The MPR wasteland is legit. http://magiccards.info/mprp/en/1.html
So is the FNM swords to plowshares. http://magiccards.info/fnmp/en/12.html
Anything that has the "DCI" foil stamp or "FNM" foil stamp is a tier below in pimpness.
FTV foils are even lower than those.
Noble hierarch http://magiccards.info/cfx/en/87.html is more pimp than http://magiccards.info/jr/en/66.html because of the ugly judge set symbol.
The borders on the judge foil Noble hierarch is better than the Conflux foil, but the set symbol makes it less pimp.
Same thing for Bob and SoFI. Borders infinitely better, set symbol infinitely worse.
Original foil > Judge foil.
Now, things like Karakas and Show & Tell, which had no original foil. Those I prefer the original non foil, because the foil versions are hideous with a huge swoosh stamp and set symbol.
Just unplayable imo.
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Foils look like dogshit poke-duelmasters cards.
Judge foils look like dogshit poke-yu-ghi-oh cards, the worst being the original art in a new border with the foil bukkake process slapped on.
FNM foils are just as bad but they reflect the fact that you may go to FNM which makes you a barnacle.
The quest for all foil is fruitless anyway until the reserved list gets zapped. At some point your deck whose only non-foils are duals will be a steaming pile of marked.
Beta / Korean / Russian / German Signed > All
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My Death and Taxes deck only has 4 non foils in the 75, and they are Karakas, the shooting star in the text box is horrible and I refuse to acquire cards that have it (unless I get an excellent deal on it for flipping purposes). Judge Promos that use the old frame, such as Hierarch, SoLaS, and SoFI are awesome. I double sleeve my decks and I've never had any issue with either foils, or non foils be marked because of curving, or for anything else for that matter.
My opinion is get things as foil as possible without making it fugly (No FNM stamps, no FTV, no shooting stars across the entire text box).
I use the original foil printing, and on special cases I may use a judge instead of the original foil printing (Like Hierarch, SolaS, SoFI, and soon to be SoFF)
I like my decks to use UNhinged Foil basics, delving into Foil Zendikar basics for EDH
When the foiling options have been eliminated I go for original printing.
I dislike foreign, so everything must be English.
(Cyrillic is an awesome looking language though, so I collect whatever foil Russian things I can get at bulk foil rates)
Everyone has their own tastes, above is mine. I don't care if you despise my choices or absolutely love them, but they are my choices, let the choices of others be left alone...
Though with that said, there are some tastes that I dislike (foreign, but I respect it, just don't want it for myself), but I don't ridicule anyone for having tastes that differ from mine.
"Pimp" is subjective. I prefer old frame over new frame even if it's a Judge promo, like Crucible of Worlds. Mainly because "modern" foils aren't that differentiable from non-foils as in the case of old cards (where's the star?!). To be pimp, a card has to be easily differentiable from more common versions.
In the case of Force of Will, there isn't even an Asian version, so I'll take the new foil one. It gets a bit more complicated to me when I have to choose between original Japanese/Korean and a later foil version (that's the case for Wasteland, Intuition, Gaea's Cradle, etc.)
Most "pimp" is not subjective. What people like is subjective. There is a level of "pimp" that is/can be agreed on by majority of players.
It's like saying Ferrari is subjectively (vs objectively) more "pimp" than a Nissan 350Z. It is not. It is in fact objectively more "pimp".
Just like with cars, in magic, there is a certain level of PRESTIGE or what some may call "pimp". While you can only afford some level of "pimp", you may have a bias towards it since its all you can afford.
A lot of people fall into this type of thinking. "What I can afford is prettiest TO ME". They tend to ignore the other (more pimp) options because they cant afford them.
This leads to the thinking that "pimp" is subjective.
Here is a guide that I think a lot of people can agree with.
Basics (in level of prestige):
Summer > Guru > Arabian Nights Mountains > Foil Unhinged > Beta > Apac/Euro/etc. > FBB > MPR > Foil Zendikar > etc.
