DON'T GO CRAZY AND POST IN HERE
This thread is for information regarding the event, like (when we get to it) the schedule of games, the lists that will be played, et cetera.
News (this will be updated as often as is necessary:
- The Source's own Nihil Credo will be my opponent. I think he'll add a certain legitimacy to the project.
- We need to finalize the 64 decks as soon as possible. Then I'll use good ol' Microsoft Excel to randomize the shit out of it, then we'll start it up.
Rules of the game:
- Nihil and I will be getting together as often as possible once we finalize the lists.
- Usual 3 game rounds, single elimination.
- We'll be trying to post the lists of the decks that will be played around 24 hours in advance so the list could be changed (minimally) to the most optimal.
- Results will be posted (maybe even with cool screen shots even) at our convenience.
In short: Minimal deck development (probably best via-PM's and Nihil and I will get back to you more officially) kept exclusively to the other thread. And we'll get started as soon as we can.
PM Lists that we ask for to lonelybaritone; DO NOT POST THEM
Nihil and I will decide what's good, ask for your help if we need it, and do our thing.
Last edited by Zach Tartell; 06-25-2008 at 04:53 PM.
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
Originally Posted by herbig
Here are the brackets:
And the second:
Last edited by Zach Tartell; 06-29-2008 at 09:06 PM.
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
Also, the matches are being video-recorded (although only from my side), and they will gradually get put online. A couple of games were lost by mistake, but from now on there shouldn't be any more problems.
They're encoded with x.264, a codec which proved ridiculously efficient at screen capture (75 kb per minute). If you can't watch the videos with any program, Google and install "ffdshow", that should do the trick (at least with Windows Media Player).
Or just use VideoLAN, which works with everything.
Last edited by Nihil Credo; 09-05-2008 at 03:55 PM.
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
OH SHIT TOURNAMENT MATCHES:
Round 1: Train Wreck v. Eternal Garden
Game 1 - Train Wreck mops the floor with Gardens. Fun plays include Trainwreck Hymn-ing away two Intuitions, followed by Gardens topdecking the third. Oona ends it in two turns after a failed Smokestack try around turn eight or ten.
Game 2 - Luck didn't favor Gardens again. A first turn Thoughtseize hits Intuition, and Gardens just kind of plays with top while Train Wreck drops two Faerie Macabres and a Korlash to beat for the win. Dismal.
Edit: What part of "Don't post here" didn't you understand?
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
Round 1: Pox vs. RGBSA
Game 1: Pox keeps consistently hitting Survival with discard and denial while getting beaten by a pair of guys, then gets rid of those guys as well and follows up with a Tombstalker for the win.
Game 2: Survival out-discards Pox, which keeps drawing double-colored stuff while stuck on a Mox and a Factory. Pox has an opportunity to get back into the game by casting its namesake at one point, but its pilot throws it to the wind and it's soon over.
Game 3: Survival sits on three fetchlands while Pox patiently beats with a pair of Factories. When it's at six, it uses those fetchlands and plays its namesake, chumpblocks a Factory with a Big Game Hunter, then untaps and plays Spike Feeder. However, a Smallpox from Pox is still lethal.
Last edited by Nihil Credo; 06-27-2008 at 05:42 PM.
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
(GBW Survival 2-0)
Game 1 was pretty boring; Survival powered out its namesake after a Force and Witness, Breakfast was stuck on 1 land for most of the game. After the combo came together (next turn) a Swords to Plowshares sent Breakfast's hopes farming at the small price of one life.
Game two was probably a bit more exciting, for a second. A mulligan from Breakfast left a pretty solid hand, but the turn one thoughtseize walked into Extirpate, Bayou, Wooded Foothills, Yixlid Jailer, Survival of the Fittest, Tarmogoyf, and Thoughtseize. Disappointing. An Extirpate later netted 1 Illusionist from breakfast's yard, hand, and two from the deck. Using Worldly Tutor Breakfast made a valliant attempt at win-ery, but Survival just outclassed Breakfast's 1/1's and meager Goyf.
