Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[Humphrey]

Stingscourger or Piledriver?

nice one


But when it comes to goblins, Id like to see a planeswalker:

Squee, Planeswalker 1RR

+1 put a 1/1 goblin token with haste into play
-2 deals X to target creature, where X is gobs in play
-4 exile target card from a random library, if its a goblin card you may cast it for free

loyalty 3

[Bed Decks Palyer]

nice one


But when it comes to goblins, Id like to see a planeswalker:

Squee, Planeswalker 1RR

+1 put a 1/1 goblin token with haste into play
-2 deals X to target creature, where X is gobs in play
-4 exile target card from a random library, if its a goblin card you may cast it for free, otherwise you may cast it.

loyalty 3

I like him!

[bruizar]

Stuffy, the Masochist (4)
Planeswalkers - Stuffy
Whenever a source deals damage to Stuffy Doll, add that many loyalty counters to Stuffy Doll instead.
-1 Stuffy deals damage to each opponent equal to the number of cards in hand in excess of four.
-1 Stuffy deals damage to each opponent equal to the number of cards in hand fewer than three.
-x Stuffy deals X damage distributed amongst any number of target creatures or players.
-6 Sacrifice Stuffy, put a Stuffy's Curse emblem into play that reads "Whenever an opponent moves from one phase to another, that player loses 1 life."

2 Loyalty

Art would be a picture of Stuffy in an electrical chair/throne, charging up as he gets damaged

[Bed Decks Palyer]

Unbalanced Wish

Sorcery

You may choose a card named
Armageddon, Balance or Cataclysm
you own from outside the game,
reveal that card, and put it into your hand.
Exile Unbalanced Wish.

"Thou shallt not kill."

[(nameless one)]

Unbalanced Wish

Sorcery

You may choose a card named
Armageddon, Balance or Cataclysm
you own from outside the game,
reveal that card, and put it into your hand.
Exile Unbalanced Wish.

"Thou shallt not kill."

You forgot Wrath of God in that pile.


This was my entry for Make the Card. Apparently it's too broken:

Consuming Knowledge

Enchantment

Skip your draw phase.

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose an opponent. That opponent looks at the top five card of your library and separates those cards into two piles faced down. Put one pile into your hand and exile the other face down.

[Quasim0ff]

You forgot Wrath of God in that pile.


This was my entry for Make the Card. Apparently it's too broken:

Consuming Knowledge

Enchantment

Skip your draw phase.

Skip your draw phase.*

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose an opponent. That opponent looks at the top five card of your library and separates those cards into two piles faced down. Put one pile into your hand and exile the other face down.*

Holy fuck, I'd love that card. That would be SO fun to play with!

[Bed Decks Palyer]

You forgot Wrath of God in that pile.

No, I didn't, and I loved to have Wrath inthere, but I liked the "A..., B..., C..." list.
But yes, you're right, it should use Wog next to (or instead of) Cataclysm.

This was my entry for Make the Card. Apparently it's too broken:

Consuming Knowledge

Enchantment

Skip your draw phase.

At the beginning of your upkeep, choose an opponent. That opponent looks at the top five card of your library and separates those cards into two piles faced down. Put one pile into your hand and exile the other face down.

I fear that this is broken. A repetable FoF? for three mana only?
Otoh you'd skip your draw and it makes nothing until your next upkeep...
IDK. There are other formats than Legacy, and I don't think that this would make a healthy Standard, but I still like the card!

[(nameless one)]

No, I didn't, and I loved to have Wrath inthere, but I liked the "A..., B..., C..." list.
But yes, you're right, it should use Wog next to (or instead of) Cataclysm.



I fear that this is broken. A repetable FoF? for three mana only?
Otoh you'd skip your draw and it makes nothing until your next upkeep...
IDK. There are other formats than Legacy, and I don't think that this would make a healthy Standard, but I still like the card!

But you don't see the cards that you pick. You just go which pile looks appetizing.

Do I go with the pile with one card that my opponent purposely put there or do I go with the pile with the four cards and hope for the best. Alternatively, your opponent can split the piles to 2/3 but having lands and lands for days would suck.

Its an awesome mindfuck game.

