[Report] A tale of two monkeys

[Parcher]

I began to decide I was not going to play Loam/Confinement only about
a week before the Duel. While I was highly dissapointed I coud not
get the cards for the last tournament, I came to realize that the
deck could not reasonably win a large percentage of it's matches in
50 minutes.

While I had booked both a hotel room, and a rental car(mine is too
old to trust to something this important)a month ahead of time, I was
left stuggling for a deck to play in the actual tournament. I
eventually landed on U/G/w Threshold, knowing it's power and
consistancy, and liking the Aggro-Control role.

My first problem became finding anyone to test with. None of the
local players run Legacy decks, and I found that while I could
basically goldfish the deck on MWS, it really never had a meta decks
for me to play against. I ended up having to two-hand test and hope
that would be enough.

Wanting to beat the beltway rush hour, I left Rockville around 2pm on
Friday. Unfortunately, the ensuing monsoon slowed traffic to a crawl
for the entire length of Route 66, and I arrived at my hotel in
Roanoke, exhausted, over four hours later.

I sat down after dinner, and analyzed my worst matchups. Besides
Goblins and cerrtain board control decks I had already addressed in
my sideboard, my two biggest concerns were Affinity, and Faerie
Stompy varients. Chalice of the Void was a bitch, and contrary to
what I had been told, Engineered Explosives had proven dead in many
of my testing matchups. I scoured my binders looking for a card that
dealt both with Chalice, and Affinity, and yet was not dead in the
main deck.

Sigh. Here is where I screw it all up. Either I was channeling Jamie
Wakefield, or listening to Infectious Groove's "Feed the Monkey" over
and over had warped my tiny little mind.(My monkey don't bite! My
monkey don't scratch! My monkey don't swing no tree!)

I took out a Portent and a Predict, and added two Uktabi Orangutan,
then went to bed.

4 Werebear
4 Nimble Mongoose
3 Meddling Mage
2 Uktabi Orangutan

4 Brainstorm
4 Serum Visions
3 Portent
3 Predict

4 Force of Will
3 Daze
3 Counterspell

4 Swords to Plowshares
2 Pithing Needle

4 Flooded Strand
2 Windswept Heath
1 Polluted Delta
4 Tropical Island
3 Tundra
2 Island
1 Forest

4 Hydroblast
3 Jotun Grunt
2 Armageddon
2 Divert
2 Naturalize
1 Pithing Needle
1 Mystic Enforcer

Other than the obvious Sex Monkey mistake, I would add a Mystic to
the main deck, along with a basic Plains, and switch the Hydroblasts
with Tivadars' if I ran this again.

I rose early on Saturday, and lamented my idiocy over brewing coffee.
But, while en route to the event centre, I reflected on how I had
little experience with the deck, and this would give me an excuse when
I lost. So I left them in, with a brighter attitude toward my idiocy.

I arrive early, and chat with Anusien and Klep about how I have the
worst Thresh deck, while adamantly refusing to reveal why. "If you
see me actually play it, I'll be winning", is my only answer. The
NOVA crew arrives late, wet, and grumpy after spending the night at a
nearby campground. I'm a little worried about the amount of Goblins I
see sleeving up, but I know for certain that this mana base can't
support Tivadar's Crusdade through Port and Wasteland.

Round One: Shaheen Sooriani(AliCairo); Aluren(Old Extended style)

Great. I have to play one of the only two people I know here. Shaheen
and I are acquainted from playing in the same area, though he
from Extended format, and myself from Limited. As good a player as I know he
is, with his tendencies, I am thoroughly unafraid of whatever deck he
might be playing.

Game One: Shaheen opens with a Birds, and I am puzzled until a Wall
of Blossoms comes down to block. Unfortunately for him, I had counters
for Aluren until it is late. He empties his hand to empty mine, then
plays Aluren the next turn. Unfortunately, I topdecked the Plow for
his Raven, and we go to game two.

Game two: This took about half an hour. Both Shaheen and I ran 17
lands. At turn sixteen, I have one in play, and he had eleven. And two
Birds. He forced two cantrips to keep me off, and I forced a Wall and
an Intution to allow my first turn Mongoose to keep beating for one.
He eventually got an Aluren into play at seven life, and still had to
go to one to kill me.

Game three: He got off the Intution for triple Therapy, but couldn't
combo off in time.

Record 0-0-1

Round Two: Kevin Binswanger(Anusien); U/B/r/g Tog with Cunning Wish.

Game One: Yippeee!!! I have to play the only other person I know!
Fuck you DCI Reporter! We knew what each other was playing, and I won
the roll. This gave me turn one Needle on Deed, turn two Mage on Wish, and then
a Needle on Tog. The game was fairly quick.

