Obligatory shitty card creation thread

[FTW]

In the wake of discussing other options to duals which aren't affected AND giving other colors more filter options - why not both and having something similiar to the scry lands in Standard, except that they're fetchable duals?

Of course this would be too powerful for Modern, but why not having a thought experiment?

The basic gist:


Now it's up to you to give them a drawback that makes them a viable alternative to duals without forcing even mono-colored decks into playing fetches + scry duals, even if they still end up being strictly better than the old duals.

Scry Taiga
Land - Mountain Forest
When ETB, scry 1.
If ~ would enter the battlefield from your hand, it ETB tapped.
If ~ enter the battlefield from anywhere else, you lose 3 life.

or better...

Scry Taiga
Land - Mountain Forest
If it was the first land to ETB under your control this turn, lose 3 life. Otherwise, scry 1.

[Barook]

Would this be too good?

Name, the Vindicator
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
First strike
When Name, the Vindicator leaves the battlefield, you may exile target (nonland) permanent.
2/2

Awesome synergy with Karakas and excess copies (thanks, legendary rule!), gets some value from Terminus and Emrakul triggers, fights off Planeswalkers and trades with pretty much everything in combat.

[miguelmatix]

Would this be too good?

Name, the Vindicator
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
First strike
When Name, the Vindicator leaves the battlefield, you may exile target (nonland) permanent.
2/2

Awesome synergy with Karakas and excess copies (thanks, legendary rule!), gets some value from Terminus and Emrakul triggers, fights off Planeswalkers and trades with pretty much everything in combat.

That's a very nice death and taxes taylored card Like it.



Pluma - Legendary Angel -

Flying, Vigilance

Tap another white creature you control, Pluma gains hexproof

4/4




Diamond Aegis - Legendary Equipment -

Equip

When Diamond Aegis enters the battlefield, name a player.
Equiped Creature Has protection from the named player and gains +2 / +2.

[FTW]

Vengeful Pyromage - RR
Creature - Goblin Shaman
Whenever a player cast an instant or sorcery spell, ~ deals 2 damage to that player.
Bloodthirst 3
1/1

Decent anti-blue tool that really can't be crammed into blue-based decks but flows pretty smoothly in a red-based deck?

[Nonex]

Talking about red, this popped into my mind the other day.

Chaotic Charm
Instant
Choose two - The next spell you cast this turn has cascade; or exile the top seven cards of your library, then you may cast a nonland card among them at random without paying its mana cost; or reveal the cards in your library, an opponent chooses three nonland permanent cards among them, you put one of them onto the battlefield, then shuffle your library; or choose a nonland permanent at random, then put three tokens onto the battlefield that are copies of that permanent.

If anyone plays Dota 2, I think the picture should be Chaos Knight rolling some dice.

[miguelmatix]

Ruby Striker -

Creature - Human Barbarian

First Strike
When Ruby Striker enters the battlefield you may reveal an equipment card from your hand, if you do, put that card into play equipping Ruby Striker.

"plateaus these days are getting more expensive"

3/2



Tectonic Blast -

Sorcery

Destroy all lands and creatures in play

[Bed Decks Palyer]

Miguel, good job. I think I'll look after some Plateaus as long as their price... plateaus.

[Erdvermampfa]

Would this be too good?

Name, the Vindicator
Legendary Creature - Human Soldier
First strike
When Name, the Vindicator leaves the battlefield, you may exile target (nonland) permanent.
2/2

Awesome synergy with Karakas and excess copies (thanks, legendary rule!), gets some value from Terminus and Emrakul triggers, fights off Planeswalkers and trades with pretty much everything in combat.

While this was certainly not your intention, I would strongly expect this card to be played in U/W Stoneforge Mystic Decks. Double-White isn't that much of a stretch (especially on turn 3) for them and Karakas get used in these decks anyway most of the times. Additionally, the First Strike makes it and excellent equipment-carrier. If the mana cost was WWW then I could rather see this reinforcing non-blue decks but would that be fine flavor-wise?

[miguelmatix]

Miguel, good job. I think I'll look after some Plateaus as long as their price... plateaus.

Yeah. Plateau would be more played for sure. lol
The Barbarian could also have only two power so we could fetch it via imperial recruiter. Such a sweet deck.

[Barook]

While this was certainly not your intention, I would strongly expect this card to be played in U/W Stoneforge Mystic Decks. Double-White isn't that much of a stretch (especially on turn 3) for them and Karakas get used in these decks anyway most of the times. Additionally, the First Strike makes it and excellent equipment-carrier. If the mana cost was WWW then I could rather see this reinforcing non-blue decks but would that be fine flavor-wise?

Probably. Miracles would get some value out of it, too, at least the Legendary version with 2 Karakas.