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
(Merfolk 2-1)
Game 1 was looking good for Voroshstill until Merfolk topdecked one of their Back to Basics; a Seasinger steals Vorosh's Goyf and swings with it for the win.
Game 2 includes two Plagues and a scoop.
Game 3 moves slowly for both players. Merfolk resolves a Counterbalance that dominates Vorosh (as too frequently all three cards on top are 3cc. No EOT Krosan Grip for Zach). Nihil ploughs through a single plague with 3 Lords to win.
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
Ur Dreadstill 2-0 MUC
Game 1: Dreadstill is on the play, forces down a Standstill and gets some double-Factory damage in. A Back to Basics gets Dazed, a Shackles is allowed to resolve because Dreadstill has both a Needle and a Trickbind in hand. Needle is resolved next turn, then MUC digs with a pair of Fact or Fictions for the Engineered Explosives. He finds it the turn before dying, it gets Trickbinded, and that's it.
Game 2: Dreadstill starts again with a (this time single) Factory for the beats. MUC counters a couple of Trinket Mages, cantrips a bit, then loses the counter-war over a Vedalken Shackles. Then MUC draws crap while Dreadstill resolves a Standstill and keeps beating for two. MUC eventually Facts into a 1-4 split to take a Morphling, but the Morphling doesn't resolve either.
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
(RGB Flow Madness 2-0)
Distance from Sparta was used to choose who was to play Madness; I giggled like a little girl for about five minutes at my own joke while Nihil kicked my ass.
Game 1: Affinity dropped its hand (save a Thoughtcast and Somber Hoverguard for lack of blue mana) early, but was outclassed threats once the second Tarmogoyf hit the table. Notable occurence: Three Aether Vials in play by turn 4.
Game 2: Affinity is Duressed turn 1, losing its Cranial Plating. Madness drops a Chrome Mox to dodge the two Spheres in Affinity's hand, passes the turn. The game moves slowly until Madness starts to drop a Goyf and Oona's Prowler. I manage to pop out a Ravager that gets Gripped, then lucksack into a second. He pyroclasms, and the second Ravager keeps me alive at 2 until Nihil rips a Terminate and swings in for the win. After I'd sacrificed all of my land to Ravager (he was like a 7/7) Nihil dropped a Flow. It's a pretty good deck (and thorn Affinity isn't).
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
(RW Goblins 2-0)
This round was capitol-D Dismal. Restrictive mana costs + Wasteland (or 1 land under Port). Game 1 included Eva Green drawing three land, two being wasted and one being ported. Game two was looking great; one Plague, some fat in hand, and other greatness. Siege-gang commander came down and stopped the fun; two goblins during the upkeep brought Eva from 4 to 0. (The Italian word for weak is pronounced "Skee-Faw.")
UWb Wish Still (2-1)
Game 1 is like a normal Landstill game, as far as I can tell; D&T dropped quick beats that were allowed to sit around for a turn or two, then destoryed. Landstill stabilized at 4, Wished for a Pulse of the Fields, got back up to 14, and beat slowly with a factory. Even a Cataclysm turn six or eight didn't help D&T that much. 25 lands FTW.
Game 2 was more interesting (that is to say Landstill lost). Some solid back-and-forth action over a Gaddok Teeg (assisted by a Karakas) ended up where Landstill had 0 counters in hand while a Jitte'd Avenger beat down FTW.
Game 3 was stupid. D&T mulled to 5, kept a 0 lander (hoping to grab some to keep its otherwise solid hand together) and scooped with 0 permenants when Landstill Decreed for 4 sodiers. Not much fun for anybody.
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
Burn (2-1)
Game 1 Involves a Tarmogoyf and other bad things for burn. Burn boarded oddly, I suppose; -4 Flamebreak for 4 Pyrostatic Pilar, reasoning that nothing would die to it anyway (stupid Tarmogoyf) but that Pilar would hurt more in the long run anyway.
