Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[Hanni]

Scorch
R
Instant
Deal 3 damage to target creature or player. Its controller may search his or her library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle his or her library.

Ignite
R
Instant
Deal 3 damage to target creature or player. Ignite deals 5 damage to you.

Impact
R
Instant
As an additional cost of Impact, discard a card. Deal 3 damage to target creature or player.

I'd be happy if either of these were to see print, preferrably the first one (Scorch). I could care less it/they ended up being Sorcery, I just want one more playable 1cc 3 damage burn spell. Just one more!

Blast Wave
1R
Sorcery
Impact deals 4 damage to target creature or player.

They haven't upgraded Incinerate for over a decade but they just reprint Lightning Bolt, so I'm kind of confused. Incinerate costs an entire 1 more mana to prevent a creature destroyed from regenerating. Dropping the inability to regenerate aspect, downgrading it from Instant to Sorcery, and upping the point of damage by 1 is bound to happen at some point, especially with the continued power creep of creatures.

[gamegeek2]

Infused Automaton 1X
Artifact Creature
Sunburst
If R was spent to play CARDNAME, it has haste
If U was spent to play CARDNAME, it has flying
If G was spent to play CARDNAME, it gets +1/+1
If B was spent to play CARDNAME, it has deathtouch
If W was spent to play CARDNAME, it has first strike
0/0

An elegant card that can be anything from an early blocker to a powerful finisher.

[DownSyndromeKarl]

Pyromaniac
Sorcery

Search your library for a card with an average trade value of $10 or more, light the card on fire: You win the game.

ERRATA: Before continuing to the next game and/or match, you must replace the burnt card with another copy of the same card, in keeping with the deck you registered with.

[MMogg]

Scorch
R
Instant
Deal 3 damage to target creature or player. Its controller may search his or her library for a basic land card, put that card onto the battlefield tapped, then shuffle his or her library.

Ignite
R
Instant
Deal 3 damage to target creature or player. Ignite deals 5 damage to you.

Impact
R
Instant
As an additional cost of Impact, discard a card. Deal 3 damage to target creature or player.

I'd be happy if either of these were to see print, preferrably the first one (Scorch). I could care less it/they ended up being Sorcery, I just want one more playable 1cc 3 damage burn spell. Just one more!

Blast Wave
1R
Sorcery
Impact deals 4 damage to target creature or player.

They haven't upgraded Incinerate for over a decade but they just reprint Lightning Bolt, so I'm kind of confused. Incinerate costs an entire 1 more mana to prevent a creature destroyed from regenerating. Dropping the inability to regenerate aspect, downgrading it from Instant to Sorcery, and upping the point of damage by 1 is bound to happen at some point, especially with the continued power creep of creatures.

What about a burn spell that lets you search your library for a copy of that spell when you play it. Either 2 dmg, search or 3 dmg search.

True Pyromaniac
Sorcery

Search your opponent's library for a card with an average trade value of $10 or more, light the card on fire: You win the game.

ERRATA: Before continuing to the next game and/or match, he or she must replace the burnt card with another copy of the same card, in keeping with the deck he or she registered with.

I have a doctor's note, see, it's a condition. . . I can't help it!

Fixed

[Humphrey]

Standstall
Enchantment
When ~ enters the battlefield, tap all permanents.
Players skip their untap steps.

5minutes left..

[Maveric78f]

Infused Automaton 1X
Artifact Creature
Sunburst
If R was spent to play CARDNAME, it has haste
If U was spent to play CARDNAME, it has flying
If G was spent to play CARDNAME, it gets +1/+1
If B was spent to play CARDNAME, it has deathtouch
If W was spent to play CARDNAME, it has first strike
0/0

An elegant card that can be anything from an early blocker to a powerful finisher.

Now we've got a 0/0, or at best a 1/1 you spent G. By the way the 1 in the CC is absolutely irrelevant. As it is worded it is still too strong: tutorable with trinket mage, and a 2/2 for G, a 1/1 flying for U a 1/1 deathtouch for B. It's the best 1 drops of every color in a single card. And it gets better as long as you pay more.

[MMogg]

Standstall
Enchantment
When ~ enters the battlefield, tap all permanents.
Players skip their untap steps.

5minutes left..

Pretty undercosted considering Kismet is less powerful and is and Stasis is with an upkeep. That card would bring back MUC though.

[Barook]

Would this be too powerful against red decks?

Lawful Knight
Creature - Human Knight
Lifelink, protection from red
2/2

[MMogg]

Would this be too powerful against red decks?

Lawful Knight
Creature - Human Knight
Lifelink, protection from red
2/2

The question is would it be playable in Legacy. The only deck it would be great against is Goblins, and I suppose maybe Burn, but that's not even close to tier 1. I love White Weenie, but I fear it's never going to be playable again outside of casual games. Maybe if they power creeped "weenies" to be 3/3 for they'd have a fighting chance.

[MMogg]

I know this is kind of useless in Legacy, but I like this card (if I do say so myself) so I wanted to share it here.

I must say that I really enjoy making cards with that program (Magic Set Editor). If others in this thread haven't tried it, they should. It's addictive.

[Barook]

Disciplie of Silence
Creature - Human Cleric
Artifacts and enchantment spells cost more to play.
Activated abilities of artifacts and enchantments cost more to play.
1/1

Mainly meant to hose artifact mana, but also hits a few other things, like Survival, SDT, equipment or even Vial to a certain extend.

[Tilde]

Lesser Meddling Mage
Creature - Human Wizard
As Lesser Meddling Mage enters the battlefield, name a nonland card.
The named card costs more to cast.
1/1

[Van Phanel]

Cleverness UU
Instant
Draw two cards
Being too clever might cause you bad dreams. - Rabindranath Tagore

Will never be printed like this though as they'd believe it to be too strong for T2. Might be printed as a sorcery.

[johanessen]

Bringer of Death
B
Creature - Vampire
Exalted, Double strike, Deathtouch.
1/1

[gravemind123]

Frantic Looking
2U
Instant
Draw 2 cards, then discard a card from your hand. Untap up to two lands.

Might be too good, but it would be nice to have either that or Frantic Search.

[Barook]

Savage Shaman
Creature - Human Shaman
Flash
Sacrifice Savage Shaman: Savage Shaman deals 2 damage to each player for each nonbasic land card in his or her graveyard.
2/2

It's basically a PoP variant with a body and the twist that it is based on non-basics in the graveyard instead of the non-basics in play (take that, fetchlands!). It also goes along very well with land destruction and has nice synergy with Grim Lavamancer, assuming you really want to run fetchlands, too.

Might be a bit too powerful at this cost, but could easily bumped for one mana and a bigger body and/or making the sac effect into a cip ability instead.

[Elfrago]

Frantic Looking
2U
Instant
Draw 2 cards, then discard a card from your hand. Untap up to two lands.

Might be too good, but it would be nice to have either that or Frantic Search.

Yeah, let's print a cards that's better than a banned one

[Digital Devil]

Bringer of Death
B
Creature - Vampire
Exalted, Double strike, Deathtouch.
1/1

Why not making it cost and with a 9/9 body?

[jimirynk]

UU 1/1 flying flash faerie that stifles when it comes into play.

Or

BBBB enchantment
at your upkeep you lose 3 life
You cant draw cards, your opponents skips their draw step.

[johanessen]

Why not making it cost and with a 9/9 body?

Maybe changing Double Strike for First Strike is more balanced..