I didn't mean to write a tournament-report but since I enjoyed myself so much and I kinda won I just thought that I'd write a report just for the kicks. (No, I do not have anything better to do..) My memory sucks, so the matches might not be accurately described, but who cares?

When I arrived at the tournament-place I tried to beg everyone for a playset of one "interesting tech" but they just laughed at me because they thought I was joking. Fuck them, I was quite serious.
(I get the missing sulfur elemental from the judge's highlander-deck though ^^)

This is the decklist I registered:
10 Mountain
4 Ancient Tomb
4 City of Traitors
4 Chrome Mox
4 Seething Song

4 Chalice of the Void
4 Blood Moon
2 Umezawa's Jitte

4 Simian Spirit Guide
4 Magus of the Moon
4 Sulfur Elemental
4 Gathan Raiders
4 Rakdos Pit Dragon
4 Arc-Slogger

Sideboard:
4 Pithing Needle
4 Tormod's Crypt
3 Pyrokinesis
1 Umezawa's Jitte
3 Trinisphere

The tournament was five rounds without a cut to top8. I don't know how many people there were but quite a lot anyway. We should have played at least 6 rounds really..

First round: Mono-green Chalice-Trini-Aggro-Thing?
I win the die roll.
1st game:
I start with 1st turn Magus. He starts with first turn forest, elf.
I don't play anything of real relevance and he gets an active SoF&I on an elephant.
I lose. Damn these tier-6 decks..

I side in Pithing Needles and Pyrokinesises(?) and a Jitte. I take out Chalices and Blood Moons,
even though hes deck was very 1-drop heavy.

2nd game.
This was tougher. I seem to have beaten myself down to 14, so I must have had a tomb-fueled start.
I remember having creatures down and then I Pyrokinesised (how do you conjugate that word?) his blockers and swung for the win. A Jitte might have been involved?

3rd game.
This game involved Rakdos Pit Dragon apparently. His life total goes down to 1 from 18. Anyway, he had 2 SoF&I's in his hand after the game and I had started with a game-braking Needle on SoF&I.

1-0 (games 2-1)


2nd Round: Cephalid Breakfast
I win the die roll.
1st game:
I start with a Magus, he has the Force. He plays a Vial down. (damn!) Next turn I drop a Blood Moon. After that I drop a Chalice-1, and after that I drop a Chalice-2. I do not, however find a creature early enough and he just eventually draws the combo and craps all over me.

I side in Needles and Crypts. I sided out Arc-Sloggers and a Song, and a Pit Dragon and Jittes. Terribly random I know, but in my defense - I haven't eaten anything not coffee and might have had fewer. Don't really know. I guess I was just as confused as always :)

2nd game:
I beat myself down to 12 so something tomb-fueled must have happened. Anyway, I played 3 Sulfur Elementals this game and had a Magus there somewhere also. He couldn't combo because of Sulfurs and only drew one Goyf, which I "trickied him" to trade with my 2nd sulfur, then I played the third and he became a sad panda. This game involved the tournaments only (?) play mistake from my part, but it was so terrible I would have deserved to lose this one. This is the situation:
I have a MotM and a Sulfur out. He has Vials at one and two. I have a Blood Moon in my hand. I attack with both creatures ?!?! Lucky for me he didn't have a goyf in his hand, that would have meant bye bye MotM and hello fetching two basic lands and brainstorming and whatnot. Seriosly, I shouldn't suck at magic like this. I should have played the moon pre-combat and only attack with the MotM. Anyway, I proceeded to apply more pressure and beated him to death.

I have an urge to side the Pyrokinesiseseseieseis in to trade with goyfs or something? I take out a pithing needle (why?) and a pit dragon (seriously, why?). Does sucking at sideboarding count as play-mistake?

3rd game.
No idea how this actually played out. He fetched a basic or forced my moon-effect apparently. I played a second magus probably and gathan raiders, judging from the drops of his life-total. I remember faintly having a combo-preventing Sulfur this game also, along with tormod's crypt, Pithing Needle and Pyrokinesis back-up. Whoops I win.

2-0 (games 4-2)

3rd round: Ugb-landstill with counter/top.
I win the die roll.

1st game.
I have no idea how I get my lifetotal to drop from 20 to 16 in one swoop. Must have burned for 2 from tomb or something.. Anyway, I remember him having two forces for two moons, and then having a Deed down to clear my board. Some tarmogoyf's soon followed. I had Chalices at 1 and 2 before the deed hit, but what can you do?..

I sideboard in Pithing Needles for Chalices.

2nd game.
I have first turn moon with a second turn moon-backup. I also have some needles and whatnot here. Something hellbent happened too judging from his lifetotal dropping from 14 to 1. This was all pretty irrelevant though since he had mulled to 4 and never really had a chance. I guess he tried mulliganing for FoW in order to not get ass-fucked by Magus.

