Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[MMogg]

Naturalize is generally mono-green these days. White can sometimes get slower, more expensive ones with a bonus attached. Something like:

Disenchantment Grove
Land
~ enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add to your mana pool.
, T, Sacrifice ~: Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

I don't think this is so broken. Any deck that could/would abuse it with some kind of recursion would easily have threshold anyway. I think the "enters the battlefield tapped" clause is enough to render it nearly unplayable in aggro decks. I like this card, actually, and think it's quite good and balanced. Let's face it, with Legacy combo decks going off on turn 2 or even 1, I don't think a turn two disenchant land is going to break the environment.

[Barook]

Disenchantment Grove
Land
~ enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add to your mana pool.
, T, Sacrifice ~: Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Looks balanced to me due to Citp.

New card:
Hero of Dawn
Creature - Human Knight
Vigilance
Whenever damage which would be dealt to Hero of Dawn is prevented, put a +1/+1 counter on Hero of Dawn.
: Knight of Dawn gains protection from the color of your choice until end of turn.
2/2

I'm not sure if it's the correct wording for the second abiliy, but e.g. if you Healing Salve a Lightning Bolt, it would gain +1/+1 counter and not 3 counters.

[Nonex]

Maybe something like "Whenever damage that would be dealt to Hero of Dawn by a single source is prevented, put a +1/+1 counter on Hero of Dawn." just to make it clear in cases like multiple blockers.

Would the following card have potential?

Impulsive Thoctar
Creature - Beast
When Impulsive Thoctar is put into your graveyard from anywhere, look at the top four cards of your library. Put one of them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library.
4/4

[thefreakaccident]

Flash

1U

Instant

If you have a creature card named protean hulk in your hand you win the game.

[HdH_Cthulhu]

Maybe something like [I]
Would the following card have potential?

Impulsive Thoctar
Creature - Beast
When Impulsive Thoctar is put into your graveyard from anywhere, look at the top four cards of your library. Put one of them into your hand and the rest on the bottom of your library.
4/4

Oh this would be soo broken in dredge, now they could impulse in their sb hate!!!

Maybe a bit strong but i think merfolk needs a as powerful 1 drop than lakey

Suprememage
Creature - Merfolk
Tap: Stifle
1/1

Very strong effect but in a format where Goblin welder, and Disciple of the Vault are tier 2 creatuers i think its ok :)

sorry for the gramma and errors im a bit drunk : ))))

[DukeDemonKn1ght]

Suprememage
Creature - Merfolk
Tap: Stifle
1/1

Very strong effect but in a format where Goblin welder, and Disciple of the Vault are tier 2 creatuers i think its ok :)

This dude has been brought up before, except slightly differently. The last person I saw suggest it gave him a "Sacrifice: effect" ability, instead of a "Tap: effect" ability... Honestly it seems kinda counterintuitive but I think the card would actually be stronger with a sac ability, because with this version, they still get to safely crack their first-turn fetch-land, whereas the sacrifice dude would still be able to mana-fuck them if they try to fetch. Still though, I like it, and I agree Merfolk would get a boost from another insane one-drop...

Speaking of which. Here's another insane one-drop Merfolk I just dreamed up:


Briny Bodyguard
Creature- Merfolk Giggolo

Protection from red and from green.
Tap, sacrifice: Destroy target creature being blocked by Briny Bodyguard.

1/2

What do y'all think?? Honestly, I really don't think it's "too good to be printed." (Too good to be printed would be if I gave him pro-green and "trollshroud" instead of pro-green & pro-red.) I just think it's unlikely because WotC are a bunch of fucking fish-haters.

[Phoenix Ignition]

I just think it's unlikely because WotC are a bunch of fucking fish-haters.

Did you not see Lorwyn?

Anyway, anything that's "Merfolk" has to be extremely balanced at best. It gets +2/+2 in a normal Merfolk deck so you really need to take that into account.

A one drop that's 1/2 and pro any color is borderline broken just from the cost of it, even without being a Merfolk and protection from another color.

Add in an extra ability that has any use and you're really pushing your luck.

[DukeDemonKn1ght]

Did you not see Lorwyn?

Anyway, anything that's "Merfolk" has to be extremely balanced at best. It gets +2/+2 in a normal Merfolk deck so you really need to take that into account.

A one drop that's 1/2 and pro any color is borderline broken just from the cost of it, even without being a Merfolk and protection from another color.

Add in an extra ability that has any use and you're really pushing your luck.

Ok, one point at a time:

Yes, I saw Lorwyn... Loved it (mostly.) Hence the " "

Moving on: I really don't think just a one mana 1/2 creature with protection from one color is inherently broken. Not in this wacky, post-Millennium, Tarmogoyf-infested world we're living in. I think once I tack on the second protection and then the third ability, that's about when we start going over the line in terms of power level.

Anyhow, that's really all I can say in defense of my card. It is a little broken... I guess what I was saying is maybe it's not too broken to be completely ridiculous. I tend to design 'em on the "holy fuck" side of the spectrum and then reign it in.