[Bed Decks Palyer]

But you don't see the cards that you pick. You just go which pile looks appetizing.

Do I go with the pile with one card that my opponent purposely put there or do I go with the pile with the four cards and hope for the best. Alternatively, your opponent can split the piles to 2/3 but having lands and lands for days would suck.

Its an awesome mindfuck game.

Unlike Necropotence, it's also quite better in multiples...

[Barook]

How about this hatebear:

Tax Investigator
Creature - Human Advisor
Vigilance
Spells can't be cast unless their mana cost was paid to cast them.
2/2

No more free counters, free Submerges, free Gitaxian Probes, Miracles, Cascade, suspended Visions, Omniscience shenanigans and flashback spells. Maybe I'm missing out a few things.

Question: Could you play artifacts under this?

[[SLAYER]chaos]

Would a cycle of lands like this be too powerful?

Land - Island

Tap: Add U to your mana pool

Tap: Pay 1 life to add W or B to your mana pool

Essentially Murmuring Bosk without the coming into play tapped clause.

[firebadmattgood]

How about this hatebear:

Tax Investigator
Creature - Human Advisor
Vigilance
Spells can't be cast unless their mana cost was paid to cast them.
2/2

No more free counters, free Submerges, free Gitaxian Probes, Miracles, Cascade, suspended Visions, Omniscience shenanigans and flashback spells. Maybe I'm missing out a few things.

Question: Could you play artifacts under this?

You could still pay phyrexian mana with life, as that's not an alternative casting cost. Yes, you could play things that cose under it.

[luckme10]

I was thinking about a creature that can both spread wither tokens. What about something like this?


Cancermancer
Creature - Human Wizard
T:Target creature gets a -1/-1 token. For every other creature with at least a -1/-1 token, proliferate.
"I'll be fine. It's just a little cold."
1/2

[Bed Decks Palyer]

Okee dokee, I know that it's not funny to quote myself, but I still think that this combinatory chart of mine offered some nice ideas. Like for example:

Opal Unicorn

Artifact Creature - Unicorn Construct

: Opal Unicorn becomes a non-creature
artifact until end of turn.

"Grokk, don't crash the statuette!
I... I like it. May I have it?"

_____________________________ 2/2


Basically an opposite to all the animated statues. Rules gurus, template this thing so that it works.

[dontbiteitholmes]

Would a cycle of lands like this be too powerful?

Land - Island

Tap: Add U to your mana pool

Tap: Pay 1 life to add W or B to your mana pool

Essentially Murmuring Bosk without the coming into play tapped clause.

I think WotC policy on lands is to not make things that are strictly an upgrade to basics, so yes this would be too strong.

[TheInfamousBearAssassin]

Good Black Planeswalker
2BB
Loyalty: 3
+1: Put a -1/-1 counter on each creature.
+1: Draw a card and lose 1 life.
-5: Exile all cards from target player's graveyard other than basic land cards. For each card exiled this way, search that player's library for all cards with the same name as that card and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library.

[Aggro_zombies]

Good Black Planeswalker
2BB
Loyalty: 3
+1: Put a -1/-1 counter on each creature.
+1: Draw a card and lose 1 life.
-5: Exile all cards from target player's graveyard other than basic land cards. For each card exiled this way, search that player's library for all cards with the same name as that card and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library.

I feel like the ultimate is at least one loyalty too cheap. -7 seems like it would be fair there given the mana cost and other abilities.

[Phoenix Ignition]

Good Black Planeswalker
2BB
Loyalty: 3
+1: Put a -1/-1 counter on each creature.
+1: Draw a card and lose 1 life.
-5: Exile all cards from target player's graveyard other than basic land cards. For each card exiled this way, search that player's library for all cards with the same name as that card and exile them. Then that player shuffles his or her library.

Based off of the Chandra, Pyromaster level of quality, I think the middle one would have to be +0. Her ability isn't even as good as a draw card, and I don't think the minus life balances that.

[TheInfamousBearAssassin]

I feel like the ultimate is at least one loyalty too cheap. -7 seems like it would be fair there given the mana cost and other abilities.

Fine fine.

[TheInfamousBearAssassin]

Based off of the Chandra, Pyromaster level of quality

Maybe you didn't see the card name.