Game 2 Was solid. Burn had a Fireblast T-siezed, then dropped like 3 Riftbolts, and a Pilar. A Mogg Fanatic and Incinerate to the face ends it for Deadguy.
Game 3: Deadguy mulls to 4, thoughtsiezes turn 1, eventually resolves a Goyf, and loses to a million burn spells.
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
It's The Fear 2-0 Faerie Stompy
G1: FS keeps a very sketchy hand (Drifter, FoW, Needle), and while his creature go farming he lands a Needle on Top (only a Tundra and a fetch had been seen from ITF yet) and a backbreaking Chalice@2. Alas, things do not last forever and while FS draws almost no pressure It's The Fear manages to get rid of the Chalice, drop a Goyf, and protect it all the way.
G2: Chalice from FS resolves. Efreet beats for a turn, a SoLS is countered, then Deed is played. Faerie FoWs, ITF FoWs back, and FS's board is decimated. Another Efreet starts beating for a while, but then ITF drops and activates Shackles, following up with two Goyfs. FS draws a late Trinket Mage, a Sea Drake has to chumpblock, and dies two turns later.
Last edited by Nihil Credo; 06-30-2008 at 06:41 PM.
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
NQS 2-1 Solidarity
Game 1: A Counterbalance lands for NQS, as well as a 2/3 Tarmogoyf and then a Dark Confidant, but thankfully no Top. Solidarity has no Cunning Wish, so it goes cantripping more or less as usual and sets up to combo around a blind Balance. The sequence on the critical turn is: High Tide (Cbalance reveals land, resolves), Reset, NQS-Brainstorm in response, Turnabout in response, Fow on Turnabout, Remand on Reset, Spellstutter Sprite targeting Brainstorm into a second targeting Reset, Flash of Insight flashbacked with the last two mana to find a FoW that targets the FoW on Turnabout. Then Solidarity goes off for a bit and eventually ends up with Cunning Wish, Flash of Insight, and nine mana to kill NQS. This requires more cards, so Solidarity goes for a Meditate, which however doesn't give what it was looking for. It's over to G2.
(Aside: I'm kicking myself for misclicking and losing the video of Game 1. It was one of those beautiful Solidarity counter-wars with ten different objects on the stack and arrows flying all over. A pity.)
Game 2: NQS uses two Dazes to force a turn two Counterbalance through a Remand and a Force; Solidarity recharges with a Meditate next turn, which gets then Extirpated. A turn later Solidarity is at four lands and NQS passes with the board empty save for the Balance; EOT Impulse causes a Counterbalance reveal of Chrome Mox. Solidarity goes for it, Forcing a sneaky Brainstorm along the way, until its final Flash of Insight for bazillion gets countered by a now-hardcast (thanks to the last, necessary, High Tide) Force of Will. Unfortunately for NQS, the last card in Solidarity's hand was the Brain Freeze for 42 cards of 45.
Game 3: Turn two Counterbalance meets Spell Snare. Eternal Witness into Counterbalance meets a second, which meets FoW, which meets another FoW. NQS goes for Confidant, which elicits an Impulse in response, and Solidarity decides to Spell Snare that as well, but it gets Dazed. Solidarity decides to try and go off on the last possible turn, but, quite simply, fizzles.
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
GOD CANNOT SAVE YOU FROM 'FOREST, GO.'!!!!! (Berserk stompy 2-0)
Game 1:
Skyshroud Elite. Rancor, swing for 4, drop seal of Strength. Untap, forest, Seal of strength, Might of old Krosa, swing. "Block with Goyf." "Seal, seal, Berserk, take 32 (after goyf soak)."