U/W Stoneblade would still run TNN and to get the most value out of it, you would probably try to maximize Karakas use and run 4 copies for Legendary rule shenanigans. Depends on how many 3 drops they could support.

is iffy, even for D&T, as long as you don't have Vial.

[FTW]

Death // Taxes (split card)
Instant

Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't)
Fuse.

Death - 1B

Each player sacrifices a nonwhite creature

Taxes - W

Until end of turn, spells cast by opponents cost an additional 1




Grim Reaper -- BBB
Creature - Ghoul
Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't).
First Strike. Deathtouch.
2/1


The Sun Always Rises -- 2WWW
Sorcery
Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't).
Gain 4 life. Add WW to your mana pool.
Exile this spell and put a time counter on it. It gains suspend.


Tomorrow Never Dies -- 9UUU
Sorcery
Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't).
Take an extra turn after this one.
Exile this spell and put 3 time counters on it. It gains suspend.


Judgment Day
Sorcery
Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't).
8RRWW -- Suspend 4
All players lose the game.
"Let's face it, the lot o' youse were all sinners from the start"

[TsumiBand]

Death // Taxes (split card)
Instant

Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't)
Fuse.

Death - 1B

Each player sacrifices a nonwhite creature

Taxes - W

Until end of turn, spells cast by opponents cost an additional 1




Grim Reaper -- BBB
Creature - Ghoul
Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't).
First Strike. Deathtouch.
2/1


The Sun Always Rises -- 2WWW
Sorcery
Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't).
Gain 4 life. Add WW to your mana pool.
Exile this spell and put a time counter on it. It gains suspend.


Tomorrow Never Dies -- 9UUU
Sorcery
Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't).
Take an extra turn after this one.
Exile this spell and put 3 time counters on it. It gains suspend.


Judgment Day
Sorcery
Inevitable (If a spell or ability or game rule would counter this spell or otherwise remove it from the stack, instead it doesn't).
8RRWW -- Suspend 4
All players lose the game.
"Let's face it, the lot o' youse were all sinners from the start"

Spell, ability, OR game rule?!

These spells can never actually resolve with the current wording. They try to move from the stack to the correct zone on resolution (battlefield for permanents, graveyard for spells) and Inevitable says "Oh, I'll just replace that effect with …nothing." The game ceases to function correctly because the Inevitable spell will eventually be the last object on the stack that is also on top of the stack, and it can't leave the stack but it's already been fully executed, so the game ends in a draw because no players can advance the gamestate due to a mandatory series of actions (replacing "this resolves and goes to the correct zone" with "this resolves and *&#$(#$@#$").

[Scott]

I'm curious if anyone's created a red tool against combo that's powerful enough, but not too overpowered or ham-fisted, and fits within what red does.

Cultist of Suffering

Creature — Human Shaman

Whenever a player casts a spell with converted mana cost 3 or less, Cultist of Suffering deals 1 damage to that player.


_________________________________ 3/1

Close

[Barook]

How about a green Mom variant?

Father of Prunes
Creature - Human Druid
Tap: Target creature you control gains hexproof until end of turn. Regenerate that creature.
1/1

[FTW]

How about a green Mom variant?

Father of Prunes
Creature - Human Druid
Tap: Target creature you control gains hexproof until end of turn. Regenerate that creature.
1/1

Too OP for green. Green has better creatures, generally worse protection, and has better tools to search for utility creatures. Something that interacts with green's strategy (ramping lands) seems like a better fit for the color pie. After much deliberation, I have decided the card would be balanced as follows:

Father of Prunes
Creature - Human Wizard
sacrifice a land: target creature you control gains shroud until end of turn.

[PirateKing]

I hope you're making idle reference to Sylvan Safekeeper and haven't just rewritten the card word for word.

[SirTylerGalt]

Snapcaster, Eternal Savant
Creature - Human Wizard
Flash
When Snapcaster, Eternal Savant enters the battlefield, you may return target card from your graveyard to your hand
2/1

[Vicar in a tutu]

No Pain, No Gain
Enchantment
Players cannot gain life.
Players cannot pay life.

[Bed Decks Palyer]

No Pain, No Gain
Enchantment
Players cannot gain life.
Players cannot pay life.

Brilliant! Brilliant! I really like it! Man, you should post it somewhere on WotC's site, maybe they'll like it too!
It's basically reading "hate: format" and I really love it. So elegant. So powerful! Lovely. I'm tempted to invent something similarly nice, but I'm afraid I'll suck.

[TsumiBand]

No Pain, No Gain
Enchantment
Players cannot gain life.
Players cannot pay life.

OrsonWellesClappingOverAndOver.gif

sent from phone, don't be a dick