Game Two: Another half hour game. I am unable to keep a threat, and
he keeps digging. He eventually gets off a Fact or Fiction to reveal
Echoes, AK(one in the yard), FoF, Intution, and [irrelevant]. After a
long decision for me, he takes the Echoes, and resolves it. With
all of his Togs still live, I scoop it up.

Game Three: I bust out quickly with Grunt and Mage, but a resolved
Tog keeps the beats at bay long enough for the match to end. Sigh.

Record 0-0-2

Round Three:(Unknown); Snakes (no, really.)

Game One: I guess this is what you face in the 2 point bracket. He
kept casting Sousuke's Summons, and other snakes to get it back. A
resolved Mage ends that nonsense, and I win in short order.

Game Two: I take a long time drawing no creatures, but have
countermagic for everything he does. Eventually I cast Armegeddon,
and Portent him long enough to win.

Record 1-0-2

Round Four: (Unknown); Mono-Red Goblins

Game One: I get rolled in six turns. Easily.

Game Two: I get a nice hand on the play with a first turn Needle on
Vial, and a second turn Plow for his lackey. On his second turn, he
resolves a Chalice of the Void for one. Shortly after I scoop my jaw
off the floor, I scoop up my cards.

On a side note, thinking about Chalice; It's a good idea for Goblins
against both Solidarity and Threshold, as the two slot is dead for
them, and they should mulligan a hand without of first turn Vial or
Lackey anyway.

Record 1-1-2

Round Five: Calosso Fuentes(Calosso); Goblin Sligh

Game One: I'm sure he's playing something red, though he assures me
it's not Goblins. An Akki Raider confirms this. Unfortunately, I draw
ass, and rolls me fairly easily.

Game Two: Calosso tries hard to lose this one for me, and I oblige.
With a Pillar on the table, he Alpha strikes with two Akkis, a
Piledriver, Fanatic, and Lackey versus my two Mongeese and a
Werebear. Before he sacs some lands to pump enough to kill blockers,
he floats mana. I Naturalize the Pillar in response. He lets that
resolve before the pump, or damage stacking, and bolts my Bear(the
only creature of mine that would have survived). I Divert it to his
Akki, and he scoops.

Game Three: A second Pillar slows me down considerably after I
Naturalize the first. With lots of creatures on both sides, he
decides to Alpha Strike again with me at six, and having just cast an
Enforcer. I Plow a Werebear after stacking damage to go to one, as I
didn't want to lose my Enforcer, and Calosso loses his team. With a
Pillar out, and me at one, he gets one turn to draw a bolt, but two
swings from the Mystic win it.

Record 2-1-2

Round 6: For the life of me, I can't remember. My notes say I won
2-0, but that's it.

Record 3-1-2

Round 7: I'm sorry, I should have written his name, but since he was
playing Solidarity, he was the only one keeping notes.

Game One: I open with a resolved Mage on Tide. He casts four
consecutive Brainstorms(!), and never drops a Fetch. After I win on
like turn eight he shows me the three High Tides in his hand. Worst.
Draw. Ever.

Game Two: This actually came close, and showed me what a real
advantage Threshold has over Solidarity. I have a Mage on Tide
agains, but he has six land, and both the Turnabout to go off on his
turn, and the Echoing Truth to bounce in hand. I cast a second Mage,
he Impulses in response, getting a Force. He then casts Peek, thinks
about it for a while, and scoops. We went over it for quite a while.
He only had two mana open after the Peek, and I had four. If he
forced the Mage, I had a Geddon. If he bounced the other Mage in
response, I could just re-name High Tide, and he didn't have a Reset.
Or if he let the Mage resolve, I could just name Force, and push
through the Geddon anyway. It was a good game from a nice guy.

So I end up 4-1-2. Feh. I gues I can't be dissapointed with my play,
but the deck choices I made were retarded.

It was very cool meeting most of the Source members, and I was
pleasantly suprised at how almost all of them were much friendlier in
person than they are on the boards. Thanks to Alix for his advice, to
Scott for his jokes, and to Kevin for just being a generally nice guy.

Two last things. One, Calosso isn't nearly the douchebag he's made
out to be. He's just young, and overly excitable. He makes occasional
mistakes because of this, but is at least fun to play. Two, I do have
a Day two report, which is actually more entertaining, but I'm not
posting it until Anusien gets decklists up.

No one who wasn't there would belive the deck I played otherwise.

In my defense, I made it at one in the moring on Saturday while
watching Real Sex on HBO, so my judgement was cloudy. Once I fix all
the problems in the build, the deck will house.

Oh, and on a more recent note. My opponent did scoop to Peek, but he also cast it.