Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[Hanni]

I like making almost too powerful cards that really aren't too powerful anymore in relation to the things that have seen recent print like Tarmogoyf.

Mage Rage
UR
Instant
Look at the top card of your library. You may put that card on the bottom of your library.
Draw a card.
Mage Rage deals 2 damage to target creature or player.

Comet
RRRR
Sorcery
Comet deals 5 damage to each creature and each player.

Dark Elf
GB
Creature - Demon Elf
When Dark Elf comes into play, look at target opponent's hand. You choose a noncreature, nonland card from it. That player discards that card.
2/1

Ramosian General
1WW
Creature - Human Rebel
Other Rebel creatures you control get +1/+1.
5, T: Search your library for a Rebel permanent card with converted mana cost 4 or less and put that card onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.
2/2

Urza's Greatsword
1
Legendary Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gets +1/+0.
Equipped creature gains Double Strike.
Equip 1.

Black Mamba
1G
Creature - Snake
Poison 3.
1/1

Poisonous Fangs
G
Artifact - Equipment
Equipped creature gains Poison 2.
Equip G.

Judgement Day
U/B WW
Sorcery
Destroy all Creatures. They can't be regenerated.

Merfolk Bouncer
2U
Creature - Merfolk
When Merfolk Bouncer enters the battlefield, return target creature to its owner's hand.

Machine Head
BR
Haste.
Machine Head cannot block.
4/1.

Undead Sorcerer
UBR
Creature - Zombie Wizard
Whenever an opponent is dealt damage or you draw a card, return Undead Sorcerer from your graveyard to play.
Sacrifice Undead Sorcerer: Undead Sorcerer deals 1 damage to target creature or player, or you may draw a card. Activate this ability only once each turn.
0/1