashnod's Altar so you have the mana to equip a bunch of times (remember all your ench are also creature you can sac)

12) Call the judge

Finally you call the judge, you explain to him that you have no clue how to resolve the grip of chaos, and you must know if you get the helm on akroma, because is the only creature with haste you control and in the EOT you lose the game so you cant just wait, if the judge try to tell you forgot some trigger tell him you have exactly 2^1044388......54194444 grip of chaos trigger, and you and your opponent agree on shortcut them (well actually ask your opponent) so each time you cast a spell/ability with a single target you just have to say all grip's trigger and you dont have to put them on stack one by one, but now you have no idea how to solve the situation, you have a 100k digit number of trigger to solve and each trigger will make you chose at random between a milionK digits number of permanent


13) ???

14) Profit, if he find a way to solve it it will still take ours to do so, and the setup is pretty easy you can do it in any game, if you dont feel like it but you wanna win you can just equip the helm before you go "infinite"


Any idea on how to improve the deck?
I know you could go for 4 doubling seasons, but then you will not be able to write on paper how many of them you control w/o using conway chained arrow notation, so i think this is enought

[Bed Decks Palyer]

I love you.

[Watersaw]

I'm crying

[Phoenix Ignition]

Is there any way to do this without Ashnod's Altar? That gives you an easy way to sacrifice down creatures until you have 14 other than akroma, with a billion billion mana floating. That would let you pretty easily equip it to her (assuming you shortcut randomly assigned equip abilities to just the one that matters).

Does Battle Hymn do it? That would give you 1 mana per creature, making it actually possible to equip it to akroma, while not making it as easy as 1/15 chance a trillion times.

I have a friend who judges our Vintage tournaments, I think I'm going to make this deck just for him. Losing a tournament would make it so worth it.

EDIT: Wait, what about Enchanted Evening with Thran Dynamo? Can we fit it in the sideboard? That'd be a ridiculously high number of mana producing artifact enchantments that has an even higher number of creatures to randomly assign the equipment to, without a possibility of making an easier way to attach the equipment by sacrificing the arbitrarily high number of creatures.

[Bed Decks Palyer]

I think you need City of Solitude somewhere so that you don't need to tak care of the opponent at all. Although you'll draw your whole deck and lots of counterspells, you still can't fight through Maze or Karakas.

[Noctalor]

You can actually just slam a Thran Dynamo, no need for more activation even a single one is too much to handle, but ofc we play Gilded Lotus over it because we can play Gilded Lotus in a tournament.

Agree on the city, we can just cut a defence grid for it.

So the new sideboard looks like this

SB: 1 Show and Tell
SB: 1 Enter the Infinite
SB: 1 Golden Wish
SB: 1 Dual Nature
SB: 2 Doubling Season
SB: 1 Grip of Chaos
SB: 1 Helm of the Gods
SB: 1 Opalescence
SB: 1 Overmaster
SB: 2 Pyroclasm
SB: 1 Defense Grid
SB: 1 City of Solitude
SB: 1 Gilded Lotus


Is funny how this deck is actually close to a tier1, just w/o a sideboard


PS: Enchanted Evening + dynamo makes all your dynamos turn into ench, also turning into creature, you get a million of them but they cant tap for mana because they need haste

[datanaga]

So, last night, while i was drunk as fk i had this wonderfull idea.
Build a deck, legal in legacy, able to totally mindfuck your local judge

You made my day, thanks:)

[spirit of the wretch]

Wait a minute, won't you just deck yourself off the Remand carddraw?