Game 2:
Sea, go. Forest, go. Land, Counterbalance, go. Rushwood Legate (that's the "free if your opponent controls an Island dude) Reveal a 'goyf. Rancor the Legate, go. Land, Goyf, pass the turn. Land, bait Counterbalance with a Silhiana Ledgewalker (relveal Protean Hulk, Force the Ledgewalker). Swing. "No blocks." Invigorate, Invigorate, Berserk. He's at 23 off of a fetch and a force, the damage is 24.
This deck is unstoppable.
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
The Spanish Inquisition 2-0 GWB Rock
Surprisingly, a fairly interactive match.
G1: TSI fires off two Contracts on turn 1, then ends up one mana short of a good Tendrils and passes with a full hand. Rock Thoughtseizes away a Ritual. TSI Tutors for a second Tendrils and passes. Rock Thoughtseizes the remaining Tutor and plays a Village. TSI dumps most of its hand into a Tendrils for four storm (life totals become 13-7 for TSI). Rock attacks once. TSI topdecks a Contract which gives enough mana for a second finishing Tendrils.
G2: Rock has Thoughtseize (taking Tutor) into a Confidant. TSI empties its hand into blocking robots and double Confidant. Rock Witnesses back and plays Thoughtseize, then plays a Deed, which wipes most of the board. This enables TSI's Cabal Rituals which, with the help of Rock's own Confidant, fuel a lethal Tendrils.
Intuition Welder Survival 2-0 Imperial Aluren
G1: Aluren Forces IWS's turn 1 Survival, then makes land drops waiting to drop the combo in hand. On turn 2, Survival Intuitions for 3 Cabal Therapy, the first of which (on Deed) whiffs while the others empty Aluren's hand. Aluren topdecks its namesake, but then nothing else while IWS drops a Welder and a Survival and goes to town.
G2: IWS goes turn 1 Birds, turn two Thoughtseize into Survival. It disrupts Aluren's combo once with Therapies, then again after a lucky topdeck from Aluren by dropping a Wispmare in response from Imperial Recruiter (Aluren couldn't play around it because there were more Therapies in IWS's graveyard).
Affinity 2-1 Karach
G1: Cantrips are good matchmakers. Plating, meet Oblivion Ring. Modular and Disciple, meet Wheel of Sun and Moon. Everyone but the Nexus, meet Moat. Opponent, meet two Zurs (one is killed by a Blast) and two Hoofprints of the Stag. After a bit of playing around Flings the Elementals swing for lethal.
G2: Disciple, meet Swords. Atog, meet Oblivion Ring. Ravager, meet FoW. Plating, meet Aura of Silence, she was in play waiting for you already. Everyone, meet Hoofprints of the Stag, don't they and Top make a nice pair? Future possible threats, meet a pair of Runed Halos. Topdecked Ravager, meet this other Force of Wi...
... who said "Ok, resolves"?
WHO SAID THAT?
WHO THE FUCK SAID THAT?
WHO'S THE SLIMY GRABASTIC PIECE OF AMPHIBIAN SHIT THAT JUST SIGNED HIS OWN DEATH WARRANT?
Dear Fucking Satan: If I Had To Make A Truly Obvious Idiotic Blunder In This Tournament, Did It Really Have To Be With My Own Underpowered-But-Oh-So-Cool Deck That Was Just About To Win The Blastittothethousandabyssesresonatingwiththecriesofabortedbabyunicorns Match?
G3: Affinity lands Winter Orbs on turn 2 and 3, threatening to keep it in the early-game. Karach lands a Top and an Energy Field, threatening to teleport to the late-game; four land drops later Affinity manages to get rid of it by Flinging away a Meddling Mage. Karach digs again with Top, but the life-saving Moat is one turn away from being able to get played.
shitshitshitpissshitshitspisspisspissshitshitshiteatitdiediediediediediediedie
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
Reanimator 2-1 43 Lands
G1 Reanimator has a double-Simic Sky Swallower draw. That's GG, right? Nope, because the Reanimator pilot waits an extra turn before going in EOT Discard mode, then fetches one more land than necessary, and 43 Lands manages to hit Tabernacle + Ghost Quarter full-on lock, despite the six basic lands in the deck.
