Scooping Teammates into Round 3 Byes. With Emerald Teapot.dec -> GPT

[Rock Lee]

This tournament report will be horrible. If you dislike horrible, then leave immediately. Don't even finish this paragraph or sentence. This tournament report will have minor notes, no blazing successes of the normal kind and represent a small GPT, however it will be an awesome deck and show a great story of teammates going the extra mile for each other. awwww.

My quasi-retired teammate Jeff Carpenter wanted to pilot the cardboard love of my life Turbo-Eldrazi at the very local GPT and I already had my 3 round byes so we went with a rope-a-dope and swapped decks for the event. He has been messing around with the original econo-legacy deck out there Mono Blue Control, and since I won my first Legacy event ever with it, I figured whynot? I of course decided to make mono blue control strictly expensive by adding Jace2.0 and adding white to mono blue making it mono blue with stoneforge mystic. Its a fun pile and beats people senseless!

// Lands
4 [ON] Flooded Strand
11 [IN] Island
1 [RV] Tundra
3 [IN] Plains
2 [RAV] Misty Rainforest
3 [10E] Quicksand

// Creatures
4 [M11] Scroll Thief
4 [MBS] Phyrexian Revoker
2 [WWK] Stoneforge Mystic

// Spells
2 [FD] Vedalken Shackles
3 [ARE] Mana Leak
4 [AL] Force of Will
3 [US] Back to Basics
1 [WWK] Jace, the Mind Sculptor
3 [FNM] Force Spike
1 [BOK] Umezawa's Jitte
4 [5E] Brainstorm
1 [DS] Sword of Fire and Ice
1 [MBS] Sword of Feast and Famine
4 [IA] Counterspell

// Sideboard
SB: 1 [US] Back to Basics
SB: 3 [ZEN] Mindbreak Trap
SB: 4 [ALA] Relic of Progenitus
SB: 3 [SOM] Ratchet Bomb
SB: 4 [4E] Swords to Plowshares

The deck is hella simple, and really comes down to saying "no"

until they tap out with nonbasics and then you give them the big ol'


with
.

Without further ado let the precession of crazy hats begin!

Round 1: SOME GUY playing Welder Red. Notes discarded to feed Ravenous Rats outside Manchester, CT's Main Drag seen here.

Game 1: I go land go, he goes Turn 1 Grim Monolith Pass. I go Phyrexian Revoker on Monolith BACKSPINS of glee. This is going to be a great day I can already tell. He was hinging on this monolith being abused somehow for he goes land-go and I then counter some things of import like Metalworkers, Steel Hellkites and the like, and smasherize him with sword of Feast and Famine, which never gets enough to eat.

Game 2: He has a turn 1 lodestone golem. Annnnnnd I have lands. what a short game.

Game 3: He has turn 1 welder, I have turn 2 Phyrexian Revoker. I draw a million counterspells but awkwardly he's drawing a million mana? and ends up with over 14 mana in play and 4 in hand when lethal hits. Granted, I had 5 counterspells in hand at the time.. but ya know how that goes.

Round 2: SOME GUY playing Merfolk. Notes still being digested by said Ravenous Rats, soon to be food for Worms seen here

Oh god. merfolk. Often the bane of mono blue with their sneaky islandwalking. But Ophidian has been taking swimming lessons recently and Ophidian is Evolving...
...
...
INTO a MERFOLK!?


Game 1: He turn 1 AEther Vials. I turn 1 Revoker. (foams at the mouth with glee) We start playing fairly until a lord of Atlantis hits the board, and when he tries to block my scroll thief with some merfolk I show off his impeccable KataNukite-Hitoe-Noshi he's been training in secret with, and slides straight past the blockers. A Jitte joins the fray and unblockable jitte mows down everyone except the Lord of Atlantis. In a pivotal all-in-last-ditch he swings all in, but jitte removes attacker's islandwalk and revoker and mystic mow down the fish folk.

Game 2: He turn 1 AEther Vial, I turn 1 Force of Will. He turn 1 Frowns, I turn 1 Dance a Jig.

This game ends in short order when sword of fire and ice enters play on turn 5, and starts devouring Rejjory's.

Round 3: SOME GUY who happens to be my TEAMMATE I want to get the Bye. CONCEDE! He's a guarantee for Top 4 if he goes 3-0 and I can still get in with a win the next round. We go on a journey to find food and after many tragically blasphemous CT restaurants closed on Sunday save the Indy food store Jeff was not keen on, we arrived upon the doorstep of the pinnacle of delicacy delights, 7-11 with their prepackaged sandwiches. Mmm fine dining.