3rd game.
Toughest one of the day. This was really an epic battle. He had force for my moon. The second one came down though. He blasted it. I played 2 blood moons to compensate the loss. A few turns later he blasted them too. I naturally topdecked a blood moon - well he floated a green mana and krosan gripped it!
I had played a Needle on top here somewhere, and he had mistakenly used his top like brainstorm (he had one in his hand and he tapped an island, an easy mistake) and he then reported this to the judge himself (what a gentleman). I had been looking at someones pretty shining sleeves with pictures of half-naked anime-girls this whole time and when the judge came over I was pretty intimidated for some reason. (I'm not a pervert!)
Well, the opponent would have gotten a game loss by the rules but really, he reported the mistake himself and was such a gentleman in every other aspect too that we we're all very pleased when the judge just gave him a warning. I still had like ~6 turns to draw a threath and just beat him the old-fashioned way but I didn't really get lucky this time. Lone monkey never got there.

After the game he told me that he had 12 ways to remove a blood moon after sb !! Seriously now, I'm the only one playing them so isn't that a little too much? I've never done anything to him, he shouldn't hate me like that :'(

2-1 (games 5-4)


4th round: Grow-a-Tog.
I win the die roll.
1st game:
I played a first turn sulfur, second turn magus (he had the force), then I played G-Unit and a Pit Dragon a little later. He had however, drawed his only Maze of Ith, which kept my Raiders from killing him. When I got the Dragon, he had just played his Shackles so it didn't really look good. He had countered ~3+ moons during our Ith-Raiders standstill, so I lose the G1 again..

I side in Pithing Needles and some Crypts, but not all of them. I sided out the Jittes and Chalices.

2nd game:
I had the Moon, he didn't have the force. I then played some Sulfurs and probably something hellbent judging from how fast this game was. Good times.

3rd game:
I'm at 12 again, lovely tombs aren't they? This was a tight game. We traded moons and counters again - I had started with a Crypt and Needle to fish the FoW but he endured them like a man. After a few countered moons and some off-curve topdecks I then proceed to play moon, pit-dragon, slogger to try and get him counter a non-slogger spell. (well, I curved like this naturally (this deck has some really weird draws sometimes) but still, I wanted the game-winning slogger.) He again took the baits to the face and forced the slogger. Sometimes competent opponents can be frustrating :(
(People were actually rooting for my slogger to resolve, how cool (/sad) is that?)
Well, he gets some basics and shackles down again but I'm one turn too fast for him to take over the game. Phew. Pit Dragon is so good at hitting people.

3-1 (games: 7-5)

Fifth round: Err.. Some tier-8 metagame beatz?
I LOSE the die roll. How can this happen?

1st game: He leads with a Taiga and a Jungle Lion.
I'm so confused by this I almost forget to play my first turn magus. He doesn't play anything after this and I just beat face. He can't help laughing at how bad this matchup is for him, since he doesn't have a single basic in his deck.

I side in 3 pyrokinesis and a jitte for the chalices. All his spells cost 1 but I just don't care.

2nd game: First turn magus with a pyrokinesis-backup. (all his creatures have toughness of 1)

4-1 (games: 9-5)

He desperately wants to play some fun-games and since other people are almost still pile-shuffling I can't really refuse the request. He kinda wants to prove to himself that his metagame-deck can't have an unwinnable match-up. We play like ~15 games and he loses them all by turn 2. I then suggest that he picks his opening 7 and he does that but still loses horribly. It's unfair that I have 17 cards that just outright win him (21 if I hadn't sided out the chalices).

So after the rounds, I'm tied as first with my round five and round three opponents and we just have to split the price :(
So I only kinda won, but didn't really.

Hindsight and thoughts:
- Sulfur Elementals are REALLY good. Akroma sucks, don't play her. if you have counter-heavy meta, sulfur is just better. Seriously. I don't know about Mauler still though..
- Trinisphere sucks ass. It's awful. Never needed it, never wanted it. Against Recruiter-Aluren it would have been good but seriously now..
- Chalice is really not as good as it once was because everyone tries to have an actual mana curve to not get prison-sex from counter-top.
- I still don't like Jitte :(

Pros:
- Me for winning the die-rolls. (except one)
- Blood Moons for being awesome.
- Me for getting 1st turn moons almost every game.
- Dragon Stompy for being the most amusing deck ever.

Slops:
- Me for losing G1's. (except one)
- Opponents for having the Force for my Moons almost every time.
- Arc-Slogger for not showing up.
- Seething Song for not showing up.
- Chalice for losing the touch.
- Round 6 for not happening.
- Trinisphere for being useless waste of sideboard space. (I apologise for the rhyming)


I hope someone was able to waste some working-time reading this, and if you have any suggestions or whatever, or just feel like calling me an ass for playing like shit against Breakfast, please - go ahead, I like attention :)