G2: A fast Akroma, a Crypt, and no Maze spell GG.
G3: Again Akroma, but this time 43 Lands has the Maze and even a Chalice@0 for Crypt (which should have really been dropped on turn 1). This is followed by a lot of draw-pass, while Lands keeps Reanimator tied up with Ports, preventing Wipe Away or Tidespout Tyrant from hitting the board. Eventually, however, Reanimator topdecks a Needle ftw.
Also, lesson of the day: never play with full-art cards when you have never touched the deck in your life. For some reason, I was absolutely sure that Reanimate was an instant...
We then agree to do the rounds counterclockwise rather than straight top-down, because I'm in the middle of exams and in no shape to pilot Fetchland Tendrils.
TES 2-1 Demon Stompy
G1: Turn 1 face-up Grinning Demon, turn 2 Phyrexian Rager is all the offense that Demon Stompy mounts up, but it's enough as TES Diminishing Returns and then Infernal Contracts into a hand with five tutors and one mana less than needed for the kill.
G2: Karma is fair, as TES does the IGG loop on turn 1.
G3: Demon Stompy has a turn 1 Priest of Gix into Trinisphere and a pair of morphs to follow. TES, however, Shattering Sprees on turn 2 with the help of a monkey and then on turn 3 Diminishing Returns into a kill.
Swan&Moon Threshold 2-1 5C Sliver Survival
G1: A sliver gets Dazed, a Sliver gets countered, a Sliver gets burned, a Sliver gets burned, and a few guys march in for the kill over another couple of tiny Slivers.
G2: Hilarious series of misplays from Thresh as it keeps a hand on the strength of FoW + Blood Moon, then a) forgets that you must have a Volcanic before casting Blood Moon; b) lets Crystalline resolve, making its topdecked non-Pyroclasm burn dead. Blood Moon turns out to be useless anyway thanks to a Gemhide Sliver and an Aether Vial, and a land-heavy draw makes it impossible to recover from those mistakes.
G3: Thresh again deals with a couple of Slivers and a Survival, lays a Counterbalance, drops Swans, FoWs a StP (slight misplay as it could have been Balanced), then next turn draws a million cards. The Lightning Storm has been sided out, but dropping a Clasm and then keeping Bolt-Bolt-Bolt-Force-Force-Swans-Swans works just as well.
Canadian Thrash 2-0 Feinstein Elves
G1: Elves sees blue duals and decides to bet on its multiple Wastelands to carry the day; unfortunately, Thrash Ponders into two triple-landers twice and puts its Fire/Ices to good use.
G2: Every threat of Elves gets dealed with, with the exception of a Thorn of Amethyst which doesn't do much without its sister. A pair of Mongeese beat from 20, while a Goyf and another Bolt comfortably wait in reserve.
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
CounterSliver 2-0 RBg Goblins
G1: CounterSliver Swords and Dazes a total of three Goblins, meanwhile Vialing in triple Hibernation Sliver and following with a Sinew. Goblins is quickly forced on the defensive, with Hibernation Sliver causing some pretty bad trades. Topdecked Winged Sliver ftw.
G2: Goblins has to keep a weak five-carder, while Slivers has a solid opening of Crystalline, Sinew, Winged, Sinew, only needing to Daze a Weirding along the way to get an easy win.
Domain Zoo 2-0 Wild Zombies
G1: Zombies mulls to five and misses a couple of land drops, then uses Zombie Infestation (pitching non-recursive crap) to block a Swiftblade twice. The next Swiftblade goes unblocked, and Might is lethal alongside a Goyf and some burn.
G2: Again Zombies mulls to five and then misses the second land drops twice. Meanwhile Zoo has a Confidant, a pair of Tarmos, and a Jitte to easily fend off their attempts to get back into the game.
