Tabernacle, Marit Lage & Shadowspear

[PirateKing]

Is there an order of operations that would cause my opponent who controls a Marit Lage token sourced from Dark Depths and The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale to have their creature destroyed by Tabernacle of I control a Shadowspear and access to mana?
Do I have to activate Shadowspear's ability with the Tabernacle trigger on the stack, allowing my opponent to choose to pay the cost and keep the creature?
Can I wait until they have made the decision to not pay, activate Shadowspear's ability and destroy the token?

[FourDogsinaHorseSuit]

Is there an order of operations that would cause my opponent who controls a Marit Lage token sourced from Dark Depths and The Tabernacle at Pendrell Vale to have their creature destroyed by Tabernacle of I control a Shadowspear and access to mana?
Do I have to activate Shadowspear's ability with the Tabernacle trigger on the stack, allowing my opponent to choose to pay the cost and keep the creature?
Can I wait until they have made the decision to not pay, activate Shadowspear's ability and destroy the token?

You don't know if they're going to pay until the ability resolves. So you need to activate before then otherwise they will choose not to pay tabby will try and destroy the indestructible. Of course because you have to pay before resolution they will know at resolution that they will need to pay.
Unlike, say, damage, "destroy" doesn't hang around constantly trying to kill the creature waiting for it to lose its indestructible.