Duals:
Summer (mostly unattainable but here as a placeholder) > Beta > Alpha > FBB > Unlimited > Revised
Fetchlands:
Original Onslaught Foil > Zendikar Foil > Original Onslaught > Original Zendikar > Judge Foil
All other cards:
Beta/Alpha (if available) > Original art black border (ie: Kird Ape) / Foreign version (korean, etc) > Original Foil (STP/Wasteland) All languages > Original non foil black border (Karakas, Dreadnought, Show & Tell) > Judge foil > FTV foil> White border
Unsigned vs Signed card
This one is the only truly subjective category IMO. Some dealers do not like them, some do like them. Some people consider signed cards "destroyed" and/or "ugly". Others covet them.
I will not rate them because of that.
Same with altered cards.
Edit:
Added FTV foils
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Eh, didn't even consider summer basics -- there are a lot of options for basics out there, unlike duals. I'd only stick with summer throughout if it were for purely value-related reasons, and even then that applies mainly for duals, because there are more expensive versions of most other staples.
So, yeah. It's subjective.
One must imagine Sisyphus happy.
Nice summary of pimp. You could further elaborate on your treatise on pimp by including foreign but it gets murky. For example
Original Onslaught Foil > Zendikar Foil > Original Onslaught > Original Zendikar > Judge Foil
How pimp is a German Foil Polluted Delta to a German person? Maybe the majority of Germans consider English or Japanese more pimp. But to a sub set of 'mericans the German Delta kills it and is worth 150% of an English one.
One other pimp aspect is ... can you just fire up a website and immediately buy it. E.g. an English Foil Dark Confidant might be pimp, but I can go buy 4 in the time it took me to post this from 15 different vendors. But finding Russian ones and getting them signed by Bob Maher is much harder, and the resultant product whilst desirable to less total people is basically unique and so to the people who do value it - the spike is higher.
Then there is the aesthetic of foil, you either like it or you hate it. I personally hate it, maybe because I started earlier ... they just don't look or feel like Magic cards to me. Same with the new border, but that unfortunately can't helped.
I've hoarded up a good amount of german foil Zen basics, which are very high on the pimp scale for me -- but english foil Zen basics don't rate very highly for me.
I prefer Alpha basic lands over any other version. And obviously Alpha over Beta in any other case. Alpha not only is rarer but it's the original.
In general I prefer the first printed version. In Japanese if it exists, and foil if it exists. There are some exceptions, like Brainstorm. I prefer foil Japanese over Ice Age. And Force of Will probably will be another exception. When Mana Drain gets its foil promo (I bet they will release it, as there's also a new art for it on MTGO), I'll still prefer my English Mana Drains.
I really don't get how people wants something like an "ugly" new art new frame foil Demonic Tutor over an Alpha one.
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One card defines how awesome black is in Magic: The Gathering, and was exactly how the game's creator envisioned things. The other looks like the CGI box art to a Diablo Expansion.
I like both, but in different ways.
I hate the old frame in foil, so if I want a deck foiled, I want it new boarders. If it's non-foil, I want it to be Alpha/Beta.
"The Ancients teach us that if we can but last, we shall prevail."
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Thank you, professor! But please, there must be many more of what you may learn us on what is pimp.... what is pimp, baybee don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no moar. What is pimp, baybee don't hurt me, don't hurt me, no moar, wow-uh-wow-uh-wow-uh-uh-yeah, yea-yea-yeah, wow-wow, what is pimp.
Came in the mail today.
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Enough fighting about cards. How about play mats. I got some new ones because the last 3 sets have had barely any magic cards with text on them.
Also ... I randomly got this done @ ECCC ... I had put my stuff to get signed in it and realized Tedin and Hudson were there, so here's a pimp box
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Doom approves.
The "Let off some steam, Bennett." scene would've been awesome too.
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