Faeries 2-0 Imperial Painter
G1: Imperial Painter resolves a pair of Servants and a Shusher, then gets absolutely raped by Enlightened Tutor -> EE@2. Meanwhile Faeries' Ancestral Visions resolve allowing them to assemble Counter/Top, then they drop some tribal stuff that stops the Imperial Recruiter beats and fly over for the kill.
G2: Painter opens with a simple Grindstone, but then resolves a Magus that leaves Faeries on just one basic Island, and then another. Faeries however has a Scion of Oona (REB'd), then a second Island and a Vendilion Clique, which blocks a Magus and is championed by Mistbind, then another two Scions to kill Painter in just two turns, while the red deck sees neither Painter nor Recruiter.
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
4C Landstill 2-1 Goyf Sligh
G1: It actually looked like a game until Price of Progress resolved.
G2: Landstill draws an absolutely ridiculous number of cards and drops a Tombstalker that kills Sligh while backed up by infinite countermagic.
G3: Not quite as many counters or draw as in G2, but 1 Tombstalker and 4x Mishra's Factory beat FTW.
The Mighty Quinn 2-1 Sun Tower
G1: Quinn draws some of its twenty dead cards while Sun Tower sets up the Smokestack lock basically unimpeded.
G2: The game was shaping out to be very interesting, with ST Jester's Capping away 60% of Quinn's win conditions while Quinn drops a crapload of permanents in play, but then MWS crashes. Pity.
G2bis: Turn 2 Chant-lock for Quinn. ST has the Chalice@1 ready, but Quinn gets up to its fifth land drops and plays Oblivion Ring for the win.
G3: Turn 4 Chant-lock for Quinn. Yawn.
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
OMG THE SKY IS FALLING (no, it's not, Belcher wins 2-0)
Game 1: Oh, aydunno, I suppose I'll belch you for like 38. Does that fit your schedule?
Game 2: A valliant attempt to live (turn 3 unsustainable Confinement on Loam's part) is backed up by three goyfs. Insult got a new roomie named Injury (I'm pretty sure that's a pakistani surname) when the 28 or so warrens tokens turn sideways, stack combat damage, belcher for eighty something. Fun fun.
Ichorid vs. Enchantress (Enchantress 2-0)
Game 1: Ichorid drops 5 cabal therapies in 4 turns, taking most of Enchantress's relevant spells, but having multiple copies of recycle on the board (that's my poor joke at saying I have 3 Enchantress effects in play by turn 4) refills Enchantress' hand (with like 11 land and a replenish) after an Elephant Grass hits the table (scoopx0rz).
Game 2: Ichorid mounts an honorable effort, but double Grove lock assisted by a couple Elephant Grasses and a Confinement ends it.
Baseruption vs. RGB Loam (Loam 2-0)
Game 1: Baseruption's terrible manabase doesn't end up being that much of an issue (only a solitary Wasteland on the first of two Tropical Islands); Counterbalance Lock comes up pretty quick (at 2, but 3 is tough to lock down). Three Tarmogoyfs fall down in front of way bigger threats, until a 12/12 Terravore meets a Swords. Volrath's Stronghold hits the table, and Baseruption stabilizes after a second Swords sends a 15/15 'Vore farming. The Shadowmage Finkeltrator and Dark Confidant on Baseruption's side end up losing too much life (being so late there are few 0 cost cards) and scoops it up to revealing a fourth Tarmogoyf. It was an epic game.
Game 2: Shit was pretty boring. A turn 2 Meddling Mage shuts down LFTL, which was an awesome 10 turn clock. An early Blood Moon gets Forced, stripping Baseruption's hand of anything relevant (turns out Chrome Mox sucks after turn 2). Counter/Top doesn't do much with 0 and 1 casting cost spells on top (but, oh, boy, TES would have been fucked) Three Terravores in consecutive turns really run the train on Baseruption (Yeah. get rid of that mental image). Extirpate sucks when it isn't on LFTL, which is awesome to name with Meddling Mage, but kind of conflicts strats. Anyway, game 1 rocked, game 2 was pretty weak.