Here's something a little more realistic:

Briny Bodyguard
Creature- Merfolk Giggolo
Briny Bodyguard can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.
Tap, sacrifice Briny Bodyguard: Destroy target creature being blocked by Briny Bodyguard.
1/2

Does replacing protection from two colors with troll-shroud make it "semi-printable" in everyone's opinion?

[Rizso]

Would like to see black geting cheap and good removal spell.

Strangulate B
Instant
Kicker - 3
Destroy Target creature with converted mana cost 2 or less.
If Strangulate was kicked, instead destroy target creature.
It can't be regenerated.

[Phoenix Ignition]

Would like to see black geting cheap and good removal spell.

Strangulate B
Instant
Kicker - 3
Destroy Target creature with converted mana cost 2 or less.
If Strangulate was kicked, instead destroy target creature.
It can't be regenerated.

Would love this.

[whiteshepherdman]

should add split second to that

[SilverGreen]

Does replacing protection from two colors with troll-shroud make it "semi-printable" in everyone's opinion?

No, it doesn't. Not even barely.

Stack a dozen of abilities in cards that always cost 1/4 the amount of mana they should cost isn't the way to make a good card, for whatever format it's intented to, people still must realize and learn it. Cards must be costed for what they do, not for how much we want them to cost. The next step on people's line of thought here will bring us an instant Planar Cleansing that costs 1W and cantrips, you may expect that yet...

And man, why in the hell is this card blue? Do you know what blue cards are and aren't supposed to do?

[Maveric78f]

Erasure WWW
Instant
Exile target non-land permanent. Its controller gains life equal to its converted casting cost.

[Aggro_zombies]

...please?

[DukeDemonKn1ght]

And man, why in the hell is this card blue? Do you know what blue cards are and aren't supposed to do?

Everything about it besides the tap and sacrifice to destroy a creature it's blocking are blue abilities. Pro red & pro green are blue abilities, and trollshroud is something that blue gets as well. Just look at Slippery Bogle

Anyways, yeah. It's busted. But I still want it. I didn't realize this was the "design a perfectly balanced card" thread, I thought it was the "daydream about shit we want" thread.

[Maveric78f]

...please?

It looks awful. It takes 1 turn to be effective. I really don't see in which deck you would like to play this.

[rockout]

@Introspection: I'll take one for landstill please. It doesn't really seem better than moat but it would be worth a try.

[bruno_tiete]

Not gonna happen due to being block and guild mechanics, but

Dispelling Spree W

Sorcery

Replicate-W
Destroy target enchantment.


I guess that should steal a few Grip slots even if far less versatile in most cases.


I would like to see an extra black ritual. Given they come in red now, hybrid (or multicolored... but probably more sucky and an opportunity wasted...) shoud be the way to go.

(R/B)
instant
add 1RB.

or

RB
sorcery
add RRBB

This last one probably sucks. I am not sure how much life loss and/or sorcery speed should cut back from a ritual's mana cost...

[Tacosnape]

(There'd be a whole series of these)

Warren Hideout
Tribal Land - Goblin
T: Add to your mana pool.
, T: Add to your mana pool.

Also,

Succumb

Sorcery
As you choose targets for Succumb, each opponent may choose a permanent he or she controls. Succumb can't target permanents chosen in this way.
Destroy target permanent. It can't be regenerated.

Vaporize

Instant
Return target nonland permanent to its owner's hand unless its controller pays .

Overpower

Sorcery
Destroy target permanent with converted mana cost 1.

Briny Bodyguard
Creature- Merfolk Giggolo
Briny Bodyguard can't be the target of spells or abilities your opponents control.
Tap, sacrifice Briny Bodyguard: Destroy target creature being blocked by Briny Bodyguard.
1/2

This is good, but not as much in Merfolk as possibly elsewhere. I'd play this in a Green Stompy deck with a Blue splash, that would look something like this:

3 Tropical Island
6 Forest
4 Misty Rainforest
4 Verdant Catacombs

4 Elvish Spirit Guide
4 Slippery Bogle
4 Briny Bodyguard
4 Silhana Ledgewalker
3 Troll Ascetic

4 Briar Shield
4 Rancor
4 Seal of Strength
4 Might of Old Krosa
4 Bounty of the Hunt
4 Berserk

Without the splash and the made up card, this is actually a deck one of my teammates runs. It's a monstrous pain in the ass.

[adrieng]

Originally Posted by Aggro_zombies View Post
Naturalize is generally mono-green these days. White can sometimes get slower, more expensive ones with a bonus attached. Something like:

Disenchantment Grove
Land
~ enters the battlefield tapped.
T: Add to your mana pool.
, T, Sacrifice ~: Destroy target artifact or enchantment.

Something like that :

Disenchantment Grove
Land
T: Add 1 to your mana pool.
XG,T sacrifice a forest : destroy target enchantment with cc of X or less

It would be playable in loam, giving you a good late game for counterbalance/humility/moat.
The cost you have to pay for it is quite balanced.