Round 4: SOME GUY playing lands. This is the guy who loaned out his 42-lands deck in the event I won the week before and was frustrated observing a newer pilot struggling with the deck. I knew the games would be fun but did not test this matchup much. Who expects lands? that's right,

Game 1: Was quite possibly the most entertaining game of magic I have played in a long time. I had an average hand of early counters with scroll thief, so I figure I keep that. Well Maze of Ith and Glacial Chasm laugh at Scroll Thief and his NOT BEING OPHIDIAN noooo! Right when I thought you had been upgraded completely I was WRONG! Dead WRONG! Why did I ever forsake you Ophidian.. please forgive me. Actually no.


Go away.

We'll make due.

We rip like crazy sugersaturated monkies into the Back to Basics to delay us the game. This gives us ONE precious hit of the scroll thief. Oh delicious card.. I would say cards, but it stops immediately afterward due to Glacial Chasm. Its looking dim for our heros as he assembles Exploration, Ghost Quarter, Crucible of Worlds for infinite glacial chasms and then our beacon of hope arrives. The card that noone has yet to discover but makes his grand appearance in THIS VERY DECK!


What a sack I am. This gives me outs to no damage! Hurray! And now my hand of "useless" counters only does one thing, which is prevent bad things from happening from our happy 1-of savior. Well, SOME GUY whose name will be forgotten does his best, we have a good game of magical cards wherein priority passes happen, but ultimately the more expensive cards win, and he wasn't going for any tabernacles this game.

Game 2: Tragically is not as epic near as awesome. I start the game with Relic -> Back to Basics into a fully tapped out situation and then I start drawing cards. The game ends shortly after I have a scroll thief with Feast or Famine, Umezawa's Jitte AND Fire and Ice equipped.

HURRAY Top 4!

Semifinals: SOME GUY who happens to be my teammate I want to get the bye. CONCEDE! Wasn't that exciting!

He goes on the lose in the finals. *shakes fist at the heavens*

IT was a great event, we made money, had fun with crazy cards and saw MANY frustrated opponents. And if magic is about one glorious action, it is observing players wanting to gouge their own eyes out. The little things... They bring a tear to my eye.

Props:
- FINALLY finding someone to trade me their Tabernacle! Its a miracle!
- Enough people showing up to a hole-in-the-wall location to make this happen
- ME! For winning more matches than my teammate who got to the finals! /flex
- ME AGAIN! Just because I'm ME!

Slops:
- A lack of humility by ME in the Props/Slops section
- Unhygienic bathrooms. Like magic players alone weren't the bile of the Earth!
- Scooping my teammate towards success TWICE with a deck that I've been winning like Charlie Sheen with and then him losing

[KevinTrudeau]

Seems better than that Eldrazi deck.

[Mark Sun]

I feel like I was on an acid trip the entire time I was reading this report.

Well done though, the list is pretty cool.

[J.V.]

Jer this was just ridiculous...

[bakofried]

Sweet report. It's like Hunter S. Thompson meets stream of consciousness.

[Pich]

Neurok Commando > Scroll Thief

[Rock Lee]

Neurok Commando > Scroll Thief

Shroud + Equipment = win

[GoboLord]

Scroll Thief + Lord of Atlantis = Win-Win

[Gaius Darkfire]

I watched your match with the Lands player, and I definitely echo your sentiments that it was a fantastic first game that was hugely entertaining to watch. The second game not so much, since you hated him out more effectively, but it was certainly solid.

Watching your deck in action, I was confused at the start since it was fairly different, but I really liked it and you piloted it well. Very entertaining read as well.

[death]

I smashed this deck with Dreadfolk on MWS. Good luck with the deck.

[warallthetimne]

Great report, i dont think i stopped laughing at this one. Ive been working on with your eldrazi list and im still having trouble with how it has such positive matchups but im willing to take off the troll mask and give someone props for trying to help friends out. If you come down to providence for the gp ive got to buy u a beer or a soda depending on ur age Rock.

[chags]

So your friend didn't get the byes? Slightly misleading title if so. Interesting looking deck, seems fine in small events but not sure about how good it is in a bigger event. Then again a lot of people said that about the 12 post list you have been working on and that seems to do alright.

[Nelis]

Scroll Thief + Lord of Atlantis = Win-Win

Cold-Eyed Selkie + Lord of Atlantis + Equipment = Moar Win

[Rock Lee]

Cold-Eyed Selkie + Lord of Atlantis + Equipment = Moar Win

Except Selkie already has islandwalk, and doesn't perform scroll thief's most important aspect, which is block things early.

[arcannys]

Shroud + Equipment = win

Shroud + Equipment = Game Loss XD