We expect to return to games Friday.
The E.P.I.C. Syndicate: I mean, if they play a lullaby for babies they should at least play the Monster Mash when somebody dies.
Elephant Stompy 2-0 5C Thresh
Game 1: Turn 1 Chalice on the play resolves bending Thresh over in a highly sexual way. It's followed by some Call of the Herd action which is kept in place by a Daze and then outclassed by a pair of ol' Goyfs. Eventually Stompy finds some more mana and begins to lay down its four-drops and a Jitte; it's getting dangerously low on life, but Jitte hits four counters the turn right before a big-ass Enforcer would have appeared.
Also, somewhere in this mess a Goyf was totally Giant Growthed into the death bin by a Lorwyn uncommon.
Game 2: Stompy drops some threats and beats. Thresh destroys a few, drops some better threats and beats. Stompy drops a Chameleon Colossus that holds the fort as an 8/8 and then plays Abyss as a 16/16, and then this particular Abyss gets tired of creatures and goes for the player himself.
Dragon Stompy 2-0 Draco Explosion
Game 1: Turn 1 Chalice on the play resolves bending Draco Explosion over in a highly sexual way. Unlike Thresh, Dracoplosion has no Goyfs to hold the fort, and all it manages to accomplish is a random Erratic Explosion for 1.
Game 2: Forces of Will handle the worst of Dragon Stompy's hosers, but at the cost of leaving Dracoplosion with very little search. Rebuild is used to buy time in the face of a highly annoying Jitte, but Taurean Mauler and Gathan Raiders still go the distance, unhampered by the defensive use of a spare Erratic Explosion, and the second one to the head doesn't hit Draco. Amusingly, a Draco was right on top of the library after the first Explosion had resolved, but unfortunately there was a draw step in the middle.
Sui Black 2-1 I Will Survive
Game 1: Discard, Extirpate and a Smother deal with the actual threats, while a pair of Negators trample all over IWS's dinky 1/1s.
Game 2: While both players are in serious flood, Saffi (after an extraplanar voyage) beats for a shit-ton more points than it should have in the face of double Factory. Eventually IWS topdecks Survival, which more than makes up for the previous flood, and goes off comfortably.
Game 3: 4 Wastes and 4 Factories are cool and all, but sometimes you pay for them with double mulligans. Meanwhile IWS drops three little 1/1s, kind of protected by a Dust Elemental in hand, and inflicts some highly annoying damage. At the price of some more life, however, Sui Black manages to get out of the screw with double Confidant.
Some spot removal and a pair of Powder Kegs wrath the board, and then it's again The Phyrexian Negator Versus A Bunch Of 1/1 Show. Fun, but the ending was kinda obvious.
Fetchland Tendrils 2-1 Super Gro
Game 1: Two Orim's Chants in successive turns break through the intimidating barrier of double Daze.
Game 2: FT has an opening hand with two lands and everything needed to go off except for Chant, then draws a half-dozen lands straight and no manipulation. Forced to go off, it disables Stifle with Wipe Away on the one untapped land, then is left at least one Storm short of a lethal Tendrils, and several mana short of chaining Infernal Tutors to provide said storm. Gro doesn't fall for the bait and ends the turn at one life.
Game 3: Thanks to a redundant Mystical Tutor eating a Force and a lucky Ponder into an extra Dark Ritual, FT manages to resolve a Chant one turn earlier than anticipated, and pain follows.
(Yes, we totally forgot about Goyf Dreadstill vs. Armageddon Stax. That's because nobody likes Stax, you know.)
YOU'RE GIVING ME A TIME MACHINE IN ORDER TO TREAT MY SLEEP DISORDER.
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